I'm back! WOOHOOOOO! ...anyways, I spent the last few days working on this chapter. I'm really worried about how i wrote and came across it. I really hope you guys like it! Enjoy!
Fights for Happy Moments
Kate ditched the ride with Claire and Charlie. Since she didn't have a car she took the bus. She wanted to be alone and away from the others. This was none of their business and she didn't want them having any part of it.
She sat in the back of the bus in the last seat. Her head turned from the other people as she sobbed thinking of Jack's words.
"I was wondering if there could be something between us?"
"I won't hurt you."
It wasn't fact of him hurting her. It was her hurting him. She had never had luck with men. She had always screwed something up. She ran from Ryan. Too scared of her own feelings. With Jason there was no love only deception. She just wanted to use him. Then there was Tom. The only man she loved unconditionally with nothing in return. She ruined that by running and then his murder.
Thoughts of Tom brought on more tears. This was the first time in a long while she had thought about him. Her mind was so preoccupied with the hearings, finding a job, and supporting Jack that she never had time to let her self fall again. And that was just what she was doing. She was falling.
Thinking more about it she really didn't know why she was crying. Of course she was upset, but why? Jack asked her out and she turned him down. It wasn't hurting her. It was more hurting him, which is the whole reason why she denied him. She had done what she swore not to do.
That thought and feeling sent her into uncontrollable sobs. She tried her best to stop or cover it up but she couldn't. Soon looks were passed her way causing her to hide her face. A slight tap on her shoulder sent her upright in an instant. She looked over through her tears to see a small woman sitting beside her. Worry written all over her wrinkled face.
"Are you ok sweetheart?"
Kate froze wondering why this woman even cared. She was some crazy girl in the back of the bus crying.
"Yeah." Kate assured her sniffing back her tears.
"Are you sure?"
Kate nodded her head wiping her hand across her face.
"Well whatever he did he's not worth it." The woman smiled.
Not even the woman's lighthearted smile could convince her. It wasn't what he had done. It was what she had done. The things in her past that haunted her ever step and waking breath. The things that brought them together and drew them apart on the island. And now she was breaking his heart.
Jack was worth it. He was worth everything and she didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve to be happy with him. If they could ever be happy. That was an emotion she'd never truly feel again.
Making it home, Kate was completely exhausted. She wondered into her room and instantly collapsed on her bed. Rolling over atop her pillow she fell drowsiness come over her. She wondered if she would get sleep that night. All that had happened clouded her judgment and thought.
She lay perfectly still staring at the wall wondering where'd she be if she had said yes. Would she be out at to dinner at some fancy restaurant or lying in his arms? She missed the comfort of his arms. She missed his presence when it was no farther then an arm away. This is what she had chosen. To not let herself get involved. But was it really what she wanted?
Before she could clear her mind of any thought to answer her own questions her eyes drifted close sending her into an instant sleep.
Her eyes shot open with a sound. She jumped up at the sound of pounding. She sat against her bed for a moment wondering what it was. Was it her head or the door? It came again and she realized it was the door. Throwing her covers off her body she slid over the side of the bed. As her feet came to the floor she jumped back hearing her named shouted as the pounding came again.
Someone was at the door and seriously wanted her attention. They had gotten it. As she wondered down the hall closer to her door she was slow and cautious. She didn't know the voice. It didn't sound familiar at all.
"KATE OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW!"
Hearing the violent command she became scared. Stopping at the edge of the hallway she searched around for some sort of protection. Looking behind the door she saw the fire extinguisher. Tiptoeing across the room she slowly pulled it off the wall.
The minute it was in her hand the person pounded again screaming for her to open the door. With a deep breath she clutched the doorknob and prepared to open it. As the latch clicked back the person on the other side came rushing through sending Kate back against the wall.
She looked up bewildered to see a cop standing in front of her with a gun pointed at her. Suddenly she became confused. She had no idea what was going on.
"Kate your under arrest."
"Wh…what? I was cleared." Kate stuttered as tears came to her eyes.
"Thought you could get away so easy? Crashing a plane so you could start a new life and make new friends. Running ain't going to help you now Katie."
"I didn't crash the plane. What are you talking about?" Kate questioned.
"Get up!" He ordered pointing the gun inches from her face.
Kate was hesitant. She had no idea why this man was saying she crashed the plane. She was cuffed to the seat during the flight. How could she have crashed a huge jet plane? It was ludicrous to think she did it. She had no idea how it crashed and neither did anyone else.
"Now!" He ordered grabbing her by the arm and forcing her to her feet.
She stumbled with the weight of the extinguisher in her hand. Then she realized she had a weapon. She had a chance to get away. Where would she go though? It didn't matter. All that mattered was she wasn't going to go back to jail. Not this time.
With the flex of her arm she put all her weight into hitting him hard in the nose. The man flew back in pain sending him to the floor. As he covered his face with his hands Kate was free and she took the opportunity.
Fleeing out the door she ran as fast as she could down the hallway. Looking over her shoulder she saw no one behind her. She was in the clear till she bumped into another body. Both nearly fell down the stair till the man caught her in his arms. She was done for.
"Kate?"
Her heart stopped at the voice. Slowly she turned her head and looked up to see Jack.
"Jack!" She exclaimed in a shocked whisper.
He said nothing as he helped her to her feet. His eyes wondered down the hall toward her apartment.
"Why are you running?"
That was the dumbest question he could have asked her. Why was she always running? Since Ethan was dead and there were no polar bears in LA the only obvious answer was her past.
"I need your car."
"What? Why?" He questioned.
"No time to explain." She told him glancing back down the hallway.
When her eyes turned back to his she saw the intense question in his eyes. A question she didn't even know if she had the answer to.
"Now!' She yelled grabbing his arm and leading him down the stairs.
He led her out the parking garage where his car was parked. He walked up to a silver BMW and stopped at the driver door. She went for the handle, but was stopped by his hand. Her eyes slowly wondered up to him.
"Tell me why you're running."
"I can't." She whispered standing up strait.
"Let me help you." He begged.
"No." She replied struggling with him.
He took control and stood in front of the door. Kate seemed to give up as she stood back.
"Let me in the car Jack!" She breathed.
"No! Not till you tell me…." He began to plead.
"Don't make me hurt you Jack."
"You can't hurt me." He challenged.
She was taken back by this.
"You don't know what I'm capable of." She warned.
"Yes I do."
She took a deep breath realized this was going to go nowhere without force. She didn't want it to come to that, but if she had to she would.
"Jack please."
"No."
With his answer she clenched up her fist and readied herself. Without a second thought she swung at Jack hitting his hard it the jaw. He lost his stance and stumbled to the ground. With a free shot Kate lunged for the door. Opening it she got in and slammed the door before Jack could recover.
Franticly looking around for the keys she realized he had them and probably wouldn't give them to her. She'd have to go the hard way and hot wire. Taking a pocketknife Jack had oddly laying in plain sight she stabbed it into the dashboard. Pulling back she cracked the frame and began to pull it apart.
As soon as she got it all uncovered the passenger door opened. Looking over she felt somewhat relieved that it was Jack. She stopped and watched him as he slid in, sat down, and closed the door. Glancing away she pulled out the necessary wired and went to work.
"What are you doing?' He asked in an odd calming voice.
"Hotwiring."
"Where did you learn to hotwire cars?"
"When you're on the run you pick up a couple things. Now be quiet so I can remember how to do this." She barked.
A jingling sound caught her attention. Turning her head she looked over to see him dangling his keys in front of her. He was taunting her. Looking up to him she saw no trickery in his eyes. He seemed to be offering them to her freely. But she wasn't sure. Maybe she should have tested the waters. She didn't have time for that. She plunged in headfirst.
Grabbing for the keys he let then slip through his fingers and land in hers. With no second thought she put them in and started it up. Pulling out she looked behind and around her for any followers of office gun happy.
She slowly made her way down the levels. As she came to the exit she stopped the car. Eyeing the outside world she took a deep breath.
"Kate please don't run." He begged again.
She didn't look to him.
"Get out of the car Jack."
"No." He refused.
Gripping the steering wheel she revved the engine. She was ready to make her escape with Jack or not.
Before she could take off two police cars came racing to the entrance blocking her way out. Loosening her grip she watched in fear as they got out and drew their guns. This was how it happened before. This was how Tom died. Now Jack was in the passenger seat. She wasn't going to let it happen to Jack.
"Jack get out now!" She ordered staring down the cops as they yelled for her to step out.
"No." He said again.
Slowly looking away from the cops she saw Tom's murder flash before her eyes. In an instant she passed the cops as they shot at her killing Tom. Looking over Jack reappeared. She wasn't going to let it happen again. And Jack obvious wasn't going to get out of the car.
"Then duck!" She yelled as she slammed her foot on the gas, heading strait for the cops.
As the guns fired Kate pushed Jack down in his seat as she tried to maneuver the car and protect herself. Jumping the car over and past the cops she was on open road again. Speeding up as fast as she can she thought that maybe she had made it. Then she remembered how this had happened last time.
Taking a deep breath she looked over to Jack seeing him huddled in the seat not moving. Her heart stopped. Looking between the road and Jack she reached her hand out.
"Jack?" She questioned in worry.
He slowly sat up with his eyes looking around for safety. Seeing him sit up sent joy through her.
"Thank god your all right." She laughed looking back to the road.
"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked with obvious fear.
Kate didn't answer. She was quickly caught by a figure slowly walking along the street it was so oddly familiar. He was tall and lean wearing a dirty button up black shirt. His hair was an unrecognizable color. Oddly to her own power she slowed down to see who it was. As he passed the car he smiled the widest grin. Kate's eyes went wide as her heart sank to her stomach. There was no way.
"Sawyer." She whispered.
In the instant she realized who it was gunshots riddled through the windshield. Turning her attention back she saw a huge blockade in front of her. Her eyes glanced from side to side looking for another way out. A small opening to her left screamed for her.
Building up all her guts once again she pressed on the gas going up to full speed. As she neared the blockade more gunshots were fired. Lowering her head enough to maybe get grazed she steered her way around them.
Slamming in between two cars she quickly took down three men. Rushing past she looked back to see what attempts they were making to follow her. That was an instant mistake. She was jerked back and forth as the car came to a quick stop.
Opening her eyes she felt pain across her head. Looking through the window all she saw was gray concrete. She had hit the wall. It was only going to be a matter of seconds before they came rushing up with guns.
Sitting up she tried to gather herself. What had she done the last time? Her breath was caught in an instant thinking about the last time. Suddenly she remembered Jack. Closing her eyes she dwelled into deep prayer. Begging God to let him be ok.
Opening her eyes God had let her down once again.
Jack was hunched over the dashboard with his head inches from the glass. His face wasn't visible, but she didn't need to see it for her to know it wasn't good.
Scooting over she grabbed his shoulders. Slowly and gently she pulled him back so he was sitting in the seat. Seeing his face she quickly let go of him as her hands came to her mouth. He was almost unrecognizable. His face covered in blood from wounds on his head, lips, and chin. Seeing him she didn't know what to do. All she could do was hope he was alive.
Leaning in to look him over all she pushed herself to believe he was just knocked out. That he was ok. That hope was quickly shredded when she didn't hear or feel his warm breath on her skin. Tears welled up in her eyes trying to think of what to do. The truth was she didn't know. She wasn't the doctor he was.
Lightly touching his face she examined his cuts. They weren't extremely bad, but they weren't good. Suddenly she heard the sirens of the police cars speeding up to the crash. Looking up from Jack she saw them stopping only feet away from the car.
"Jack." She called running her finger over his lips hoping her touch would give him breath.
There was no breath.
"Please wake up!" She demanded shaking his shoulder lightly.
He didn't wake.
"God dammit Jack you know I don't know CPR!" She screamed again touch his lips with vigor.
Again no breath and no movement. Still she wasn't going to give up hope. He had to be alive. She didn't care anymore about her freedom. He was her priority now.
"Please." She cried leaning her forehead into his lips.
She repeated her plea over and over again as her hands slinked down his face and neck to rest loosely upon his chest. When her fingertips came to the shirts material she pulled back in horror. Raising her hand she saw blood dripping down her fingers. She began to shake, as her eyes became unfocused and darted to Jack's chest.
She stared at a pool of blood his shirt that wasn't doing a good of job of soaking up. Quickly she grabbed hold of his collar and ripped the shirt in two. Seeing her demise she gripped the sides of his torn shirt tightly in her hands. He had been shot right above the heart. Just like Tom.
"No." She whispered.
"No."
"No."
"NO!" She yelled falling into his chest.
The tears she held back came out in an instant. She had killed him like she had killed Tom. She took his life into her sad piteous hands and did what she wanted. She had taken his life from him. Not just then, but from the moment she walked up to him that fateful day in the jungle. She shouldn't have sewed him up. She should have turned and left him there. Left him to survive on his own the way she always did. She shouldn't have let him in.
Soon their yells and commands surrounded the car as she wept into Jack's chest. She didn't listen. She just sat there crying and pleading to Jack that she was sorry. But he couldn't answer her. He couldn't forgive her. He was gone and she knew that. Deep down in her pity and sorrow she knew she had lost Jack.
As the door opened behind her their yells came louder and more forceful. They could have beaten her, but she wouldn't let go of him. She wasn't going to give up as easily as she did with Tom. She wasn't going to run from his death. She was trying to confront it the best she could. But now all she could was cry.
They gripped her leg and tried to pull her free from Jack. She wouldn't budge. She hung onto him the best she could. But her best wasn't good enough. They turned her around. As her face was turned upright it was turned with a quick painful thrust upon her cheek as they hit her. Grabbing her cheek with her free hand she tired to look back, but was stuck again with such force as she saw was a white light.
Her eyes shot open to darkness. Her breath was short and panicked.
Where was she?
Her eyes focused in the darkness. Slowly she made out the ceiling above her. Still she was scared and had no idea where she was.
Was this jail?
Or could it be hell?
Questioning her own existence she slowly sat up. Expecting pain, she felt relieved that there was none. She remembered being hit in the face and seeing the white light, but there was no pain.
Had she been out that long?
The moment she glanced around the room it all became clear. This was her room not a jail cell. It made no since. Looking down she saw she wore the same clothes she had when fell asleep. Dwelling upon it she didn't really remember falling asleep. The more and more it all came together she realized it had all been a dream. A dream that was too realistic for her to pass off as nothing.
It seemed so real. The fear of being arrested again. Right down to Jack dying. Focusing on that instance she put herself back in that position. Jack lying there in front of her. Breathless. Not moving. It was the most scared she had ever felt. And it was dream.
Taking a deep breath she calmed herself as she still thought about it. Slowly she slinked back down in her bed under the covers. Rolling onto her side she stared at the wall picturing him dying in her arms. In that moment she realized without him she felt alone.
Kate tried her best to move past her dream and regretful feelings of turning Jack down. She didn't like the way she was making herself feel. Most of all she hated thinking about how she was making Jack feel. Still with that looming in the back of her mind she pressed on. She had a wedding in a week and she was going to do her best to life her life.
It wasn't as easy for Jack. He couldn't look past it. Her words plagued him. He thought almost every moment about what it would have been like if she had said yes. But that wasn't the case. She said no. No to the hope that maybe they could be happy for once. Together. Obviously it wasn't meant to happen. He wasn't meant for that happiness.
Still he tried his best to move past it and let bygones be bygones. This was how it was supposed to be. Once they were off the island they were supposed to go their separate ways. Some moments he questioned why he was letting himself think this way. He had never believed in fate before. Why was he now? He had no answer to that question or any he was asking himself. All he knew was that he wished she had said yes.
Kate walked through the chapel with Christopher in her arms. She was rushing around trying to get everything together in time. It soon came to the boiling point. She was stressing out. Not necessarily over the wedding. More so over a possible run in with Jack.
When she woke up that morning she promised herself she'd put her game face on and head out with her head held high. But the day was getting the best off her. Her head couldn't take it anymore.
"You have the flowers all set up right?" She questioned adjusting Christopher on her hip.
"Well they are coming I shortly. You see….." The man began to explained.
Kate's attention suddenly became caught seeing Jack walk down the hall. Coming to a mirror he stopped and adjusted his tie. Just the mere sight of him caught up her breath and thought. She hoped he wouldn't have seen her that day. Trying to avoid him all day wasn't going to work and she knew that. They had to walk down the isle together. What was going to do? Run away?
It was a thought that passed across her mind. It sank in even more as he turned and spotted her. With no words or break of the glance he headed towards her.
"They'll be here in the hou-"
"Thank you. Just make sure they're here." Kate demanded the man as she glanced over his shoulder watching Jack.
The man gave her a disgusted look realizing she heard not a word her said. As he walked away she became in full view to Jack. A thousand choices ran through her mind, but only one stuck out.
Quickly she turned and began for the dressing room. The instant she thought maybe she was in the clear she felt his arm upon her's. He had her.
"Kate?"
"Yeah?" She asked slowly turning around.
"Can we talk?" He asked.
She didn't want to talk and he knew it.
"I can't I have to go take Christopher and then get the flow-"
"Please." He begged.
She couldn't say no. The word wouldn't form on her lips and she couldn't moved her head in the direction she wanted. She gave in.
"Sure." She whispered nodding her head.
Letting go of her arm he placed it lightly on her back as he led her down the hallway to a quiet place. The whole time he walked behind her he played her rejection over and over in his mind. He swore he wouldn't let it end like that again. He hated how they were avoiding each other. Still he knew it was enviable, but he had to try his best to make things right.
"Kate I am so sorry about the other day."
"It's ok." She smiled weakly swallowing her tears.
"No it's not. The way I came on and left things was wrong. I don't know what I was thinking." He continued.
She began to get sick to her stomach knowing he was blaming himself for all of this. It wasn't his fault. She said no. She was the one with the problem. Not him.
"Jack-"
"No let me finish. I know what you've been through. Well not exactly. But I know you've been through a lot and a lot of people hurt you. And I am sorry and wish I could take back all the horrible things that happened to you, but I can't and I know that…"
"You can't let what they did ruin your life."
"It isn't that at all." She whispered looking up to him with tears rolling down her cheeks.
He looked to her for continuance. If he had it all wrong he wanted to know the real reason. The reason why she couldn't let him in.
"So much has happened to us. Together and apart. There is so much that we went though together. Trying to survive. Yet it doesn't even compare to the life we had before us trying to survive alone. That's what separates us Jack."
"But you can't let the people who hurt you before make you stop from trying no-"
"I'm not afraid of being hurt!' She cried.
He stepped back with her words. She had just changed her whole reasoning in a second without thought. It made him wonder.
"I am afraid of hurting you…" She began looking away trying to gather her thoughts.
"I'm not who you're supposed to be with Jack. I'm a criminal for Christ sake. Criminals aren't supposed to be with heroes or doctors."
He blinked away his own tears as he leaned in close to her. He couldn't believe she thought this way about herself. He almost couldn't take it. He wanted to make her forget about all of it, but he knew he couldn't. She had to do it on her own.
"You can't hurt me." He whispered.
She closed her eyes with his words. Images of her dream flashed before her. He sounded just as he had in her dream. For a minute she believed him. Then she remembered how the dream ended. Her laying in his chest sobbing over his death. She couldn't bear the thought. She couldn't bear to think these were the same words Tom had said to her. She ended up hurting him. Taking his life. That wasn't a dream. It was the reality she saw every day.
"You don't know that Jack." She said looking up to him.
He took as deep breath looking away. In a sense he felt she was selfish. He realized and understood she wanted to get over things in her past, but she wasn't even trying. She wouldn't even let him try and help her. And he couldn't wait around forever for her to decide when she wanted to move on. He had no other choice in that moment. He had to walk away.
"If this is how you want it to be Kate…." His eyes danced with fury as he looked down to her.
"Then I'm just going to let you be."
As his last word left his mouth he turned and walked away. Leaving her sand in the shadows of the hallway holding Christopher. She said nothing as she watched him walk down the hallway. Out of her sight and maybe out of her life.
She had no emotion. She stood against the wall in silence as she looked into the space in front of her in a daze.
Did he mean it?
She didn't know anymore. There was finally no answer in her head. Only questions. Sniffing back her tears she gripped Christopher as she pushed off the wall. Holding him close as he became fussy she walked in a daze like state. Past everyone and everything in the world around. She had no feeling in that moment. No more tears to shed. It was if she had no remorse for his words.
Walking into the dressing room she snapped out of it for an instant as she walked up to Claire. Standing the mirror in her beautiful dress. It almost made her cry to see at least one person happy. Handing Christopher to her she flashed her a weak smile as she headed on. Turning from her she slipped back into her emotionless daze.
Sun looked to Claire and Claire to her. They had seen the drying tears upon her face. Something was wrong. Both turned to Kate watching her head into the backroom and close the door silently behind. No explanation.
"Was she crying?" Claire asked.
"I don't know."
Both looked back to the closed door waiting fro Kate reappear and explain everything. That was a highly unlikely possibility and they knew that. Kate never spilled her guts to them. She only talked to Jack.
"I'll go talk to he-"
"You know she won't tell us anything. Go get Jack." Sun suggested.
Walking over Claire handed the baby to Sun.
"No. I have a feeling it's about Jack…" Claire sighed as she turned and headed for the back room.
Kate lay huddled on the plush red couch sitting in the corner of the room. She didn't cry. She only sulked. Thanking about what she had done. If she ever doubted it being her fault at first she was totally reassured now.
There was a knock at the door that sent Kate up strait.
"Kate?" Claire's voice called.
"Can I come in?"
"Yeah." Kate replied fixing her self up to try and pass off as "ok".
Opening the door Claire gave her a warm hearted smile as she walked in. Closing it behind her she walked over and sat across from Kate in silence hoping she would start first.
Kate didn't want to talk. She never liked telling other people her problems. If it wasn't their business they shouldn't care. She could always deal with it.
"You look beautiful." Kate smiled breaking the tension.
"Thanks."
Kate fell silent again as she played with her dress. She began to feel awkward under Claire's stare.
"Are you ok sweetheart?" Claire asked tucking a piece of hair behind Kate's ear.
"Yeah fine." She lied.
"Why?"
Claire could see the unwillingness in her eyes. Anyone could. She didn't want to let someone know she was vulnerable. The only one who had ever got her to open up or even get close was Jack.
"Well you looked like you were crying when you came in." Claire pointed out.
"Oh I was?" Kate asked wiping away her missed tears.
Claire's face fell seeing how she attempted to pass it off. She really didn't want to talk about it and she was fighting hard to keep it that way.
"You know if you have anything you want to talk ab-"
"Claire I'm fine. Please don't worry about me on your big day." Kate tried to assured her.
"You're fine? Honestly?" Claire asked hoping if she pushed one last time she'd give in.
It wasn't that easy.
"Yes. Honestly." Kate assured her once more with a fake smile upon her lips.
As Claire stood up she stared at her in an odd way. Looking her over. Making sure of something in her head.
"Well ok then…"
"Just don't be in here too long. I need you to lead me down the isle in about an hour." Claire joked as she turned.
"I won't."
Claire opened the door and headed out. As the door closed in front of her, Kate slowly fell back to couch to sulk again. As her head hit the velvet material all her hidden tears came out.
Everyone entered the chapel and the wedding party lined up in front of the sanctuary. Claire fiddled with her wedding dress nervously. Sun helped with some kind words before Hurley led her up to the front behind Liam's daughter Megan who was the flower girl.
Claire was more nervous then she thought she'd be. Kate was nowhere to be seen. She had less then two minuets before the doors opened and she walked down the isle. She wasn't about to do it without Kate.
Claire quickly felt better as Liam's wife came walking up. She had been sent to go find Kate.
"You find her?" Claire asked.
"No." She answered.
"No one has seen her." She continued.
"I just saw her." Claire sighed.
"Who?" Jack asked as he walked up.
Claire nearly jumped hearing his voice. Slowly she turned to him.
"Kate."
"Kate? She's missing?" Jack questioned.
He had worry running through his mind.
"Not missing. We just can't find her."
With Claire's words he knew he had to be the cause of this. If he wouldn't had been so harsh with her she'd probably be standing there with them. Instead of running off to hide.
"I'll go and find he-"
"Find who?" Kate's voice questioned behind them.
All of them turned to see her walking up with blank curiosity on her face. It worried Jack, but relieved the others. It relieved Claire more to see she had her bouquet in her hands.
"Where have you been?" Claire questioned instantly taking the flowers from her.
"I had to freshen up. What were you worried I wouldn't show?"
'Yes." Claire breathed.
"I told you I'd be here." Kate smiled reassuring her.
That smile soon disappeared as Kate walked up to Jack. She felt instantly weak under his intense gazer. It pierced her through the heart with a million questions.
"You ready?" Jack asked extending his arm out.
Kate was hesitant. She didn't know how to react around him now.
"I can get some one else to do it if you don't want me to."
His words hurt her deeply. Just because she didn't want to let him in didn't mean she didn't want him around.
"I want you to." She whispered slipping her arm through his.
A smile grew over his face as he patted her hand. Maybe it was all going to be ok. Then again something always happened. But for that moment he wasn't going to let it happen. That moment they were happy with each other and he wasn't going to ruin it.
Looking away from each other they both took deep breaths. Quickly turning around Kate gave Claire a wink and a smile before turning back. As the doors opened they began their walk down the isle.
That seemed to be the longest walk of their lives. At least it was for Kate. After what had happened that moment and what Claire had said, Jack walking her down the isle got to her. She really didn't know why, but it was.
Looking up as she held back her tears. The altar seemed so far way. Charlie and the minister looked so small to her, yet they were so close. Coming up to him she was caught by his eager smile. It caused her to burst out into laughter filled coated with tears.
Her breath again was caught as Jack took her hand out from under his arm. Holding onto it he brought her in front of him so he could walk her over to Sun. He stopped seeing her tears.
"Are you ok?"
"It's just the overwhelming since of the wedding." She smiled wiping her tears.
He gave her a smile as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. Before he turned and joined Charlie he gave her a reassuring wink. Watching him she saw his own tears rolling down his cheek. She had to smile at his sad attempt to hide it as she turned from her and came to Charlie's side.
All attention was caught as the music began and the doors opened again. All eyes quickly lit up as Claire began down the isle. There were breathless aw-s as everyone watched her walk. Kate thought she had been crying before hand. Seeing her best friend as beautiful as she could be on probably her happiest day sent her into uncontrollable sobs.
Wiping her tears away she remembered Jack and looked over to see if he too was crying. When she looked over she caught his glance before he quickly turned it back to Claire. There were obvious tears rolling down his cheeks. She had to smile again at his attempt. His attempt to pretend he wasn't looking.
Looking away Kate saw Charlie. She saw him in a way she had never seen before. He couldn't stop his tears as he wiped them away. With his tears his face was lit up with a smile from ear to ear. This was the happiest she had ever seen him. Besides the time Claire wondered back into their lives. She felt right knowing everyone in that room was happy.
When Claire approached them it took every fiber in Charlie's being to not take him in his arms. She flashed him a pleasing smile as she turned to hand Kate her flowers. As Kate took them she encouraged her with a smile before she turned back and faced Charlie.
"We are gathered her today to join these two souls."
"The souls that have faced so much to be together today."
The minister turned to Charlie.
"Charlie you have chosen to convert to be with this woman you love."
Charlie turned and started at Claire as he smiled.
"I have."
Jack stepped up with his words as Charlie prepared to speak his vows. Handing Charlie the ring he patted him on the back before he stepped back. As he did he looked up to see Kate staring at him long and hard. Studying him rather.
Holding the ring in his hand Charlie took Claire's. It shook within his as she began to cry over her smile.
"I Charlie take thee Claire to love and honor for the rest of eternity…" He began sniffing back tears.
"Through no matter what life or fate hurls at us. You are my light. My love. And the mother of my children and I can't live without you."
Holding himself back from a breakdown he took the ring. Slowly with a smile he slid it onto her finger.
"And Claire…" The minister began turning now to her.
"You have chosen to honor Charlie with your life."
"I have." Claire whimpered with a laugh.
As did Jack, Kate took her cue and handed Claire a ring. With a smile and a thank you Claire turned back to Charlie. Taking her place again Kate felt Sun's hand on her shoulder causing her to look back. She stood with a smile that warmed Kate's heart to the soul. Raising her hand she rested it upon Sun's as she looked back to the happy couple.
"I Claire take thee Charlie to love and live with until forever is over. You saved me in every way a person can be saved. You have given me hope, serenity, and a life that we shall share."
"I love you more then you will every know. You are my life." With her last words Charlie was lost. He couldn't even hold his hand in hers he was such a mess.
Taking his hand again with a smile and laughter she slid the ring upon his finger. With the union all turned to the minister for the final words. With huge smiles upon their faces, Claire and Charlie waited for their first kiss.
"And now I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
With no hesitation they took each other in their arms and met at the lips. Joining in a loving and memorable kiss that sent chills through every person.
As they pulled apart everyone stood clapping.
"I loved you." Charlie smiled.
"I know." Claire laughed.
Grasping each other's hands they started down the isle. Kate walked over and picked Christopher up from Liam. Taking him in her arms she turned around to see Jack waiting for her with his arm extended. This time she took his arm without words. Pulling her close to him he looked down to her with a smile as they followed the newlyweds down the isle.
The reception was held out on the back patio of the chapel. It was beautifully decorated with lights strung the through the trees in the garden. Tables were scattered around the dance floor, which at the end of it had the long table where the wedding party sat.
Once the newlyweds entered the party started. People started dancing and letting themselves go. Some ate as they watched the others danced. Some wondered around talking. Others just sat and enjoyed the scenery.
Everyone expected Claire and Charlie to sit at their table and enjoy each other, but they were instantly thrown into the party. They ran around talking to everyone. Steeling kisses and glances across the room when they were separated. They truly were happy. Happier then anyone had seen a couple.
Kate had broken away from Jack. Still carrying Christopher she came to her seat at the head table. Looking around she seemed to be the only one sitting there. She really didn't mind. She had had all the excitement she could handle. Still being content, someone had to insist she have fun.
"Hello there Kate." Liam called walking up to Kate.
Kate looked up from Christopher bouncing on her knee to see Liam.
"Hey Liam." She smiled looking back to Christopher.
"You having fun being the only one sitting down?" He asked.
"Yeah looks that way doesn't it?" Kate sighed looking around seeing she was in fact the only one sitting down at the moment.
"I could take him if he's a bother."
"I'm good. Christopher's never a bother." Kate smiled.
"Come on I insist." Liam assured her.
"I'm good."
"Come on Kate you need to get up and have some fun." Liam tired to tell her.
She looked up to him with a raised eyebrow.
"Plus Megan is dying to play with her nephew."
Kate looked back to Christopher as if she was asking him what she should do. It wouldn't hurt, but then whom would she sit with?
"I guess." Kate said as she stood up.
"Lovely." Liam smiled taking the child from her arms.
"Now you need to go and have some fun." He said before walking away with Christopher.
"Fun…right?" Kate sighed in a low voice.
As if fate had heard her. She felt a tap on her shoulder. Swinging around she came to face Jack. He stood with a huge smile upon his face. A smile that confused her instantly.
"I was wondering if I could have this dance?"
Dance? She couldn't dance to save her life.
"I don't know how to." She smiled nervously.
He knew she was trying to cover up. He knew she didn't want to dance. But without a word he took her hand and began to pull her out onto the floor.
"Don't worry I don't either." He assured her.
She had no way out in that moment. The minute he took her hand and their feet hit the floor she was stuck.
Pulling her to him he placed his on his back and held her to him. She had no idea what to do. She didn't know how to stand. She felt uncomfortable for the first time in his arms. But he was of course there to the rescue. Taking her other hand he placed it on his shoulder as she stared up to him with trembling eyes. He knew question was swirling through her mind.
"You look beautiful Kate." He whispered as they began to move.
"You too. Especially when you're crying." She smiled.
"I wasn't crying."
"Yes you were. I saw you."
He looked away as he began to blush. She was right. She always caught him in a lie. It was easy for her. It was hard to do so to her. He didn't know the truth with her anymore.
It became silent between them as they danced. They didn't look to each other. Instead they looked away and around to the other people around them. They felt so awkward this close to each other. And they both knew it was because of the animosity between them.
"I'm sorry Kate."
Her eyes turned to him as he began his apology. She wanted to put in her own words, but thought it was best if she just listened.
"I am sorry what I said and how I acted. I just want to help you get ov-"
"Jack I don't need your help."
"I know that. But I hate to see that you punish yourself over what happened." He explained.
"I'm not punishing myself. I am trying to let it go. And it's harder then you think."
"I know it is Kate. I see how hard it is for you. I just wish you'd tell me so I'd know what you're going through so I don't make these mistakes."
She stared up at him with defiance. She didn't understand how he couldn't get over it all. It wasn't about him.
"This is how it always is Jack. Isn't it?" She began.
"First you don't want to know. Then you do. Then you don't. And now you do. Why can't you make up your mind?" She questioned.
"Kate…"
"I made up mine. I don't want to let you in. That is my decision and you can't change it." She breathed as she turned away.
Closing her eyes she tried again not to cry that day. But again it was too hard. He just didn't get it.
"Kate…"
She quickly turned to face him with tears and all.
"I can't do this." She cried as she pulled away.
He tried to pull her back, but she wanted away more. As their fingers left each other's touch she hurried off the floor and down the hall. He stood there for a moment wondering what to do. In a quick thought he headed after her.
Kate sat on a bench outside of the chapel. She felt good to be away from Jack, the wedding, and everything for that matter.
Opening her purse she pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Pulling one out she placed it in between her lips. With the flick of her thumb a flame from the lighter in her hand lit the cigarette. With a deep inhale she felt so much better.
This was her dirty little secret and she knew it. No one else knew. Maybe the people at her work, but none of the other survivors. They'd flip and she didn't really care. This was her small hit of freedom.
Taking another drag she lowered her hand to her side. Holding it in for the longest time she almost felt regret for letting the smoke escape her lips.
"Since when did you smoke?"
Without the cigarette that voice would have made her jump. Instead she really didn't care. Glancing over she looked up to Jack without care.
"Since I got off that hell hole and could get my hands on some." She snickered as she took another hit.
"It's not healthy." He said as he sat down next to her.
Turning she blew the smoke away from his face as she gave him a sinister smile.
"And I should care why?" She questioned.
"Kate don't do this to yourself." He begged her.
"Why do you care?"
"Cause I do." He said as he leaned closer to her.
"If you did. You wouldn't badger me every time you saw me."
He lowered her head with her hard blow. She was right. That was what he did every time he saw her.
"Kate I'm sorry."
"You've that so many times Jack. I don't know if I should believe it anymore."
"I know. This time I mean it. I hate seeing us like this." He tried to justify.
She looked over trying her best to listen to what he had to say.
"We used to be able to go to each other for anything. And now we can't look at each other without fighting."
"Can we put this all behind us?" He questioned.
He was being as honest as he could at that moment. He decided that if they couldn't be together he'd still like them to be at least friends again. It was too hard to have her angry with him.
"I can if you can let it go and quit trying to fix me."
"I will."
"You will?" She questioned.
"Only if you put that out and quit." He challenged.
Kate looked to the cigarette in her hand. She started at it for only a minute before she flicked it to the ground. If it was going to help her relationship with Jack she could do without it.
Looking back to him a smile was laid across his face. He was happy that she barely had to think about letting it go. Only he would have to the same with his questioning.
"Come here." He smiled taking her hand as he pulled her to him.
She immediately wrapped her arms around him and held him tight as he did the same. Again they felt right with each other and it had been along time since they felt that way.
"This is more like it.' Kate muffled into his neck.
All he could do was laugh as he held her in his arms.