Here it is. Sorry for the wait. I wanted to make this seven times better then the last chapter. I worked forever on this and think i beat out the last chapter. Hopefully you all enjoy it! Thanks as always to each and everyone of you for reviewing. You guys rock! Enjoy!
Back on Track
Kate had lost time in the dark. It really didn't matter. She sat on the floor crying for what seemed like hours. Holding her knees to chest staring into the darkness of the room.
She wondered how Jack failed to mention his wife to her. All those months, all the flirting, everything and he said nothing. Never showed a sign. He basically lied to her for nine months and made her believe there could be something. Made her fall in love with him.
Did she love Jack?
This had been the second time she had questioned her feelings for him in the last week. First she was afraid she'd never see him again, now he was married and in the next room. So close yet so far away.
She did love Jack.
Not in the way she had loved Tom. She had never loved anyone as much as she loved him. Tom. Her one true love. The man she killed.
Tears again came to her eyes thinking of him and all she had destroyed. His poor wife and son. She caused them to suffer. Caused them pain. Now they had to face the world without him. Just like she had.
Again she thought to Jack and how she loved him. She loved him in a sense like she did Charlie and Claire. She loved them like family. But with Jack there seemed to be more. An underlined feeling that she could love him like she loved Tom.
There was the thought of Tom again. And again it brought on tears.
She turned her head as if trying to hide her tears from the nothingness that surrounded her. Why was she getting this worked up? Her mind was swirling with all that she cared for. All that had lost and gained. She had lost more than she had gained in last three years. She had lost her love and freedom. Now she was on the verge of loosing Jack.
Why was it every time she thought of Jack, Tom popped into her mind?
Turning back she rested her head on her knees. Her eyes scanned the darkness of the room. Looking to all the furniture and antiques that weren't hers. She looked up to the window. Seeing the city that wasn't hers. All the blinking lights and stars that were outcast by them.
This wasn't her world. Her world was a life of running. The life she made for herself long before the island or Jack. A life she made in order to save Tom. A life that had killed Tom. A life that suited her better then this. Sitting on the floor of a plush hotel crying her eyes out over and man she didn't even love. A life that she needed to get back to.
Glancing down to her feet she saw her backpack. Full of her clothes, an airplane blanket, and some food from the ship. Enough stuff to get her by for a while. She thought about it for a moment.
Why not go back out on the run?
No other thought could convince her more to get off the floor and to her feet. Bending over she picked up her backpack. Before sliding it over her shoulder she spotted the mini fridge and made a mad dash for it. She piled the food into every inch of the pack that was empty. There was now enough to get her by for at least a month. That was enough time to get away.
Zipping the pack up she slung it over her shoulder. Without hesitation she headed for the door. She tried her hardest to keep growing thoughts of Claire, Charlie, and Christopher out of her head. There was Hurley and poor Sayid. Then Jack came back into her head.
Coming to the door she put her hand to the knob and stopped. If was if she could see him in the door telling her to stop. Telling her to stay and be with him. Then she came into the picture. Still with her standing behind him with her arms wrapped around him, he begged her to stay. But she couldn't. Not anymore.
Lowering her head she thought about this decision before her. Stay and watch him and his wife lead a happy life. Or go and try to forget about it. So many images passed before her eyes in that moment and when they ended she made her choice.
"I'm leaving." She whispered to herself.
Sniffing back her tears she raised her head in fake pride. Taking a deep breath she gripped the knob tight. Exhaling she swung the door open to start her new life. Only to be hit by her old one she was trying to hide from.
"Kate?" He gasped standing there in front of her.
She looked up into those eyes of his and froze. She couldn't move. He on the other hand was oddly surprised to see her.
"What are you doing?" He asked looking her over.
He saw that she was still dressed like she had been. Her eyes were misty and her face was red. She had been crying. His heart ached knowing it was because of him. He couldn't think why at the moment, but he knew that look in her eyes.
Then he looked down to her hand to see the backpack she had dropped to her side in surprise. It was stuffed full. He could see the peanut bags poking out of odd corners. And he thought to himself again.
What are you doing?
Glancing back up to her face she still had that look in her eyes and that appearance of surprise. And it clicked. She was running.
"Are you running?" He asked.
She said nothing as she turned her back to him and headed into the room. He had caught her. Right in the moment when she had been questioning it he had to come in. It was if he knew. And somehow she knew he did.
What was she to do now?
"Yes Jack I am." She answered.
She couldn't look back to him. She couldn't face him. Still she felt him come into the room and walk up to her. Her eyes focused on the ground as she stood a still as she could. Her emotions were too strong at the moment and if she looked to him she knew she'd loose it.
"Why?"
That was a question she even asked herself. A question she knew the answer to. Because of his stupid wife. A woman she had only been around for ten minutes and maybe only spoken two words to. But if she knew this then why was she suddenly questioning herself? Was it because of him? Of course it was.
"Not like there's anything here for me anyway." She sniffed, as she suddenly felt alone again.
"What about your family? They're supposed to come to-"
"I don't have a family Jack!" She screamed turning around to finally face him.
Tears streaming down her face. She didn't care now. Let him see her broken down. There was nothing he could do to build her up. Nothing he could tell her to make her feel any better.
He stood for a second watching her try and hold herself together. He didn't know what to do. She looked so unhappy and helpless.
"I have no one." She whimpered.
"My mother died, my dad ran out… and the one man I loved I killed."
"I killed him Jack."
She could've collapsed right then. Just fallen to the floor, curled up into a ball, and cried. Cried until she couldn't cry any more. And she knew Jack would try to help. But he couldn't. No one could. She was alone.
He wanted to go to her, but feared the repercussions. Scared of what she would do. He never knew she felt this alone. He had always thought they were in this together. That was back on the island of course. Maybe here it was different.
Of course it was different.
Back on the island their lives were the same. No matter their past or the present. They faced each day together. That was how he thought they would face life back in the real world. Together. Though he never actually thought they'd make it back to the real world.
Yet here they were. Now there was no together. There was only apart. Him back to being a doctor and saving strangers lives. And her….
He really didn't know what life she had waiting for her. It was either behind bars or something she chose. He hoped a life with him was what she'd choose, but instead she rather run. Run away from her problems trying to seek self-happiness. He couldn't stop her. No matter what he wanted or thought, he promised to make her happy no matter what. And if this was it then so be it.
He had to let her go.
She turned away again not being able to look at him. And again she felt him walk up to her. Yet she didn't move as his shadow came over her.
"Here." He whispered extending his hand to her.
Intrigued she looked over to see what he was giving her. She half expected it to be money. Instead there was Tom's toy airplane. Without a second thought she took it from him.
"I thought you might want this."
Her eyes glistened again with tears as she held it. She thought had lost it. Left it on that hellhole for some weirdo to find. Little did she know he had it all along. Words couldn't express how she felt that moment. She really didn't even know how she felt.
She soon felt sadden as his lips came to her. Leaving a gentle kiss on her cheek. A kiss that nearly burned her skin.
"Good bye Kate."
His words played over her cheek and down her neck burning more then the kiss had. Words that nearly broke her heart. He was letting her go.
With that he turned and walked towards the door. Only stopping to look back to see her still standing where he left her. She didn't move or speak word. It hurt him to see her like this. To see her feel alone when she had someone right behind her.
Taking a breath he looked to her one last time before he turned and walked out the door. But before he made it to the hallway he bumped into a body.
"Whoa! Slow down there man." Charlie laughed trying to balnce himself.
Jack looked up to see Charlie and Claire with Christopher in her arms. Their face lit with smiles. Smile of happiness. When sadness and a feeling of guilt brought his down.
"Where are you off to?" Claire asked.
Jack stood for a moment trying to think of where he was going to go. When he had set out from his room he expected to go to Kate's room. He expected to hold her in his arms and never let go. Instead he was saying goodbye to her. With plan one shot down and no plan two it was time to give up that night.
"Back to my room." Jack sighed thinking of what awaited him there.
Charlie and Claire looked to each other and to Kate door that was slightly open.
"Thought you'd be with Kate in her room." Charlie grinned.
"Yeah me too."
Without a goodnight or another word Jack turned and headed down the hall. Leaving Claire and Charlie questioning.
Kate stood still, clutching the toy plane to her chest. Her tears were gone, but her emotions ran high. She didn't know what to do now. She suddenly felt guilty for wanting to leave. Shaking her head she threw the thought and feeling out. She wasn't going to feel guilty over Jack. None of this was her fault.
Or was it?
Maybe it was. If she wouldn't have fallen for him this wouldn't be so hard. If she wouldn't have….
No. How could she blame herself for something she couldn't control? It was easy. If she blamed herself she didn't have to blame anyone else and make them suffer the guilt.
Turning she tried to push the thought from her mind.
"I have to do this." She muttered heading back for the door.
Looking up she came to see Charlie and Claire standing in the doorway and immediately stopped.
"Are we interrupting anything?" Claire questioned.
"Uhh no." Kate replied setting her backpack on the ground.
She tried not to make it look like she was running. She didn't want to upset them. They hadn't done anything to her.
"Can we come in?" Charlie asked.
"Sure." Kate smiled pushing all the negativity from her mind as she tried to look happy for them.
They came in and Kate closed the door behind them. She stood by the door watching them look over the room. They seemed to be in aw with it when she was repulsed by it. It was too big for just one person. It should have been shared with another. Instead the other was with "her" in his room.
Kate looked away as Jack entered her mind again. She became sick thinking of how he left things that night. He just let her go like that. Why was she beating herself up over this? It wasn't like anything would've happened if Sarah wouldn't have shown up. It was a fool's dream.
"Nice place."
Charlie's words interrupted her mindset. She turned back and tried to plaster a smile upon her face, but couldn't. It was too hard to act happy.
"Ours is a bit smaller." He continued looking back to the room. Then he turned back to her with a cheesy smile.
"Wanna trade?"
"Sure." She replied walking up to them.
Suddenly being able to fake that smile. Maybe it was the sight of his. But he saw through it. He saw her unhappiness the way Jack had.
"Why isn't Jack sharing the room with you?" Claire butted in turning back to her.
Kate's smiled disappeared.
"I mean sense you two were so clo-"
"He's married."
She blurted it out not thinking twice about it. That was the reason and she wasn't going to lie about it. He was married and you can't share rooms with married men.
Immediately Claire and Charlie's face fell. Telling from their reactions they had no idea about it either. They are in the dark as much as she was.
"He's-"
"Married." Charlie stuttered.
Kate nodded her head as she looked away to the city then to the room. She was trying to find something to look at to take her mind of the thought. The thought that wouldn't stop haunting her. The thought that brought tears to her eyes.
"Oh I'm so sorry Kate…" Claire sighed coming up behind her.
"Sorry about what?" Kate questioned in a voice brought down by tears as she turned to face them.
They looked to her. Her face blotted with early tears. It upset her to think about Jack having a wife and they knew it. They could see it in the way she talked and acted. They also could see she was trying to act like it was ok.
"Sorry about Jack…." Claire began.
"I know how you two were-"
"How were we?' Kate questioned trying not to sound angered by the whole situation.
Claire backed down with Kate's attitude and Charlie stepped up.
"You know close." Charlie nearly whispered under her tear filled stare.
A smile tugged at the corners of Kate's lips and she had to let out a slight laugh. All the moments they had shared together came back flooding her senses.
"Yeah…close." She whispered with a smile as she concentrated on one moment in particular.
The moment she kissed him. That night when they sat in the cave as the rains pounded outside. Them sitting around the fire drinking. Telling their deepest darkest secrets. The night he failed to mention his wife. The night she didn't think to ask. It didn't matter that night was perfect. Too perfect. A night she thought they'd be together forever.
Soon she thought back to the day everything was almost lost. That fateful morning when Locke had led her back to the caves. He was so happy to see her when she walked in. The look on his face was concern as he treated her wound. Then he looked up into her eyes as uttered the five words she'll never forget.
"I can't loose you Kate."
That day he almost did. To no fault of his own, but he saw it that way. It wasn't his fault that Ethan moved out of his way. She didn't remember much after that.
Then she thought back to the times she had almost lost him. The day the caves caved in. That seemed so long ago. Only seven days into the nine months of them being there. She felt so vulnerable when she ran into the caves. She would have moved those rocks until she died to save Jack; she worked on nothing but fear.
But then all changed when he came walking out with Charlie. The hug she gave him was embedded in her memory. It was a hug of relief. She was so happy to see him alive. There was also the sling.
She had to laugh at the thought.
So many moments she shared with him. From the sling, to golf, and even guava seeds. Then there were the times she dreaded. Times that made her cringe and even cry. Him yelling at her about the toy airplane she still held in her hand. When he wouldn't talk to her for weeks after Michael's death. Her finding him in that ditch barely alive. She was so scared in that moment. She didn't know what to do. Just like now.
Turning from the memories she didn't even notice she was crying. Not in a sob, but gentle tears. Wiping them away she looked to Claire and Charlie who also had sorrow written on their faces.
"It's getting late. We should go." Claire announced handing Christopher off to Charlie.
Kate wanted to say something to stop them, but couldn't form the words. She knew it was late and she had probably made them a bit awkward with the whole Jack talk. So it was probably best if they left.
"If you need anything let me know." Claire told her as she came up.
She had to be referring to Jack.
"I will.' Kate assured her as Claire wrapped her arms around her.
Kate was the one to hold on and she held on tight. If was if she was clinging to Claire. Telling her in some way that she wasn't strong enough for her to leave. She wanted to hold her forever. Yet Claire pulled away and Charlie came over. Wrapping his one free hand around her. He said nothing to comfort her like Claire had, but Kate felt knew he would've if he had something to say.
Pulling apart Kate had to smile. She was among friends who cared for her and suddenly she didn't feel alone. She leaned down to Christopher in Charlie's arms and placed a gentle kiss a top his head.
"Thanks you guys."
"No need to thank us." Charlie finally spoke up.
With that they headed for the door. Claire came up and gave Kate another hug and turned towards Charlie. Who had stopped and turned to Kate.
"Don't forget about breakfast tomorrow."
"Breakfast?" Kate asked hearing about it for the first time.
"Yes it's the meal in the beginning of the day, before lunch. Hobbits usually have two." He explained.
Hobbits? Kate thought. What did that have to do with anything? It didn't matter. What matter was what she was going to tell them. Or what she was going to do for the matter. Minutes before she was going to leave and never come back, but after seeing them she didn't have the heart.
"I'll be there.' She assured them.
"Wonderful." Charlie smiled opening the door.
"Goodnight Kate." Claire said walking out before him.
"You too."
And then they shut the door and she was alone again. In presence not sprit.
Looking around the room she came to see her backpack laying on the floor again. Last time she had seen it she decided to leave. Now she decided to unpack and live it out. She was going to stay no matter if she had Jack or not. Cause she had Charlie and Claire. Then there was of course Hurley, Sayid, and all the others she had grown to love.
Walking over she picked up her backpack and headed down the hallway to the bedroom. The hallway was short, but elegant and almost made her forget her troubles. As she entered she was relieved to see the bed. Without a thought she dropped her pack to the floor and crawled up on the bed.
She quickly fell to her back and stared up to the ceiling. She was exhausted. The day had been so long for her. She doubted she'd get any sleep. Still there was no hurt in trying. Rolling over to her side she closed her eyes and was instantly hit with sleep.
The phone woke her the next morning.
Moaning in exhaustion she rolled over to look at the clock. It was 11:24. The phone stopped. Staring at it for a moment she waited for it to start ringing again. When it didn't she rolled back over and tried to sleep.
It started again.
With a groan she rolled over and picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Where the bloody hell are you?"
It was Charlie.
"Sleeping." She replied.
"Well get up and get down here."
She could hear the others in the background all trying to be quiet, but it proved too hard. They were all giggling and whispering.
"We're not eating without you."
Kate lay there trying to think of what he meant. Her mind searched the conversation the night before. Skipping over the talk of Jack being married she came to remember his reminder of breakfast.
"Kate?"
"I'm here."
"Well you're not here. Everyone is waiting for you-"
"Come down here." Claire interrupted.
She had to laugh at their attempt.
"I'll be down in five minutes."
"You better. Or we're coming up there." He warned.
Kate said nothing back. She listened for a moment until she heard them hang up. Putting the phone back on the receiver she dropped her hand to her stomach. She thought about it for a second. Did she have the energy to get up? Quickly the feeling of hunger came on and answered her question.
Walking down the hallway of the hotel she could already hear their chattering. She could barely make out their individual voice in her tiresome state. As she yawned she wondered why she had even gotten up. Hunger quickly struck again and she remembered.
Opening the door to the dining room she was hit with a burst of energy.
"Kate." The all called at once.
A smile came to her face as she stood looking to each one of them. Charlie and Claire sat together in the middle of the table. With Hurley and Sayid to the left of them. Locke sat at the head with Sun next to him. Some of the others she hadn't really spoke to sat at the other end across from Locke. Then there was Jack. Sitting across from Claire and Charlie. There was an empty seat next to him obviously for her.
"Sit down." Charlie demanded pointing to the empty chair next to Jack.
She felt awkward as she walked over. All eyes were on her as she made her way. Even Jack's. Coming next to him he instantly got up and pulled her chair out. She looked up to him surprised.
"Thank you.' She whispered sitting down.
He sat back down and looked away as conversation commenced. Quickly it turned to Kate.
"Looks like someone didn't change." Hurley pointed out.
Kate looked down and realized she was still in her clothes from the night before. She hadn't had the energy to change them or she forgot. She really didn't remember.
"I just fell asleep last night. And you guys rushed me this morning so…" She explained with a smile.
They erupted with silent laughter. It felt good to laugh and smile. After nine months of horror it was great to be together like they were and not have to worry about anything.
Within minutes the waiters came up and began taking orders. There were at least six of them. They started at each end of the table and worked their way to the middle. Everyone ordered big seeing how this was their first big meal in nine months. They had the right to pig out and get fat as Charlie put it.
"Where's Christopher?" Locke asked speaking up.
"Oh he's up in the room with Charlie's brother Liam and his wife and daughter." Claire replied.
Charlie added nothing and just simply wrapped his arm around her pulling her closer to him. Everyone seemed to smile at how happy they were. They were the true couple of the group of survivors.
As conversation began again Kate watched on silently. Sometimes looking to Jack. Wondering what was going on in his head. Wondering if he felt the way she did. Turning her thought from him he turned to her.
"See you stayed." He whispered trying his hardest not to look at her.
"Well Charlie and Claire convinced me to stay." She said trying her hardest not to look to him.
He had no comment as he glanced back to her for the first time since she sat down. And for the first time since the night before they looked into each other's eyes. He saw the anger in her eyes as she saw his apology. Still that wasn't going to change how she felt. She needed him to say it.
The food came. Surprisingly enough all the orders were right and they didn't need to call for a mistake. As their glasses were refilled Sayid taped his fork against his getting everyone's attention. They all turned as he stood up.
"I feel so blessed to be among you all here today…" He began.
He was obviously making a toast.
"When we crashed we were all strangers. Over nine months we grew close through fear, survival, love, life, and death. Now we are friends…" He continued looking to each person sitting before him.
"Many did not make it, but still they will not be forgotten. They will be with us always….we have conquered the elements to sit here today in hopes that hopefully we can get back to our lives. I toast to those not with us who will forever be in our memory and in happiness that we made it to this day. To survival." He finished raising his glass.
"To survival."
Everyone raised their glasses honoring every word he said. Taking each word to heart. Some more then others. Taking a drink they all sat in silence remembering what they had accomplished. As they began to eat Charlie stood up and did the same as Sayid calling everyone's attention again this time to him.
"I'd like to say thank you to Sayid for that touching speech. Had me in tears." He joked wiping his fingers down his cheek.
"But what I really want to do is thank each and everyone of you for everything you did over the nine months I came to love all of you…." He began starting his own toast.
"Hurley, thanks for always making it a laugh. We would all of died from boredom without you."
Hurley looked away blushing as Charlie turned to Sayid.
"Sayid, you were the go to guy for everything. Thanks for always being there."
Sayid had to smile at the gratitude as Charlie turned to Locke.
"Locke, you keep us guarded and safe. To you and your 400 knives."
He simply saluted with a smile.
"Sun, I am terribly sorry about Jin and wherever he is he's happy your safe. Now you have a little one to look after and I wish you the best of luck."
Tears welled up in Sun's eyes at his gracious words. He just gave her a wink that made her bust into laughter as he turned to Jack.
"Jack, what can I say about Jack…."
Jack began to blush. He knew Charlie had something up his sleeve.
"He's handsome and charming, but most of all he was our leader."
"You kept us all alive and without you we'd all be dead. Thank you."
Jack looked away with tears of his own starting up.
"Kate. Lovely beautiful Kate."
She did as the others and looked away.
"You are Jack's right hand and without you he wouldn't have made it through. None of us would. You fought more than all of combined. Thank you."
With his words she glanced over to catch Jack's stare. Any animosity between them disappeared for the moment. Charlie's words were the truth. They were a team and neither would have survived without the other. Nothing could change what they were to each other. Not even Sarah.
"To everyone else. You guys I didn't get to know as well as the others, but you were always there. As much as we all were. Thanks."
Then he turned to Claire who waited eagerly for her thanks. Her eyes were wide and waiting for his words.
"And Claire…."
He wiped his hand across his forehead setting his glass down. He looked to her as if there was no one else in the room. It was just them.
"Claire, I really don't know what to say. We've been through so much together. I mean we were stuck on an island for nine months. Running from people, being pregnant, and quitting drugs. Then you were kidnapped and I was nearly killed. I don't know what you went through being all alone and scared. I would've switched places with you in a heartbeat. You didn't deserve any of it…" He continued choking back tears.
Claire was soon wiping away her own. Along with most of the others.
"I felt alone for six months, but I still knew you were alive. I knew it. Then that day you came out of the trees with Christopher. Your beautiful son. A child I consider my own. That was the happiest day of my life. As I said the day we were rescued; I love you Claire. And I love Christopher and our child growing inside you. I will do anything to protect you and our children."
Tears came down all around the table. Even Locke was crying. Charlie was spilling his heart out in front of all of them. He truly loved Claire with all his heart.
"I was just wondering if…." He started again as he got on his knee.
Slowly he took her hand. Everyone knew at that instant was happening. Everyone had to cover their mouths to keep themselves quiet. They all sat watching Claire cover her own as she began to sob.
"Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?"
She sat in shock for a moment.
"Yes." She whispered nodding her head.
"Yes! Charlie!" She cried flinging her arms around his neck bringing him into a kiss.
Everyone stood and applauded. Hurley began to cheer as everyone watched the happy couple with smiles on their faces. There were no words to describe that moment. Charlie pulled away out of breath.
"Now I don't have a ring, but when we go to pick one out you get whatever you want."
"Oh Charlie…all I want is you." She smiled pulling him into another kiss.
It seemed as if everything was complete. They were all on their way to a normal life and Charlie and Claire were getting married. None of them had ever seen any couple as happy as them. They were too perfect together. They beat the odds and now were starting their own family.
As the love in the air died down everyone started eating. Still with food in front of them it didn't stop anyone form talking about what had just happened. There were questions about the date, the place, the decorations, and anything else that had to do with the wedding that wasn't even planned yet. Claire quickly reminded everyone that she didn't even have ring on her finger and she had just said yes no more then ten minutes before hand. So conversation turned to the baby, then Sun's baby, and finally ended with talk of what everyone else was going to do.
That was the longest breakfast any of them had ever been to. It went on into late afternoon. As 4:00 came rolling around people started leaving and heading up to their rooms to spend time with their family. Claire and Charlie quickly left to get Christopher and head out to the pool. Leaving Hurley and Sun to be the last ones to leave. He seemed to have taking a liking to her since Jin was dead, but she wasn't alone. She had her sister and brother in law who lived in LA. And of course she had the others who would always offer support.
Kate had gone back up to her room to take in the mornings events and to change. Walking back into her bedroom after a nice long shower she looked out the window to see the beach. It brought her back to living on the beach on the island. She missed it for some reason. After moving to the caves she hadn't spent much time there. And after Sawyer's death she never really wanted to go back. It had good memories and bad. Still it was home to her for a while before the caves took its spot.
Staring out over the beach an urge grew inside of her. Suddenly she wanted to be down there in the sand. Sinking again. She thought about it and realized it wouldn't hurt. Maybe it would calm her down.
The sand was hot against her bare feet as she dug them into the sand of the surf. It didn't bother her. Every few seconds the water came up and cooled them off.
Looking out over the water she quickly came to peace with herself. Her place wasn't running. Her place was there in the surf watching the waves come in. It was the most settling thing she had ever experienced. The last few days had been miserable for her and this was pure release.
She was so content she didn't see him walk up.
"This is oddly familiar." He said with a laugh.
She saw him out of the corner of her eye. He had taken his shoes off and dug himself into the sand next to her. Looking back up the beach she search for Sarah wondering why she hadn't popped out and come to maul him. Maybe he was alone. If he was it was too good to be true.
Turning back she saw him give her a smile as he looked out to the water. He was trying his best to mend things between them, but he needed to say something. If he didn't she would.
"Why didn't you tell me you were married?" She finally asked.
He turned to her as she did to him. His eyes tried to apologize for him, but they couldn't and he looked away.
"I wasn't when I got on the plane."
"At least I thought I wasn't."
"We separated before I went to Sydney to get my dad." He explained.
He glanced over catching her eyes again. They had turned from anger to understanding for a moment and then to questioning. He couldn't take her eyes stabbing at his heart like they were. They said more then her lips did.
"She wants to work it out." He announced in a soft tone.
"Is that what you want Jack?" She asked staring at the side of his face.
He thought for a minute. What did he want? Kate. The first thing that popped into his mind was her. That was what he wanted. He wanted to hold her and never let go, but he knew that was a highly unlikely possibility. He had broken their trust and it would be hard to get back.
He then came to Sarah. His wife. She had stayed there waiting for him for nine months or so he thought. Could they work it out? Could they get over their past?
"I don't know what I want Kate." He whispered looking into her eyes.
She turned from him. She had given him the moment to bare his soul and he said he didn't know. She really couldn't be mad at him. All of this had just been sprung on him it seemed. It was sprung on her too. And looking at Charlie and Claire who were both so happy she wanted that. She envied what they had. She just wanted to be happy. She just wanted Jack.
Knowing she should speak up she realized she couldn't. It was too hard to come out and say it. She felt the way he must have been feeling. Or at least the way she hoped he did.
Looking over she saw his intense stare with the water. It was like on the boat when had promised to have her back. And she still believed him. Even though she didn't know Sarah she knew she couldn't stop Jack from being there for her.
Standing there in silence watching him her emotions ran too high. She had to pull away before she began to cry. And she knew she would. Slowly she turned and tried to walk away unnoticed, but he saw her.
"Where are you goi-"
"I have to go." Kate whimpered turning away to hide her tears.
And he let her go like he did the night before. He wasn't going to stop her. Quickly she headed up the beach and out of his sight. Leaving him stand there in the same question he had been asking himself the whole time. What did he want? When he couldn't see her anymore he turned back to the water. Looking out to the ocean he searched for his answer.
Kate looked out over the city from her bedroom window. The city looked so peaceful at night. It looked peaceful in the morning too. Still it was nothing like being on the island, standing in the sand and looking out over the water. She had almost had that serenity that afternoon, but Jack walked up.
It would have been just fine if they hadn't gotten into the talk of him having a wife. She really enjoyed standing there with him for those six seconds before she opened her mouth. But it was something she had to do. She needed to know why.
And sadly her serenity ended. She had to walk away. Her reveres were too much for her. They weren't going to let her stand there next to him and not cry. So she did. She turned and walked away. And he let her. That's what really got to her.
The Jack she knew on the island wouldn't have just let her walk away. He would have gone after her if he knew there was a way to make it right. And there was and he knew it. He let her go the way he had the night before when she said she was leaving. It was if he wasn't willing to fight. She wasn't worth it anymore obviously.
Now she stood in front of a window again letting him consume her thoughts. Letting the fact that he lied about his marriage overwhelm her. She was trying her best to get it out of her system before she had to face anyone. And she knew she had to face Charlie and Claire. They had invited her to dinner with them and their family. She tried to make up and excuse, but they wouldn't hear it. They wanted her to be there for their engagement dinner.
A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. Turning from the window she looked to the door as a knock came again. She knew it was them.
Coming to the door she fixed her shirt and wiped her tears away her tears. Looking into the mirror next to the door she tried to see if she was convincible. Hopefully she was cause once she put her hand to that doorknob all would come out if not.
"Hey!" Claire called hugging Kate the instant she saw her.
"Hey…" Kate said back pulling away as Charlie wrapped his free around her.
Pulling away from his she took Christopher from Charlie's arms.
"Hello." Kate cooed setting the child to her hip.
"Ready for dinner?" Charlie asked.
The three walked down to the dinning room where Liam, his wife, and daughter were waiting. Kate was introduced as she sat down. They began a discussion of life on the island and what they faced. They left out major parts of the conversation. Such as parts about the murders and Claire's two kidnappings. Things that looked and sounded too suspicious. Things that people wouldn't believe.
Kate sat silent for most of the dinner. Only speaking when she was asked a question. She just sat there silently nibbling on her food. She didn't want to talk. She really didn't want to be there, but it would have been selfish for her to turn down the happy couple on their happy day. Even if she was down in the dumps.
They knew she was thinking about Jack. That was all she did. She didn't have to say a word to let them know it was his face she saw when she looked to them. It was his voice and his laughter she heard as they talked. She was lovesick and there was nothing any of them could do. They never realized before that how much she wanted to be with him. She had never realized it till then either.
Suddenly she perked up when she heard his voice for real. It was coming behind her, but was joined by a more feminine one. Looking over her shoulder she saw him walking over to a table. He looked great dressed in a white dress shirt that was familiar to the one he wore on the island and some black dress slacks. She smiled as butterflies grew in her stomach just at the sight of him.
Then she turned sour as Sarah came into her view. Smile from ear to ear as she gripped his hand. Kate watched them without a blink as they sat down. Sarah ordered for the both of them as Jack sat with a smile plastered over his face. Kate knew he wasn't happy. She could tell when his smiles were fake.
His eyes quickly shot up and caught hers. Kate's heart began to race and she couldn't pull away. Sarah began to notice his distance and looked over to see Kate. Jack still didn't see his wife giving looks between the two.
Kate felt nervous staring at him with his wife sitting next to him. She gave him a smile and looked away. As she did she heard Sarah's voice rise as she scolded him. Kate couldn't make out the words, but knew it was about the staring.
Looking back over her shoulder she watched as he tried to calm her down with that gentle tone he always used. He never rose his voice to a lady it seemed. Calming her down he looked away and caught her stare again. This time he gave back the smile she gave him earlier. Her heart melted seeing him smile. She hadn't seen it since they got off the helicopter. It made her feel that things could work out. Just maybe.
"Kate?"
She didn't hear them. Her mind was in a world with Jack again. This time it was a good place to be.
"Kate?"
Finally she heard them as Jack pulled away when Sarah caught him looking again. Kate couldn't watch.
Turning back to the table all looked to her with furrowed brows. Claire looked past her to see Jack sitting with his wife. This had been the first time she saw her. She didn't seem like Jack's type, she thought to herself. Kate was Jack's type.
"So ummm…Kate where is your family?" Charlie asked trying his hardest to get her mind away from Jack and Sarah's conversation that was becoming louder every minute.
"I really don't have-"
She stopped hearing Jack raise his voice in the slightest. It nearly made her hair stand up. She had never heard him use that tone. Taking a deep breath she tried to push their voice out of her head and turn back to the question.
"I don't have any family." She repeated.
The table became silent as they stared at her in disbelief. They all wanted to know why, but they knew they shouldn't push it. All except Charlie.
"What about your mum or dad?" He questioned.
Kate didn't hear him. All she heard was the two fighting behind her. She felt terrible thinking she was the cause of it.
"I mean you have to have a mu-"
Charlie flinched back with a wince as Claire elbowed him in the side trying to get him to shut up.
"What?' He asked in a whisper.
"Leave it Charlie." She warned him.
Kate closed her eyes trying to hold back her tears once again.
"I'm going to head back to my room…' Kate announced standing up.
"Are you alright?" Claire questioned looking up to her.
"I suddenly don't feel so well."
"Ok…." Claire sighed knowing she was leaving cause of Jack.
Kate pushed her chair in and readied to leave.
"I'm so happy for you guys.' She smiled.
"Thank you." Both smiled back.
"And it was nice meeting you." She said turning to Liam, his wife, and daughter.
With that she began out of the room, but not before glancing over to see Jack and Sarah.
"Hope you feel better." Claire called after her.
They all watched her leave and waited till to speak any words. As soon as she was gone Claire smacked Charlie in the back of the head causing laughter from Liam.
"What they bloody hell was that for?" Charlie asked rubbing the back of his head.
"That. For upsetting her." Claire winded.
"She didn't leave cause I upset her…"
"She left cause that upset her." He finished pointing to Sarah and Jack across the way.
They sat silent and ate as they watched the couple became more heated. Something must have really pissed one of them off. Nobody really knew what it was.
Soon the fight was so out of hand that Jack got up and began to head out. Not before Sarah got up and headed after him. She began pleading with him and then yelling at him to come back to her. They all looked away as they flew past them. As they past they watched them walk out the same way Kate did. Charlie and Claire knew he deserved better.
Walking down the hallway Kate came to her room. Stopping at her door she rested her forehead up against it. She felt almost as bad as she had the night before. She began to question if she really had the strength to stay and watch this.
Letting it go for a moment she pulled out her key and went to unlock her door.
"Kate."
She stopped as soon as she heard that voice. Closing her eyes she fought her self not to turn around, but she had to. Turning she saw him coming down the hallway with her of course right behind him.
Dropping her hand from the doorknob she waited as he walked up to her. Still she looked back and forth seeing the disgusted look upon Sarah's face.
"Jack we need to get back to our room sweetheart." She smiled trying to come off nice to Kate.
"Go a head. I need to talk to Kate." Jack told her as he turned, giving her the cold shoulder.
It was hard for her to take the hint. Kate watched as Sarah glared at Jack then her as she walked down the hall. She made it to her and Jack's room and stopped. Stopped to watch him. To watch what they might do.
"Jack…" Kate said looking back up to him.
"I just wanted to say you looked nice tonight."
Kate looked away blushing.
"You do too.' Kate said looking him up and down quickly.
No words came from either of them for a moment. Jack stood smiling and honest smile as Kate smiled nervously back. This was suddenly awkward for her.
"Goodnight Kate." He whispered taking her in his arms.
Kate didn't know what to do. She almost melt from just his touch. So she did only what she could. Wrapping her arms around his neck she pulled him close. They way he smelled almost made her collapsed. And his breath upon her neck made her weak in the knees. There was no way he felt the same way she thought.
But he did. He felt like crying. And he was about to. The feel of her body against his made him feel somehow complete. Like nothing could ruin that moment. It was theirs. But in reality it wasn't.
Both felt Sarah's eyes digging into their bodies. Trying to pull them apart. Cursing them without breath. Opening her eyes, Kate saw her standing there. With her hands on her hips, in aggravation. It was time to break away.
"Goodnight Jack." Kate whispered unwilling pulling back.
She could look up to him as she rested her hands to her side. Not until his lips came to her cheek. Gracing her skin with a goodnight kiss. A kiss that left her breath less without touching her lips. With a gentle laugh he gave her a wink as turned to face his wife.
Kate brought her hand to her cheek protecting it like she had that time on the island. She couldn't move. She was too afraid to. So she stood and watched him walk carefree down the hallway to meet his wife.
As he did Sarah simply opened the door and let him in. When he walked past her Sarah's stare turned to Kate. Kate dropped her hand to her side feeling edgy with her sudden stare. Glaring at her as long as possible, Sarah left her with a shake of her head as she followed Jack into their room.
Kate jumped as the door slammed. For a minute she stood there staring in a daze down the hallway. Swallowing hard she slowly turned to unlock her door. Opening it she quickly headed in closing the door behind her. Waiting what was going to come that night.
Jack walked into his room without a thought or remorse for Sarah behind him. He came in and immediately getting the eye from his mother. He shook his head and looked away telling her to leave it alone. She kept her mouth shut and looked past him to Sarah. Seeing what was about to happen she simply glanced up to Jack and then back to the TV.
Hearing the door slam behind him, Jack turned around to see Sarah standing there. She lowered her hand to her side taking a deep breath to calm her self. Her jaw clenched as she glared at him giving him the hint.
"What in the hell was that?" She questioned.
"What was what?"
Barbara picked up the remote and turned off the TV. Turning she looked to both of them not wanting to miss a moment of this.
"Everything. You staring at her at dinner and then that little incident at her door. Come on Jack! You know what" Sarah yelled.
Jack rolled his eyes not believing Sarah was taking him hanging around with Kate so seriously.
"I can't believe this Sarah. You are getting all hot an bothered over me talking to Kat-"
"No Jack! I am hot and bother over you kissing her-"
"On the cheek. Is that so harmful?" Jack asked.
"Yes it is when you're married!" She yelled.
"Married huh?"
"Yes Jack we're married. Or have you forgot?" She questioned.
"I did after we separated two weeks before I went to Australia to pick up my father. And I almost forgot that I got on a plane, which crashed and stranded me on and island for nine months." Jack explained.
Sarah said nothing as she walked up to Jack. Looking up to him tears welled up into eyes. He didn't know if they were real or fake. Was she trying to put on an act? He really began to think so as she rested her hands against his chest.
"I thought time alone on that island would help you change your mind." Sarah whimpered.
Jack took her hands in his. A smile came over her face, but soon disappeared as he dropped them in front of her.
"But I wasn't alone and I never had time to think."
"Not since I was the one person that was their chance between life and death." Jack said.
"They actually trusted you as a doctor?" Barbara asked.
Jack looked back to her with fire in his eyes. Sarah already fueled him and now his mother was on his case again about his medial skills. He knew the comment was another underlined comment about his father.
"You can't tell me there wasn't one time you didn't think about me." Sarah challenged.
Jack turned back to her lowering the rage in his eyes to pity. Pity that this woman was so desperate to get him back that she was throwing up anything to get back with him. Suddenly he realized this wasn't what he wanted.
"Never." He whispered in her face.
"Not once."
"Not when I was reviving them, not when I was trapped in some cave gasping for my last breath of air, not when I was burying those of us who died out there simply walking out in the jungle…"
"Not even when I held her while she died in my arms taking what was supposed to be last breath. Not even as I cried when she let go of my hand and I thought she was dead. Not once in those nine months." He finished looking away from her.
"So you admit you do love her?" Sarah asked.
Jack turned and outstretched his arms.
"When was this ever about me loving her?"
"Oh it's so clear to see Jack! The way you look at her. The way you talk to her. The way you left me in the middle of the night after we had sex to go give her that stupid toy airplane. It's all about that!" She screamed.
Jack stood silent for a minute staring at her. Just taking in all she was trying to throw up at him. She really didn't know what she wanted, he thought. But this fight brought to mind what he wanted. Finally he knew.
"I want a divorce."
Sarah's eyes became wide.
"Wh-what?" She questioned choking back tears that were apparent in her eyes.
"I said I want a divorce Sarah. Something I should have gotten nine months ago."
She quickly became strong with his words as she approached him.
"You only want one so you can go and be with her." Sarah shot back hoping to break his thought.
"She has nothing to do with this and you know it. So stop bringing her into this." Jack warned.
"Oh, but she has everything to do with it. If you had realized that you were still married when you were stuck there you would have had the guts to tell her to back off. And we wouldn't be here right now talking about it. We'd be lying in bed together and she'd be another blur in your memory like the rest of those losers you supposablly saved!" She screamed in his face.
Jack didn't yell back. He didn't roll his eyes. He just slowly walked up to her and took a deep breath.
"It's over."
With that he walked past heading towards the door. She knew where he was going.
"Jack!" She called.
He continued to the door. Turning the knob he looked back to her without remorse once again. She stood there crying begging him to come back, but he wasn't. Not this time. Lowering his head he opened the door and walked out.
There was no feeling of anything in his body as he walked down the hallway. He didn't even flinch when he heard the door to his room open.
"Jack get back here!" His mother's demanded.
Slowly he turned around rolling his eyes.
"No mother. Not this time."
She closed the door behind her and walked up to him.
"You go in there now and apologi-"
"What part of no don't you two get? I don't want to be married to her anymore." Jack explained.
"Do you think you can anyone better then her? After what you did to your father?" Barbara questioned.
"She'll never be as good as Sarah is. Sarah is perfect for you and you love her."
Now she was bringing Kate into this and his father. He was tired of this being about Kate and his father. She had nothing to do with it and neither did Christian. This was his decision.
"I don't love her. And I never did."
He left her with those words and turned away. Heading down the hall.
"You are just like your father!" Barbara screamed before going back into the room and slamming the door behind her.
Kate's feet scuffled across the concrete as she walked between the lounge chairs place around the pool area. She felt suddenly free from everything and now she truly was. Her daze was with ground as she wondered aimlessly. Looking up to the pool she gazed at water lit up by the blue lights on the bottom.
As her eyes wondered around the edge she spotted him sitting there. Alone. Over the edge with his feet kicking back and forth in the water. For a moment she thought not to interrupt him, but thoughts soon change as he set down a bottle of alcohol next to him. Something was wrong.
"There you are." She spoke announcing herself.
He sat up perfectly strait before looking over his shoulder to her. A sloppy smile placed itself across his lips.
"Could say the same thing about you."
"What?" She questioned coming next to him.
"I came to your room looking for you." He explained as he watched her sit down next to him.
She took off her shoes and joined him by sticking her feet in the water.
"Well there was a little ordeal…." She began looking away with an uneasy smile.
"Oh yeah?" He asked wanting her to continue putting the bottle to his mouth.
Kate stalled watching oddly as he took a drink.
"The FBI came and arrested me." She announced.
Jack's eyes became wide. He wanted to say something, but she stopped him before he could.
"They knocked on my door and put up against the wall and cuffed me. As they led me out through the lobby Hurley came up."
"Hurley?" Jack asked.
"When he saw me he came up and said he'd pay my bail no matter what it was." She finished.
"And how much was it?"
"Half a million." Kate nearly whispered.
Jack was surprised by how high it was. He was also surprised when he found out she was with the marshal. He even had to admit he was taken back that had murdered someone. Still he knew he shouldn't say something to upset her.
"Hurley's good like that." Jack smiled handing Kate the bottle.
He kinda took that she might once some. And she did. She took it from him and put it to her mouth. Taking a huge gulp she let it settle in her mouth before she swallowed.
"Yeah." She smiled putting the bottle to her mouth again.
"So they let you off the hook like that?"
"Well they said I was dismissed from the charges that put me on the run, but I have to pay some fine for other things I did and go to some court hearings and things like that over what I did when I was on the run. But it doesn't matter I'm free." Kate explained looking out to the water as she kicked it with her feet.
Again Jack wanted to know what she did. So bad he almost opened his mouth to ask, but he told himself it was her choice to tell him if and when she wanted to. Instead of speaking he took the bottle from her and took a swig.
"So why were you looking for me?" Kate asked looking over to him.
"I ended it." He choked swallowing the alcohol.
"Ended what?"
He turned and looked her strait in the eyes. No tears no regret.
"My marriage."
Kate gasped slightly as the words hit her. He actually did it. He walked away. She couldn't believe it. She saw Jack as one of those men who stayed with a woman no matter what. She was wrong.
"I'm so sorry Jack." Was all she could say.
She was so happy, yet sad for Jack. He seemed to torn up about it. At least that was how she thought he felt until he looked to her with a huge smile.
"It's ok. I'm not."
"I'm free now too.' He whispered looking out over the water kicking it up like she had.
The two became silent. This time it was that silence that healed them. That comforted them. That let them know they weren't alone.
Kate didn't think as she rested her hand on his leg. Rubbing it back and forth. Telling him without words that she was there for him. He said nothing to her gesture. Just simply put his over her and stopped it in place.
Scooting over, Kate came close to him. Without looking or speaking Jack picked up the bottle that separated them and sat it to his side. Wrapping his arm around her, he pulled her closer to him. Feeling comfortable she rested her head on his shoulder and with a deep breath she was at peace again. No beach needed.
They both truly felt at peace for once. No family or past problems to ruin it. Just them. Still with the questions of his marriage and her freedom out of the way, they still had to question of them. Of what was next. It wasn't a worry at that moment. They were back on track. And with a sigh from both they pushed it all out of their minds.
"Hell of a way to spend our first days back." He sighed.