THIS IS A ONE SHOT AND SHALL RAMAIN ONE SHOT ONLY! Thank you, have a nice day. Sadly, the first section is based off of a real experience playing Suikoden IV.
The nameless hero of Suikoden IV, now known as Eyes, since that's what I named him in my game, walked around a dark corridor in a dungeon. It was dark and damp, with monsters running around everywhere, or so everyone said. Our friend, the Rune of Punishment's bearer, had yet to run into anything dangerous; only a bunch of Jellymen and Killer Rodents.
Ahead of him was a huge box. 'Wow! What luck! Treasure Chests in a dump like this?' thought Eyes happily. He walked over and yanked open the lid. Suddenly, a glowing fur ball jumped out.
Everyone in the party was ready to fight. They all had the strongest weapons they could get in the Kingdom of Obel, which was level 6. They all fought, but everyone died almost instantly at the Angel Hairball's attack. Now, Eyes was the only one left, and he was very badly injured. He couldn't escape; he had tried that since Tal had died. He pulled out of his pocket a ton of Potch, threw it at the monster, and ran for his life. He had just barely managed to survive.
"Now, what have we learned class?" Katarina was standing in front of a movie projector screen. She had been lecturing a class, got sick of talking to brain-dead students who wanted the weekend to start, and turned on the movie to rest. What was funny was the fact that half the class took the running time of the video to rest too. Only a few random students tentatively raised their hands. "Hmm... Michail?"
"Um..." the scrawny boy named Michail stood up at a sudden snickering in the class. She always chose him, since he never actually paid attention. "Don't open treasure chests that are in the middle of dungeons?" The class behind him roared with laughter.
"Close, but no. That's the way we get good equipment that's not normally sold in store. Anyone else?" Katarina's eyes bore into every student, finding another 'victim' to ask the dreaded question to. "Lillya?"
A tall girl with glasses stood up. She was slightly pale from lack of sunlight since she practically lived in the library. Being a smarty-pants was her specialty. "If you cannot defeat or escape from a monster, give it Potch to make it flee."
"Correct, Lillya. But realize that this tactic doesn't always work. Sometimes, monsters refuse to be bribed. Now, here's the next 'learning video'. Pay close attention this time!"
Chiepoo had run up the cliff and grabbed a crab on the deserted island Eyes and his friends were stuck on. "Now I got you!" He said triumphantly. "I get a yummy snack now!" Suddenly, there was an earthquake, knocking Chiepoo to his knees so that he dropped the crab.
A huge gray crab, which was twice the size of Chiepoo, uncurled, revealing that it wasn't the bolder he had thought it was originally. Chiepoo was then surrounded by what were probably its babies, and was chased around in circles.
"Now, that was much shorter, so you should have been able to listen. So, what did you learn?" Katarina repeated the scariest question ever. She sighed, since Lillya was the only one to raise her hand. "Lillya?"
"Don't try to capture monsters, especially ones that probably get a lot bigger than you," she smiled. It must have been nice to know that you were always right and that no human being would ever dare argue with you.
"Sorry, Lillya. That's not the thing you should have learned," Katarina said slowly. "You are mistaken."
A deafening silence filled the room as everyone stared with open mouths; it was quickly remedied with a lot of murmuring.
"Quiet!" Katarina yelled, "Before I send you all to the Commander!" ((I haven't beaten the game, so I don't know who the Commander is after Snowe, or even if the Academy does anything anymore at the end. DON'T TELL ME THE END!))
Everyone settled down with that threat. No one ever wanted to see the Commander; they didn't even ignore his lectures. They always go the 'you-know-what-happened-to-that-one-person-who-disobeyed-the-Commander' speech if they broke a rule. They were so used to the speech and crummy videos that they didn't even realize the movies were ABOUT that one person who disobeyed the Commander's orders.
"Bobby?" asked Katarina, happy that everyone had listened to her, like always.
A fat boy stood up. He had potato chip crumbs all over his face, so it was obvious he was eating again. The Commander always took away his candy and told him he'd be expelled from the academy if he kept eating and became too out of shape to lift a sword or drowned from being too heavy to float in the water. Of course, these talks had no affect on his eating habits; all they did was make him hide his junk food. "You have to pour warm butter over giant crabs to defeat them quickly."
"That is," Katarina looked at her notes. Apparently, she had not been expecting an answer from anyone after Lillya's being wrong. "Wow... I can't believe it..." She was shocked. "That's absolutely correct..."
After the class was over, everyone was still too shocked that Bobby, the boy who shared the shape and brain of a cow, actually showed up Lillya. Of course, Bobby was expelled from the Naval Academy after the Commander found 10 pound bags of Jolly Ranchers and Potato Chips.
THE END!
Hope you liked it. This is a one shot, and hopefully will stay that way. If I get millions of reviews to continue, however, I might make a new chapter in a few months because I love you all!