Naruto Farm
Summary: The four Jounin teachers have decided that their students need a little "companionship". In an attempt to rid the world of loneliness, they have sent their students to Animal Farm, the farm for all your animal needs. In other words… pure madness. Pairings: ShikaIno, NejiTen, SasuSaku, KibaHina.
Dedicated to: Apple-chan (Naruto and Shaman King forever!)
Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine. (short and simple)
Animal Farm
"Animal Farm. The farm for all your animal needs," read Sasuke in a monotone voice.
"Who came up with this dumbass idea?"
"Ummm. N-naruto-kun, T-the t-teachers,"
"Teachers? What right do THEY have of sending us here? They don't have any, right Hinata?"
"Shut up loser, you're bothering Sasuke-kun,"
"You're bothering Sasuke-kun, Ino-pig. Stop yelling,"
"I'm stuck on a bus with idiots,"
"EVEN ME, MY NUMBER ONE RIVAL, THE BEAUTIFUL GREEN BEAST OF KONOHA?"
"I think especially you, Lee,"
"I second that. This is so troublesome."
"Food…"
"… … … … …"
It is indeed what you thought it was folks. The Naruto characters are on their way to Animal Farm, sent there by the beloved teachers. Let's revisit that event, shall we?
"I WANT A DOG," said Gai, out-of-the-blue at one of the weekly teacher meetings that the four jounins usually had well… every week.
"Well, I want a cat," Kurenai said, just to show that she wanted something too.
"I want a fish," said Asuma.
"I want the sixth volume of Icha Icha Paradise," Kakashi said with a lecherous grin, even if you couldn't really tell behind the mask.
"I wonder what our students would like, Christmas is coming, we could get them all pets," Kurenai asked.
"Sasuke'd probably murder his," Kakashi said, "just to get it to shut up at night."
"Chouji'd probably eat it," Asuma admitted sadly.
"MY STUDENTS WOULD TAKE THE UTMOST CARE OF THEM ALL. FOR THEIR YOUTHFUL GLOW WOULD NURTURE THE LITTLE BEAUTIES TO THEIR UTMOST POTENTIAL THEY COULD RECEI-" Gai began.
"Shut up Gai, Neji'd Gentle Fist it into next week cause it, I don't know, licked a Main House member's hand," Kurenai scoffed.
"NO HE WOULDN'T. NEJI WOULD NOT STOOP TO SUCH A LEVEL AS ATTACKING AN INNOCENT ANIMAL," Gai yelled.
"I bet you he would," Kurenai said.
"HE WOULDN'T," Gai screamed.
"FINE, LET'S JUST SEE. WE'LL SEND ALL THE KIDS TO ANIMAL FARM," Kurenai yelled, holding up a pamphlet she conveniently had close at hand, "THE TEACHER THAT HAS THE STUDENT THAT TAKES THE BEST CARE OF THEIR PET AND CAN PROVE IT AT THE END OF THE WEEK WINS."
"FINE! I WILL PROVE MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS CAN DO IT!"
"Ok, as long as the winner gets the sixth volume of Icha Icha Paradise"
"… I don't really care."
And so it begins
The bus had stopped in the parking lot of Animal Farm and drove away before anybody cough Sasuke, Neji, Shino cough, could run back on.
"Well, let's go in then," Sakura said nervously.
Sasuke scoffed, "Like I would lower myself to enter that building of doom."
"I'll go with you Sakura," Naruto said gallantly.
Sasuke glared and walked in before Naruto could make a move and beat him to the door. Everyone else followed suit, except Neji and Shino.
Both of them stood there, Neji gave a sideways glance at Shino and hurriedly followed the others. Shino sighed and followed.
The "farm" was remarkably high-tech. There were stalls that lined the walls, which were made of metal. A neon sign on each door had an animal's name.
"Wolverine, Order Carnivora, Family Mustelidae, Genus Gulo gulo." Tenten read and looked in the window. Only to jump back when an enormous something leapt at her. Tenten quickly walked away from that stall.
"MORNIN'" a loud voice came from the speakers in a very southern tone, "Welcome to ANIMAL FARM. The farm for all your animal needs. You have entered the mammal building, the largest of all the buildings. My name is Ted and I'm here to explain how Mammal farm is organized. To the left are the carnivore mammals, to the right are the omnivores and at the end of the barn are the herbivores. The names, order, family, and genus are listed on the door. If you are interested in anything you see, please press the blue button next to the animal and a specialist will come to talk to you. Thank you for visiting Mammal Farm and have a good day."
Silence filled the barn. The stalls were obviously soundproof, blocking all sound from the occupants within.
Shino voiced everyone's thoughts, "… … …" Not really.
Lee spoke first in a voice drastically different from his normal exuberant tone, "I guess we have to find an animal that we are interested in and press the blue thing."
"That's what the person in the intercom said Lee. Congratulations on your deciphering skills," Neji said dryly.
"Well, you all can stand there until hell freezes, but I for one am actually interested in getting an animal so I'll start looking," Ino said sniffly.
"Hell no, Ino-pig, I'll find a cuter animal than you and I'll name it Sasuke, after the best human in the world," Sakura replied.
"NOT IF I NAME IT FIRST, FOREHEAD GIRL."
Both dashed off to look into all the stalls.
"Ok," Tenten said, "I guess I'll look too."
Everybody dispersed to look at all the animals to choose from, except Neji and Shino.
Both of them stood there, Neji gave a sideways glance at Shino and hurriedly went to look too. Shino sighed and followed.
It was going to be a rather long day.
A/N So? How is it? Review please and if you have any requests on who gets what animal, please add it to your review along with why you think it should be added and I'll consider it. THANKS! Constructive Criticism and Comments are welcome.