Annie: Hey! can you believe it! We're updating! We've had most of this chapter in my computer for a year, we just never finished it.

So, we've already started on the next chapter.

CHAPTER 7

Duo walked dazed like, but determined, toward the man city. He had a dozen suggestions from his animal friends on how to win Heero's affections and he was determined to try them, as ridiculous as many of them seemed. He didn't know how elves typically mated, let alone humans.

It may sound like he was horribly naive for someone who was more than 1,000 years old but it was difficult to gather the facts of life when he was alternating between keeping his brother our of trouble and making sure he had enough skills himself to keep Quatre out of trouble. The only thing he knew about mating was what the animals knew, and if it worked for them, it should work for him as well. Right?

Duo walked toward the castle he had visited earlier. It seemed like the best place to find this idiot, Heero Yuy. Duo looked around tentatively, shuddering at the crude and disgusting humans swarming around him like ants only less dignified as they didn't seem to have anything to do, whereas ants actually made good use of their time.

His mind was churning with the information he had been given and he felt that he needed someone to help him. Swallowing his pride, Duo stopped a young woman. She turned at him impatiently, but her rebuke fell dead on her lips as she stared at the beautiful man. Duo gathered his civility and stood up straight, "Could you tell me where Duke Heero Yuy is?"

The dark haired woman immediately put on her best smile, something that any normal male would recognize as flirting. "Who may I ask is looking for him?"

Duo looked at her, concealing his frustration, "Someone who has business with him.

The servant girl called Hilde frowned. This was odd. No one was impervious to her large batting eyes. This person must swing the other way. She shrugged with a sigh. Why do all the good looking ones prefer their own? Obligingly she pointed out where the Duke was currently taking care of business. "But I don't think you should barge in there right now," Hilde warned, one hand restraining Duo.

Duo was in no mood to be delayed. He had had it with this body. The faster he tried this, the faster he could get back to his pwn body and just go home. "Thank you," he muttered politely and shrugged the girl's hand off. In long determined strides, he stalked toward Heero Yuy's chambers. Duo put a determined hand to the large oak door and knocked three times. No response. Annoyed, Duo listened. He heard a shriek and low, loud moans.

Taking a deep breath, Duo pushed the door open and strode in, determined to get on with it and over it. He gasped and stumbled back against the doorway, covering his mouth with one hand, his eyes wide with disbelief. Heero was committing murder. There was no other way to describe what he was doing to that poor girl, who was moaning in pain.

"Get off her, you fiend," Duo yelled in panic, drawing his sword and pointing it at Heero's naked... behind. Who in his right mind commits murder without his clothes on for a swift escape?

Heero looked up, his hair tussled and his body covered in sweat completely confused. "What are you-"

The girl beneath him pulled away and Duo realized she was also wearing nothing. His steady sword faltered a bit. His mind churned with confusion. was this also some kind of mating ritual he was not aware of? Of course, then what happened next was indeed most spectacular. The girl issued a scream worthy of a banshee and all hell broke loose.

Duo leaped back and the girl scrambled backwards off the bed grabbing a sheet to wrap around her, leaving Heero completely bare and staring furiously at Duo. The girl continued to scream in the background and sort of panic seized Duo and he turned at the sight of Heero naked. Lowering his sword, he kept his head averted. A warm blush crept up his cheeks as he wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole. They stood in those exact positions as the girl, still screaming; Duo admired her healthy lungs, started throwing on her clothes and left the room with an evil glare shot in his direction.

Now, standing alone with the still blatantly bare Heero, Duo felt a lump in his throat, mostly fear, coupled with embarrassment. Heero gaped, "What the hell are you doing here!" Heero stood, obviously ignoring his lack of attire and glared threateningly at Duo. "Look at me when I speak to you!"

Inching over to the chair, Duo snagged Heero's coat and threw it over to him. "Put that on and I will look at you," he mumbled shyly, resolutely looking elsewhere

Heero did as he was told and then grabbed Duo by the arm. "Listen elfboy, I don't know what right you think you have to come barging in here, but it is definitely a fictitious right. If you don't come up with a good reason for you being here, I will have you arrested."

Duo looked at Heero's cold eyes in awe, they were deadly in their steadiness as they pierced into Duo's own. Not knowing what else to do, Duo decided that now was a better time than any to seduce Heero. Taking a step back, he tensed up. Then he started flapping his hands, standing on one leg. He moved his head up and down and left and right in small jerking motions.

Heero's eyes widened, and he stumbled backwards. "Wha- what are you doing?" Heero watched Duo in horror. Duo frowned a little, unsure of the reaction he was getting. Was this how an arouse partner was supposed to act? His friends didn't exactly tell him the actual reaction was except of copulation to follow. Gritting his teeth, he started again. Remembering what the sparrow told him, he stood up straight, pushing his chest out. He took one step closer to Heero, showing off his puffed up chest.

Heero looked at him like he was crazy. Grabbing the stolen sheet from the floor, he held it in his hands at arms length. Watching Duo advance, he leapt forward and wrapped the sheet around Duo and tied a knot. He pushed Duo to the ground and glared.

"He. . .hey!" Duo protested. "What is wrong with you?" He wiggled, trying to get free.

Heero stared at him, goggling, "You have the gall to ask me that? What about you Mr. Birdman, what the heck was that about? You come barging into my room and then start dancing like you're having a seizure."

With that, Heero threw the interloper out of his room and slamming the door behind him. Duo lay there for a while, lying on the cold stone ground, trussed up like a turkey. Duo looked at the floor, dazed and not entirely sure what had gone wrong, but he was certain that Heero hadn't become smitten with him suddenly. Duo wriggled and slowly and arm began to come free. He brushed the blankets off and stood up, taking a deep breath. He could do this, he could make Heero love him. He needed other mating rituals!

Duo spent the night in the hunting lodge, wondering at his day's failure. e was an elf princess, as odd as that sounded right now, and he didn't believe in failing. He would get Heero to fall head over heels with him if it was the last thing he did.

His mind ran randomly over the meeting he and his little animal friends had today. Hmmm. . . maybe that would work, he thought, his eyes filled with an unholy light that wouldn't bode well for those who knew him intimately. Yes, he had an idea that would work quite well, but first, he needed to find a duck.

Bright and early next morning found the elf tramping through the forest, his eyes searching anxiously for a bright coloured duck. "Come out, come out wherever you are," he said in a sing song tone, heading for the lake.

The lake spread before him and in the morning air, it was cool, misty and quiet. Not a single bird was in sight. it was as if they knew he was hunting for them. this was exceedingly odd. Besides, he wasn't even hunting them. Then his keen eyes saw something, trails leading toward the castle. He suppressed a groan. Why were his friend betraying him? Why must they abandon him for the castle? There was a perfectly nice lake right here where he could strip them naked of their feathers in privacy.

Duo sighed. Things just weren't going his way lately.

He trudged toward the imposing looking structure, wondering at the reception he was going to get in the castle today. He hoped to whatever powers that be that Heero Yuy would be buried under an avalanche somewhere

Seeing that winter was months away, it was a very possible thought.

Duo smiled to himself and chuckled at all the wonderful fates he could imagine for Heero unfortunately it involved him being dead and if Heero was dead, Duo would be a man forever

He groaned at the unfairness of it all and approached the pond behind the castle. There was a rather large gathering of ducks there. He should be able to catch at least one of them. He stood at the edge of the pond, his hands on his hips as he stared at the unoffending creatures. He was sure that there was at least a smirk amongst them

He looked around carefully, making sure that he didn't see anyone around - or at least anyone that would care that a fully grown elf was wading through a pond fully dressed - and stepped into the watery world the ducks were forcing on him.

Heero stared out over the lake; he looked in disgust at all the ducks roosting there. They had suddenly migrated from god knows where and decided to take up residency behind the castle. They left wonderful gifts all over the ground and the stone walls.

The young duke pulled his bow and arrow off his back, intending to bag at least one duck today for dinner. If they were going to hang around, they might as well serve some purpose. He cocked his arrow, smirking at how easy it was - what with them all sitting there - when suddenly they flew into the air, quacking and making all manner of noises.

He stared incredulously at the ducks and the crazy man chasing after them as if his life depended on it. Curiousity and rage built up inside him and he headed straight into the pond, straight towards the insane elf that was screwing up his life. Suddenly the chestnut haired man crowed in victory and the ducks cleared for a moment and he saw him triumphantly holding up a wad of feathers.

What in all that is holy are you doing in my pond?" Heero barked, frustrated, though in reality it wasn't his pond, just the castle's. It was bad enough that this... this... elf interrupted a tryst he had worked so hard at, but now he was trying to undress livestock as well? Was there no end to this creature's insanity?

Heero watched in slight amusement at the expression on the elf mans face. It was priceless. his arms dropped and fell to his side - trying to conceal the feathers. The elf looked away for a moment, seemingly in embarrassment, and then -to Heero's astonishment- he began placing the feathers in his tightly wrapped braid so that they were sticking up and out. Heero gaped.

Except for that wonderfully... dressed she-elf Heero had seen twice before, he was sure there were no sane elves left on earth. First that idiot was flapping his wings and now... now... now the elf decided to coiffe his hair right in the middle of his pond.

The elf's amethyst eyes bore into Heero's and he felt a little uncomfortable taking in that hopeful gaze from the elf, standing there as if waiting for Heero to pass judgment. Turning, not even wanting to respond to this craziness, he shook his head and headed back for the castle.

Well, that about sums it up. We are having so much fun writing this you can't even guess!

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AnnieTsu