Of Secrets and Sanity

We walked out to the lake where the giant squid lived. He suddenly plopped down on the ground next to me and patted a path of grass next to him. So I sat down next to him, and looked towards the castle.

"You know, we're probably the only two students over the age of 12 in the whole school right now?" he said, smiling at me.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked.

"Well, nothing. Just a fact that's kind of cool to think about."

"What are you getting at…?"

"Nothing! I swear." He said, "Let's just talk."

"What could we possibly have to talk about?" I asked.

"Well, if you think like that, then nothing." He said as he observed a dandelion in front of us. "So how are you and Malfoy?"

"Okay, that's totally not your business." He said, shocked. What a freak! He had know right to know what was going on in my personal life.

"Yeah, your right I guess. I was just trying to make conversation, since it was you that wanted to come here anyway." It was silent for a while.

"How about this," I said, "You tell me about Lavender Brown, and I'll tell you about Draco." He looked at me in this thoughtful way that bugged me. "Well?"

"Okay, but you go first."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because it was your idea."

"Fine. Draco and I are perfectly happy." I lied.

"Really? I wouldn't have guessed that…you know whatever is said at the lake, stays at the lake." He said. Like I was really going to spill my guts to this guy.

"Draco and I…we're not exactly in the best place right now." I said. Wow. What am I doing? Do I even listen to myself these days? "It's kind of complicated nothing you would understand."

"Try me."

"MY parent's worst fear is that I won't end up with Draco. Like, if I screw up with him, my life is ruined. Or they're life or whatever, because our parents are friends and I guess, I was sort of promised to him. It's weird, because I remember wanting Draco with everything I had up until this summer. I guess I get bored with things to easily." I said. I felt the tears dwell in my eyes but if anyone thought I would cry in front of Seamus Finnigan…they…they were right. "I'm a horrible person for leading him on like this."

I looked at Finnigan. He was sort of glaring into the grass. What was he going to do? Just let me sit here and cry? I'm not allowed to cry my parents have practically forbid it. But the tears just keep coming down. I thought about everything that used to make me cry when I was little and I just let it all out. They could probably hear me from Hogsmeade. So I just sat there for about 5 minutes before he spoke.

"Me and Lavender, we broke up because of something…someone did. But I forgave them." He said.

"What did they do?" I asked between tears. He was silent for a while.

"It was a mistake, because I know he didn't mean too but…god, I liked her so much. Everything about her, it was like, we were obsessed with each other and it was the best feeling in the world-"

"Was it love?" I asked.

"Maybe. Maybe it was just a feeling that was so strong it became close to love, but didn't exactly make it-"

"What exactly happened between you two?"

"Umm ok. We were dating for like 4 years, right?" he said and I nodded my head, "Well I found out last year that her…her and Dean were secretly running around with each other. I mean he didn't know what he was doing…well he did but he was going through something last year and I guess he feeling just changed towards me." He said in a quiet voice. I felt like crap at the moment because what I liked best about this guy right now was that he could possibly have as much sadness as I do. I liked to know that I wasn't the most heartbroken person in the world.

"About Thomas, what was he going through?" I asked slowly, I wanted to know, but what if he didn't want to tell me.

"His dad…I guess…Pansy let's talk about that another time. The others are coming back soon so-"I cut him off in a hug. The only person I have ever hugged on my own will have been Draco. I pulled away and he smiled at me.

"What was that for?" he asked. I wanted to say something mean, like I always do, but…

"For just listening." I said, he was about to say something but Dean and Lavender came running up to us. They stopped when they saw me. I glared at both of them as Seamus stood up.

"Well, I'm going to head back to the Castle."

"We'll go with you, Shay." Lavender said without taking he eyes off me. I knew life just got a hell of a lot more interesting for me.

So, there's chapter 5. R&R please. I don't know how soon I can get chapter 6 up. X3