A/N: I am a silly person. The original chapter five stunk, simply because I am a doofus. Strictly speaking, I shouldn't have written it when I did. I just wasn't in the mood, and sort of, kind of, forced myself to do it. I know what you are thinking, How can you not be in the mood to write? I dunno, maybe it was PMS, whatever. So this time, I was in the mood, and it's different, and I think its better. I know I don't deserve it, (cite previous admission of idiocy), but please review this. I need to know if it improved or not. I apologize for rushing, and promise to never do it again. Forgive me?
She walked slowly along the sidewalk. Her feet dragged along and she slowly turned towards the house. His house. She sighed and continued walking towards it. She was unhappy with herself. She kept telling herself that she wanted this idea to go off without a hitch, but something pulled her towards him. She wanted him to be a part of it all, but wasn't it always a mess with him?
Again she sighed, but this time she had reached a decision. They were over (had they ever really started?), and she had let go. The fact remained that he was an important part of her life, and this was important too.
She walked slowly up the stairs to his house, and knocked sharply. She scuffed her foot along the porch, and stared at her shoes. She shouldn't be this nervous. She had every right to casually ask him to be a part of this. There was nothing wrong with that. Was there?
She jumped slightly as the door opened. It was him. Her breath came shorter, and she glanced sharply away form him.
"Manny?" He asked. There was a slight edge to his voice, and she tried not to take offense. "Wha-" He started to say, but halted. He shook his head slightly and opened the door completely. "Come in." He exhaled as she walked past him, and she tried not to notice how good he smelled. "What's up?" He said with an anxious glance at her, well, stomach. His mouth seemed to involuntarily twitch, and she almost found it funny.
"You know, not everything I want to talk to you about is a horrible life-changing event, Craig." She said with a poor attempt at humor. He quickly averted his eyes, and spun around towards the kitchen.
"Yeh, yeh." He muttered vaguely, trying to cover his embarrassment. "Um, I'm gonna get something to drink," He called over his shoulder while walking fast into the kitchen. "Coke, right?" He asked her nervously.
"Yeh, coke's great." She answered and clenched her jaw to keep from laughing. They hadn't touched each other in over a year, and he was still acting like she was going to drop another baby bombshell on him. If she would have known this would be this entertaining, she would have visited him a long time ago.
He re-entered the room carrying two glasses of iced coke, and he set them on the coffee table. He plopped down on the couch, and she momentarily thought about sitting really close to him, just to freak him out, but decided that this idea was worth more than a cheap laugh at his expense.
She sat down across from him in an over stuffed chair, and looked at him seriously. "I'm not here to tell you bad news. I'm not here to seduce you. I'm not here to change your life, and I'm not here to break you and your girlfriend up." She rattled off quickly. He looked away, embarrassed again, and Manny wondered what was wrong with her. Craig was a really confident guy, he wasn't this easy to throw off balance. Or maybe there was something up with him? She didn't want to worry about it now.
She took a sip of her coke and set it down on a coaster. "Um, well. I am here for a reason. Um, I mean, I'm not just here to chat, or something." Wow, now she was the one that was embarrassed. She took a deep breath. "What I mean is, I came because I wanted to ask you something, and because I wanted us to, maybe, be friends?"
He glanced at her curiously, as though to say Nice idea, but it'll never work, and he blinked.
She turned a bit redder, and sighed. "Well, I don't mean we should start sharing all our innermost secrets or anything. I... I just meant that maybe we could stop being so, I don't know, detached and cold. Because, it's not that I want to get back together or bring up any bad memories, but, you know, we have a past, Craig. I just…I just can't pretend like we don't anymore." There she said it. She took a few deep breathes and wouldn't look at him for a few moments. When she finally managed to look up, she saw that he was staring at her intently.
"Yeah, Manny. I think that's a good idea." He said with what she really thought was sincerity. Ok, don't tell him yet, she thought to herself, You can't rush Craig. Remember the thing with his locker…
But her mouth betrayed her. She couldn't help it. Craig might need to take it slow, but she was the kind that went fast. She jumped in head first, and prayed she could swim through it. And, besides, she wasn't trying to preserve a relationship, or really even a friendship, just a lack of forced disinterest. So he would just have to get over the way she was and accept her. She was through changing for guys.
"So…" She started hesitantly.
"What?" He asked with a touch of exasperation.
She glared at him, and sucked in a breath "Well…" And she proceeded to tell him all about her idea.
Manny's back hurt. She felt like she had spent the night hunched over a…box.
"Ahhh." She exhaled, and stood up slowly. "Ow." She looked around and her heart started to race. Why was she staring at bare slats? Where was her bed spread? Why did her back hurt so badly? She must have fallen asleep over that box of old school stuff. "Shit!"
She quickly scrambled across the boxes strewn about the floor, and rushed to the door. It was just as she had left it, before she came up the night before. She sighed and sat down with her legs draped over the sides of the hole. She looked through the small box into the kitchen where she could make out the table, and she saw dishes piled on it. The dark wasn't so bad as to prevent her from seeing the sink, and the mess that littered the floor.
So what happened here? He woke up, found I wasn't in bed, and then just went about his usual morning? She thought incredulously to herself. He must have checked and saw that I was up here, and that nothing was wrong…she shook her head and focused on the dishes, he had to have been worried. He must have checked the attic and saw me. He had to have, because he left the breakfast mess for me to clean up. This sounded odd, even to herself. If he had found her in the attic, would he not have woken her up? Her excuses were feeble, but she chose to ignore the part of her brain that was telling her that she needed to wake up, and not from sleep.
He heart was racing, but she made herself forget about Sam for the moment. She wanted to continue to focus on her project. She had to. It was all that was keeping her sane.
She stood up and cautiously made her way back to the box of her old school things. She picked up the year book and lovingly tucked it under one arm. She grabbed her flashlight, turned it off, and walked back to the opening.
Each step down the stairs was tremendous. She felt the questions that always plagued her resurface. Does he really love me? Is this all a joke? Why am I here? Step..stepmother, stepchildren, why? Why? How?
She firmly pressed her feet against the steps, and planted her weight. She imagined she was squashing the thoughts that circled her heart. She pushed them so they could not harm her.
The wood of the kitchen floor was warm and she pushed the door back into the ceiling with ease. Her back still hurt, and she stiffly walked into the bathroom to grab some pain meds.
The phone rang as she exited, and she hurried over to the wall unit.
Ring…ring…ring…ri..
The receiver was cold in her hand, and she placed it to her ear reluctantly. "Hello, Heron residence." Ugh, I sound like a receptionist. She thought to herself. She tried to ignore the fact that she felt like one most of the time.
"Manuela? Is that you?" No it's a strange burglar that answers the phone when he robs people, Manny thought sarcastically.
"Yes, Sam. What is it?" Her tone came off snippy but she didn't care.
"I need a favor. The Baxon's file is on my desk. The left corner. I need it for a meeting tonight, and I was wondering if you could run it by." He voice was impatient and he mumbled something to someone on his end.
"Ye- Wait. We were supposed to have dinner together tonight. You know, just the two of us? No kids. No distractions. Just us." She meant to sound angry but only vulnerability came across.
"Manuela, you know how my job is. Things come up. I-" He cut himself off and mumbled again to someone on the other line. "Tonight's no good. Why don't we do it on Thursday? That's the only other time I'm free this week."
Her heart started to race, and anger filled her blood. This was the same excuse he used every time, but this time it was different. Tonight wasn't special. Thursday was.
"Sam. You know that I'm busy Thursday." She didn't say why. Please know why. She silently pleaded.
"What? Hun, PTA isn't on Thursdays. It's Tuesday nights." His voice held distraction, and her eyes bulged.
"PTA? PTA!" She screeched at him. "Sam, for one thing, you play golf on Tuesday's, PTA is on Thursdays, but the Principal is out of town this week, so the meeting was rescheduled for Saturday, and second of all, Thursday is special." Her voice held a question. Do you know why?
"Special? I don't have anything going on Thursday, I just told you that. Are you doing anything?" The last question was incredulous. Like the very idea of her doing anything outside of her resident job of the maid was extraordinary. Manny took three deep breathes.
"Sam. I have a fundraiser Thursday. For the group I belong to. Mothers Without Children." She hissed the last three words, but he didn't even notice. He just told some girl named Sharon to fax that report to some other girl named Lisa. Manny seethed.
He focused back on her, only to say. "Oh, hun. You know you don't actually have to go to those things. Just write them a check. Besides, we already went to that silent auction this month; our charity quotient is taken care off." He was joking, but Manny only became angrier.
"Sam," Her voice was pure venom. "That was a social get together of your old frat brothers, huddled behind a paper thin charity screen. How much money was actually raised, Sam? Five hundred dollars? Out of over five hundred attendees?" Her voice got quieter with every word. He seemed to actually be paying attention to her at this point.
"Alright, alright. If it means that much to you. Just go." Her heart was beating so fast she felt like she was going to pass out.
"Yes Sam. It means that much to me." She whispered as a tear slid down her cheek.
"Ok then. I'll see what I can do about us having dinner next week. That ok with you?" More silent tears followed.
"Yes, whatever." Again she whispered.
"So, can you bring that file by? I really need it." The tears stopped and her anger returned. Her heart was on fire.
"No. No, I can't. I'm busy." She hung up the phone without waiting for an answer.
The tears returned as she walked over to the table, phone in hand. She calmed them with time and looked out through the kitchen window. Her breathing deepened and she faced the phone again.
Now, a pleasant conversation…