Author's Notes: Er. Let me clear something up, since I seem to've confused someone last chapter. These are drabbles. They aren't meant to interconnect. Each 150-word piece is supposed to stand alone. -nervous smile-
That said, the new lyrics are from Yaz's 'Only You', Live's 'Run to the Water', Paku Romi's 'Returnable Memories', the Foundations' 'Build Me Up, Buttercup', Spacehog's 'In the Meantime', Rie Kugimiya's 'Ano Yume no Mukou e', Matchbox Twenty's 'Bed of Lies', Rockapella's version of 'As I Lay Me Down', and the Aquabats' 'Super Rad'. Japanese translated by yours truly, and this completes the set.
Which only goes to prove that the word "impossible" is dangerous to use around me. -wicked grin-
--What's Mine --
I wonder what's mine/
Can't take no more.
He didn't know for certain anymore, and that scared him.
Memories that had once been so sweetly definite, his only link to a life before the cold encasement of steel, were beginning to fade. He could no longer remember the caress of a summer's breeze, the squish of mud between his toes, the warm silk of his brother's hair.
And even now the words rang in his mind, a suggestion that he couldn't escape no matter how desperately he tried: perhaps those lovely, darkened images of himself as a human being had never been. Perhaps he'd never felt the ache of a fading bruise or lain on his stomach in the grass behind their house to watch as insects crawled beneath the green of the blades.
But none of that hurt so much as the cruel insistence of his own mind: it's impossible to love something that's not even real.
owari--
--From Grace --
A million mile fall from grace/
Thank God we missed the ground.
There had been a time when they were innocent.
It was difficult to recall now, wrapped up in that blur of color and joy that he'd shuffled away to the corner of his mind for things not safe to think about- because memories of childhood had no place in a world thick with an adult understanding of pain.
He took them out sometimes, dusted them off and tried each on in turn, face pressed into the pillow of a cheap hotel room, trying hard not to cry loudly enough to wake Alphonse.
They'd come so far since the laughing little boys of his memory, lost so much more than an arm, a leg, and a body.
But the last thing Edward thought to himself on those rare occasions that he recalled days gone by was grateful: no matter how grievous the wound, there was a chance still for it to heal.
owari--
--To Run --
I shake off regret; I've boarded this train/
For the sake of keeping this promise, I continue to run
Sometimes, Edward Elric wanted to give up.
There are only so many times that a person's hopes can be raised and dashed to pieces, after all, before there's not enough left to rebuild them again.
And so the boy sat with legs drawn up to his chest, chin resting on his knees, a position he would normally despise as making him seem childish- but the station was deserted save himself and Al, who had seen him at his very worst and loved him all the same.
His brother, Ed's mind repeated, and he turned by degrees so that he could catch the light glinting off the surface of the younger boy's armor. His reason for living, for continuing an impossible search, for having the strength to pull himself out of bed every morning and face a new day.
In the distance, a train whistle sounded, and Ed lifted his suitcase.
owari--
--Need You So --
Although you're untrue, I'm attracted to you all the more/
Why do I need you so?
Life, the Fullmetal Alchemist decided viciously, wasn't fair.
It wasn't fair that Roy Mustang could turn his knees to jelly with a few well-placed words, wasn't fair that the bastard could be so smug about it, wasn't fair that he caught himself thinking about that asshole when he should be concentrating on much more important things.
But above and beyond the rest, it was most decidedly not at all fair that, every time Ed got sent away on a new mission, the scheming, underhanded Colonel found a pretty new girl to keep himself entertained. And didn't even have the decency to hide it.
It was enough to make the boy furious- make him want to scream, and curse, and break things.
…and run his fingers through short, dark hair, kiss lips that could do amazingly talented things, stare into the unfathomable depths of smoke grey eyes.
Which wasn't. Fucking. Fair.
owari--
--Well Is All --
When all is well and well is all for all/
And forever after
Alphonse visited his brother on the third Tuesday of every month.
It was an important day for them, after all- the day that he'd been restored. The day when, on his "welcome back" anniversary a year later, they'd shared their first kiss: a sweet, clumsy gesture that he could still taste when he tried hard enough to remember.
Al packed a picnic lunch when he came, caught the early train so that the long afternoon hours could be spent with his brother. He loved sitting in the soft, new grass beneath an impossibly blue sky, loved telling Edward how everyone was doing and what had changed in Central.
He brought daffodils, usually; the color reminded him of lovely, expressive eyes.
And sometimes, as he began the long path away from the stone with his brother's name, he swore he could hear Ed's voice echoing out across wide, green hills.
Laughing.
owari--
--Hear Your Voice --
There's nobody on the station platform/
I stop and watch, and I can hear your voice
For the first time, this place was full of memories: a train pulling in, whistle ghostly in the light of morning. The steam rising from coffee that he couldn't smell. Wheels rumbling on the tracks, the shout of the conductor, the bustle of a crowd in Central.
And above all that, his brother: complaining that he ached after hours on the train; biting into the glaze of a pastry; excited about a treasured new book; curled up on the hard wood of the bench.
His brother: living, growing, changing. Older and wiser and not at all the innocently wicked little boy that he'd known when he was ten years old.
His brother, the Fullmetal Alchemist and everything beneath, with all the years they'd shared between them, with every laugh and sob and shout and desperate dream of what might be.
His brother, forgotten and remembered and loved beyond all words.
owari--
--It's Not Enough --
Don't think that I can fake another hollow smile/
It's not enough to say "I'm sorry"
It cut him every time that Alphonse ran marveling fingers over the cotton of the sheets, feeling the place where the sun had made them warm. Stung when those lovely bronze eyes brightened with wonder as the boy made dinner, leaning down to smell the cloves.
Crushed him every time a shudder trembled out across smooth shoulders as they nuzzled closer; every time quiet keening escaped parted lips as the pad of a thumb brushed him just so; every time the mingled bliss and disbelief settled over those expressive features after they'd finished, heartbeats slowing.
And the smaller boy never spoke when Al's simple joy reminded him that he'd stolen for five long years the things that brought his brother so much pleasure. Because that, after all, would rob him of it once more.
So Edward simply smiled, tucked the guilt away inside him, and hoped the pain wouldn't show.
owari--
--Run To Meet You --
On a summer evening/
I run to meet you, barefoot, barely breathing
It was the time of day that fell into the uncertain period between sunset and night, the time of day that Alphonse spent on the porch swing out front, eyes lingering on the path to the little house he shared with his brother.
"Train gets in tomorrow," the note had promised. "Back around sundown."
But that had been two years ago, and the Fullmetal Alchemist had never returned- had been declared missing in action, presumed dead. There had been a memorial ceremony which Alphonse didn't attend.
Because his brother was alive somewhere, and maybe one day-
Movement on the horizon caught his eye: a silhouette, dark against the glow of the setting sun. He could only stare, throat dry, heart pounding- and then one arm lifted in greeting.
He stumbled in his haste- faltered, righted, took off sprinting.
And when those arms closed around him, metal and flesh, Alphonse cried.
owari--
--One Last Time --
Set it off, one last time/
Here we come again
"Was that really necessary, brother?" Alphonse panted, sprinting down the hall on the smaller boy's heels. Behind them, General Mustang's office smoked and sparked; curious eyes followed their retreat.
"Don't be stupid, Al." They rounded a corner, and Edward pressed on just a bit faster. "That bastard's got another thing coming if he thinks he's gonna insult a body I spent six years trying to get back."
Fond exasperation tinged bronze eyes. "Not to mention the fact," Alphonse pointed out, voice brimming with amusement, "That I'm taller than you. So if I'm short-"
"Don't you dare," Ed warned him, and the look that the boy tossed back over his shoulder was positively dangerous.
Alphonse smiled sweetly in response, radiating innocence. "I wouldn't dream it, brother."
The grin flashed razor-sharp and wild; Ed seized his little brother's arm, pulled him down for a kiss. "Better not."
And they were off again.
owari--