"Surely this angel must have a name," I cooed dreamily.
"I've only been called that by one other. I'm sorry you are mistaken. If there is any title I deserve it is demon. You still have not seen the darker side of me. I'm afraid there are some things that I will have to hide from you. Not all music makes you float on clouds my dear." He said, once again converting into his cold unfeeling self. The harshness of his words made me tremble.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Your innocent ears have been deft to many things. There are feelings you have not yet truly discovered. Desire is too small of a word for what I can show you. I could also make you feel so much pain you wouldn't need to bother filling your body with food or drink. All the warmth from your body would leave you and your heart would barely utter a sound, but that is why I cannot show you. Your delicate ears would not be able to handle such a sound." He said. I could hear a swirl of wind by my ear as he raised his hand as if to touch my face.
"I want to feel. Please show me more." I begged him. For so long I had been numb. I wanted him to give me something to grasp, anything other then pain.
"Slowly child, I wouldn't want you to die of shock.
"I'm not a child!" I protested. I sighed and turned the bruised side of my face away from him and placed a hand on my mound of swollen flesh that now serves for a nose. It suddenly occurred to me how terrible I must look. I bit my lip to hold back tears.
"Is it terrible?" I asked, a bit afraid of his answer.
"I've seen worse." He commented.
He was just trying to avoid saying yes. I sighed and replied, "So basically I look terrible. What about my eyes? Will I ever be able to see again?" He paused for a moment. The silence made me choke with a wave of fear.
"I don't know." He said. With that I broke. I could no longer hold back my cries. I bitterly sucked in air and turned my face away to try and hide my tears. He didn't say anything. He understood my pain.
"The sun seems so far away now." I whispered.
"Welcome to my way of living." He said.
I desperately swirled around and tried to escape from his eyes. I didn't want to break down in front of him. The music was no longer in me. It no longer filled the empty pit that once held my heart. Now all that remains is a rotting pile of ash. My soul had turned to ash that day along with my love's body.
As I sank into my dark corner, I tried to erase the thought that was screaming within. Somehow I knew who this man really was. I had believed at first that his acts of kindness proved me wrong, but I always new. Despite these facts, madness still reins within my darkest core. I can no longer control it. I can only laugh in my despair. This laughter is not warm and lighting. This laughter shakes my soul and carries the icy cold stench of death. Regardless I still laugh in my defeat. I still laugh even though my mind has been scorched as well.
"Perhaps he is my dear Gian coming back as an angel. Yes, that is why he sings to me of how much he loves me. He is now an angel. That is why he is so talented. Yes, he's been to heaven, but God must have sent him back to me." I whispered out loud to myself while hugging my knees and rocking back and forth, not acknowledging the fact that not a single word I had mouthed had made any sense. My painful laughter had turned into a mass of hiccups. I carelessly swallowed my tears and began to drown within my own sorrow. This was my new lullaby, my sweet bitter song. The unwinding path of madness is now before my eyes.