Crystal: Hi weee'ree BAAAAACCCK!
Phoenix: (Walks out in her pajamas and whining) Why are you awake? I don't want to do a chapter now. It's 3 am.
Crystal: It's 4pm. You slept the morning away.
Phoenix: I slept with the morning? He better have kept his hands to himself.
Crystal: The morning is a she. (Trying to psyche her out)
Phoenix: ……………….Oh my god, what did I drink last night. I grabbed its ass.
Crystal: I'm kidding. You didn't sleep with the morning. (Quiet) What did you grab?
Phoenix: The monkey! (Horrified) He's at it again! Why did I ruin its life?
Crystal: You spiked your own coffee that day.
Phoenix: Oh, that was a great day. Good times good times….. (Eyes glaze over)
Inu-Shopping (The sequel to Inuyasha meets appliances)
Inuyasha jumped through Kagome's window carefully, seeing as he wasn't sure where Kagome was and if she was still angry. He shook off the snow that had fallen last night and looked around and sighed, the coast was clear. He sniffed for Kagome's scent and was happy when he realized she wasn't home, he opened her door and looked up and down the halls.
"Hi! What are you doing?" Inuyasha yelped and spun around to come face to face with evil AKA: Souta.
"Oh, it's just you. I thought you were Kagome."
Souta smiled a chocolaty smile. "She went through the well looking for you. Don't worry, she'll be back soon."
Inuyasha froze. "She'll be back?" He immediately began running for the stairs so he could get out of there, though he forgot about the window he came in through. He opened the door to the front of the house and froze in terror.
"Kagome," he squeaked.
Kagome gave him a sugary smile and said. "Hi. I have something to tell you Inuyasha." She poked him with a snowy umbrella that had a sharp end.
"Now, Kagome think about this, you need me!" Inuyasha yelled as he was pushed onto the couch.
She sat down beside him. "What are you talking about? I just want you to come with me to the mall."
Inuyasha looked at her skeptically. "The…..mall? Oh…." He breathed again.
Kagome giggled. "What do you think I was gonna say, that I was going hang you by your feet on our roof?"
Inuyasha chuckled nervously. "Ha…ha….no, that's…… that's just silly."
Kagome smiled. "Where's Souta? He's coming too."
At that exact second a small blur flew by them and out of the house screaming.
Kagome looked out the open door. "…..Oh, well, there he goes."
Mrs. Higurashi came through the door. "Did I just see Souta running down the street screaming for mercy?"
Kagome nodded and said. "Are you ready to go? I got Inuyasha."
Mrs. Higurashi grinned. "Then let's go!" Together they pulled Inuyasha into the driveway.
"What the hell is that?" Inuyasha asked when he saw the car sitting in the driveway.
"It's a car, now get in, we don't have all day." Kagome said, bouncing up and down from excitement.
"No way in hell am I going to get in that thing!" Inuyasha pulled out the Tetsusaiga and lunged at the car.
"Sit." Kagome said calmly and pulled Inuyasha into the backseat, "You will sit here and behave, ok?"
Inuyasha sulked at not having his way as the car began moving. He soon saw other contraptions that looked slightly alike.
"What the hell…." Inuyasha trailed off as they stopped at the front of the mall. He was shocked to see many cars, all just sitting there.
Inuyasha continued staring until Kagome poked him. "Let's go. You take too long!"
Kagome grabbed his hand and led him through the sea of metal; not noticing every time they went by one he'd tense up.
Inuyasha walked into the shop and winced at the smells that came attacked his nose and with them came sales ladies.
"Would you like to try this new perfume for men?" One said and she sprayed in his face.
Another held a make up kit. "Miss, would you like to try our new, amazing beauty line?" The woman smiled, putting some lipstick on him.
"MISS!" Inuyasha screamed, "I ain't a girl!"
The sales woman leaned back, blinking confusedly. "But you have such feminine features."
"I DO NOT!"
Kagome sighed. "Let's not waste time talking about you masculinity….or lack thereof." She whispered the last part, though it didn't escape Inuyasha. Kagome pulled him past the scary sales women and into a store. Inuyasha looked around, a bit confused by the bright colors.
"I'm going to try these out. You stay here, okay?" Kagome said, grabbing some clothes and walking into a booth.
Inuyasha sat down and looked around uncomfortably. All of a sudden he heard soft giggling and turned to see 3 men and 2 girls looking at him. One of the men approached him. "Yo, dude. Has anyone ever told you it's not cool for a guy to wear make up?"
Inuyasha gaped before getting up and looking in a mirror nearby. "What the hell!" He stared at his reflection and what he saw was a man with messily made lipstick on that went from his lips and around his eye to his cheek.
"Inuyasha, what's wrong?" He turned around to see Kagome looking at him.
"What's wrong! Why didn't you tell me?"
Kagome blinked. "Um, I….forgot?"
Inuyasha growled but kept his anger under control.
"How about you go wash that off?" Kagome pushed him into the bathroom in the store.
When Inuyasha came out he looked for Kagome. "Kagome, Kagome?" He looked around and panicked as he saw Kagome wasn't around. He sniffed the air and was relieved when he smelt her nearby.
Inuyasha walked out of the store, following Kagome's scent, and saw her with three girls and a guy. "So, we heard you came down with glucosefructose-itis (A/N: We got that off a juice box)."
"……Really? Well, that is interesting." By the look on Kagome's face Inuyasha guessed her grandfather wouldn't be around to tell lies anymore. Inuyasha walked up to them and tapped Kagome's shoulder. She turned around and her eyes widened as if she had forgotten she had even brought him, "Inuyasha!"
"Why'd you go?"
Before Kagome could answer Hojo, one of Kagome's friends spoke. "Who's he, Kagome?" Inuyasha didn't like the way he was looking at her.
"Umm, he's…..a family friend! Yeah, that's it!"
Inuyasha stared at them like they were crazy before grabbing Kagome's arm and pulling her away. Once they were far away he stared deep into her eyes. "Kagome…"
Kagome's breath caught in her throat. "Yes, Inuyasha…"
"You can never see that guy again."
Kagome gaped, opening her mouth and then closing it again. "What…how dare…you big..." she stammered.
Inuyasha gave her a superior look before walking into a nearby store. He had turned away so he didn't see the evil look on her face. Inuyasha looked around and frowned at all the frilly things. He grabbed one of them and sniffed. It was strange; it had two holes on the bottom and one big one on the top. It had frilly things on the side holes.
"Do…you want to try those panties on?" Inuyasha turned to a sales woman, giving him a weird look.
"Panties..?"
"Yes, though you seem more like a large then a petite. But don't worry; you wouldn't believe how many men come in here."
Inuyasha stared, silently. It wasn't until he looked out of the store and saw Kagome nearly keeling over with laughter that he was hit with a flashback. (Phoenix: Whoa! Hold on, here comes a flashback! Crystal: These things always make me sick)
Flashback
Inuyasha snuck into Kagome's room and sniffed around. When he was sure she wasn't around he immediately walked up to a cupboard he had been eyeing for days. He opened it up and took out a pink fabric. He took a deep breath and grinned at the smell of Kagome wafting from them.
"Inuyasha!"
Said dog boy whirled around to see Kagome with her hands on her hips. "Kagome!"
"Inuyasha, what do you think you are doing?"
Inuyasha stayed silent.
"Stop sniffing my panties!" Then Kagome spent the next five minutes telling him what panties were.
End
Inuyasha's eyes widened before dropping the panties on the floor. "Gah!"
The sales woman looked at him curiously. "I guess you want me to put those on layaway for you?"
Inuyasha stared at her and ran out of the store. "Kagome, why didn't you warn me!"
Kagome grinned. "Mmmm, thought about it, didn't want to." She grabbed on his hand, "Let's go home."
"……..Fine……" Inuyasha said, disgruntled and wanting to get out of the hell hole called 'The mall.'
Mrs. Higurashi was waiting for them in the parking lot. "Did you have fun?"
Inuyasha answered before Kagome could even open her mouth. "No!"
"Good because we're going back….tomorrow."
Phoenix: Oh yeah!
Crystal: OH YEAH!
Inuyasha: OOOOOOOHHH YYYEEEEAAAHHH! (Puts on sunglasses)
Phoenix: He out 'yeah'ed' us! GET HIM!
Crystal: (Attacks)