Disclaimer: Don't own YYH. Jeez, it's FanFiction! What did you expect?

Chapter 10: The Hard Truth

As I wake up, I realize that my left arm can move again. It's no longer stiff and bony. I think it may be 90 percent healed.

I begin to flex it as I sit up. Yeah…it feels exactly as it did before the break.

But as for the rest of me, my bruised leg has started to heal. It's no longer purple but a shade of brown, which is how a bruise should look like. The same with the base of my palm.

But my cut looks, if anything, worse. I hope that foul spiked whip hasn't infected it. I mean, suppose that had the AIDS virus on it or something? Maybe I'm coming down with something…

I sit up completely and look out of my glass cage. My captors are still asleep in their previous positions. All good.

A thought occurs to me. I can't let them know how much I'm healing. I'm going to have to play the doom and gloom until they let me out, at which point I'll be completely healthy and escape easily!

But I have bigger problems. I am really, really hungry (I haven't eaten for at least 36 hours), and I have to pee badly. There is no way either of these things are getting done while I'm stuck in here, that's for sure.

I take a huge breath. "HIEI AND KUWABARA! YOU AREN'T BEING VERY GOOD KIDNAPPERS! I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S UNBLIEVABLE WHAT JERKS YOU TWO ARE, AND GOOD-FOR-NOTHINGS TOO! YOU AREN'T TAKING CARE OF-" Oh good. They're awake. Not that anything could sleep through that racket.

It is Hiei who talks; Kuwabara is rubbing his eyes. "God, what's the matter? That gave me ringing in my ears!"

"Same here…"mutters Kuwabara.

"I'M HUNGRY AND I NEED A BATHROOM NOW!"

Hiei makes a face, and starts to talk to Kuwabara.

(Kuwabara and Hiei's whispered conversation)

"Well, you're a ningen like her, what do we do?"

"Feed her!" Kuwabara hisses.

"What about the other order? We were given instructions to take care of it…"

"It's a her, not an it! And I have no idea what we're going to do! I'm not used to being around girls…maybe Kurama will know something."

"But as Kurama is in the Spirit World, we're going to have to figure this out on our own!"

"And I don't know how!" snaps Kuwabara.

"Neither do I!"

There is a very angry pause.

"We could," begins Kuwabara, "let her out of her cage."

"NO WAY! We still don't know the full extent of her abilities. We can't take the chance!"

"Hiei, in case you didn't know, when a human has to pee, it can only wait so long! And we don't want her living in her waste, right?"

"Yeah…god, this is awkward."

"I know, believe me."

Hiei says, "Well, I guess we could let it out for a second – if it's only to pee, then it's okay, right?"

"Right."

(Back to Kara)

"Where is the Spirit World? Is that heaven or something? Your code for headquarters, in other words?"

"You know, your listening in on conversations that don't concern you gets old fast. And…of course it's a code."

I shrug it off. "But it gives me so many rewards. And is it my fault I have bat hearing? But are you really going to let me out of my cage to pee?"

"It's our only option for now. We'll someday build you a chute where you can do your thing…"

They are both very red.

I look back and forth impatiently. "Well? Can I go now?"

"I guess…" Hiei walks over, strokes a tile, presses buttons on a code box and the front half of my prison melts away.

"Come." Hiei grabs my wrist roughly and leads me out into the dark tunnel.

Once inside of it, we walk a few feet and he shows me a door inside. I can make out a little handle on the left.

"Okay. I guess you know how to use a toilet, so I won't go into details. There's a light switch to your right when you go in. And you won't be able to escape because I'll be here the whole time." He smirks. I'm all right though. I wasn't expecting any flaws in the beginning.

I open the door with a creak, go inside, and shut it quickly.

I flick the light and use the toilet, but I don't flush it. He needs to think that I'm still here.

I look around frantically. It's a total box. There's no openings except for the door, which was guarded last time I checked.

There must be something here that can help me later!

I glance. There's the toilet. I doubt anything there will be useful in any way. There's the toilet paper – forget it.

There are also some peeling tiles on the walls, revealing metal framework around it.

There's my ticket.

I peel away one tile completely, and I expose some metal things behind it.

Also known as lock picks.

Don't know what I'll use the for, but it's something.

The door bangs. "Hurry up in there!"

"All right, just a sec!" I shout.

I maneuver the wire around itself, and eventually come up with a perfectly shaped wire rod. With a slight Karate chop, I free it from the rest of the wire mesh and bend it into a shape that cannot be named but can be fit into my pocket.

I flush the toilet quickly, as Hiei seems ready to break the door down, and open it with another screechy creak.

Hiei glares at me and leads me back to the cage.

He throws me on the pillow quite hard, and I notice Kuwabara in the corner.

"What's he doing?"

Hiei doesn't answer; he only looks pointedly.

Finally, Kuwabara spins around. He has simply bread and cheese. The cheese is in all uneven strips, and the knife on the desk that he was working at shows that he cut it himself.

"What's this? Just bread and cheese? I wanted a gourmet meal!" I need to see how much whining they'll take. I just might be able to drive them crazy if they whine enough. But it's important to experiment in the event that they'd kill me.

"Look, darling, I'm getting tired of your attitude. Whoever expects the kidnapped to get treated nicely?" Asks Kuwabara in a deranged sort of way.

"Maybe the kidnapped does, you ever think of that?"

"Who cares what the kidnapped thinks anyway? I certainly don't. I think, if anything, that you should shut your mouth. Quieter people are more popular."

"But you do know that I have to exercise my voice?" It's true. My voice, now used so often, is losing its original rusty creak that I hated. Now I sound cigarette free again. Not that I ever tried cigarettes, but that's just how I talked/

"No…"

"And I'm not campaigning for your support anyway. Who cares what the kidnapper thinks?"

"Um…well, technically, according to the movie Captured…wait a sec. Just eat your food! I don't care if it isn't gourmet style!"

Hiei, who has been completely and utterly silent in a sulky way, pipes up, "Kuwabara, do you only understand kidnapping and the kind of effort involved by watching movies?"

"How else could I know it? I never done this before, and I don't feel too great about it now that I've started."

"Please, you baby. Sometimes you have to fight dirty."

"That doesn't mean I have to like it! I still don't know why we need her!"

"Kara, this is why I am so hostile. I'm so used to being around this utter moron."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MORON, SHORTY?"

"Please, Kuwabara. That name gets so old. You need to get with the times. Start calling me something meaner."

"Okay, you oaf!"

"Uh-uh. Not going to cut it. You are so outdated, you idiot."

"Oh really, you idiot?"

"Wrong again. You can't use the same insult twice."

"Oh you can't, you cotton-head?"

Hiei stares at him in abject horror coupled with annoyance. "You are the biggest animal ever."

He looks offended – more so then when I tried to embarrass him. Perfect.

"Yeah, you are, Kuwabara." I say loudly.

Kuwabara looks sideways quite terrifyingly at me, and stares. "I am not…"

"Yeah you are." This is my opportunity to make him snap. I already know how to bend Hiei.

"I AM NOT!"

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because…because…I can do math and stuff!"

"And yet you 3 out of 100 percent on your tests." Says Hiei slowly, with a look of dawning comprehension.

"And Kuwabara, no offense, but you aren't too bright." I say.

"Says who? I'll knock 'em dead!"

"Never mind that. Look at you. You are way too tall to be a human. And your antisocial tendencies show us that you don't do well with most other humans. And as for your brains, well, look at how small your head is." I say loudly.

Kuwabara feels his head. "I don't think so…"

"Yes, it is, Kuwabara." Says Hiei, eyes glinting malevolently.

"Kuwabara, it's hard for me to say it, but you can only be an ape."

"WHAT!"

"What do you mean, what? Monkeys don't get along with most humans, like you. There is no other 14 year old alive that is 7 feet tall, except for the giant gorilla. And you have the intelligence of one too. Most gorillas can do math at the level you can." Hiei has immensely enjoyed saying this.

"But my parents are humans through and through!"

"They could've adopted you." I say.

"But…I don't have hair!"

"Yes you do. What do you call that mop on top of your head?" Says Hiei.

Kuwabara feels it. "It's hair all right. But I can prove you wrong. I don't have full body hair."

"Yes you do." Says Hiei.

"No I don't."

"Yes you do. Look!" Repeats Hiei.

Hiei grabs Kuwabara's arm and points out some very fine hairs that everyone has.

Kuwabara inhales shakily. "Am I…really…a gorilla?"

"You look like one to me." I say.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

Hiei also looks scared. If I weren't caged, then I would have backed away.

"HOW COULD MY PARENTS LIE TO ME ALL THESE YEARS! I WASN'T BORN IN TOKYO! I WAS BORN IN UGANDAAAAAAAAA! HOW COULD THEY THINK HIDING THE AWFUL TRUTH WOULD HELP ME? HOW COULD THEY?"

"Um…" Hiei and I begin together.

"SHADDUP! JUST LEAVE MY DAMAGED EGO ALONE!"

Without warning, he runs out the door into the tunnel. He looks close to tears.

Okay, that was definitely not the effect I was going for.

Hiei and I stare at each other. I'm surprised to see a smile playing about his thin lips.

"I congratulate you." He says happily. "No one's done that to Kuwabara for a loooong time. Completely priceless."

"Thanks, but your opinion doesn't count."

"And why not?" The smile is replaced with his usual scowl.

"Because you're a bi, right? You said so yourself, bis opinions don't count…"

Hiei's pupils contract suddenly. "No. I AM NOT A BI! I…I CAN'T BE! I KNOW…I KNOW I'M NOT!"

"Too bad, Hiei. You have to marry Kurama."

Hiei practically melts, and he takes the same route that Kuwabara does.

Heheheh. Now I can try to get out of here with my lock pick!

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A/N Review! Oh, how I wish my little Kurama was straight! And anyway, I do think Hiei is straight, but for humor's purposes she is making him believe he is a bi. Again, not meant to offend bis…