The Essence
Chapter 3
Healing Process
Kagome's POV
"Ok Inuyasha, I'm ready." I say coming down the stairs to meet Sango and the others. But there's no one down stairs at all. I wonder where is everyone, I know they didn't leave with out me. I walk in the kitchen no one there. To the living room, no one there either. I go to the rec room and I see Inuyasha and Kikyo in a full makeout session. I felt my heart shatter. I didin't known what to do. I just freeze in the door way of the room. They just kept on kissing like I wasn't there. Theyu break away and it looked like Inuyasha was gonna tell Kikyo something but he saw me. "Kagome..." he said his eyes looking at the ground. I turn and run away.
'I hate living here! Why can't I die already?' I ask myself as I ran up the stairs, ran to my room, locked the door behind me, and flopped down on my bed. "Kagome! Open the door." Inuyasha yelled through the door. I didn't say anything, I didn't do anything. I just laid there and emotioneless void. Soon Inuyasha's knocks dies away and I heard him slide down the wall next to my door. I don't want to be here. I was fool to think that some men or boys, or whatever the fuck they are worth my damn time! I feel so stupid. I don't know what to think about myself. I just know I don't want to be here, and to think, I had feelings for him! I feel like slitting his throat, the bastard. 'Where are these feelings coming from?' I ask myself.
"Kagome, are you in there." came Sango's voice later on. I was silent. I haven't come out my room in a while or talked to anyone. I could slowly feel myself being eaten away from rage inside, but I didn't care. Anything was better than heart break. 'Anything even...death.' I think and slowly I feel myself going to the bath room, opening the medicine cabinet and grabbing my medicine I was giving from my counsler, and going back into my room with a cup of water and locking my bedrom door behind me. Soon I was popping pills like M&Ms. I didn;t know what to do. 'Kagome is a very sensetive girl, she still in the healing process.' Kagura's words repeated in my mind as she told Kaeade that.
"Kagome open the door! NOW!" came Kaedae's voice. I looked over at my bottle of pills and there was only one left. 'See you in hell, Satan.' I though to myself as I swallowed the last pill with a gulp of water. It took a while before I felt anything and when I did, it wasn't nice. I didn't want to live anymore no one loved me. 'Unrequited love, ain't that the shits.' I thought as I stood up to go throw away my empty pill bottle. The door opened with Sango on her knees with a bobby pin in her hand. She walked over to me. She was saying something, but I couldn't understand her. It sounden like it was coming through a very long tube. Colors started swirling. Then I saw blackness.
"Do you think she'll be ok?" came a males voice. "It's really hard to tell, I mean she just took a whole bottle of depressants." came a younger but mature voice. "Ok, well if she wakes up can you tell her that Inuyasha came by." said the voice. I still couldn't understand anything. It all sound mixed together in a blender. Then I heard door close and I saw blackness once more.
I saw light for the first time to day. But it dies away everytime I get close to it. I think it was God but then he sent away. To got to hell. But I keep trying to get to heaven. I couldn't hear anything but a swirling noise. I think it was the sound of thw blood pounding in my ears. But I bcame deaf and then I feel into darkness once more.
"Inuyahsa it's all your fault!" came a femaile voice it sounded familiar. "I didn't shove those pills down her throat." came a boys voice. "Be quiet you two, you can't blame anyone for anything." came another boys voice. I peeked my eyes open to the left and saw a bag filled with water and needles stuck in my arms. Then for the first time, I felt a tube in the back of my throat and I coughed trying to get it out and talking stopped. I opened my eyes fully and looked at the whie room I was in. I looked around the only thing I could do. Then I felt tears trickle down my face and warm hands on my face. "It's all right, Kagome it's gonna be all right." said the girl she had on red eye shadow on and a high ponytail on her head. "I hope the bitch dies." came a cold female voice. "Shut up Kikyo, you bitch." came another male voice. He had his hair in a ponytail at the nape of his neck and violest eyes I've ever seen. Then there was another boy who was silent and had silver hair and gold and amber eyes with a girl sitting next to him.
I try to talk and nothing comes out. These people seem so familiar but yet so, new to me. I try again to talk and look at the girl who's standing over me in panick. "It's all right. The doctors said this would be expected. Don't worry at all." The girl said and strangely I believed her. Then once again I feel into the dark abyss.
I had a dream about some people. Their names were Sango, Miroku, Kaeade, and Kikyo. And there was an adorable fox kitsune named Shippo. But there was this one boy who was silent and every time I asked his name I felt pain in my heart. I don't know why I wanted to know his name anyway he seemed like a real jerk.
"Kagome are you awake?" asked a voice. It was child's voice and I woke to the small kit sitting on my stomach. "I got you some pocky." the child said to me as I sat up on my bed and handed my the candy. "Thanks, do you want to play a game?" I asked suddenly. "Sure, no one's been asking me to play with them at all today." the small boy asked. But some how I just knew his name was Shippo. I recognized him from my dream. The game is called I Spy. You play it by..." and I explained the rules to him. Soon, he was winning, I guess he had better eyesight than me cause I sure couldn't see anything he was.
"Hello, Ms. Higurashi." said a man with silver hair he looked like the silen boy in my dreams but way older. "My name is Dr. Taisho and I came to check on you today." said the man with a smile. "Are you gonna give me a shot?" I asked. I remember asking that question everytime momma took me to the kid doctor. "No, I'm just gonna check if all your systems are in tune and everything is running all right. Shippo scooted down to the far end of the bed as the doctor examined me with weird things. "What is that?" I asked as Dr. Taisho stck a cold thing on my chest and asked me to take deep breaths. "This is called a Stethascope (sp?)" he answeres smiling at me then after he was done writing some things on a sheet.
"You may relax if you want, or go down to the pay room if you want." he said disconnecting the wires and taking the irritatting tube out my nose. Then he told my about the bag filled with water...I mean medicine. and how to pull it so the needle won't leave my arm. He said the medicine is going to mke me better and I want my bones to be big and strong! I heard him say to Sango and the boys the silent one was there too, that the medicine had reduced my to child's state of mind, whatever that is. I still don't understand how all this big stuff works. Every where i go some grown up is following me around. (remember child's state of mind!) They act like I'm going to break someth- "Oops." I say as a beaker shattered on the ground. "Stand over there so we can clean the glass." Dr. Taisho said to me. I wanted to do it again, it looked cool.
I felt my lip pout. "You're not in trouble it was an accident." Doc said to me again. I wonder when that nice lady, Sango will come back. But that other lady, Kikyo, she doesn't seem nice. For some reason I get the feeling that I need to hit her as hard as I can. But I ignore it. Sometimes the hostpital is boring and others it's really cool. Like when they have to shock someone to make them breath. I don't see how that helps, I mean if the person isn't breathing already how is shocking going to help. Doctors are weird, but not Dr.Taisho, he's nice after he checks me up he gives me sticker with a smily face, then asks weird questions like 'Do you feel yourself today?' Am I not normal,of course I am! But sometimes I don't feel normal. I feel like there's another door in my brain that I have to unlock. Weird huh?
"Sango." I smile and give her a hug as she greets me happily. "Hey Kagome, I bought some crayons and pictures do you want to color with me and Shippo." she smiled. "Shippo's here! He's by bestest friend in the world." I smile as the small kit hops on Sango's shoulder. Then the silent boy shows up with the Kikyo girl again. I think they're in a 'Replaytion Ship' whatever you call it. Eww! They're holding hands! But then I feel like crying. And I do. "Kagome what's wrong?" Sango asked patting my back. I like her fingernail polish. It's red. "I...don't...know." I breath in choppy breaths. "Here Kaogme, don't cry." said the silent boy giving me a sucker. "Ohhh!" I say and grab the sucker. After a few funny faces and 20 suckers later I was laughing and coloring pictures with Sango and Shippo as Inuyasha was talking to Kikyo like he was trying to tell her somehting, but she wouldn't listen.
"I hate that bitch." I say unexpectedly. I clam my hands over my mouth. "I'll never do it again! I promise." I yell as i felt like crying again. For some reason Sango looked extremely happy. "Does this happen often. You know, you say weird things." Sango asked me getting magenta crayon. "Not all the time. It mostly happens when I think about my family or about people I don't know. It's weird huh?" I say coloring this lady's apple blue. "No, it's not weird at all." Sango smiles grabbing an orange. "Actually that means you're getting better." Sango smiled putting the crayon down. "There's Dr.Taisho (sp?)" Sango said getting up and walking outside the room. I looked at the picture she had drawn. 'Don't worry be happy' It said in red letters with worm on an apple talking to a bird. I though birds ate worms.
"Happy Birthday! How does it feel to be out of that hostpital for three years?" Miroyk said to me. Things were still a little fuzzy but they were peicing together. "It feels good and I can drive a car. This has got to be dream." I smile at the Inuyasha and the others. Sometimes I still call him silver headed boy or the silent boy. But it only happens very rarely. They say the pills I took did a small percentage of permanent brain damage, but everyting feels normal here. I gratuated from high school early and Kikyo and Inuyasha are over and currently...well you know. We're together. All of us excluding Kikyo live in the same complex or neighborhood the doctors let me visit."I can't believe I just spent three years of my life in that whole. I missed mostly everything." I exclaim getting in the car with the others. I sat next to Inuyasha of course.
After the suicide incedent I had learned that my mother will be released in a year and I can make monthly visits now. I get unpleasant visits from Kikyo of course trying to make me commit suicide in hopes that I'll die. Things are going great with my new job. I'm a very highly respected scretary, and I feel a promotion in the works. Translation: The Bitch AKA Kikyo got fired from assistent CEO. "Rake the money in!" Miroku smiled as he knew what I've been thinking about. Because I've talked about it, about...1,024,567,985 times. I counted! I got out the car and walked to my new room . I have to decorate but it's still ok in my eyes.
"Kagome do you want to go to a movie tonight?" came Inuyasha's voice on the other end of the phone. "Sure, what time?" I ask hopefully I won't have to wait that long. "How about 8:00." He said, I swear I could see him smiling as I considered. He knew I was gonna say yes. "I don't know...All right." I could feel the corners of my mouth turn up into a smile. 5 more hours. I still have time to get my hair and nails done and buy a new outift. And so, I did.
I walk into Rue 21, my favorite store, and look for the perfect swaeter. It's winter ya know! I think it's going to snow. I look at all the jackets and everything. There was a really cute heavy jacket that was black and had fur around the hood and sleeves (sp?). Then there's a sweater that has a long turtle neck that can button up and it comes down around the shoulders. It was so cute. So I bought it in the color whit along with a cloth belt and and blue jeans with some cute boots (AN: that rhymed!) and I walked out the store. Then I drove over to the nail shop. Top Nails, they do the best jobs even though it hurts like hell. After that was done I went to the salon. I know it's a lot. But I think this is the night when Inuyasha is going to propose to me! I hope so, and if not I'm going to be REALLY mad!
I go home with an hour and a half to spare. So I take a bath making shure not to wet my hair. Can't waste 60 dollars on a hair do. Then wahs my face brush my teeth. Half an hour to spare! I slip into my outfit check my make up in the mirror. Do double takes in the mirror just to make sure nothing isn't wrong. Then- KNOCK KNOCK! He's at the door. (Wish Kagome luck readers!) I feel so excited. I swear If I didn't have a rib cage over my heart, it would burst out right know. grab me black jacket house keys and, I head out the door.
But, not before checking my hair one more time! "Hey beautiful." Inuyasha smiles as I lock the door behind me. "Not looking so bad yourself." I smile as we walk through the cold to his car. "What are we seeing?" I ask when he opens my door. "Let's see...Cry Wolf." Inuyasha smiled as he started the car. "No way! I heard it was really scary!" I felt my face contort to fear. "Well, I heard it was stupid." Inuyasha drove out the lot. "Then I guess I'll keep my eyes closed the whole movie." I say as Inuyasha stops at red light. "Let's play a game. At every red light I stop at. You have to kiss me. It's my version of Red Light, Green Light." Inuyasha smiled as the light turned greem. "As you wish. Just run the red lights." I smile. Inuyasha looked angry. "I'm just kidding!" I laugh as Inuyasha stoppped at a red light. "Here." I sigh as I give Inuyashakiss on the lips. I swear I lost all thought process.I always do! I don't even remember where we were going.Weird huh?
"I like this game." Inuyasha smiled as we pull into the movie parking lot. "C'mon, I'll protect you." Inuyasha said putting an arm around me waist. I felt my knees wobble. And I'm sure I saw Inuyasha's knees wobble too. We have those kind of effects on each other. Translation: I'm a PIMP! Just joshing ya. I smile, just being with Inuyasha brightens my spirits as if I'm on cloud 9. So Inuyasha buys our tickets and we sit in the very back row, like always. The movie begins and the lights turn off.
As soon as the movies over it's as if the noght sky has turned light purplr instead of the usual blackish purple. Inuyasha drives over to a park. It's like a tradition, even during the winter. We get out and go to our favorite spot. The bench that if you sit on it, you can see the lake and where the moon shines bright enough to see the fishes. But there is no moon tonigh. So we just look over at the lake and talk about things, like our feauture together and how much we love eachother.
Inuyasha isn't like the other guys I know, they always want something from you and when the get it, they up and leave. "Hey Kagome, how much do you love me?" Inuyasha said pulling me into his lap. I smile as I lay my head on his shoulder. "There's nothing my love compares to in words." I smile as he squeezes me softly. We sit there for what seems forever and I could feel my self drifting off. "Kagome, are you sleepy?" Inuyasha asks shaking me a little. "No, I'm just...comfortable." I smile as my head is still on his shoulder. "C'mon." Inuyasha says letting me get up. I stretch my limbs and then that's when I see it, on my black glove the first snowflake. "I heard that if you catch the first snow flake before the second one falls, you cna name wish and it'll come true." Inuyasha smiles as he saw what I was looking at. He wraps his arms around my waist. "Go on baby, make a wish." Inuyasha whispers in my ear.
'I wish me and Inuyasha will be together for all of eternity.' I wish with all my might and then as soon as I blow it away. More snow is falling. I already have a good amount on my head so I pull up my hood. "Kagome, how much do you love me?" Inuyasha asks me again. "Inuyasha, I've already answered that-Oh KAMI!" I felt myself squeal. Inuyasha was down on one knee with a ring open. "Inuyasha!" I squealed. I couldn't believe it! He was proposing. "Do you love me enough to be my wife? Will you marry me?" Inuyasha says. His face looks kinda blue. "Inuyasha! You can breath! Yes, I'll be your wife." I squeal. Inuyasha gets up and kiss me on my lips. I feel as if I could melt all the snow that was falling. i pull of my glove and Inuyasha slides the ring onto my finger. "Kagome, I love you so much." Inuyasha says before kissing me again. "I do too, babe." I say in between kisses.
And as they say we live happily ever after!