Disclaimer: Neither Annie nor Tsu own GW ... if we did it would have been a very different thing. . .

CHAPTER 8

Duo stared morosely at the door leading to Heero's room. He couldn't believe that he was here again. Just what was wrong with him? He remembered all the elves at home telling him that when he grew up, he would never have problems attracting the opposite sex. So why was he having so many failures?

Of course now, he was the opposite sex

But then shouldn't it make it easier for him to comprehend the alternative gender? After all, understanding Quatre had been mighty easy. Of course, he never took into consideration that Quatre, in the right dress could easily pass off as a woman. . . and since he liked males... didn't that technically make him a... woman? Since Duo really was a woman, why was he having so much trouble!

He had quite courageously tried all the absurd tricks his friends had told him of – including dancing acrobatically around Heero. Duo thought that he had a rather lithe and graceful figure, so he was stumped as to why his wonderful moves did naught more than enrage Heero. After his cartwheels, somersaults and him walking on his hands, Heero seemed even angrier. He sighed again, louder and harder this time. He wondered if his friends we're right after all. The squirrels told him that running after someone with cartwheels and somersaults were one way to attract attention. And boy did it attract Heero's attention. The man ran in the opposite direction yelling virulent curses at him. . .

"What the hell are you doing, freak?" Heero yelled, looking over his shoulder at the advancing elf. Duo didn't respond, he felt that if he did, he might break his concentration. Instead he pulled himself onto a piece of furniture and did a very graceful back flip. That was when Duo realized just how differently men's bodies were from a womans, they just didn't bend the same way.

Heero stopped running, turning completely, his mouth agape as he watched the elf tumble onto the chair before crashing. "H – hey are you alright?" Duo groaned. That was not the correct move, but at least Heero was talking to him - instead of yelling. Duo stood slowly, trying to think of some sort of trick that could repair his blunder - none were coming to mind. Heero's concern was quickly disappearing, and his face was once more taking on that mottled red color. Duo decided at that point that he should leave.

It was a rather awkward exit.

Duo buried his face in his hands. It was just awkward, now that he had time to reflect. It was more like 'give me a hole to bury myself' kind of embarrassing. Sadly, that was nothing compared to what he tried after that. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Food always made him happy. . .

Duo peeked furtively around the corner, his nervousness easing slightly when he noticed that the hallway was empty. In his hand he clutched a heavy picnic basket, filled with food.

His friends had suggested worms and other grubs but he seriously doubted Heero had an appetite for those. Instead he had some nuts, a ton of berries and some onions. They were the best he could find on such short notice.

He pushed the door open quietly and slid into Heero's room. The duke was sleeping, thank goodness. He'd have a chance to approach the duke before being briskly removed from the room. He moved towards the bed, holding the basket close to his chest. Duo set the basket gently on the bed and opened it. He pulled out some berries wrapped securely in a cloth.

He pulled out a berry and stared, at a loss, not knowing how to present it to the duke. Deciding that feeding it to him was the best way, he slowly brushed the sweet purple berry across Heero's lips. Heero smiled and opened his lips inviting it in. Duo placed it in and then took another and then another. Slowly, Heero was rousing himself from sleep,

"Mmm, that's nice." His eyes opened slowly and he looked around. For a brief moment he had seemed pleased with what he had seen, and Duo's heart soared, but then his eyes darkened.

He seemed to be about to rise from the bed. Unable to allow that to happen, he jumped on the bed, trying to hold Heero down. "What the hell are you doing, elf?" Heero roared, struggling under the weight of the deceptively slim elf.

Straddling the dark haired man, he looked down. "It's a rather complicated story. In short, I'm feeding you."

"A complicated story? Do tell?" Heero said, still struggling to free himself.

Duo clamped his knees tighter around the man, struggling to keep hold of the rather ripe berry in his fingers. "This is a delicious berry, come eat." Duo urged, his voice reaching a surprisingly seductive pitch.

"Why would I?" Heero roared, arching up under Duo's weight, his pale skin turning a myriad of colors.

"Because I want to be female again!" Duo yelled out in frustration, or – at least meant to yell out – instead he had cried, "Because I want you up my ass!"

Heero looked apoplectic, "Get off of me now!" He exploded and was able to roll about two inches. Duo felt as if all hope he had was gone. If the man was this unwilling . . . this might just be one of the more futile undertakings of his career. Duo looked at Heero sadly, and Heero, meeting Duo's gaze, paused. Duo swallowed and removed himself from the bed and left the room. Thankfully, Heero hadn't followed him. . .

Duo stared at the door desolately, swallowing his pride. He hadn't wanted to do this, but he was desperate and he had under the best advice that this was a tried and true method. He opened the door and stared in, might as well do it quick. The braided man looked around in humiliation and began to – in a rather obvious way, despite his efforts – lower his pants. Duo clucked in annoyance, not yet used to the squirt gun style in which men . . . urinate.

The she-wolf had insisted that this was the best way. He needed to get rid of the other females, which he assumed were the whole problem with Heero's resistance to him. It was really simply, like marking territory, just one little... squirt.

Taking a quick look, he tried to drop his pants and hunker down all the way, but he could not force himself to do it. It was simply to large a blow to his pride. He froze in indecision.

Something crashed, breaking Duo's concentration and he turned to see the young woman he'd met earlier, Hilde that was her name, and the horrified look on her face. "Wh... what are you doing?" Her eyes dipped lower, noting his state of semi-undress and widened appreciatively.

Duo pulled his pants up so fast, he was liable to injure something. "I was - That is - I need to. . ." Duo shook his head - not able to come up with a good excuse.

Sensing Duo's embarrassment, Hilde turned to leave - but Duo chased after. "Wait, Hilde - it's not - I was only trying to get Heero to take a swim with me in the hot springs so that we would be hot and wet before we even started." Duo felt like smacking his head against a wall.

Hilde stumbled to a stop and turned to stare at the man in shock. There was obvious mirth swimming in her eyes. "NO!" Duo said loudly, realizing his mistake... "Please. . ." His voice was so pitiful that Hilde took a hesitant step toward him and patted his arm gently.

Hilde smiled, "Well, you seem to be having some troubles-" understatement of the year "– so how about I give you some lessons? Lessons that will actually work on His Grace - I've tried them myself." She winked and led Duo away from Heero's room, enjoying this more than anyone could know.

Duo had to work to close his mouth. Had someone... a human female finally agreed to teach him how to mate? Instead of working around these sometimes clueless animals? Oh, he knew where babies came from. One didn't live to be his age and not know; but how the egg and the little male seeds get into the female he really didn't know. And he found it odd that everyone suddenly had something important to do when he asked the question. Not wanting to make Hilde feel awkward he kept that question to himself and let her lead him away.

Half an hour later, Duo was staring agape at the woman. He couldn't believe what he just heard. Was it all true? Just a little wiggle of hips and men would fall apart? Then how were wars fought if the men were so weak? Okay, human males, elves were hardier than that.

Hilde had tried to demonstrate on him, but it had freaked Duo out, so he stayed back. There was one little problem though. . . he was still most definitely male. "What if he still doesn't want to?"

Hilde shrugged and responded casually, "Get him a drink or two." She looked a bit repentant, "But never, ever force someone to do something they don't want to. Thats rape."

Duo nearly hissed at that word. He knew all about rape. It was when a male wolf chased down a female wolf and tried to bite her nape until she submitted. Well, he would just have to make sure Heero wanted to mate with him. It was as simple as that. He had nearly shot the male wolf down and made his precious baby brother a new coat that spring until the female had yelled at him for trying to make her a widow. It was confusing then and was still confusing now, years later.

A sharp knock at the door broke off Duo's musings. Hilde jumped and realized quite suddenly that while she had been tutoring Duo, she had been shirking her responsibilities. "Duo, I'm so sorry, I have to go. Wait a bit before you leave... I might get in trouble if they see a guy leaving right after me." With that she jumped up and slid out the door. Duo heard a rather loud argument and then silence.

He looked around Hilde's room as he waited for some time to pass. She had an open trunk with about 3 similar dresses in it. He realized that he would probably need to get one if he was going to convince people that he was a girl - which was ridiculous because he really was a girl, they just didn't know it - nor could he prove it. Heero had seemed to taken Duo for a girl when he first visited the castle, so maybe if he could do that again, perhaps he would give him the time of day. Then suddenly the idea clicked. Yes, that was precisely his problem. It wasn't because he didn't know the rules of mating. It was because he needed to be a girl again!

How could he have been so blind, the birds weren't talking about a male attracting the attention of another male but a female. He would just have to put on a dress and then Heero would love him, as simple as that. Of course, he didn't have any dresses, and he wasn't going to try to find one. No, Quatre could do that, grinning sadistically, Duo left Hilde's room and headed for the lodge.

XxXxX

Quatre was still laughing, much to Duo's disgust. It had been fifteen minutes, Duo had timed it and still his little brother was laughing. Of course, Quatre hadn't been turned into the opposite sex - though Duo privately thought that it would be an improvement.

"You . . . you know you . . . don't even – even own . . . a – a dress?" Quatre managed through his laughter.

"Well, get one from someone else." Duo prompted, a bit put off by his brothers gaiety.

"And where do you suggest I get something like that?"

Duo smiled maliciously. "From your closet at home?"

Quatre lunged at his sister/ brother and tackled her/him to the floor. "I think that playing with the ducks has addled your brain." Duo had made a huge mistake in telling Quatre about the ducks.

Duo was more than willing to wrestle, and he did landing triumphantly on top of Quatre, "Can you get me one or not?"

Quatre rolled his eyes, "Maybe Trowa has one for you."

"Aaah, I see, Trowa also has dresses in his closet like you. No wonder you two get along so well."

Quatre glared at him and stood. "I don't have to help you Duo."

"Yes, actually you do," Duo smirked, "because I know that every time you go home, no matter how hard you try, you can't tell them that I'm safe. From what you've said, its a bit irritating, all that political turmoil and such." Duo grinned, "So to fix it, I have to be a girl again, so I need a dress."

Quatre started grumbling under his breath and walked out the door. In a grossly sweet voice, Duo called out, "Thank you little brother."

XxXxX

Trowa found his lover grumbling and doing his damnest to mutilate some innocent weeds as he came to his hunting lodge. "My love . . ." He began.

"I need a dress!" Quatre announced crossly.

Trowa looked a bit uneasy and was almost afraid to ask, "Why?" He blinked again and decided to forge on. "Not that you won't look perfectly gorgeous in one. You would look fabulous is maroon silk actually, it would go so well with your colour."

Quatre sighed in disgust, "Trowa?"

"What?" Trowa said, sensing he was treading on dangerous ground.

"Shut up." Quatre snarled and yanked at another plant, "Duo needs one."

"Duo? What would he. . .she. . .he. . .she. . .he. . ." He cleared his throat. "Why would it need one? I thought I gave it enough clothing?"

"It?" Quatre turned his attention to a lovely wild rose and began viciously pulling at it, "He wants to seduce someone - I don't know!"

Trowa wondered if it was possible to swallow one's tongue, he had come close just now, "What? Who? Why?"

"Finish with 'when' and 'where' and you have all the vital 5 'W's," Quatre glared balefully at his lover. "I don't know any details, he just said he needed one."

Trowa decided to back off before he was castrated by his increasingly irate and frustrated lover, all the while thinking of how to get a dress without people staring at him oddly. He also contrived to put a dress on his lover; he was sure Quatre would look absolutely adorable in it.

Quatre seemed to read his mind, "And don't even think of getting one for me. I - unlike my dear sibling - never was a girl." The elven prince then proved his manliness by pulling a dandelion straight out of the ground, roots and all.

"I'm sure the dandelion is very intimidated," Trowa muttered to himself, walking away.

XxXxX

"Duo..."

"No."

"But if I don't know, how can I get the best method to help you with this. . .this. . ." Quatre gagged. "...seduction?"

"No."

Trowa spoke up in an even tone, "We got you the dress Duo, you could repay our generosity by at least telling us what you are doing with it."

"No."

"For goodness sake Duo! What did I do to deserve such a stubborn sister?" Quatre glared at Duo, not realizing his slip.

"What did I do to deserve being turned into a. . . man?" Duo replied petulantly.

Despite Duo's outwardly manly appearance, she. . . erm, he was still a woman deep within, and all the stress, and failures were getting to him. Tears slowly collected at the corners of his eyes.

"Duo..." Quatre said warningly, not willing to put up with a sob session.

"What!" Duo jumped up, "I'm just trying to fix my problem! Thank you for your help, it is greatly appreciated, yada, yada, yada." If there had been somewhere to disappear to the braided elf would have, but no such luck.

Quatre couldn't help it, he snickered. Duo turned and looked at him wide-eyed. Quatre turned away and caught Trowa's eye. Trowa was fighting a losing battle and as soon as his lip quirked upward they both burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, Duo," Quatre gasped, "Its just that... if you really think about it. . ." He took in a huge gasp, "Its really rather funny."

Duo huffed, and stalked away, only realizing he didn't really have a place to stalk to. And if he didn't get this all sorted out, he wouldn't have a place to live anymore. And this was all that – that humans fault!

"If you had your fun with my misery, why don't you just get off your asses and help me become more of a woman." Duo suggested aloofly.

Quatre and Trowa stopped laughing for a second, stared at each other and burst out in mirth again. Duo growled, looked at them and then took a running leap and threw his brother. Instead of attacking Quatre however, he began tickling – viciously in Quatre's most ticklish spot, under his chin.

Trowa had begun to leap to his lover's defense, even knowing Duo wouldn't do anything to hurt his sibling – to much; but then was mesmerized by the sight of his Quatre giggling helplessly while another male tickled him. At first his mind worked on how to use this weakness to his advantage before jealousy set in. No other man but him could touch his Quatre. The tall man didn't even stop to think how utterly ridiculous this whole situation was, seeing that Duo was blood related.

"Alright, thats enough!" He hauled Duo up and off the blond prince. "No more." Duo struggled but his eyes were twinkling mischievously. Quatre struggled to his feet, wheezing a bit from his brush with death. The term 'tickled to death' was not to be used lightly, especially when it came to Duo and his nimble fingers

"Yes," Trowa growled. "We'll teach you whatever the hell you want if you would keep your grubby paws off my Quatre."

Duo stuck out his tongue, "I've probably seen this guy naked a hundred times more than you have." Of course Duo was referring to the days when Quatre was an infant, but what Trowa didn't know, wouldn't hurt him.

Trowa's low growl turned into a snarl as he advanced meaningfully on Duo, his hand hovering over the hilt of his sword. No one saw his Quatre naked except for him. NO ONE!

Quatre leapt between Trowa and Duo, "No! Trowa, Duo is my sexy little whore and I'm the only one who can hurt him." Quatre smacked his forehead, stupid curse. The last remark was so absurd however that it seemed to thrust Trowa back into reality.

Trowa and Duo turned toward the blond elf, all jaws hanging limply at the hinges. "What?" They both echoed.

Quatre shrugged weakly, "I didn't, I mean. . . ya know?" He looked at them pathetically.

Duo shook his head. "Can we just stop fighting and make me a woman?"

Quatre said quickly, "Yes, lets."

Trowa decided to let things go and quickly walked over to a bundle he had carried from town. It had taken a lot of trouble for him to get it, giving all sorts of excuses of why he needed a dress. He was sure there were rumours spreading like wildfire about his mistress and quite possibly, a few claims of his illegitimate heir might just come to the palace in a few months. For now he had these for Duo to try on. "Alright Duo, pick one."

Duo looked at the pile and stared at it thoughtfully. "Hmm, that red one will do." Trowa raised his eyebrows, no doubt the deep red would look good against Duo's pale skin, but it was a rather scandalous dress.

"Maybe you'd best try it on just in case."

Duo exhaled in irritation. This was exactly why he didn't like all that primping going on when he was an elven princess. A dress was a dress. As long as it kept his breasts in and it had a skirt, he was fine with it. Duo paused "Wait! I don't have breasts!" He exclaimed.

"Which is all good and well, considering you are a man," Quatre snickered.

"What am I going to do?" Duo was beginning to see a few problems with his plan . . .

"Well, you could fill some small leather sacks and wrap them around... your chest?" Trowa suggested. Duo was worried, Trowa almost sounded as if he had spent time considering it Trowa lifted some rolled up hose. "Or these?"

He put two of them to his chest over his nipples. "Would look quite real."

Duo looked away, a bit disturbed. "Give me those," he said and grabbing them and the dress he went into a corner to change. He tried to pull the dress over the top of his head first, but that was too difficult, so he dropped it to the floor and tried to pull it up that way. With a little twisting and scooting and jumping he was able to pull it up and over his waist. Then with a few curses added in he maneuvered his arms into the sleeves and pulled it into place. Grabbing the balled up cloth from the floor, he stuck it expertly into his dress, making a few adjustments before turning around. "Well?"

Quatre gaped at his brother. It was disturbing to admit while the elven princess Duo was indeed beautiful, Duo as a male was far more enchanting in a dress. Duo caught the appreciative looks and hastily pulled off the dress, "I'll take that as a yes."

Trowa cleared his throat, trying to shake the image of Quatre in that same dress, sitting in a darkened room, waiting for him to return and rip that dress of him and ravish him senseless. "Well," he stood abruptly. "Let's start with the training."

Duo pulled his shirt on and walked over to them, "What first?"

Quatre was suddenly very afraid, thoughts of how his (then) sister throwing pies at potential courters came to mind. For some reason, he felt that this was going to be a very long day.

Tbc...

XxXxX

Whoa... laughs

WooT! Another chapter done, powered by your reviews :opens arms wide: We love you all so much::tears up: I get so emotional sometimes.

Please review and let us know what you think. :hugs to all:

Annie-Tsu