I would really like to take the time to thank those that have taken the time to review and to apologize to those that had to log in or create accounts just to review. I think I have the problem fixed so that I can accept unsigned reviews. Also, I apologize for the late update, I had family over for the holiday.


Cookie-forced to log in--Thank you for you comments and concerns. This is a Ryu/Shu fic. I love Yuki/Shu but I also like the noncannon pairings.

DeMoN4EvA--Thank you so much for my first review and the continued encouragement. I was beginning to despair.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any of it's wonderful characters.

Warning! This chapter contains rape scene (a very trite one).


The Pain is Only Beginning

Chapter 4

This had been a good evening so far. Shuichi had gotten there early enough to be able to work on two of the songs. The changes he had made had been well received by both the crowd and the other members of the band. At the end of theirfirst set, the club had already been nearly packed. And, this being a Karaoke night, he might get to go home early with a full night's pay. They only had one more forty-five minute set to play before the karaoke was scheduled to begin. He had planned to go out and get something to eat after thesinging started and if enough people signed up to sing, when he checked back in, he would be able to go home.

Shuichi had never been one to drink much, but he had been in such a good mood tonight, that he had a rum and coke to drink with the other band members before the set began. He didn't know if it was the drink or just nerves, but he suddenly felt reluctant to go up on the stage.

Hegenerally did not pay much attention to the crowd. But, for some reason he decided to see how packed the club was. As soon as he raised his head, he saw a very familiar red-headed male pass in front of the stage on the way to the bar. His stomach clenched. He could feel his rum and coke beginning to rise up in his throat and spots began dancing in his eyes. The panic was rising and he knew that if he couldn't get it under control quickly, not only would he not be able to play, he would certainly give himself away.

"All right," Shuichi muttered to himself, "He obviously didn't recognize me. He didn't stop to look, he didn't notice anything. Things are still OK, I can still do this. I just need to stay back in the shadows. I can get through this."


"Oh, oh," Ryuichi said softly to Tatsuha, "he's seen Hiro."

Tatsuha looked up at the stage and sure enough, the keyboard player was staring directly at the guitar player. At first Tatsuha didn't believe that thepunk on the stagewas really Shuichi, but the more he looked, the more he believed. There was so much that was different, but there were similarities. And, the fact that he was staring at Hiro seemed to prove Ryuichi's case in Tatsuha's mind.

"I think this is bad Ryu. What if he runs again?"

"I do not intend to give him the chance. I don't know what I am going to do yet, but just watch. I may need you to cover for me, if he does."


No matter how hard he tried to calm himself, Shuichi became more and more nervous as the set went along. He knew that Hiro could not possibly be here by himself. He began scanning the crowd for other familiar faces. Faces he desperately hoped to see and dreaded to see at the same time. But, the club was too dim and he found he couldn't concentrate. He decided to simply follow Hiro with his eyes. It was a while before Hiro was able to get away from the bar and Shuichi was easily able to follow that mane of glorious red hair.

Hewatched Hiro proceed through the club. He was carrying three drinks, which meant that at least two other people were with him.His friendhad to struggle to get through the packed crowd without losing the drinks but finallyapproached a table and set the drinks down. Shuichi quickly scanned the others at the table. Now he was able to recognize Ryuichi and Tatsuha. This might not be so bad as he originally thought. If Hiro did not recognize him, the others might not either.

"Just keep to the shadows." He thought to himself.

Shuichi was able to keep his eyes down for most of the rest of the set. It wasn't until he was on the last song, that he looked up again. He couldn't keep his eyes from straying to Hiro's table. And when he looked, he saw a pair of deep blue eyes staring back into his and gasped, Ryuichi had recognized him. The panic had now raised another notch and his hands began shaking so badly that he could hardly continue to play.

There was no doubt in his mind that he had been recognized. There was also no doubt about what he needed to do. As soon as the set was over, he would need to get out and get out fast.

As soon as the music stoppedhe made a dash for the rear exit.


Ryuichi had seen Shuichi's hands begin to shake. He had seen the look of terror on his face when he looked at the table.

"He's going to run!" Ryuichi announced a little too loudly to Tatsuha.

"Who's going to run?" Hiro asked. He was surprised by Ryuichi's announcement. "What at you talking about?"

Ryuichi stood up quickly when the lights came back on and had only taken one step when he was grabbed by Hiro.

"What are you talking about?" Hiro demanded, "Where do you think you are going?"

"Shuichi" was all that Ryuichi was able to whisper before Tatsuha pulled Hiro off of him.

"Go, Ryu, stop him!" Tatsuha yelled before turning to the redhead. "Sit down Hiro, I'll try to explain."


Shuichi had to literally push his way through the crowd of people waiting to get into the restrooms near the rear exit of the club. It didn't help that his eyes were blinded by tears that refused to fall. "Damn it, I worked so hard. I was only a little was from being able to make it on my own. Why now? Oh, God, why the Hell did this have to happen now?" The thoughts continued to circle through his head as he was finally able to make it out through the rear door.

Once outside,he felt all of his strength leave him. He was barely able to get himself hidden behind the club's trash dumpster before collapsing against the back wall of the club. His very soul was hurting and he was choked on his own emotions. He couldn't even squeeze out a tear.


Ryuichi had just reached the back of the stage in time to see Shuichi slip out the back exit. At the same time he noticed one of the men that had been following them get up from his bar stool, the man was probably going to follow him. He knew that the men were probably following them in case they actually did find Shuichi. He also knew that if he did actually catch up, the men would findthe other singertoo. But, ifhe did not follow now, he knew he would lose Shuichi, probably forever.

Hebegan yelling that he was going to be sick and pushed his way passed the line and into the men's restroom. Luckily, there was an open stall with a window that lead out the backover the stool. He quickly entered the stall, locked the door, and crept out the window.

Ryuichi landed quietly in a seemingly deserted alleyway. There was no one in sight. He started to walk quickly down the alleyway and cursing himself quietly for his slowness. He felt the tears welling in his own eyes, knowing that he had lost Shuichi, he had managed to get away.


Hiro was very angry, "What the Hell is going on Tatsuha?"he demanded loudly.

"Shh, shh, Hiro. Sit down. I will explain. But, I really need for you to calm down and act like nothing has happened."He first explained about the men that were following them. After giving this a second to sink in he then told Hiro that Ryuichi believed that the keyboard player in the band was Shuichi. But, the morehe spoke, the madder Hiro seemed to become. Hiro was torn between the desire to beat the shit out of the men who had been following them, and the desire to chase after Ryuichi to see if the man really was Shuichi.

"Listen to me Hiro, you cannot make a scene. But, I do need for you to do something. I need to you to get up and go out the front doors. Just act like you are stretching your legs and getting some fresh air. When Ryuichi went after Shuichi, one of those men followed. If you go out maybe the man will follow you instead. And, while you are outside if you see either Shuichi or Ryuichi, pretend that you did not see either one of them, unless they approach you."

"OK, Tatsuha, I'll do it. But, I hope to Hell that Ryu is right."


Shuichi was just getting his emotions under control when he felt a pair of arms slip around his waist.

Ryuichi felt Shuichi's body stiffen and tense up. He knew that Shuichi was going to strike out and really run this time.

"Ah, Shuichi, do not run from me I will never hurt you."


Michael sometimes hated the weekends. The administrator of the shelter had recently begun dating a social worker from downtown and on the nights that the admin had dates,he became responsible for admissions duties. Tonight was such a night. He had hoped to get in an early night. He had managed to get his work done and was getting into bed by 9:00 pm. Just as he was reaching to turn out his bedside lamp the front door buzzer went off.Michael wasn't the only one in the shelter to groan when the buzzer sounded.

"If Ryu has forgotten his keys again, I am going to kill him." Michael grumbled as he went to answer the door.He knew that tonight was a karaoke night at Ryu's club, and depending on how many signed up to sing, Ryu might get home early. Michael stumbled to the door without turning on any lights, trying not to disturb the other residents as much as possible. He did flip on the outside porch light when he got to the door, and if it blinded whoever was outside that would be just too bad.

But instead on Ryu standing there with his usual sheepish look, there were two menhe had never seen before.

"Are you with the police?" Michael asked.

"Hum, not exactly. We are detectives Mr…?" The taller of the men asked.

"Rain, Michael Rain."

"Well, Mr. Rain, we are private detectives. And, we are searching for someone."

"I am sorry gentlemen, Iwon't be able to assist you. You must realize that the identities of all of the residents of this shelter are strictly confidential. I could not give you any information, even if I wanted to."

"We understand that Mr. Rain. However,we must tell you that we are not the only people searching for this person, andthe other people are not that far behind us. I will also tell you that we are searching for this person to protect him, the others that are looking may mean him harm.We are given the impression that he will be killed if he is located by the other party.

"By law, I still cannot give you any information about any of our current residents." Michael insisted.

"OK, if you cannot tell us anything, we'll have to live with that. But, I still want to show you a picture of the person we are looking for and leave you with one of our cards. If you do see this person out on the street, please give us a call. His life may depend upon it."

Michael didn't know why, but he suddenly felt as if he could trust these men. They had been fairly insistent, but they had not tried to force anything.He took the business card and noted the name James Sugiama, Attorney at Law, printed on the card.

"OK, I will look at the picture, but I can't promise anything." Michael told the men while reaching out to grasp the photo.

The photo showed a very feminine looking boy with pink hair, a rather goofy grin, and huge violet eyes. Violet eyes? The eyes triggered something in his memory. He tried to cover up the look of recognition, but he knew that the men had seen something because the looks on their faces had suddenly became more intense.

"Please Mr. Rain, if you have seen this person, consider giving us a call. And, please, do not let anyone else know about him."

Michael closed the door. Violet eyes. He remembered one night running into Ryu when he was coming out of the shower room. Ryu had played late that night and he was really tired. When Ryu had looked up athim to apologize, theeyes had been violet, not green! At the time,he had been tired too and he had thought his eyes were just playing tricks on him.

Hemade a note to discuss this with Ryu before he did anything else.


"Did you see the look on his face when he looked at that picture?" The shorter detective asked his companion.

"Yeah, that was a definite look of recognition. He has definitely seen the guy."

"I agree. So, what do want to do?"

"I think maybe we watch the place for a few days. You know, see where it leads."

"Think we should call Sugiama?"

"Yeah, he wanted to know if we had anything at all, and this is the best we've had in months."


Eiri Yuki was still sitting in his cell deep in thought. He was planning on how to get back into the Untied States after he was returned to Japan.

"Get your ass up, Mister," one of the guards interrupted Yuki's thoughts, "It's shower time!"He didn't know how many times the guard had actually called without getting his notice, but Yuki guessed that it had been more than a couple because theman seemed pretty angry now.

Hedidn't feel like being interrupted jail policystated that the inmates must shower at least twice a week; it was not an option. He only wanted to stay in his cell and think. He had already decided that he would need to get a fake ID and passport. He didn't even consider trying to get a Visa, that would be too difficult. He knew that the ID and passport would probably cost him a fortune as it was. And, he did not want to become Eiri Yuki, the famous Japanese author/terrorist. He just needed to find a source to get the papers. He knew thatSeguchi would have the power to help him, buthe was the last person he would ever think of asking. He could notallowSeguchi know that he was thinking of doing anything.

Yuki undressed and stepped into the shower room. He supposed that he could always just fly to Canada or Mexico and try to cross the border unnoticed. He didn't notice any of the other inmates until he felt a hand cover his mouth.

"Don't try to fight us it will only hurt worse if you do." Someone whispered into his ear.

He couldn't help himself andlashed out,feeling his handmake contact with flesh.

"I told you not to fight," the voice told him again as he was forced to his knees.He grunted with pain as a foot slammed into his ribs and he doubled over in pain.

"That is more like it," the unseen person spoke again.

Yuki felt himself being roughly penetrated from the rear. The pain was intenseas hefelt his sensitive membranes tear. "Nnuh!" He tried to scream but could not make any sound come out past the hand covering his mouth. He did try to fight, but there were too many holding him down, and every attempt was met with more punches and kicks from his unseen attackers. It was only when one person hit him in the jaw that the beating stopped.

"No,"he heard through his pain, "We were told not to hit him in the face, we are supposed to leave his beauty untouched."

To Yuki the assault seemed to go on forever as person after personused him. Each man was grunting and panting. Some even cried out at the moment of climax. He was nearly blind with the pain by the time it ended. He was just starting to collapse onto the floor when he felt someone else come up and begin rubbing against him. No one was holding him now, but he did not have the strength to fight anymore. He was once again grabbed around the waist and brought to his knees. He felt teeth sink into his shoulder.

"We were told that you like boys, Mr. Yuki, so how did you like us," Yuki felt himself being roughly fondled, "better yet, how do you like me?" He screamed as the last man took him andhe felt himself being torn anew. "Most boyssay I'm really good.Oh," theman panted still stroking, "you are hot. But,you were made ready. Next time, it will be just me."

Each of the man's thrusts was like a having a knife thrust into him. Yuki hoped that he would just pass out, or maybe even die. But, to his ultimate shame he reached climax at the same time as his attacker, like a lover.

When the man pulled out, Yuki was finally allowed to collapse onto the floor. Before he finally lost consciousness he heard the original voice tell him, "This was just a little gift from Reiji and XMR," followed by, "I told you he would like it." And, then mercifully Eiri Yuki passed out on the shower room floor.


Tohma was getting seriously worried about Mika now. He had not been able to find any traces of her. He had even checked with all of the airports.Surely no airline would let her fly this close to her due date. She had to be somewhere on the island. The doorman of his apartment had not seen her since this morning and she had not been carrying any luggage when she left.While it was true that he had been planning on getting rid of her as soon as the baby was born, it was him who was supposed to leave her, not the other way around. It was unacceptable for her toleave him. He was the one with the power, he needed to get her back long enough for her to get comfortable again, and then he would leave her. The only problem was that he was now stretched too thin. All of his manpower was now in the United States, either protecting Yuki, searching for Shuichi, or following Ryuichi, Tatsuha, and Hiro. He just didn't have any more resources here in Japan left to hunt her down. He needed to make a decision.

He considered hiring more people but he did not know if he could trust just anyone. Everyone he had working for him now owed him something. And, he knew they were all loyal. Tohma weighed his options and there was really only one decision to make. He would have to pull back the men following Ryuichi.

"What are the chances that idiot would ever find Shuichi anyway. He can't even find his own way home most of the time." Tohma informed the great masses of no one who were there for him in his time of need.


The plane had been in the air for several hours and Mika was still nervous. She knew that Tohma had to know what she had done by now. She also knew that must have made a clean escape. As far as she could tell she was not followed on board, and no one had approached her on the plane. She thought that maybe she was still nervous because somewhere in the back of her mind, she was expecting the plane to turn around and head back to Japan.She didn't know if Tohma was powerful enough to have an entire airplane called back to Japan, but if he guessed where she was, he would surely try.

"Mika," Alex spoke quietly to her, "You need to calm down. We're OK. If you don't calm down you are going to go into labor right here on the plane."

"Sorry Alex, I can't help it. My husband is a very powerful man. Only a fool would not be nervous. But, I do think I made it out clean."

"I can't understand why you are so scared. I cannot imagine someone with as much power and prestige as Tohma Seguchi ever doing anything that might smear his name."

"You really do not understand anything about the corporate world do you Alex?"

"Not really, my entire family is involved in the field of medicine."

"Well, in my opinion, the very heart of business is being able to take advantage of every situation and getting the best of others. No matter whom it hurts."

"But, your husband wouldn't really harm a family member, would he?"

"Tohma would do anything to get what he wants. Let me tell you a little story, I don't think that TohmabelievesI know about this, but he talks in his sleep. I have a younger brother, you may have heard of him also, his name is Eiri Yuki and he writes romance novels. Even though Eiri is fully Japanese, he looks western, or mixed. He got teased a lot in school so my father sent him to the United States to finish his school with a private tutor. Tohma found himself becoming attracted to Eiri and he wantedthe boyto rely on him. So, he took advantage of the situation. He offered Eiri's tutor a great deal of money to try to seduce Eiri. When the seduction was to take place, Tohma was going to bust in and "save" Eiri. However, the situation got out of Tohma's control. A couple of street thugs has come along at the wrong time and decided they wanted a piece of the action too. Tohma managed to get his hands on a gun one of the men was carrying. He shot both of the thugs and after Eiri's tutor tried to get away, Tohma shot him too. These crimes in themselves were not so terrible; after all, Tohma was trying to protect Eiri. It is the next thing Tohma did next that was unforgivable.My brotherwas distraught and not thinking clearly. In the moment of confusion Tohma placed the gun in Eiri's hands and convincedmy brotherthat it had beenhim that had shot those men. Eiri's memories of the event were never clear and to this day he still believes that he was the one that killed his tutor. The incident has left deep emotional scars that have only just started to heal. And, Eiri still looks at Tohma as a savior to this day."

"Are you telling me that you husband is in love with your brother, and that he is a murderer?" Michael was amazed.

"Tohma always gets what he wants. Right now he wants this baby, but he doesn't want me. He wants Eiri, I really think that the only reason he ever married me was to be near my brother."

"There is one other thing I don't understand, if youknew thatyour husbandkilled these men, why did youallow your brother to continue to believe that he was the onewho killed them?"

"I really only found out the truth recently, and I have been terrified of Tohma. I really think he is planning on killing me after the baby is born. There is one more issue, Eiri is currently in a jail cell in New York City, and I have been stuck in Japan. I haven't had the chance to tell him. His trial is Monday and I am afraid that if he is releasedhe will go running straight back to Japan, straight back to Tohma's waiting arms. I need to get to New York to warn him about Tohma."

"Mika, do you know how your brother feels about Tohma? Is it possible that the love is reciprocated? If you think he is, then you telling him might do more harm than good."

"I believe that Eiri is in love with someone else. I really hope you are not homophobic, because Ibelieve heis in love with a young man named Shuichi Shindou. Eiri and Shuichi were lovers and living together before Tohma got jealous and ruined their relationship. He managed to confuse Eiri into breaking up with Shuichi."

"So, you think that your going to New York will what, save your brother? Or, are you really just going to get even with you husband?"

"I have to go. I have to try to get away from Tohma, I have to try to warn Eiri, and I have to let him know that Tohma already has men in the United States looking for Shuichi. And, I did hear Tohma stating to someone on the phone, that if these men find Shuichi, they are to kill him."

Alex sat back in his seat. What in the Hell had he gotten himself into? If this woman was that scared, maybe there was some merit to her fears and her wild claims. What would happen if this Tohma found out who had helped his wife and child escape?


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