Disclaimer on chapter 1
A/N: Same as Chapter 2, hopefully this time I can at least TRY to make it sound somewhat less corny.
--
Shinji had been treated unexpectedly well in the past few days. His plan was in motion, and he stood next to Ritsuko in something you would only see in an anime convention.
It was his new plug suit.
Their goal was to locate the other two children and give them theirs as well. Walking down the corridor, loud clangs of steel could be heard from the commander, while Ritsuko walked with feline grace. Spending too much time with cats had affected her.
Asuka, luckily, was on her suck up routine and was looking for Shinji. She had took over his cleaning and cooking duties except for breakfast, switched to her "cute innocent" mode which she used only with Kaji, and occasionally hinted at being the 'wife of the most powerful man on Earth'. Of course, it was for personal gains rather than to be with Shinji. She was still mad at him for kissing wondergirl, even though he had explained many times it was a prank and he didn't touch her lips. Her musing was cut off as Ritsuko spoke.
"Oh, Asuka, we were just looking for you!" Ritsuko had cheered up considerably. After the Angels and JSSDF invasion, the mood had lightened considerably. With not enough work to do, Ritsuko finally stopped acting in her 'cold-scientist' manner and re-established her sisterly relationship with Misato. She quickly regained her respect and was now an overall much happier person, especially when Shinji dressed up like that.
"What do you want, Dr. Akagi?" Though some were still bitter towards her.
"It's not what SHE wants, it's what I want." Answered the mini-Eva for Ritsuko. Its voice slightly muffled by the steel covering its mouth.
"MIEN GOTT! Dr. Akagi, this isn't another one of Shinji's pet projects is it?" Asuka was surprised, but shuddered as she thought of his other projects lately. It had included many things relating to angel technology, such as self-regenerating food, unmanned S2 power plants(which succeeded thanks to the MP Eva series), and rapid-growing vegetables. Now a mini-Eva, how did he manage?
"Yes it's a pet project of mine, Asuka." The mini-Eva answered for Ritsuko again, this time cutting her off as she opened her mouth.
"S-SHINJI! What are you doing in that ridiculous outfit!" She exclaimed, surprised and almost exploding in laughter.
"He is cosplaying. Here's your cosplay costume." The scientist handed Asuka her plug suit.
"I'm not wearing that!" Asuka had shouted angrily.
"I-I'm sorry As-" Remembering the power he held, Shinji gave a twisted and evil grin under his face mask. "You know, it would make me VERY happy if you wore it, and I still need to transfer one more skilled combatant to France..." He had said in a scheming way.
"Oh my baka-Shinji, of course I'll do it for you!" Giggled Asuka in her fake innocent act. "You bastard, I'll kill you... Kill you... Kill you..." She thought, feeling humiliated. This was an act reserved for the one and only Kaji.
"Good, put it on. It will be your plug suit and combat uniform from now on. It is made of steel plates like the ones on the real Evas, and coated in a form of anti-gravity coating in order to make the weight bearable. It should protect you even if you can't form AT-fields." Ritsuko explained, out of her scientist nature. Some habits never change.
The children already were on their way to looking for Rei, which Asuka only accepted to please commander Shinji.
"Oh great, Asuka is clinging on me for my power over the world now." Shinji thought, as he sighed to himself under the mask of Unit-01.
"The new nerve connections had made it so that the plug suit feel whatever the armored plates of Eva feels, to lessen your pain. I had implanted trackers into the helmet as well, in order to-" Ritsuko continued, not aware the Children were gone, and continued rambling until she was done.
--
"Are you sure Rokubungi can carry out our plans? Our fundings had been going towards his pet projects so far..."
"It will be fine, as long as we can get rid of SEELE before they interfere. If anything, his little pet projects may actually help their survival."
"Our next target would be SEELE 12, proceed accordingly."
--
4 monoliths lit from the projectors, marked SEELE 01, 04, 06 and 11.
01: "So 12 has gone into hiding."
04: "He was being targeted."
06: "His chance at survival is very slim."
As if on cue, monolith 12 lit up.
12: "The assassins were quite a hassle. Excuse me being late."
11: "So you survived."
01: "Did you take any prisoners?"
12: "They were quite competent. As soon as they found themselves hopeless, they suicided."
01: "I see. Our opponent will be more of a challenge this time."
--
"Rei, it's me. I'm coming in." Shinji opened the door, and stepped into Rei's new apartment. It was much better than her last, though still filthy due to her lack of living skills. The walls were painted a light tan, and the floor was covered by an expensive carpet. However, Rei still knew no cleaning skills, and her apartment was filled with garbage and was filthy as her last.
"You know Shinji, her doorbell is working." Asuka said, annoyed. He was so casual with Rei, stepping into her place just like that.
"Shinji-sama?" Rei stepped out of her shower, barely covering breasts in the towel slung across the back of her neck.
Shinji blushed and stammered something impossible to understand.
"WONDERGIRL! Have some decency!" Asuka screamed, throwing Rei's plug suit at her, and forcibly twisting Shinji's neck at an angle nobody ever thought possible. A few minutes later, after Rei had put on her plug suit, cracks could be heard.
"A-asu-asuka, I'm in pain..." He said, obviously with effort.
"Shinji! Oh I'm so sorry! Please forgive me?" Asuka released her grip and gave him her best puppy eye. But it couldn't travel through the opaque mask she wore.
"Of course, Asuka..." Shinji sighed. He still couldn't fight off Asuka's 'cute assault', despite knowing she was simply using him.
"Shinji-sama, why are we dressing as Eva units?" Asked Rei, in her monotone voice.
"Ask Ritsuko later." Shinji replied. "I have other business to attend to. Would you like to come, Rei?" He added, making Asuka fume with jealousy and rage.
"I'm sorry, Shinji-sama. The angel technology project I am working on is in progress." She replied.
"Wondergirl, I've been wondering... How did you get the funds?" Asuka asked, knowing what Rei was referring to. She was let in on a few secrets now and then by the albino girl.
"Shinji-sama had granted me the information to Angel Technology as well as one billion yen per month. His sources are quite generous." She explained, getting Asuka's jaw locked in an open state.
"Shiiinji! I want to invest in a new clothing technology!" Asuka said, clinging to Shinji who was trying to make his escape. "Pleeaase?" Asuka had begged Shinji with her 'cute mode' turned to maximum.
"I-I'll s-see what I-I can do with the c-committee..." Shinji stammered, hoping that would convince Asuka. "Damn it, I'm being played right into her hands..." He thought. "I can't help it if I like her! Rei! Why must you be made from mother!"
"Baka-Shinji, since Rei isn't going, I wanna come!" She said playfully, clinging even tighter.
"But maybe, just MAYBE I can take advantage of her like this..." He thought. "NO! DON'T THINK LIKE THAT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT!"
--
Kaji laid still on his hospital bed. It seemed that Misato had given him a small, barely noticeable fracture in his neck. It would heal without any permanent damage, the doctors had said, but he'll need to keep neck movements to a minimum. Every day, Misato came to visit him even though she claims she couldn't stand the guy. "This wasn't what I had in mind..." Sighed Kaji. His resurrection was more of a curse than a blessing. He wasn't even appearing all that much.
--
Shinji and Asuka arrived at a door marked 'Top Secret', inside of which are where all information regarding the World Restoration Project.
"What's inside is for your eyes only, Asuka." He said, in an overly serious tone which is unusual.
"Of course!" Asuka replied cheerily, or pretended to.
"Alright, brace yourself." Shinji said, as he slid his card on the control panel. The door slid open, as well as the 19 layers after it. "This may change your life forever..." Shinji said in a dark tone, as he switched on the lights. The room was illuminated instantly, and displayed an impressive collection of scientific equipments.
Amongst the display, there were various DNA samples. Each marked an angel's name, including Adam and Lilith. Deeper in the room, miniature versions of the angels were sitting in tanks of chemicals.
"W-what is this room?" Asuka had said, quivering in fear.
"This is the room where the prevention of a second attempt at instrumentality will occur." Shinji answered, in a tone that rivaled that of his father's.
"Won't it cause a Third Impact? With Adam and Lilith here and all..." Asuka asked, as her fears returned with her memories of the last, failed Third Impact.
"No. The only true S2 Core in existence is within Unit-01. Without a real S2 Core, they wouldn't have the energy to make such a catastrophe possible, since SEELE destroyed all data relating to complete replicas.." Shinji answered, taking off his helmet.
"But what about S2 Engines? Aren't they the same as S2 Cores?" Asuka's questions were doubling with each answer Shinji provided, and it wasn't helping.
"That's false. Our new S2 Engines do not have the... Biological properties of the S2 Core. It's part machine, and thus cannot fuse." Shinji, almost sensing Asuka's next question, continued. "They're not like Evas. Evas were replicas of Adam, though Unit-01 is a replica of Lilith. However, if you rip off their restraints, their cockpit, and the umbilical plug, the flesh left is a complete, working copy. Do you understand?"
"So if it works with Evas, why can't it work with S2 Engines!" Asuka asked, annoyed that the answer had to be so complicated.
"If we separate the mechanical and biological components of the Engine, the Engine wouldn't work. It isn't the case with Evas." Shinji replied in simpler terms.
"Asuka, these are developed with a certain cloning technology." Shinji said, gloomily.
"Certain... Cloning technology?" Asuka had asked, confused.
"Yes, it had been used before. Basically, only one remains active at a time. Others stay dormant in this room." Shinji answered. "It's like a certain person we know." He added.
"A certain person?" Asuka was made even more confused.
"Do you know about Rei yet?" Shinji asked.
"I just know she's a... clone..." She replied.
"She's not a normal clone. She was made from Lilith and... My mother, and she can be replaced." Shinji explained. "Which is why I can trust her. But... I'm not sure if I can trust you."
"Baka-Shinji, are you saying I'm not as good as WONDERGIRL!" Asuka fumed.
"No, I just don't know if I can... Trust you. You never told me the truth, not once!" Shinji was quick to defend himself.
"Whatever, baka-Shinji." Asuka looked away, pretending not to care.
"Not even when we were the last two people on Earth." Seeing that he won't be getting a response, he continued. "You know, Asuka. I have..." He mumbled the last three words, and changed the subject. "Would you like to see the progress of our research?" Shinji asked.
"I didn't hear you properly, Third Child!" Asuka heard, though, the three little words that pierced her AT Field many times before. She didn't need to show it, she had convinced herself she could live by herself.
Shinji mumbled the same words again, and quickly removed the bindings of Sachiel, the Third Angel. "Sachiel, who do you acknowledge as your father?" Shinji commanded. The angel extended one of its energy rod at Adam, and another at Shinji. Shinji showed his proud smile to Asuka.
"Asuka, would you like a child too?" Shinji asked, holding the small Sachiel proudly like a baby. "I came today to retrieve him. I plan to raise him as a human boy, in order to prepare for the future."
Asuka could only stare wide-eyed at the most important boy, financially and emotionally, in her life hold something she regards as a freak like a delicate baby.
"Would you like..." Shinji blushed like a tomato. "To be its mother?"
"You know, Third Child, most people propose in a romantic setting with a diamond ring. You're the first one I've known to propose in a freaky lab with a baby freak." Asuka said with amusement in her voice, but she sounded pleased as well. "We'll see, baka-Shinji, we'll see. I'll give you one more chance." She added, but her mind was on other things. "Yatta, the great Sohryu Asuka Langley is one step closer to world domination!"
"Thank you, Asuka." Shinji said, carrying the baby Sachiel. "Say, how does having 17 children sound?" Asked Shinji with a confident smirk.
"Baka-Shinji!" Asuka giggled, and was joined by Shinji. "Don't grow a spine on me now!" She joked.
Sachiel, not knowing what was going on, reached out for his third mother with his energy rod. "Ma...ma..."
--
"So, Rokubungi's first step had finally been taken. Took him long enough."
"However, should we not proceed to complete our second?"
"Indeed, the failure of 12's assassination has set us back quite a bit. They most probably have strengthened their defense further."
"We won't fail next time."
--
"OH BLOODY HELL YOU'RE NOT BRINGING THAT THING INTO MY APARTMENT!" Screamed a hysterical Misato, upon seeing the black little thing with a bird-like bone mask. Her surprise and amusement at the cosplaying pilots all gone.
"Oh come on Misato, you can be a grandma if you adopt me as your son!" Shinji said, jokingly.
"That is EXACTLY why you WON'T be bringing that THING here!" Misato screeched.
"Misato, you might be the first 31 year old grandma in existence!" Joined Asuka, determined that 'Granny Misato' sounded hilarious.
"You'll be on the news!" Shinji dealt the finishing blow with extreme force.
"On TV..." Misato could just imagine it now.
"Misato, how does it feel to have the world saviour as your son, and an angel as your grandson?" The TV reporter asks.
"LOVELY! Oh, but I'm still so beautiful! My skin is still so smooth and soft, and look at this cleavage!" Misato cheerily exclaimed to her adoring fans.
"Beautiful! A SINGLE grandmother at the age 31!" A talent scout shouted. "You'll be our new MOVIE STAR!"
"MIIIIIIISAAAAAAAATOOOOO!" Asuka shouted tapping her foot on the ground, with her arms crossed, and breaking her out of her musing.
"O-oh, sorry, come in!" Misato said cheerily, thinking of her salary as a first-class actress.
"Great. Oh, by the way, this baby is top-secret military technology. No word of it to anybody." Shinji said, walking in.
"WHAAT! Then how do I get on TV!" Misato shouted, angry that her dreams were shattered into pieces.
"You can't, but on the bright side, only we will call you granny Misato." Winked Asuka. "Oh, and the rest of NERV, too." Asuka laughed, as she dug the drugs for the baby Sachiel out of her jacket.
"Get OUT! OUT! OOOUUUT!" Misato screamed, kicking Sachiel and Shinji out the door. Literally.
"Well, Asuka, guess she won't want her EXTRA PAYCHECK now, does she?" Shinji said slyly, with a grin on his face. Misato paled.
"Or perhaps a TRANSFER to FRANCE..." Asuka added as soon as Shinji had finished. Seems that the synchronization training had other effects as well. Misato paled even more.
"Or maybe she doesn't want to be PROMOTED!" Shinji, again, dealt the finishing blow, causing Misato to almost go translucent.
Misato had to counterattack. There is no way she is going to let them off like this. "And maybe our MARRIED COUPLE here wanted to celebrate by picking on their GUARDIAN who PROVIDES THEM."
"M-Misato!" Shinji blushed, stammering. The usual damage had been inflicted, Misato let out a grin. "W-we're just putting our synchronizing to good use!"
"W-who'd want to be with THIS idiot anyways!" Asuka stammered as well, angry but still blushing. As if on cue, an energy rod came an inch away from her face.
"Ma...ma..." Snarled the baby Sachiel in his ethereal voice, and his other energy rod made its way up to Shinji's chin. "Pa...pa..."
"Er... Your first words! Sachiel banzai!" Shinji tried to cover, but Misato had caught what it had said already.
"Oooh, is that so?" Misato grinned. A grin that said 'I will make sure this situation will embarrass you to no end'.
"WHY YOU LITTLE..." Asuka was about to strangle the little Sachiel, as the energy rod shot out and smashed Asuka against a wall.
"That's gotta hurt..." Commented Shinji. "Asuka, please don't threaten Sachiel too much." Shinji said, as he calmed Sachiel by giving him a rattle.
"Security? Make copies of today's surveillance tape at sector 29 area B between now and the past 15 minutes, pronto, and distribute it on the main street!" In the little exchange between mother and son, neither parents had noticed Misato flipping out her cellphone. Her trump card had been used, Shinji and Asuka would now face incredible embarrassment when they walk on the streets. Little did she realize, she also leaked out top-secret information that she was informed about.
"MISATO! You just released CLASSIFIED INFORMATION!" Shinji screamed, hysterical almost. This would bring a halt of his scenario, and he didn't have the heart to punish Misato. "Do you know how much paperwork I'm going to receive to dump into your work bin?" Shinji continued.
Misato paled at the realization of this, and quickly redialed the number. "CANCEL! CANCEL THE DISTRIBUTION! What, what do you mean the order had already be executed? NOOOO!"
In the past 2 years, NERV had gotten rid of its incompetent surveillance team and had hired top-of-the-line personnel. They carried out orders without a hitch, and asked for little extra salary. Now, rather than something to be ashamed of, NERV's surveillance team was its pride. After the Evas, of course.
"Misato... I hope you enjoy paperwork." The furious, cold glare from Shinji was enough to freeze Misato's blood. "Have fun tomorrow. Say, Asuka, about what I said before we went into the lab..."
"The part about it changing my life forever is being called off, right?" Asuka replied, pinned to the wall.
"Yea, I'm sorry." Shinji said sheepishly.
"Was that even something to be sorry about?" Asuka wondered to herself.
--
Elsewhere, Kensuke popped in his new 'Military Secrets' tape. "Hey Touji, you think they'll talk about the Evangelions?" He asked. Upon seeing his friend cringe, he quickly apologized.
"It's ok, Kensuke. I doubt it though, the Evas being their control over the world and all." He said.
"OH LOOK! IT'S MISATO!" Kensuke shouted, and at once the two boys started drooling, until a whole minute had passed, which was when she answered the door.
"What the hell is Shinji holding in his hands!" Touji asked.
"If I remember correctly, that thing looks like the Third Angel." Kensuke replied, amazed. "I can't believe mass production of these toys are-GRANDMA! That's Shinji's CHILD!" Upon hearing the mention of Misato turning into a grandmother if Shinji became her son, Kensuke came upon this obvious conclusion.
"What the hell? I bet this super deformed child was a spawn of the the red haired devil rather than Shinji." Touji snorted.
The tape and explained how Sachiel is a top secret experiment, but it went to deaf ears as Kensuke and Touji argued over what it must be. As soon as the thing extended its energy rod, Kensuke confirmed it as the Third Angel, except without the red core. At the words spoken by it, Touji, being the idiot he is, blurted out.
"SEE! Spawn o' the DEVIL herself!" He smirked. "Makes no sense though, it looking like an angel and all."
Then, the other energy rod pointed, and the other word spoken, Touji and Kensuke's jaws dropped a considerable depth.
"Shinji... Asuka... NOOOOOO!" They said and screamed in unison. It was a terror beyond comprehension to them.
--
Hikari was scolding her sister Nozomi for picking up a strange tape from the ground, but all her words were tuned out.
"Oh come on, sis, don't be so uptight about this. Kodama! I found an interesting tape on the ground today! Wanna see?" Nozomi paid no attention to Hikari's protests and moral speeches, as she popped the tape in.
"Coming!" Came a voice from another room, most likely younger than both her sisters, but definitely more mature in tone than Nozomi.
"Well, hurry up, the first minute is-OH MY GOD, what IS that thing in his hands!" Nozomi nearly shrieked upon seeing the black blob of flesh.
"Ikari?" Hikari thought aloud to herself.
"Ikari? As in that cute guy everybody was talking about in your class?" Nozomi said.
"No, thats Taiki Ikari. This is Ikari Shinji." Hikari replied. "He's the wimp who everybody picks on when they have a death wish." She continued.
The tape rolled past the part where Misato was to become a grandmother if she adopted Shinji right after Kodama popped her head in.
"OH MY GOD! SHINJI! HOW COULD YOU!" Hikari screamed. Not knowing what the fuss was all about, her sisters simply continued watching in amusement as the exchange took place. Hikari, however, was busy fuming about Shinji's betrayal. She knew how dearly Asuka had held him in her heart. "Ikari, you're SO going to get it when I see you next time. Section 2 agents or not, you're as good as-" Her musings were cut off.
"EEEEEK!" Kodama shrieked, as the energy rod stopped merely an inch from Asuka's face.
Hearing the scream, Hikari instinctively looked at the TV screen, and saw the black... THING 'point' at her friend. The words spoken made the three girls burst in laughter.
"HAHA, oh god, HAHA, Asuka... Real... Smooth there... HAHAHAHA" Hikari said, her anger vaporized. Then the rod pointed to Shinji, and the next words made themselves heard.
"Oh. My. God. You can't be serious, they got a FREAK BABY! And Shinji got Asuka PREGNANT! How come I never noticed?" Hikari said in disbelief, finally realizing that vital little bit about Shinji's baby calling Asuka mama.
"No, idiot, it seemed it was this Shinji guy's science experiment." Nozomi said.
"WHAT! His job is really getting to his head." Hikari commented.
"What IS his job, anyways?" Kodama asked, interested in a totally platonic way.
"Don't you know? He's the commander of NERV, now that his old man bit the dust." Hikari explained, as if that was a casual thing.
"What! So you mean the wimp everybody picks on owns the most powerful organization on Earth!" Nozomi cried out in horror.
"Well... Yea, why do you think whenever he came to school with more than a bruise on his face, another athletic boy with attitude problems mysteriously transfers?" Hikari said casually like it was nothing unusual. However, her sisters cowered in fear. They had been... Involved in some of these terrorism activities.
--
Misato sat behind her desk in NERV HQ, facing a wall of paperwork.
"Was it worth it...?" She thought to herself. Glancing at the tape in her hand, she smirked. "Of course it was."
However, if she saw the the feeding tube replacing whatever she had processed, she would've thought otherwise.
To be continued... Maybe?
A/N: Well, this turned out not much better than chapter 2. Hopefully some easily amused people can still enjoy it. Criticisms welcome, flames too.
I plan on doing 'post 3rd Impact chapters' on every 5th chapter, to give a little background on the relationship between Asuka and Shinji. Personal opinion tells me that pairing is cute and fluffy, and incest free. Personal opinions, flame elsewhere! Here's an omake for you humor fans out there!
--
Shinji's Son: Take 1, ACTION!
Shinji mumbled the same words again, and quickly removed the bindings of Sachiel, the Third Angel. "Sachiel. I am your father." Shinji said.
"CUT! That's WAY overdone!" The director shouted. Off-stage.
Shinji's Son: Take 2, ACTION!
Shinji mumbled the same words again, and quickly removed the bindings of Sachiel, the Third Angel. "Sachiel. WHO'S YOUR DADDY!" Shinji asked, though it was obvious he was making a great effort.
"CUT CUT CUT! This won't do. You don't have the ATTITUDE, the ACCENT, the PERSONALITY. Try that again!" The director... Directed. Hehe, funny.
Shinji's Son: Take 3, Action!
Shinji mumbled the same words again, and quickly removed the bindings of Sachiel, the Third Angel. "Sachiel, who do you acknowledge as your father?" Shinji commanded.
"Good job, that was PERFECT!" Thought the director.
The angel extended one of its energy rod at Adam, and another at Shinji. Shinji showed his proud smile to Asuka, but the rod did not stop. Brain splattered all over the ceiling, as the ground formed a pool of Shinji's blood.
"Great, one time the idiot doesn't mess up, the freak does it." The director commented to himself. "Find another Shinji, before I get killed by flaming reviewers!"
--
Looking back at it, that omake will most likely only crack a smile. Oh well, I tried.