Author's Note: This was inspired by random thoughts that popped into my mind and was written around midnight when I was very tired, so excuse me if it is not extraordinarily good. I hope you like it, and if you do please review. If you don't well...don't review. Flamers will by sprayed with a fire extinguisher and then thrown into shark infested waters, so please don't flame me.

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in this, with the single exception of the speaker that says maybe two sentances. All other characters are from FAKE, and I would not dare to claim that I created them myself.

Lie Detector Love

I really put my foot in it this time, though this time it really wasn't my fault. I swear it wasn't! I can't help the fact that I am utterly irresistible to those of the male and female persuasion, though I'm not entirely sure that J.J counts as either one. He's more of a neutered simian if you ask me. However, to get back on track I really did not do anything, at least this time. I can't help it that Ryo has extraordinary timing that just happens to work against me. He walks in at the most inopportune times, right when I am caught in extenuating circumstances where it seems as though I am in the wrong; though this time I was completely innocent. I did not make Drake hug me, nor did I make J.J maul me, nor did I make the pretty red-head that Ryo and I saved from a mugging corner me and kiss me. I was in the process of stopping her when Ryo walked in, and even from across the room I could see the hurt and anger in his eyes. I didn't want to kiss her, and I tried to stop her, though evidently not hard enough or she would not have been able to do so, but the worst thing of all is that I hurt the one I really love and care about. I don't give a damn about that she-devil. I don't even know her name!

Now Ryo won't talk to me or let me into the apartment, Bikky has kicked me in the shins five hundred times, and even Carol is giving me dirty looks. At the office things are even worse, because every time I try to explain what happened to Ryo he gives me this sad/confused/furiously angry look and then throws something at me before storming away. He is being entirely irrational and acting more like a woman everyday. I actually wish he was a woman, because then the potted plant he threw at me this morning probably would have missed my head and I wouldn't had to have had stitches. The chief really wasn't happy with him about that, and told him that if he wanted to kill me to do it outside where my blood wouldn't stain the carpets. I truly feel much loved.

Being partners with the love of your life has a few serious drawbacks, number one on that list being the fact that when we get mad at each other it shows in our work. Normally we are very much like dance partners, working together perfectly like a well-oiled machine. We can read each other very well and we know what the other is thinking before they think it, and thus can anticipate problems. He knows my weak and strong points, just as I know his, and he knows my trigger points as well as I know his. We can normally work out any situation, no matter what because of the way we work together. When he gets angry though, it all falls apart. He goes ice on me and I can't read a damn thing, though I can sometimes guess at what he is thinking. Normally the ice thaws after a day or two, but we're going into a week now and he's still shutting me out. I'm frustrated, guilty, angry (with him and myself), sad, lonely, and generally falling apart. I really hate how much hold he has over my emotions, but since it is him, there is nothing that I can really do.

Today, five days since the incident with that demon woman, they are having a lie detector seminar and showing everyone how to use the equipment and how to read it. Of course, we went over it at the Police Academy but there is new technology today and they are forcing us to go through a refresher course. Guess who the guinea pig is? Yep, that's right, it's me. I am not at all happy about it, but the Chief said that unless I let them use me as a test subject he would lock me in a room with an armed Ryo, which would not be healthy at all. Ryo is one thing, but an armed and angry Ryo is another thing all together.

I'm all hooked up to this damn machine and the speaker steps up. "Now, we have someone here to question you, Mr. Laytner. It's your partner, Mr. Maclean." Did he really just say what I thought he said? Please God let him have said something else. Ryo walks out, holding a piece of paper, with his ice expression already in place. Shit. Wait, correction, fuck. I am completely and utterly screwed. He is going to rip me to shreds and I know it. I know it from the glint in his dark eyes. "We gave Mr. Maclean the job of writing his own questions in order to make this as comfortable as possible for you." Oh, fuck. Get me the fuck out of this chair! Am I hyperventilating yet? I think I'm hyperventilating. Oh god, why can't I just spontaneously combust?

"Mr. Laytner," he begins. I'm not sure whether he is using my last name because he's still seriously pissed at me or for the sake of formality. I'm not sure of anything anymore. I'm not even sure that I'm alive anymore. I might have suffocated myself to death and not known it. "Are you a citizen of New York?" Well, I wasn't expecting that. Maybe I will survive this after all.

"Yes." The questions continued like that for a while, simple, straightforward questions with no hint of hostility, malice, or forgiveness. Then it started.

"Do you love J.J?" Oh, shit. J.J stood up, staring at me with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. There is definitely only one answer to that.

"Hell no." J.J frowns and tears well in his eyes but I shrug it off by giving him the middle finger. The entire room laughs.

"Did you kiss that woman?" Utter silence fills the room and all eyes are upon us. My heart beats faster and faster. I shake my head, almost too stunned to speak.

"No." I utter slowly and there is a glint of belief in his eyes. Then he asks me the ultimate and last question.

"Do you love me?" It is so quiet that it is little more than a whisper, but I am absolutely certain that everyone in the room hears it. There is not a doubt in my mind as I answer instantly.

"Yes." Utter silence fills the room again and I almost roll my eyes, but then I am so surprised that I can barely think. Ryo jumps forwards and presses his lips against mine, our first kiss in five days. It is so fiercely passionate and his lips are so sweet beneath mine that I can barely breath, smothered by the love. I wrap my arms around him, pulling a number of expensive items off the table, as an excited babble breaks out in the room. The speaker who came with the equipment squeaks and jumps for the equipment that I accidentally pulled off, cursing us in four different languages, though we completely ignore him.

We finally break apart after a bright flash, a crack, and a high-pitched squeal of excitement. Looking over Ryo's shoulder, I see Carol holding Bikky's collar in one hand and a camera in another. "They're so cute together!" She squeals and I have to smile. We really are, aren't we? Ryo looks down at me and leans down to whisper in my ear.

"If I ever see you kiss anyone other than the Penguin or myself ever again I am going to kill you, okay?" I smile up at him and kiss him again. I wouldn't dream of it.