I'm Not Okay
A Joint Fic By
Hitokiri-Kitsune and XeroKitty
Kitty's Notes: Yay, joint fic! Kyuubi-chan's muse seduced my muse, and this is the result! Total insanity! XP Like she said, though, I don't know where the hell this story is going! I'm just letting it write itself out!
Chapter 2
He really didn't know what possessed him that morning to go up into the attic. Not that you could really call it that, anyway. It was an extension of his bedroom closet roof that gave it an extra five feet: perfect for storing things that he never wanted to see again. Like the damn photo album. How long had it been up there, anyway? Six years? Seven? Maybe even eight; who knew? He wasn't keeping count anymore. But when he opened the faded green book and looked down on the picture of his old team, something inside him broke. Naruto had spent half the morning flipping through the old album's pages, spotting the familiar faces of his friends… His friends. Ha.
The last time he had seen Kakashi was after he had been given his dismissal papers from the head office. Iruka too. All the older man could say was a mumbled "I'm sorry, Naruto" as they practically threw him out of the Hokage's place. Kiba had been there to taunt him a little longer then that, but eventually he and Shikamaru and even Neji had just kind of…drifted. Hinata had tried for so long to get close to Naruto, but now she was with Kiba and off as well. He could still remember the last thing she had said: "I'm sorry…" They were always sorry.
He didn't want anybody to feel sorry for him, he wanted them to pay a-fucking-ttention. That was his biggest problem, he thought: he craved attention. It seems that the only way he could get that through their heads was by acting crazy. Ha. Who knew I was never acting? Sakura had lost touch with him ever since Sasuke lost touch with them both, and Naruto had just let them go. Who was he to stop these people from walking out of his life? Besides, he was used to being alone.
But, you're never alone.
And there she was. It never fucking failed. I'm here with you, little Naruto. Go away, you crazy bitch. Am I really the crazy one? Get out of my fucking head! No, no. This is MY fucking head. I'm here to stay. Oh goodie. He figured throwing himself out of the window wouldn't do much; the Kyuubi's healing powers were astounding. And the bitch always made him land on his feet. She really didn't want his body damaged in any way; Naruto couldn't even begin to guess why. And right now, thinking about the demon sealed away inside his body was giving him a massive headache. He had to distract himself somehow, before that happened again. He shivered. He didn't want that to happen again.
He looked down at the open album. And blinked. He had forgotten about this picture. Slipping the photo from under the thin plastic protector, Naruto held it up and looked at it for a long time. It was a photograph Kakashi had taken, of all people, and it was of the blond and his old partner. They had just finished a huge round of training, Naruto remembered, and had sat down to rest under the huge oak by the river. With the heat of the late afternoon and the weariness from over-exertion, the two boys had fallen asleep, Naruto with his head leaning against Sasuke's shoulder, and the other boy's head resting atop his.
Kakashi had given it to him later on, and he had put it in here because at one point in his life, he actually enjoyed looking at all these pictures that awakened feelings inside of him. But he hadn't pulled this album out since the day he had gone crazy and Tsunande and her council had seen fit to ban him from the shinobi practices "for the overall safety of the citizens". So, now that Naruto had nothing to do and all the time in the world on his hands, and Kyuubi basically had free reign.
Poor, sad, crazy Naruto.
He dropped the photo of Sasuke and himself on the bedside table and rose, throwing the book shut. He paced the length of his bedroom, both of his hands clenching in his blond locks, which were suddenly soaked with sweat. He had to get out. He had to go somewhere. His eyes caught the picture again.
And that's how he found himself standing in front of Uchiha Sasuke's house.
"Where have you been?" he asked, watching the other man's face carefully for the faintest hint of something. How does he react to all these pictures?
"Six feet under," came the monotone reply.
"Your sarcasm has gotten better," Naruto says with a grin, even though he's frowning on the inside. You feel dead too? You, the Uchiha-asshole who has money and power and popularity, feel exactly like me? I'm the only one who understands how you feel; he couldn't possibly know. He's not crazy. Naruto waits for him to speak again, but he knows Sasuke was never one for words. So he just sits quietly beside his old teammate and watches him turn the yellowed pages and stares blankly down at the pictures of a younger, happier him and a boy who looks exactly like the man next to him and a pink haired girl who was lost to time and circumstance.
Others make an appearance too: Kiba and his stupid little dog crouching together with Shikamaru and Shino leaning against him and smiling (something that was extremely rare in its own right); a blushing Hinata with her freakish long-haired cousin, Neji; the tall, blond, overconfident Ino and her chubby teammate, Choji. Iruka, Kakashi, Tsunande… His blood was quietly boiling, but he kept it in surprisingly well. Aren't you angry with them? Of course I am! They took away your dream. Not that it matters. It was a stupid dream, wasn't it? A child's simple and innocent ambition. I'm not a child… Prove it. You want to see them bleed for what they've done to you. Admit it. ADMIT IT!
" Naruto!"
The blond shook his head slightly and glanced over at the person next to him. Sasuke was giving him a curious look.
"Sorry, did you say something?" he smiled nervously. "I was just…remembering stuff."
Sasuke lifted an eyebrow slightly: "I said 'what happened to this picture'?"
"Huh? What picture?" Naruto glanced down. The page had a large white rectangle on it. He winced ever so slightly: Shit. "I dunno," he shrugged. "Must have lost it."
"Hn," was the other's response. He suddenly closed the book and put it to one side. "Want something to drink?"
He's not kicking me out yet? "Oh, um, yeah sure."
"Is green tea alright? It's all I've got. I have to go to the store later."
"Yeah, that's fine. Hey, Sasuke, where's the bathroom?"
"Down the hall, first door on the right."
Naruto stood and stretched as Sasuke disappeared into the kitchen. He placed one hand on his forehead and walked down the hallway, pushing open the first right-hand door and fumbling with his other hand for the light switch. Harsh yellow-orange light spilled into the small bathroom and he squinted at his reflection in the mirror. Man, I look like crap.
He turned on the cold water tap and stuck both hands under it, catching the water in his cupped palms and throwing it onto his face. He did this four times before he felt himself beginning to cool down. Asprin would be good right about now…He pulled open the medicine cabinet and was startled to find an entire row of orange pill bottles, all lined up neatly with their white labels showing off their bold, black-letter warnings: Take once a day.
"You'd better not be throwing up in my bathroom, dobe." He closed the cabinet in a hurry and switched off the light, coming out of the bathroom and seeing Sasuke placing two cups and a black kettle on the table. The raven-haired man lifted them both and handed one to the blond. "Here, this might make you feel better."
"I-I'm not sick," Naruto stammered.
Sasuke gave him a flat stare: "Could have fooled me."
"No, no, I'm not…" his voice faded. His mind flashed to the row of bottles. "You…you're looking kind of pale yourself. Are you the one who's sick?" And Sasuke's eyes grow duller than normal and his knuckles abruptly whiten on the black tea cup but he speaks in his usual voice.
"I'm not sick," he says.
And the cup shatters in his hand.
End Chapter 2
Hitokiri: Yay for Kitteh! -dances- Now...um...I go write teh next chapter! -scuttles off-