AN: :Trumpet fanfare: I'm back! Bwahaha! With a new chapter! :cough: Okay, it's still MB season so I'm not writing much, but I finished this chapter so I figured I'd upload it when I uploaded all the edits. Which will probably be sometime this afternoon. So yay.
Chapter 22: Past and Present
Seraphim perused the wrinkled sheets of parchment that littered her desk. There isn't much time, they said. You must make a decision soon. She didn't know what to do. Draco had deserted his family for her, would she do the same? There were people counting on her to join the Order of the Phoenix; her aunt, Harry, Ron, and Hermione, Auror Moody. Many, many people.
Looking out at the seats in her empty classroom, she sighed. It was exams week. She would have until the end of the week to make her decision; that was her personal ultimatum. Seraphim sighed, it was Thursday; time was running out.
Smiling wryly, she stood and walked through the neat rows of desks. Filtered sunlight caught in her hair and made crazy patterns on the tables and chairs. 'This is where Hermione sits,' thought Seraphim idly. She could see the faint scratch marks of 'Hermione Granger, Gryffindor, Magic Theory' in the upper right hand corner of the desk, exactly where, if a sheet of parchment had been present, Hermione would writer her name on an assignment.
There, directly behind Hermione's, was Ron's seat. Seraphim chuckled; a tally had been set up in the lower left-hand corner. It read Seraphim: 12, Malfoy: 14. Seraphim thought back to the beginning of the year when she first found the tally. It had been tough to get Ron to say what exactly it was for. She'd laughed when he'd finally told her.
"How many times one of you has lost your temper with the other," he'd mumbled, pink to his ears.
Adjacent to Ron's desk was Harry's. Harry's desk was without visible scratches, but not without marks. A funny little ink drawing grumbled indignantly. It had previously been a picture of Harry and Ron in a mock-up Quidditch scrimmage. It had turned into a mud war and then the two stick figures had settled on playing never-ending games of tic-tac-toe. It seemed Harry was losing.
Walking to the back of the classroom, Seraphim chose to sit at Draco's desk. Running her hands over the polished wood, she realized that he was the only one who had not marked her beautiful desks. His desk was still smooth and unblemished. It saddened her in a way. For a long time, Seraphim sat in Draco's seat and thought of nothing in particular. She knew she was wasting time, but she didn't really care.
Musing over the marks on the different desks, Seraphim smiled wryly. It seemed the desks reflected battle wounds on each of the students. Harry's was, most evidently, his scar. Ron had retained a thin, red welt that, it seemed, would never fully disappear due to his encounter with the mutant brains at the Department of Mysteries. And over each of Hermione's eyelids was a small, dark star-shaped mark, the only evidence that a basilisk had ever attacked her. It was good, Seraphim reasoned, that Draco had no mark. She knew only too well what it would probably end up being.
A knock on the door snapped her out of her reverie. Looking up, Seraphim saw Harry leaning against the doorframe.
"It's lunch, Seraphim. Come on," he beckoned. Ron and Hermione could be seen behind him, discussing the last essay question on their Charms exam.
"All right, give me a minute," she sighed, making her way to the front of the room and stuffing the scattered papers in a drawer.
At lunch, it seemed that many of the fifth and seventh years were close to having mental breakdowns. They practically inhaled their food and were mumbling the twelve uses of dragon's blood or listing the procedure for a vanishing potion. Poor Ginny Weasley was falling asleep in her food. Seraphim knew that Ron had woken her at the crack of dawn to help her get in some extra study time for her O.W.L.s.
Across the hall, Draco was picking idly at something that appeared to be chicken but might have been something else entirely. His head hurt, his eyes were sore, and his neck was getting a cramp. Damn exams. Just as he was about to fall face-first into a pudding of some sort, Blaise jostled him alert.
"Are you going to eat that?" asked the darker boy, pointing at a biscuit on Draco's plate. "It's just such a waste to waste food, you know. Especially food with chocolate sprinkles."
Draco rolled his eyes. "Have the exams taken no toll on you at all?" he asked, irritated.
"Well, the exams aren't all you're worrying about, are they?" Blaise winked at the blonde while swiping the sugar-infested treat.
"Don't know what you're on about," Draco muttered darkly, reaching for a few chocolate-covered almonds. He proceeded to attempt to fall asleep at the table.
"It's not as if I'm blind," Blaise continued, as if Draco hadn't initiated the end of the conversation. "I know you're planning to ask-"
"And what if I am?" asked Draco hotly, glaring at his friend. "It's none of your business." He made a small noise of irritation and set about gathering his things. "I'm going to be late for the History of Magic exam."
Watching the blonde stomp off, Blaise chuckled. Irritating Draco was so much fun if you knew which buttons to press. And sometimes it really paid to be close to Pansy Parkinson.
Sighing as he exited the double doors, Draco grumbled to himself. The History of Magic exam wasn't due to start for at least another ten-fifteen minutes. Walking slowly along the corridors so as to take up as much time as possible getting to his destination, Draco fingered a thin chain in his pocket. He then absent-mindedly fingered an identical chain around his neck. Tucking his chain under his robes, Draco looked around warily, as if he were being followed, and continued on his way.
Back in Gryffindor tower, Seraphim paced the common room. Exams wouldn't be over for at least another hour, but Seraphim wished for much longer. What to do, what to do. The Order could really use her unique gifts. But fighting against future parents-in-law…
Seraphim stopped herself. Parents-in-law, where had that come from? Shaking her head, Seraphim continued her pacing. Fighting against people. It was so pointless. She was a relatively peaceable character, fighting when provoked but preferring to stay on the sidelines. She never quite understood team sports; weren't they just the same thing as a mock-war? One of her favorite quotes was 'war does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.' But she was tangenting.
She wanted to help. But she wanted to prove that she could make the same sacrifice Draco was making. 'I'm being selfish.'
The portrait hole opened and the fifth and sixth years all filed in, exhausted. Seraphim quickly made a beeline for Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "So, how was it?"
"Awful," Harry groaned.
"Good thing there's only Care of Magical Creatures and Astrology left," Ron sighed. "I might just keel over if there were more."
Seraphim nodded absent-mindedly.
"Are you all right?" asked Hermione, waving a hand in front of Seraphim's face.
"Yes," Seraphim blinked a couple times. "Just tired."
Satisfied, the other three quickly commandeered a table and set up their books, quizzing each other every so often. Smiling wryly, Seraphim watched as they hurriedly squeezed information from their notes and books, rushing to beat the clock. Thirty minutes left until their next exam, twenty…ten.
"You'd better get going, you'll be late," she said finally, tapping Harry on the shoulder.
"Hm?" he glanced at his watch. "Oh, come on." Grabbing hold of Ron and Hermione, they bolted.
Left alone again, Seraphim lost herself in thought.
A half hour later, she found herself sitting atop a hill. Their hill. How she'd gotten there, Seraphim could only wonder, but as she gazed out over the lake, spotting Hagrid attempting to calm down some first years who had accidentally set fire to the creature they were studying, she felt puzzled. She wanted to join the order, but only to protect those who needed protection. The battlefield held no place for her.
Confused, she looked around and was surprised to see a lone figure watching her. Seraphim smiled and beckoned to her visitor.
"Hello Draco."
A wry smile graced Draco's lips. "What were you thinking so intently about?" he chuckled. "I've been standing here for a good ten minutes and you haven't said a word."
"Just…things." Seraphim shrugged.
"Things?" Draco grinned, settling down next to her. "What kind of things?"
"People," she paused. "You." She sighed heavily. "Moody."
"Ah." Draco sat up, "Moody."
"Yes, Moody." Seraphim buried her face in her hands. "I don't know what to do."
"What do you want to do?" asked Draco, watching her intently. He wrapped an arm around her. "Whatever you do, it will be all right with me. I promise," he whispered, the corners of his mouth raising just a little.
"I want to…take care of the people I love. I don't want to hurt people, but I don't want…I don't want to stand idly by while people I love get hurt. But I don't want to fight. I want…" Seraphim looked away and frowned. "I want it all to stop. I want to just be us."
Draco looked Seraphim squarely in the eye. "That's exactly what I want."
"Huh?"
"To look after the ones I care for, and most of all to look after you." He smiled softly. "I love you." Draco sighed and looked toward the setting sun, "Help your friends the same way that I'm going to help mine. Help to take care of them and nurse them back to health. Protect them without the intent of hurting others."
"When did you become so wise?" asked Seraphim tilting her head. Then she frowned. "But if we're helping people on different sides, how will we…what will we…what will happen to us?"
Draco bit his lip. "I don't know. Maybe we'll have to disappear."
Startled, Seraphim stared at Draco in shock. "What?"
"Us. Maybe we'll have to disappear. Maybe we'll have to stop being us for…however long it takes," Draco shut his eyes as if the statement were painful. "It's the only thing I can think of."
"Do you mean…keeping us a secret-"
"No." Draco sighed heavily. "I mean…completely stopping." He shut his eyes tightly. "Seraphim, I love you. You know I love you; that's why we need to do this. We both want to help people we care about without the other getting hurt and…I think this is the only way."
Seraphim stared at Draco in disbelief. "But…we…are you…" Confusion welled up in Seraphim's eyes. "What are you saying?"
"Seraphim, I love you. And I want you to wait for me." Draco pulled a long, silver box-chain from his pocket. Swaying in the middle was a band of silver flowers veined with gold. Draco took the ring between his fingers and examined the small star-cut diamond flanked by a tiny ruby on one side and a small emerald on the other.
Seraphim leaned back a little, eyebrows raised. "Draco, what are you doing?"
In response, Draco tugged on his collar to draw a similar chain and ring hanging around his neck. "Don't worry, I'm not proposing," he smirked. "It's something called a promise ring." Draco leaned his forehead against Seraphim's, "I promise there will never be anyone but you."
Seraphim looked at Draco, hesitant. "You want me to wait for you," she repeated, blankly.
Suddenly unsure, Draco nodded. "Yes."
Taking the chain from his hands, Seraphim examined the piece of jewelry. "It might be a long time," she mused, almost to herself.
"Seraphim, please," Draco clasped her hands in his. "Please," he pleaded, "wait for me. I promise I will wait for you."
Freeing her hands, Seraphim unclasped the chain and, dragging Draco's hands with her own, slipped it around her neck. Closing her eyes, she whispered, "I promise."
It began to drizzle.
Yay. So please leave some reviews. Or something. Because they make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. And hey, the warm fuzzies may help to battle the cold I've caught. J Thank you.