Havoc stepped into the office. Yet another day of trying to make it look like they were busy and in no way putting off the work that needed doing. It really was a hard life, being one of Colonel Mustangs subordinates. He sat down at the long table, stretched his arms over his head then lit a cigarette.

He was so completely exhausted. Even after Ed had left last night, he still hadn't gotten any sleep. He just couldn't get the image out of his head, of Ed so distraught and Havoc unable to really be of any use.

He was also unable to forget the way Ed had almost fled the house after he had woken. Havoc thought that perhaps that was the thing that had hurt him the most. Ever.

Havoc's eyes snapped open at a sudden bang on the table in front of him. He jerked forward, excuses as to why he wasn't working already forming before he realised it wasn't Hawkeye, it was Breda.

"You look tired. Hard night last night?" he asked with what could only be described as a leer

"I suppose you could say that," Havoc sighed. He wasn't entirely sure what Breda knew about what he was doing, but he thought it best to err on the side of caution. He didn't think that it would be a good thing to come out and say he had fallen for the youngest male in the military. Neither were really a good thing.

"Shot down again, were you? Never mind, it happens to the best of us. Still, if its that young blonde thing, I'm sure you can try again."

Havoc swung his head around, trying to see if there was anything more to what Breda was saying. Breda merely looked back though, his face a picture of innocent interest.

Havoc forced himself to grin.

"Yeah. Never give up, eh?"

-------

What is wrong with me?

It seemed that tantra had been playing nonstop through Eds head for weeks now. It had been almost a month since his last encounter with Havoc. A month of nothing more than nods in the corridor. He didn't know what was going on. He shouldn't have left as abruptly as he had, he knew that now. He could have at least had the decency to say thank you, if nothing else.

He wondered if Havoc was angry with him. Whenever Ed approached him, Havoc face became...strained, as if he were holding back from something.

He must be angry with me, and is trying not to make a scene. I mean, I DID break into his house, sleep in his bed and then practically run out.

So, every time he tried to talk to Havoc, and he got that look, he'd find something else that suddenly needed doing. And there was the nod, and that was it.

Even Al had noticed.

Of course Al has noticed, you moron. Al notices EVERYTHING.

There had hardly been a night go by when Al hadn't asked Ed if he was going to tell him what was wrong. Ed always ignored, or sidestepped the question, but Al had the patience of a saint. He would just keep asking, night after night, until Ed gave him an answer he was satisfied with. And he would be satisfied with nothing less than the truth. The problem was, what was the truth?

Do I miss him? Or do I just need to have that outlet, no matter who it is?

Ed had an inkling he knew the answer to that. He just wasn't ready to acknowledge it yet.

-------

Havoc couldn't quite believe the state of his brain lately. He'd been making stupid mistakes. Mustang had already hauled him into his office three times in as many weeks to have him up about it. Yesterday, the Colonel had decided he had had enough, and told Havoc to take a few days off to get himself together.

So, here he sat, alone in his home. He had been sitting on the front stairs all morning. If he was being honest with himself, he would have said it was in the hope that a certain blonde head would come walking around the corner.

However, not being honest, he told himself it was because the sun would help cheer him up.

What would you say to him anyway, huh?

Would you ever tell him how you feel?

The sun. That was why he was here. No other reason. He was just looking up the road every ten seconds because his neck hurt, and it helped to stretch.

Don't give me that shit. You're in love with him. When are you going to admit that to yourself?

Havoc got up. Sitting out here was going to do nothing but drive him crazy. If he wasn't there already. He turned, one hand out to open the door, when a flash of movement caught the corner of his eye. He turned around to see that red-coated figure striding up the path.

"Ed!" he exclaimed in surprise, his hands suddenly sweating.

Nows your chance. If you've got the balls, anyway.

Havoc did his best to shut the voice down, and watched Ed approach the stairs. The younger blonde had his hands behind his back, and his eyes darted back and forth as if on the look out for enemies.

"Uh, hi. I just came to say, you know, thank you. For the other week, I mean."

Havoc was surprised. He had assumed Ed had put that out of his mind.

"So, yeah, I just wanted to say that. I didn't mean to make you angry or anything."

Havoc stepped down the stairs, closer to the boy.

"Angry? I was never angry with you Ed. I kind of thought you were angry with me, to be honest."

Eds eyes widened in surprise.

"I'm so pathetic, aren't I?"

He couldn't tell him now, but somehow, he thought he could wait. One day, Ed would be ready to hear it.

Havoc smiled, and lifted a hand to the side of Ed's face.