Sorry this chapter took so long. I've been fighting myself over it and was trying to find the motivation to write it. Not that i didn't want to write it, it's just really emotional! Anyways here it is! Hope as always you all enjoy! And that's for your gracious reviews!

Alone in the Middle of a Crowd

"Knock, knock."

Kate looked up from her dazed thought and over to the doorway seeing Charlie and Claire standing there eagerly.

"Hey." Kate smiled sitting up.

Quickly without words Claire came rushing in past Charlie with open arms. Immediately she wrapped her arms around Kate holding her close.

"How are you?" She asked pulling away to look Kate over.

"I'm good. I guess." Kate replied shrugging the question off.

"Well that's good.' Charlie smiled coming next to Claire.

"How are you guys?" Kate asked looking between the two.

"Good except for the usual stuff…" Claire began to explain.

Kate looked to her confused. What was the normal stuff? She thought. Normal to her was a gunshot wound and a broken leg.

"You know anemia and being pregnant." She laughed rolling her eyes.

"How is the baby?" Kate asked looking down to Claire's bulging stomach.

Without words Claire place her hand over her swollen abdomen. As she did this, her face became blank and Kate began to think the worst.

"They said it's healthy and that I shouldn't have any problems.' Claire explained staring down at her stomach.

"That's good. You had me worried there for a minute." Kate smiled brining Claire's stare back to her.

"And Christopher?"

"Oh he's doing great. They're just running some tests on him." Claire explained as her face fell again.

"I really didn't want to leave him…" She continued fiddling nervously with her fingers.

Kate could see she was worried as her eyes dropped and she became quiet. She had no idea how she felt not being a mother and all, but she knew it wasn't a good feeling.

"Hey…" She began resting her hand over Claire's.

Her eyes came up to again meet Kate's. They were full of tears.

"It's ok." Kate smiled hoping to make her feel better.

"Yeah I guess you're right." Claire said with a weak smile hiding her fear.

Kate said nothing as she leaned in taking Claire in her arms like she had her. Claire rested her head on Kate's shoulder sniffing back tears. Gently rubbing her back, Kate held her tighter before pulling back.

"Go and be with him." Kate said.

Claire's face lit up as thought she had just been set free. And with Kate's words Claire leaned in and squeezed her tight.

"I'm fine by the way.' Charlie called from behind them.

The two separated and looked back to him with raised eyebrows. He stood there with a sad puppy dogface trying to pull sympathy from the two.

"Charlie's fine by the way." He said as a smiled grew across his face.

Kate couldn't help but burst out into laughter causing Charlie to do the same. He couldn't believe she remembered that. It had been so long ago, yet it was so fresh in their minds. Claire looked back and forth between the two utterly confused.

"I don't get it." Claire announced looking to Charlie.

"It's something I said when me, Kate, and Jack went to the cockpit looking for that transceiver thing." Charlie explained with his face turning red as he tried to swallow his laughter.

Claire looked back to Kate for some more detail. Her mind wasn't on the joke anymore it was on Jack. The moment Charlie spoke his name he popped in her head. Seeing Claire confused she just shook her head and let out a laugh to cover up her mind wondering. It was just one of those "you had to be there moments".

"I'll explain it to you later." Charlie said with a wink.

"We best get a move on and go see the little one." Charlie exclaimed with a sigh.

As they got ready to leave Claire and Kate wrapped their arms around one another one last time and kissed each other on the cheek. Claire moved out of the way and towards the door as Charlie walked up. Kate quickly embraced him in a hug.

"Now you get better so you can join us on this lovey boat." Charlie said pointing his finger in Kate's face.

"I will." Kate assured him.

"Alright then." Charlie smiled.

With that he turned and walked over to Claire. Wrapping his arm around her waist he lead her out of the room. Leaving Kate again alone. Alone with her thoughts. Her thoughts of Jack.

Her thoughts turned into dreams as she fell asleep. The night seemed so long and it felt like day could never come. With the haunting images of her past, the island, and Jack swimming in her head she had a hard time staying asleep. Then she would just lie there staring out the porthole into the night sky wondering where they were. There were times when she felt eyes upon her and she knew on occasion some people stopped by and peeked her in room. She knew the doctors and the nurses were checking on her, but she also knew Jack was too. His eyes were forever burned into her skin.

Two days went by and her health improved. On the second day back to the states they pulled her off the machines and let her walk around. By the forth she was completely out of the room and bunking with Sun. Still she was watched and monitored along with the rest of the survivors.

She wanted badly to join the others up on deck and out in the sun, but she was terrified that they'd catch her. They knew they were waiting around that corner for her. Waiting to pull away from this and take her to the states to lock her up. When she did venture out of her room she was cautious.

Looking around the corner she checked to make sure they weren't right behind it looking for her. Seeing the long hall nearly empty she continued. Walking along minding her business she made her way to the staircase leading to the outside deck above. As she walked a man came out from around a corner and headed for her.

His eyes were on her as carried along. She immediately became weak and short breathed. He caught her eyes and she was certain he was there for her. The closer he came the more terrified she became. As he came to her she had to look up. He simply looked down to her with a smile and continued on his way. Kate stopped, turned, and watched him walk away. The second he disappeared behind a corner she let out her breath. Bringing her hand to her chest she felt her heart beat return to normal.

Walking up the stairs and out into the open Kate quickly took in the fresh air. It felt good to be out in the open. Glancing out onto the horizon the sun was setting beneath the sea spattering a ray of beautiful colors across the sky. It was breathtaking.

Not a breathtaking as when her eyes wondered over to see Jack. He just stood there, his arms resting limply over the railing and his gaze out onto the horizon. Seeing him standing there she couldn't move. It was the first time she had seen him sense that awkward day in her room.

Her face became sad when she realized he stood alone. Looking out across the deck she only saw a few survivors here and there. He was the only one she really knew. She just watched him wondering what he was thinking. Was he thinking about her?

Finally after standing there forever it seemed she realized it wasn't doing her any good just standing there. Slowly she began to walk over there never breaking her stare. Trying to be as quiet as possible she came up and stood next to him. Instantly she felt at happy. Just standing there next to him without words just made her feel right. Oddly he didn't notice her as she stared up to him. Maybe he did and was just pretending not to see her.

After standing they're for a while with not a look, a word, or acknowledgment it became an uncomfortable feeling standing there without words. Looking up to him she waited once more to see if he would say anything. Nothing. So she nudged him lightly in the side. He looked down to her confused with a furrowed brow until he realized whom it was. When he did his face lit up with surprise.

"Kate." He exclaimed with a smile.

She just stood there with a smile happy to see him happy. He wanted to say something to her, but couldn't make words. He was just so happy to see her up and about instead of confined to that room.

"Ho…how are you feeling?" He stammered trying to pick the right question.

"Good." She answered turning around and leaning over the railing like he had been.

"That's good." He said lowering his voice as he too turned and hung over the railing.

There was that awkward silence. Awkward to some, but pleasing to them. It just felt good to be close to each other. To not be alone anymore. Standing there arm to arm watching the sunset which was calming to both of them.

"So…" Kate began looking up to him.

"How has Jack been doing?" She asked as he glanced down to her.

"Good. I guess. Nothing to exciting." He answered with a sigh and slight smile as he turned to his side to face her.

"Just isn't fun if your not being chased by some monster or stitching someone up huh?" She asked with a smile of her own pulling at the corner of her lips.

"Nope nothing that exciting." He laughed looking back out over the water.

"We reach LA later tonight." Kate announced in a sullen voice as she looked down to her hands dangling over the railing.

"Yeah…." Jack sighed his attention still caught by the water.

Kate knew he was feeling the same way she was. It was scary to think after nine months they were back in civilization. Everyone was on edge about it. That's why they were all probably in their rooms. Clinging to the last moment together before they would all go back to their lives. Hopefully.

Sadly Jack and Kate had to go back to their own lives as well. Jack going back to being a doctor and back to his mother without brining his father home like he had said. He didn't know how he was going to put himself back into that job of being a doctor. And then there was Kate's life. What did she really have to go back to? Last time she was in the real world she was running. She had no life. No family. No one to love her. She doubted it would matter if she had any of that anyways. She was certain they were waiting for her in LA.

Jack looked down to see Kate in an intense daze with her hands. He saw the fear on her face and knew what that fear was of. Without even looking in her eyes he could see what she was afraid of. He wanted to comfort her and tell her it was all going to be ok like he had when they first got on the boat. Then he believed it for her and not himself. Not he didn't believe for either of them. There was no certainty for them.

"It's going to be ok." His voice assured.

Kate looked up to see him smiling down upon her. She was confused about what he meant.

"What?" She asked.

"It's going to be ok." He repeated hoping she believe his words.

"Whatever happens I got your back. No matter what." He continued.

She became weak with his words. He was going to be there no matter what happened and she believed him. With every fiber in her body she believed him. He was going to protect her.

Tears stung her eyes and all she could do was wrap her arms around his neck and pull him close. Without words Jack wrapped his around her and held her tight. Pressing her to his chest he felt her shaking in his arms. This brought on his own tears as she rested her head on his shoulder. No words were said as they stood there holding each other not wanting to let go.

They held each other till tears stopped or wouldn't come anymore. Just the touch and warmth of one another calmed both down. Telling them it was all ok. They had each other to fall back on.

"Thank you." Kate whispered against his neck.

Jack was frozen with her words. She shouldn't be the one thanking. He should. She was the one that made him realize what he was there for. Her.

"Thank you." He said back to her holding her closer.

Kate pulled back with his words. Looking up to him she was confused.

"Why are you thanking me?" She asked.

"For just being you Kate. For not holding back." He said wiping his hand across his face.

Kate had to laugh at his reason as she wiped away her own tears. No matter how weird the reason it was a reason. And she could see in his eyes and the way he said it that he meant it.

Slowly she turned away and looked out to the water again. Jack came up and wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to his side as he joined her in looking out to the horizon.

"It's going to be ok." He said again.

Kate nodded her head as she glanced up meeting his eyes.

"Yeah…." She sighed lowering her head to his shoulder.

Night came quickly full of worry and fear. The survivors had gathered their things and headed out onto the boat deck. LA was seen in the near distance. They were no more then a mile away. A mile stood between all of them and their new lives.

A helicopter was going to fly them to the hotel they were all staying in for the next week till everyone got situated. The Hilton hotel sounded nice, but no one really wanted to stay there knowing that in a week's time they'd all probably never see each other again.

Kate came up on deck just as the helicopter landed. Jack was right behind her with his stuff. They had spent the last hours on the boat together scared that once they left that would be it. Walking up to the crowd Kate was fearful and so was Jack, but they knew they weren't the only ones scared.

Claire looked over he shoulder as she stood next to Charlie holding Christopher tight. She smiled seeing Kate and Jack together. She hoped that they worked out what was between them and got together like she knew both of them wanted to be.

Kate looked up to Claire staring at her as she and Jack walked up. She flashed her a smile seeing Christopher peaking over her shoulder.

"Hi." Kate said in a high voice greeting the small child.

"Haven't seen you in awhile." She smiled caressing his cheek with her finger.

"Haven't seen you either." Claire stated looking to Kate.

Kate's stomach tightened seeing the men jump off the helicopter and beginning to walk towards the group. Still she tried to focus on Claire.

"Well I've been hiding." Kate admitted loosing her smile as her eyes turned to the men again.

Claire knew what she was hiding from without even looking back. She like Jack saw the fear on her face.

"It's going to be alright Kate." She assured her with a smile.

Kate chuckled at the comment. It was so familiar to her.

"Yeah… everyone has been saying that." Kate sighed looking back to Jack who stood close behind her looking to her with that comforting smile.

Claire smiled along with the two knowing her and Jack's words were right.

"And everyone's right." Charlie chimed in.

All three looked to him.

"Everything is going to be fine. We're all going to go back to normal and forget that bloody hell hole." He finished wrapping his arm tightly around Claire.

She looked up to him with a warming smile as he looked down to her with the same. Leaning down he placed a kiss on her lips and then on atop Christopher's forehead. Leaving both of them with smiles.

Kate and Jack had to smile at his hope and love for the two of them. They were going to be together. There was no doubt about it. They were meant for each other.

Kate wished she had hope, but any small amount she had was going to fade once they landed at that hotel. Even if Jack did have her back. It was hard to believe any of them saying it was going to be ok. How did they know? How did they know anything? Did they know that plane was going to crash? Did they know they were going to be stuck on and island for nine months trying to run and survive from monsters and murderers? They knew nothing.

Her mind slowly eased as she turned to Jack who glanced down to her with that smile upon his lips. She knew he thought everything was going to be ok and that everything was going to go back to normal even know the island was more normal to all of them then life in the real world. Little did she know that thoughts of the unknown plagued his mind too. Challenging all he knew and all he had come to terms with in the late nine months.

He realized he couldn't save everybody. As hard as he tried he couldn't. But he wanted to save Kate. Save her from her worries and guilt like she had him. But even he didn't know what was in store. What would happen when they got to that hotel? Maybe she would be arrested and tried. But no matter if she did or didn't he was going to be there.

Kate, Jack, Claire, Christopher, Charlie, and Hurley were on the second helicopter ride. Climbing up into the helicopter Hurley was first, with Charlie, Claire and Christopher second. With Jack and Kate last. Securing themselves in they all looked around to each other. Awkward smiles were given not knowing what to say at the moment, but the feeling of closeness couldn't have been greater.

As the helicopter began to lift off of the ship Claire clutched to Charlie as Hurley clutched to the seat and Kate wrapped her arm around Jack's. They other three laughed at the coincidence, but Jack and Kate just looked to each other in the moment of comfort. The three saw the it factor in the two as Jack wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. It was too obvious for them. But slowly the thought was forgotten as all looked out to see water below them.

"Dudes, I have to tell you guys something." Hurley announced looking to each face.

All were attentive as they looked to him to continue.

"Before all of this. Before the crash. I sorta won the lottery..." He began getting intrigued looks and questioning faces.

"And I'm worth 160 million dollars." He finished holding back awaiting their reactions.

Jack looked to Kate and Charlie looked to Claire. Then they all looked to each other. There was another thing no one knew.

"You're worth 160 million dollars?' Charlie asked wanting to make sure he was hearing him right over the engine.

"Yeah…" Hurley answered somewhat uneasy from the furrowed look Charlie was giving him.

"That's bloody wonderful!" Charlie cheered giving Hurley a high five.

"Why didn't you say anything on the island?" Claire asked.

"Never thought it mattered to you guys." Hurley answered looking around to each of them.

"Well it didn't on an island.' Jack said joining the conversation.

"And it doesn't matter now."

"We love you no matter what." Kate smiled hoping to make him feel better.

And now he did. Looking to each of them with smiles on their faces he felt good about his secret now out in the open and soon a smile grew upon his lips. Quickly it subdued as the helicopter jolted around as it landed atop the hotel. The rocking motion immediately woke Christopher up into a crying fit.

"Shhh." Claire said adjusting him in her arms.

"It's odd how he's quiet the whole time till we land." Charlie remarked gathering his and her things.

He continued to cry and soon it turned in a yell. A yell that begged someone to put him in a bed so he could sleep.

"Is he going to be ok?" Kate asked as Claire headed towards her.

"He just needs to sleep. Too much commotion for one day." Claire said in a hushed tone trying to calm her son. He sensed his mother was uneasy, babies know that sort of thing.

Charlie quickly came up and jumped out putting their stuff on the ground so he could in turn take Christopher. Reaching up for him Claire leaned over with Kate's hand around her waist for balnce and handed the screaming child to Charlie.

"Hey there it's alright." Charlie assured him as he began to bounce him around.

Suddenly he became quiet. Charlie looked back as Claire took notice. Christopher rested his head upon Charlie's shoulder and was in a gaze with the city. All the lights and sounds. They were so new to him as well to the others.

"This is the real world." Charlie whispered.

"Don't know if it's really safer or not…" He began looking back to the child in his arms.

"But you got me here to protect you." He smiled rubbing Christopher chubby cheek.

"And me." Claire called walking up behind them.

"And your mummy." Charlie smiled leaning down to place a kiss on Claire's cheek.

Without thought or worry about the other the two started on towards the elevator. They were in their own little world.

"They're so happy." Jack exclaimed to Kate as he picked up his bags.

Kate didn't hear him. She stood looking out to the city like Christopher had. In such a gaze with all the lights and sounds. It was nothing like looking out onto the ocean and the beautiful sky. The look of the city and the dim stars was unnerving not calming.

"Earth to Kate." She heard as Hurley came up next to her.

She looked over to him as he waved in her face catching her off guard. He just gave her a chuckle shaking his head as he headed after the lovebirds. She just gave him an uneasy smile and looked back out to the city. She didn't look long. Jack came up next her and stood there looking out to the city as she did causing her to look to him instead.

'You ready?" He asked looked down to her.

She gave him the same smile she gave Hurley. A smile to cover up her fear he knew she had. But reluctantly enough she had to go inside and face this head on. With a sigh she slung her backpack over her shoulder and headed off with Jack.

The elevator ride was worse then the helicopter ride. Christopher screamed the whole three minutes while they all tired to comfort him. His crying wasn't the nerve wrecking part. It wasn't being confined to a small metal box hurling down a concrete shaft. It was the fact that they all learned that their families were waiting for them when they stepped off.

For Hurley that meant his mother and brother. He couldn't wait to hug his mother again. He had honestly missed her nagging. For Charlie that meant Liam and his family who were now Claire and Christopher's family. Maybe there was a chance for a Driveshaft reunion after all. Then there was going to be Jack's mother and whoever else decided to show up. He knew he wouldn't hear the end of it for not brining his father home. Family waiting for them meant the Feds waiting for Kate.

All of them stared at the numbers as they counted down. When it stopped on one, breaths were held. They all looked to each other and then back to the doors. As they opened a burst of energy took them off guard. There was everyone who had survived. All of them reuniting with their families and loved ones.

Immediately Hurley took off as he saw his mother. She began to call his name as she ran to him across the room. Charlie quickly spotted Liam. Taking Claire's hand he led her off to meet his family. Leaving Kate and Jack to find their way. With one deep breath they headed out together.

The two walked through the crowd. Occasionally stopping to meet someone's family. But both of them really didn't care in sense that they were looking for their own. Kate searched the crowd looking for that man in the suit who would spot her and come running. Jack skimmed the crowd for his mother or some family member, but was more attentive to Kate's search. He wanted to be right next to her to try anything he could to keep her free.

Coming to the front door of the hotel and the outskirts of the crowd their searches ended in vain. Looking outside they could clearly see all the reporters waiting for the press conference that been scheduled in two days. Yet with all this Kate's attention was caught by every dark corner and man dressed in a suit.

"See anybody?" Jack asked still looking around.

"No body is here for m-"

"Jack!' A gentle voice called.

He knew that voice. The two turned around to see a woman with short blonde hair, who was no taller then Kate dressed in a cream-colored pantsuit hurrying towards them. Jack's heart quickly sank to his stomach. It was his wife.

"Sarah." He gasped with a loss for words.

Kate became confused as she looked back and forth between Jack and this woman now known as Sarah. Who was she?

"Oh my god Jack." Sarah cried wrapping her arms around him.

He stood motionless in her arms for a moment and then unconsciously placed his hand on her back not knowing what else to do. When she pulled back she cupped his face and stared into his eyes sniffing back her tears.

"I missed you so much." She sighed placing her lips to his.

Now Kate was really confused, but somewhat angry. Was this his girlfriend or what? If she was Kate really didn't have reason to be mad Jack wasn't her's. Of course she had kissed him a couple times, but they never declared how they felt for one another.

As Sarah pulled back Jack stood stunned by the sudden turning up of his wife. Then as he looked to Kate's questioning face he felt guilty.

"Kate this is Sarah." Jack introduced getting a dismayed looked from Kate.

"I'm his wife." Sarah announced putting her hand out for Kate.

Her face instantly came down with those words. His wife? Why didn't he ever say anything? She had feelings for this man. A married man. She suddenly felt sick inside. Worse then she did thinking about being arrested. Jack was married.

Kate reluctantly shook her hand. Receiving a disgusted look from Sarah at her awkwardness and distance as she tired to be polite. Kate just couldn't look this woman in the eyes. Not while she was trying to stare into to Jack soul and figure out what he was thinking as he stared at her with obvious remorse.

"And how do you know Jack?" Sarah asked.

Jack thought this was his turn to step in, but Kate beat him to the punch.

"He saved my life." Kate said in near whisper trying to display a smile on her face to cover up her impending tears.

"Oh he did." Sarah sighed looked back to Jack with worship in her eyes.

"See I told you these hands were good for something else." Sarah smiled taking his hands and placing them on her waist.

That was where Kate drew the line. She was fine with meeting Jack's family. She wasn't too fond about finding out he was married, but she could deal with it like she did everything else in her life that went wrong. But now she wasn't going to listen to "Sarah" talking about their sex life. She couldn't bear to here how great of a lover he was without experiencing it for herself. And she could tell Jack wasn't too comfortable with how she was talking either.

"Look I'm going to g-" Kate started before that family reunion continued.

"Jack.' Another voice much hoarser then Sarah's called.

Kate rolled her eyes as she looked over towards the voice as Jack and Sarah did. Another woman came walking up. She was as tall as Sarah, but much older. Her cinnamon colored hair was thinning out and her body seemed rugged as she approached them. Kate thought about it maybe being his other wife, but took it as his mother.

"Mother.' Jack said as Sarah moved over towards Kate so Jack could see his mother.

She said nothing, as she looked her son over. Kate saw the insecurity Jack held as she came walking up to him. And he held it well. He and his mother hadn't gotten along too well after Jack ratted his father out. She of course blamed his for it and knew she would blame him for not brining him home. That was the kind of relationship he had with his parents. If he wasn't the best or doing what they said he was barely their son.

Sarah and Kate passed edgy stares between each other as Jack's mother continued to scrutinize her son with her eyes. Trying to find something to pick at. His face wasn't shaven, his clothes were dirty, and he had really showered in nine months. It was her pick of a candy store.

"That island didn't treat you well." She finally said summing it all up.

Jack looked away trying to compose himself to be respectful. It was hard to hold it back when he had learned to let it all go on that island. He didn't want to hold back, but he did.

"Well trying to survive for nine months really doesn't treat anyone well." Jack exclaimed saying what needed to be said without really saying it.

It was enough to push her back and take notice of Kate.

"And who this?" She asked looking to Jack for an answer.

"This is Kate." Jack said getting that look from her again as Sarah came close to his placing her arm around his back.

"I'm Barbara." Jack's mother introduced with as smile.

"An how do you know Jack?' She asked.

Here it was again, Kate thought. The same question Sarah had asked her.

"He saved my life." Kate answered not even bothering to look to Jack who had his hand forcibly laid on Sarah's waist.

"Oh really." Barbara questioned looking back to Jack who plaster fake smile across his face.

"At least he managed to save someone." She remarked giving her son the same plastered smile that had now dropped from his face.

He knew she would mention something about his father. He waited for it and there it was. She had to go and bring it up in such an underlined way that everyone knew she meant something, but only she and Jack knew what.

"Well I don't know about you guys, but I've had enough family reunions for one night." Kate announced having had enough of family "Sheppard".

"Yeah I think it's time to turn in too." Jack agreed hoping that small agreement might ease Kate, but of course it didn't. He still got that lonesome stare.

Slowly and sullenly Kate began to lead the four of them unconsciously towards the front desk of the hotel.

"But what about your family Kate?" Sarah asked.

Kate turned around looking to her with a questioning face. Why was she concerned about her? She didn't even know her. But for Jack's sake she didn't make a scene.

"They'll be here tomorrow." She smiled looking awkwardly down to the floor then continued on towards the front desk.

She really wanted to believe what she had said. She wished her family were coming tomorrow, but no family was coming for Kate.

Going up to the desk Jack and Kate got the keys for their rooms. Turned out they were staying in rooms right next to each other. What were the odds? As they turned and headed for the elevator they looked over to see the crowd dying down as others began to turn in. Looking to each other they felt an instant rift between them as Sarah clung to Jack. It was going to be a long week.

Stepping off the elevator Kate fell to the back of the group as Barbara led the way down the hall. Kate walked in loss watching the married couple before her. Why didn't he tell her? She kept thinking. Why did he keep this from her? After all the secrets they shared this is what it had come to?

They came to Kate's room and she was the only one who stopped. Jack said something to Sarah as he pulled away looking back to Kate fumbling with they key. Barbara continued on to the next room not paying attention to her son and daughter in law falling behind.

Much to Sarah's obvious wining Jack walked over to Kate. She didn't even bother look up to him as he stood next to her. She couldn't look him in the eyes. Not like she had no more then an hour before. Not with his wife standing three feet away.

He knew why she was giving him the cold shoulder and he deserved it, but still he wanted a chance to explain. A chance to tell her why he never said anything. A chance to make it right again. That chance wasn't happening that night.

As Kate opened the door she threw her stuff to the floor never minding the elegance of the room. It didn't matter to her. A room was a room and a bed was a bed. Anything was better than airplane seats. In an instance turned back to face Jack.

"Well I guess this is goodnight Jack." She said with and aggravated sigh.

She was mad with him. Mad that when she looked over his shoulder there she stood, but when she looked back into his eyes she felt like falling into his arms. She wanted to him to hold her while cried, but she was behind him. And she was his wife.

"Goodnight Kate." He said in a throaty voice as tears pulled at his eyes.

He was suddenly emotionally exhausted as he looked at her. Her face stern, but her body shaky. He knew she was covering up. He knew she was venerable at that moment and couldn't be anything, but angry with him.

Both reached for the door. Jack taking the doorknob and her the back of the door. Slowly and painfully they both closed the door on what could've and had been.

As the door clicked shut she pressed her body to the door listening to what Sarah had to say. She couldn't make it out, but knew it was about her. Listening to their footsteps walking down the hall she paused waiting for the door to his room to shut. When it did all was lost.

Her legs let out from under her and she fell to the floor still clinging to the doorknob above her head. Letting go her hand slinked down to rest on her hand and she let go. Tears came on like a spring rain. Pouring down her face like a river let loose from a dam. She couldn't hold it in anymore. It just all came out. Pulling her legs to her chest she rested her head upon her knees as she cried. Looking out into the dark room she felt alone. More alone then she ever had been.

Walking into his room with Sarah behind him, Jack just wanted to fall to the floor and pass out. This was all too much for him. Coming back, trying to help Kate, Sarah being there, and then there was his mother. He just wanted to lie down and forget about all of it.

"Come on Jack let's go to bed." Sarah suggested as she rested her hand across his back.

Much to his own surprise he didn't want to fight her. He didn't care anymore he just wanted to lie down and sleep. So he went along with it. She took him by the hand and slowly led him off towards the hallway leading to the bedrooms. And he let her. He just went along thinking to himself how he screwed this all up, and then he saw his mother.

"Jack…" She began.

She had that same face she had when she told him to go find his father. He knew what she wanted and he didn't want to give it to her.

"Not now." He said stopping her.

"I just got back from being on an island for nine months I'm tired." He winded as he turned and started down the hall without Sarah.

"I'll take care of him." Sarah smiled telling Barbara not to worry.

Coming into the bedroom Jack didn't bother with the lights. He simply dropped his stuff to the floor next to the bed as the door closed behind him. Before he could fall to the bed she was in front of him. Slinking her arms around his neck. Pulling him in for a kiss. He would have pulled away and made up something so he could sleep, but at this point he didn't care. He just wanted to lie down.

As they kissed she began to unbutton his shirt and slide her hands around his neck. It had been so long since either had seen each other or touched each other that it felt new.

"It must have been a long nine months." Sarah chuckled looking down to Jack's pants, which were getting tighter without any of his knowledge at all.

He really didn't feel the sexual craving she felt. He just simply wanted to lie down. And if this was going to get him to that place he didn't care, but did he really want this. Was he going to really sleep with her? She was his wife, but things were different now. Much different. Was that going to stop them?

She got his shirt off and dropped it to the floor. Coming back she pulled her own over her head letting in fall atop his. Kissing him again he seemed to have more interest in what she was going. Wrapping his arms around her pulling her close. It didn't matter to her if he participated or not she had him back and that's all she cared about.

Finally he got to lie down. Only the one small detail was that he lay naked under her as they had sex. He stared up her half dazed about what was going on. He was in a mix of exhaustion and guilt that made him unbelievably drowsy. But the sudden mix of pleasure thrown in there kept him focused.

Leaning up he caught her in a kiss as she wrapped her sweaty arms around him. His lips fed her hunger as she grinded her hips against his lap. Her body begging his for that moment of unity that they had once shared. Her pace quickened as she clung to him and him to her. Holding on to what they once had.

As fast as it had begun it was at its end. Jack's tripped over that line of dazed thought as he felt her nails in his back and his body convulse. All he could hear was his name being called with heavy pants slowly being drowned out by his pounding head.

And then it was over.

He couldn't sleep. Now he was wide-awake with her lying curled up next to him. Scooting as carefully as he could away he came to the edge of the bed and hung there. Looking out the window to the city. It was different then looking out to the ocean like he had so many times. He remembered how calming it was. How had he ended up back here?

His eyes wondered down over the city to the floor of his room. Looking around to each thing between him and the window. He came to see his backpack lying on the floor. Stuff falling out of it. He had carried that backpack for nine months. Brining water bottles to the beach. Fish to the caves. Medical supplies when somebody was injured.

Then he spotted it. There sitting on the floor amongst his clothes that had fallen out was the toy airplane.

"Kate." He whispered.

Suddenly he felt sick. He remembered badgering her with it that day in the caves. Yelling at her to tell the truth. God he hated making her cry. Then seeing her sitting by the fire that night spinning it around in the air.

"It belonged to the man I love, the man I killed!"

Words that rang in his ears as he lay there staring at a toy airplane crying silently to himself. Suddenly he felt Sarah move closer to him and he almost jump out of the bed. Glancing over to her he felt worse. This wasn't whom he was supposed to be with.

Looking back to the plane he began to think back to that night in the caves. Holding her lifeless body to his as he rocked back and forth crying. Pulling away he looked down to her face seeing no smile not even a tear. He couldn't take it he had to leave. He couldn't stay there knowing what he had done. Knowing he had killed her. He pulled away. Then that gasping breath and shaky hand upon his arm pulled him back. Looking down he saw life again. He saw the smile and a tear as it rolled down her cheek.

Jack brought his hand to his face as he saw that night play out before him as if he were watching TV. It was too much. Pulling his hand away he saw the airplane again. He had to talk to her.

As quietly as he could he slipped out of the bed. Grabbing his clothes off the floor he watched Sarah with unblinking eyes, as he got dressed. Wiping away his tears he bent down and picked up the toy plane. With no last look to Sarah he headed out the door.