Author Note: This story isn't nearly as silly as the two preceding it, but I hope you find it just as funny (and perhaps even a tad sweet).
"Okay, Chichi. What is it you wanted to talk about?" Goku asked, sitting cross-legged in the Son living room.
"Well," she said, blushing, "I have some good news. Remember the other day when--HEY! Stop playing with that caterpillar and pay attention!"
"Huh? Oh, yes'm!" he said, snapping back to reality.
"As I was saying, do you remember the other day when you said that you wouldn't mind having a bigger family?" she queried. "Well... you'll get your wish. I'm pregnant!"
"Oh..." he said.
After blinking a few times, Chichi shouted, "What do you mean, 'oh'? Is that all you have to say?"
"Well, I'm happy and everything," Goku replied, smiling. "It's just a big surprise."
"Well, I suppose I can't blame him," Chichi thought, her expression softening. "After all, with two boys already and me being the age I am, I can see where he would be surpr--"
"I just thought that you were getting fat," Goku chuckled.
"Whyyyyyyy you!" Chichi fumed. "DIE! (thinks for a few seconds) AGAIN!"
Despite all of the training he endured under the Kais, it turned out that a sofa (when thrown by an enraged woman) can still knock Goku unconscious.
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Four months later...
"T-t-t-triplets!" Chichi screamed, trying not to faint.
"Yes, ma'am. If all goes well, in five more months you'll be the mother of three healthy babies!" the doctor told her, washing his hands.
"Oh, boy!" Goku exclaimed, elated at the thought of three new training dummies... er... children.
"Oh, well..." Chichi sighed, resigned to her fate. "What sex are they?"
"According to the ultrasound, you're carrying two boys and a girl," the doctor replied.
"A girl? That's great!" Chichi beamed, brightening considerably. "I love my sons, but I've always wanted another woman around the house. How nice!"
"Any name ideas yet?" the doctor asked, trying to make small talk.
Before Chichi could even open her mouth, Goku blurted out, "Their names are Gogo, Gobert, and Gokina!"
"Now, just a minute!" Chichi snapped. "Haven't we had enough 'Go-' names?"
Goku whined, "But it's so much better than--"
"Than what?" she erupted, grabbing him by the collar. "Than the names I've suggested? Than Ryuunosuke, Hitoshi, Ukyo, Megumi, or Haruna? Than Steve, Pete, Gary, Sonia, or Sue? Heck, better than Marron or Trunks? Why is it always about you, Goku?"
"Because I'm the main character," he flatly stated.
"Whatever! I'm naming these three," she proclaimed, "and that's final!"
"Um... can I leave now?" the doctor sheepishly asked.
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Master Roshi's house, four more months later...
"And so I've come to you guys for help," Chichi concluded, glancing at them hopefully. "I thought that coming up with names would be easy, but at this rate we'll have three more 'Go-kids'. Do you have any ideas?"
The others stared thoughtfully at the expectant mother. Chichi, now extremely pregnant (nine months), was sitting on the sofa with her hands clasped her hands around her bulging abdomen. It was plain to see from the look in her eyes that she was desperate, and their hearts went out to her.
"And Gohan and Goten haven't come up with any good names?" Yamcha asked. "They were always really creative kids."
"Feh. As usual, they're siding with their father," Chichi replied with a hint of annoyance. "As for Dad, I love him to death but 'Ox King Jr.' is just a bit too... old fashioned."
"Yeah, um, 'old fashioned'..." Oolong replied, sweatdropping.
"Well, any ideas, guys?" she asked with a tired sigh.
After a few moments of silence, Chaotzu said, "I know! How about 'Gogurt'?"
"No!" Chichi shouted. "Besides, that's an overpriced kid's dessert!"
"Name one 'Gokart', then!" Tien suggested.
"Again, no!" the world's strongest woman growled.
"Howsabout 'Goaway'?" Bulma said, smiling. "That's a good name!"
"No--it--isn't!" she fumed.
"You should name the girl 'Goesoutwitholdmen'," Dende said with a grin.
"What planet are you from?" Chichi snapped. "Oh... right. Namek."
"Hmm... Akira Toriyama?" Piccolo ventured.
"Now, who would name their kid that?" she scoffed.
"Little Vegeta 1, 2, and 3!" Vegeta proclaimed. "That is what they shall be named!"
"Don't make me kill you..." Chichi threatened darkly, shutting the arrogant prince up.
"Wait! I've got it!" Master Roshi exclaimed. "Name them Cindy, Mindy, and Lindy!"
"B-but two of them are boys, Roshi!" she reminded him.
"Who cares? Those three are the best stippers in 'Dirty Old Man' magazine!" he cackled.
For a moment, everyone thought that she was going to clobber the old fart. Instead, the poor, stressed out woman broke down and began crying. Everyone in the room felt awful. Despite their best efforts, they couldn't seem to come up with names to please her.
"Chichi..." Android 18 said, putting an arm around her. "Name one 'Ryu'."
"H-huh?" she said, wiping the tears from her eyes. Managing a smile, she said, "You know, that was a name I was thinking of when we had Gohan..."
"Sure, that's a great name!" Krillin said, patting her on the back. "Come to think of it, how about naming the other boy 'Yoshi'? That's a nice name."
"You know, it is!" Chichi said, the half-smile becoming a full-blown grin. Why hadn't she thought of this earlier? Of all the weirdos her husband associated with, only two had managed to name their kid something that was neither stupid nor a bad pun: Krillin and 18!
"I still think 'Gogetem' would be better..." Trunks muttered, warranting a quick blow to the head from his father.
"Ms. Chichi?" a soft voice to the left of the couch spoke up. Looking over the side, Chichi saw that it was little Marron.
"Hello, Marron! Do you have an idea, too?" she giggled, picking the girl up and setting her on her lap (a tight squeeze, but she still fit).
Marron nodded and whispered something into her ear. Chichi grinned and rubbed her head.
"Y'know, kiddo, I just might have to use that..."
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A few weeks later...
"WAAAAAAH! W-WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"And that's the last of them!" the doctor said, handing Chichi her fourth son. "So, did you and your husband ever agree on names for them?"
Ignoring part of the question, she pointed and said, "He's named Ryu, this little guy is Yoshi, and her name is Sarah."
"Those are fine names!" he laughed. "I have to say that they're much nicer that 'Gobert' or whatever your husband suggested. Nurse, please put those names on their birth certificates."
After following the doctor's instructions, the nurse walked down the hall to file them with the records office.
Glancing at Sarah, the doctor cleared his throat and said, "I am curious about something, though. If you don't mind my asking, why did you give the girl a Western name?"
"Well... a friend suggested it," Chichi replied, trying to supress a giggle. Marron's actual suggestion had been "Sarah Pancake", but this was close enough. Besides, by the time her daughter got to school, she would probably be grateful for the omission.
Chichi was just about to nurse the new additions to her family when she saw what looked like a huge caterpillar (with spiky hair) scurrying down the hall. "What the heck?" she thought. "How in the world did he escape?"
"Doctor, hold the kids for a moment," Chichi commanded, handing the three crying babies over to him. He was about to protest, but the scary look of enraged determination on her face silenced his complaints.
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"Darn that Chichi!" Goku growled, crawling on his belly down the hall. The moment labor had set in, his wife (determined to keep the past from repeating itself) tied her husband up in ki-suppressing tape, tossed him in the janitor's closet, and locked the door from the outside. Luckily, Goku had managed to pick the lock with his hair.
"If I can just get to the records office before that nurse does, then I can stop this tragedy!" he grunted, doubling his speed. "Don't worry Gogo, Gobert, and Gokina! I won't let your mother mess your lives up with her stupid ideas!"
All of the sudden, Goku noticed a blue slipper lying on the floor.
"Huh. A slipper," he thought. "And look at that! There's a leg in it. Now where have I seen that sexy leg before?"
As Goku looked up, his tiny brain suddenly realized that he was staring at his wife. "Umm... Hi, Chichi! Shouldn't you be resting?"
"Sure..." she muttered, cracking her knuckles. "As soon as I safeguard my children's future... even if I have to threaten their father's future to do it!"
The nurse taking a coffee break in the next room listened fascinated as the sounds of bones breaking, punches and kicks landing, and cries of "PLEASE, NO! NOT THE HAIR!" wafted inside.
"Man, the maternity room gets more brutal every year," she thought, taking another sip of coffee.
THE END
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Another week, another exercise in stupidity. I hope I don't sound like a Goku-basher; it's just that Chichi lets him get away with a lot more than she should (for example, flying off on 8-year training missions for no particular reason). I guess she's just a patient lady.
Please review; I hope you will, yes I do. Toodles!