Have you been getting all my postcards? I haven't heard from anyone yet. Did you lose my Amsterdam address? Or, maybe Claire got her head stuck in a giant pickle jar again? If that's the case, I understand why you haven't written or called.
I'm having such a wonderful time in Amsterdam! I've made a new friend. Her name is Gerhild and she's just like me! Isn't that dibble? I've already invited her to visit us next summer. I'm sure she can expect a big Pike family welcome! I have so much to tell you about the trip though! I have special presents for everyone!
Your Beloved Daughter,
Mal
I got a distant surprise Tuesday afternoon when I returned to Verbruggenhuis. Gerhild and I had spent the day at the Universiteit van Amsterdam (University of Amsterdam). Gerhild's mother and stepfather both teach there. Frau van der Velden teaches European Studies and Herr van der Velden teaches Linguistics. Gerhild's sister, Gudrun, is also a student there, studying Economics. We didn't visit the university on a social call, however. We were attending an extremely chilly event - a Renaissance Faire! It was a specially themed pirate one. Gerhild's just crazy about pirates.
We went dressed in costume, too. I was a wench! I wore a long white dress with Stacey's purple bustier over it and a pair of Claudia's combat boots. Then, I stuffed one of Stacey's bras with toilet paper. I completed the outfit with tons of make up (my parents would never know!) and a pink parasol. Gerhild dressed like a regular pirate - striped stockings, eye patch, knickers and torn tunic, etc. We even glued a fake parrot to her shoulder. We looked so authentic.
I was very surprised that Anna Stevenson agreed to go with us. She was quite enthusiastic about it. When I invited her, she said, "This I've gotta see." I was pleased that Anna wanted to spend time with me. However, I was disappointed that she refused to dress up and insisted on walking two steps behind me and Gerhild all day.
We returned to Verbruggenhuis around four on Tuesday. Anna immediately left with Alan Gray and Abby to sneak into something called a peep show. Gerhild and I found Mrs. Kilbourne in the kitchen with a plumber, checking something under the sink. (We still didn't know if the Kilbournes would keep Verbruggenhuis or not). As soon as I walked into the kitchen, Maria and Amanda came running. I was a bit taken aback considering that both had spent a good portion of the trip avoiding me. (I'm not sure why).
"Mallory! You got a phone call. An international phone call!" cried Amanda. "Do you know how much that costs? Not as much as Priscilla, of course. She cost four hundred dollars."
"I got a phone call?" I asked in disbelief. My parents never called me during trips! They say it's nice to pretend I'm not coming back.
"From a boy!" said Maria. "Is he your boyfriend?"
Wow! Ben Hobart had called me? Whoa. This was a definite step from sort-of boyfriend to definite boyfriend. I hoped I could handle the pressure.
"He left a message," said Maria. "I wrote it down word for word. I'll read it to you."
"I can read it myself,"
"No! I promised him I'd give you the message word for word! Now listen,"
I shrugged. Sometimes it's best to let children have their way. The results aren't always the most desirable though. Like that time Nicky drank an entire box of wine or when Claire insisted she was a monkey and tried to jump from a tree in our yard to one in the McGill's yard. Mom and Dad (and Nicky and Claire) definitely learned from those mistakes.
Maria cleared her throat and began to read the note. "G'day Mallory. Thanks a lot for the package. It came in the mail yesterday. I blew it up straight away. It really does look just like you. Unfortunately, I...uh...kind of popped it. Could you be a bonzer sheila and buy me another one? Or, maybe three or four? Thanks, Ben,"
I didn't know what to say. The note was so romantic! I knew it was time to move forward in my relationship with Ben. Obviously, he cared deeply for me and even missed me. I wasn't used to being missed. I needed to find a way to let him know I was ready to take our relationship to the next level. After all, I had promised him a kiss if I returned from Amsterdam alive. (And, as far as I could tell, Gerhild had no plans to maim or kill me). Back home, I had a tube of pineapple chapstick saved for just that occasion.
"Gerhild, we need to go back to that store!" Not only would I buy Ben the three or four Mallory Pike blow up dolls he'd requested, I'd find him something extra special, too.
Gerhild went home to change and I went upstairs. We coordinated our outfits beforehand though. When we met outside Verbruggenhuis ten minutes later we almost looked liked twins. It was kind of cool out, so we wore sweaters. Gerhild had on her maroon one with the "G" monogrammed in silver. I wore a similar one, in forest green, that Gerhild had monogrammed with a silver "M". We also wore matching jean skirts with brown leather belts and brown sandals. Around our necks, we wore gold necklaces we'd bought at the Renaissance Faire. This guy in an elaborate Marie Antoinette costume (I don't know why. Marie Antoinette wasn't a pirate) twisted gold wire into our names. So, my necklace said "Mallory" and Gerhild's said, well, "Gerhild". If I were a brunette or Gerhild a redhead I bet we would have looked as identical as Abby and Anna Stevenson. No one would ever mistake Jessi and me for sisters with Jessi being black and all.
Gerhild and I had a pleasant ride to the Red-Light district, spending most of the tram ride discussing the Kristy McNichol film The Pirate Movie, which we had watched seven times that week. I enjoy Kristy McNichol on the t.v. show Empty Nest, Gerhild adores pirates, and we like the singing, so really, everyone won. I also told Gerhild all about The Saddle Club, which apparently isn't available in Austria. Every so often, Gerhild would ask vague questions about whether or not Dawn Schafer was mentally unstable. I didn't understand why, so I just changed the subject back to Carole, Stevie, and Pine Hollow.
Once we reached the Red-Light district, Gerhild and I headed straight to Fraulein Vankerbergen's store. I had been pleasantly surprised on our first visit. An adult store wasn't what I had expected. I'd found some really fresh gifts for my family, like the triplet's bike pump and Uncle Joe's back massager. I hoped to be equally lucky on this visit.
"Guten tag, Fraulein," Gerhild said when we entered the shop. "This is my new American friend, Mallory Pike,"
Fraulein Vankerbergen was seated behind the register and appeared to be wearing the same sleeveless jean shirt as the last time I saw her. She also still had a huge wad of chaw in her cheek. She spat into her spittoon, then shook my hand.
"You a natural redhead?" she asked.
"Unfortunately," I replied.
"Care to prove it?" asked Fraulein Vankerbergen.
I didn't understand what she meant, so I just stood there.
"Ah, I'm just jokin'," she laughed. "I lived in the U.S. for a few years. Northern Louisiana and Western Ohio mostly. Drove a big rig awhile. Lots of good memories, like this one time, I went to a Billy Ray Cyrus concert and...well, I guess that's a story for when you girls are older," Fraulein Vankerbergen spat into the spittoon again, then turned toward Gerhild. "Haven't seen your brother in here for a few days,"
Gerhild nodded. "Georg has been very busy. He spends all his time in his room or on the roof. I cannot figure out why,"
"Why? He's a teenage boy, that's why," chuckled Fraulein Vankerbergen. "Tell Georg that I just got a new shipment of videos in. Mostly amateur stuff, but there's this one and oh my. I tell you, this girl's going to be a star. It's girl on girl, but my supplier says he's got a straight one on the way. Tell Georg. Don't forget,"
Gerhild nodded, then we started looking around the store. I found the blow up dolls again and to my relief there were about a dozen of the redhead ones left. Actually, those were the only ones left. Imagine the luck! I picked out four and left them at the counter with Fraulein Vankerbergen. Gerhild was busy trying on a pirate costume, so I looked around by myself. I decided to buy my mom a back massager like I'd bought for Uncle Joe. I selected a hot pink one. I wandered over to a display behind the feather boas. Mary Anne had been checking it out the other night. I picked up a spray bottle. The label was in Dutch, but it smelled like raspberries. Margo would like that. I tucked it under my arm. It didn't seem fair to make the triplets share one gift, so I bought a fifty count box of prophylactic balloons. Maybe they could have a water balloon fight with some of the neighborhood kids. Plus, the balloons came in three flavors - strawberry, banana, and cola. The triplets, especially Byron, really like to eat.
I deposited those with Fraulein Vankerbergen, too. Gerhild was now in full pirate costume, sword fighting a mannequin with a couple giant back massagers. I continued on my gift giving quest. First, I found some Dutch Barbie dolls for Claire. I'm not sure what "anatomically" translates to in Dutch or if "correct" is the same in Dutch as in English. I couldn't ask Gerhild because her Dutch is almost as bad as mine. And, I was too afraid to ask Fraulein Vankerbergen. (That natural redhead question both confused and frightened me). I was really on a roll. Nicky had recently become interested in aviation. So, what did I get for him? A video called Belinda Blows Berlin which I assumed was a documentary on fighter planes in World War II. I knew Nicky would love it. In the book section, I chose a poetry collection for Vanessa called Femme Erotika.
No sooner hadI pulled the poetry book from the shelf than I spotted it. What was it? The perfect gift for Ben! Correction - the perfect book for me and Ben. The title appeared to be in Latin, which of course I don't speak. Somehow though, I just knew the book was what I'd been looking for.
"Hey, Gerhild, what does 'Kama Sutra' mean?"
Gerhild paused in her imaginary sword play. "What?" she asked.
"Kama Sutra," I repeated. Gerhild was very gifted with languages (even though she hadn't managed to learn Dutch yet). Besides German and English, she was fluent in Italian and Spanish. Other than English, the only language I knew was Pig Latin.
"I do not know what that means," replied Gerhild.
"Here," I said, pushing the book into her arms. "I think it's Latin."
"I do not start learning Latin until next term," Gerhild told me.
"Well, it's probably close to Italian and Spanish. Maybe you can figure it out. You know so much about foreign languages,"
Gerhild stood a little straighter and said, proudly, "That's true. I do know much about languages. My mother speaks eight, including Finnish, which is very difficult to master. And, my father, he teaches Russian - "
"Yes, yes," I interrupted. "I know all that. Now, what does this say?"
Gerhild studied the cover, then flipped through some of the pages. She knitted her eyebrows together in deep concentration. Finally, she smiled, a bit smugly, and shut the book. "I have it figured out," she told me. "Kama Sutra means 'true love'. In the text and all these drawings, it tells you how to fall in love,"
I squealed, "Perfect! That's just what I need for Ben!" I hugged the book to my chest. "This is so acu -" I stopped myself. I had to be careful about the BSC-created slang I used with Gerhild. The other day, after I said "dibble" eleven times, she went home and tried to look it up in her German-English dictionary. "This is just perfect," I told her.
Gerhild nodded. "It is good I could translate for you,"
"I know! Thank you so much, Gerhild. I really owe you one,"
Gerhild waved her hand, like it was no big deal. She appeared quite pleased with herself. I just couldn't believe my luck. I'd found all those terrific gifts for my family and now I had a guide to True Luv. I'd no longer have to rely on Stacey for advice, which was a good thing considering no one had seen her in over a week.
I paid for my items and Fraulein Vankerbergen loaded them into a large plastic shopping bag. The bag had a picture on it of a man and woman doing something I didn't quite understand. Perhaps the man was performing the Heimlich Maneuver? I'd ask Mrs. Kilbourne or Mrs. Carson when I returned to Verbruggenhuis. Before we left, Fraulein Vankerbergen made Gerhild buy the pirate costume she'd been leaping around the store in, citing the "you wear it, you buy it" policy. Then, we said goodbye to Fraulein Vankerbergen, who spat once more in her spittoon and told me to come back to see her when I grew four inches and wore a bra.
As soon as Gerhild and I walked into Verbruggenhuis, Kristy yelled, "Finally! You're back! We have reservations at Cinema Paradiso," then she blew her whistle and headed for the door.
"I thought you lost that," said Shannon, irritably.
"So, did I," replied Kristy. "I found it under some of Greer's stuff."
"I'm still wondering how you found it," snapped Greer.
"Can you guys wait just a minute?" I asked. "I need to grab something upstairs,"
Kristy sighed, heavily. Shannon jabbed her in the side and said, "Of course, we can. We'll be on the stoop."
When I came back downstairs, Gerhild was the only one waiting in the foyer. Dawn was standing at the bottom of the stairs though, wearing a gray baseball cap and a pair of dark sunglasses. Her lovely white blonde hair was tucked under the hat. She and Gerhild were watching each other in an awkward silence.
"Are you coming to dinner?" I asked Dawn.
Dawn shook her head and mumbled something, then headed back upstairs.
I shrugged and walked over to Gerhild. "Here, Gerhild, this is for you," I told her, handing over the thin book. "It's the third book in the Saddle Club series, but I think you'll be able to follow along. It's a thank you for helping me out today. And, for being such a good friend. We're even steven now."
"Thank you, Mallory. I look forward to reading it,"
She slid the book into her shopping bag, then slipped her arm through mine. We joined Kristy, Mary Anne, Greer, and Shannon on the front stoop. Mary Anne had out one of her guide books, which she read to us as we started walking. "Cinema Paradiso is an Italian restaurant located in the Jordaan. Spacious and light, the restaurant's in an old cinema..."
As we walked toward the tram stop in the cool evening air, my thoughts drifted away from Mary Anne's words. Instead, I thought of me and Ben and our future as a couple. Would the Kama Sutra bring us closer? I couldn't be sure, but I hoped so.