Hermione's a what? Ch 5 Rambo Ron, a harry potter fanfic

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter. Then I would be sitting somewhere in London laughing hysterically at people's pathetic attempts at writing. But I don't and I'm not. The world is so unfair. The weak plot is mine though. It's from one of my dreams. Steal it and you die.

Ch. Four

Rambo Ron

In which there is much capitals and exclamation points

(A/N:Finally, Ron's POV! yay ive been looking forward to this...bwahaha)

Ron was in a rage. Harry had blown off all their plans to go and hang with Hermione. Every single plan. Even the elvish dancers. mmm. But not even those exellent dancers could take his mind off of Hermione. Why couldn't he get her? No, SHE was enamored with her two lovesick pets, Hairy Potty and Prince Charming.It wasnt fair! Just because Ron wasnt on the Teen Wizard hottie list (HARRY was, of course) doesn't mean he wasnt good enough! But...if Ron ELIMINATED the competition, Hermione would finally see his sexyness. (A/N: hahahaha Ron...sexy? hahahahha) Dammit he WOULD have Hermione for his own. Even if he had to hurt his FORMER best friend, Harry. (A/N: dum dum dum!)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-------------(in the ballroom)---------------------

Harry: I don't know, Mione, I feel kinda guilty about ignoring Ron. I think he will do something pretty drastic soon if we dont pay any attention to him.

Hermione, yelling: BUT I WANT FENCING AT MYYYYYY WEDDING!

VHPD, bored: Darling, I'm SURE we can arrange that. And please don't yell, it's not proper for a lady to raise her voice.

HERMIONE: I DONT CARE WHAT"S "PROPER", VHPD! I"LL DO WHATEVER I DARN WELL PLEASE!

Harry, concerned: Mione, you seen stressed. (A/N: no duh) Maybe you should put off the wedding...

HERMIONE: NO I WILL NOT PUT OFF MYYYY WEDDING! I WANT TO SEE SOME FENCING!

VHPD, abashed (A/N: lol. i love that word. abashed. lol.): Is fencing the only reason you're marrying me? To watch fencing!

Hermione, finally talking in a normal voice: er...um...well, kinda...

VHPD, very Star Wars esque: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Harry: You know, Hermione, you don't need a wedding to watch fencing. Heck, me and Ron could fence right here right now if you want.

Hermione, yelling again: YES. FIND RON NOWWWWWWWWWWW!

-------------------(on the fencing field) A/N: yes, the elves had a fencing field. lol.)-----------------

Ron, running into the field: You PAGED, my LADY?

Hermione, still yelling and by now quite hoarse: YES. YOU SHALL FENCE HARRY NOW!

Ron, smiling evilly: with pleasure.

(A/N: now, i wont pretend im an expert at fencing and tell you now that i really dont know a thing about it so this will be a pretty sad match for you fencing people. im sorry.)

commentator: aaaaaaaaaaaaand Ron and Harry face off. now remember, in wizard fencing you use only your wands and you can't touch the other person with anything but your wand. (A/N: hahaha how funny would that look? just imagine two teenage boys going hiya with foot long sticks lol) Now Harry attacks Ron, but Ron parries! Howver, Harry switches wand hands and hits Ron on the butt! thats gonna leave a mark! Then as Ron clutches his derrier Harry strikes again and again! Snaps to Harry! aaaaaaaaaaaand Ron is dowwwwwwwwwn! Harry wins! the crowd goes wild! yaaaaaaay!

---commentary ends--------

anyway, so Ron's mad. Really mad. As Harry reaches down for Ron's hand to help him up, Ron casts Rictusempraat Harry, who is knocked unconsious.

Ron,insanely: I WILL HAVE HERMIONE!

Ron then proceeds to knock all the guards out, grab Hermione (A/N: who apparently cant move lol), and run off deeper into the woods.

THE END. no, jk, hahahahaha. that would be a really stupid ending. lol. anyway, so when i was writing this i suddenly remembered: i havent put any magic in ! stupid, stupid stupid. o well. and i KNOW hermione hasnt said a thing about fencing in th first three chapters , but o well. sue me. i dont care. im just doing this for fun. and for my reviewers. i love them all. i will now copy a lot of other authors and needlessly answer all my reviewers. just because im bored.

zerolovr32: yes. i like the elves too. i actually picture VHPD as legolas-esque. but then again, he IS sorta the thing i think of when i think of elves. glad you liked it!

my nana: YAY! someone i knew read my story and liked it! and you liked my sence of humor! luv yoo!1

The Gryffindor Drummer: glad you thought so. heres the more you cant wait for. hehe

Claire me mate: okokokokokokok yes i can write! read on!

Machiavellism: i give you the 'i think like Ron' sticker. -sticks it on you- there you go!

veeuh: hahahahahha im answering my own comment on my story! lol im such a loser! bwahahahahaha

volleybabe: why thank you. i like my commentary too. thats why i put it on there. so ill keep writing and youll keep reading k?

sam: my first flame! thanks for the constructive criticism! though i didnt do a thing about it! bwahahahaha

ta! i really dont know much beyond whats gonna happen next other than a little bit, so give me ideas! read and review! lol maybe ill put in pirates or something hahaha. pirates of the carribbean crossover AND a lotr crosover? hahahalol. comment!