Dreams of Eternity

by Evil Neko

Something isn't right on Spira. When Tidus returns to Besaid with the newfound ability to see the dead, he starts to get nervous, but when Yuna is affected as well, they realize that they need serious help. But what can three "angels" do?

16. Your paranoia's probably worse

Just a note—

For anyone who's reading my original story (Sic Transit Gloria) on fictionpress.com, there are massive, massive spoilers in this chapter. STG is about my Angels, and DOE takes place about five years after it ends, so... yeah. Probably just wasting space, since I think all of three people (if that) read STG.

*-.-*

There are those days when a person wakes up and knows, without a doubt, that his or her life is going to change that day. The tension in the air is palpable, thick enough that you can slice it with a knife.

It was a morning like that, some time in mid-June. The air was already hot and humid, as Besaid springs and summers usually were. The weather conditions made me want to turn over, nuzzle closer to Tidus, in whose bed I was currently laying, and go back to sleep.

I got a little surprise when I tried to accomplish this, however.

I expected the boy next to me to wrap his arms around me, or wake up and say, "Good morning," or something. Anything other than what he did.

The blond blitzer mumbled, "Too hot," and pushed me off the bed.

A yelp escaped my lips as I fell onto the floor, my legs tangled up in sheets that had once covered us both. This must have been what pulled him the rest of the way out of sleep, because his head popped up over the bedside. His eyes were wide, and he apologized profusely.

"Yunie! I'm sorry! I was, like, half asleep! Sorry! Sorry!"

I giggled and struggled to get up. "It's okay, really. I'm not hurt or anything, it just surprised me."

"I'm sorry," he said again, sitting up and holding out his hand to me. I grasped it gently with my own, and he easily pulled me back into bed with him.

Wrapping his arms around me, Tidus held me so close against his chest that I could hear his heart beat. "It's hot." I stated simply.

"Gee, I didn't realize."

"Oh, hush," I responded with a smirk.

"Fine, fine. You know I just like poking fun."

We sat in silence for a little while, neither of us knowing nor caring what should be said. After a moment, I broke the silence. "So, today's the big day," I stated simply.

Tidus looked down at me, confused. "Hmm?"

"Myena's . . . going to do her . . . her exorcism today, isn't she?"

He pulled his eyes from mine. "Oh. Yeah."

I pulled back from the muscular chest I had been formerly resting my head against. "What's wrong?"

Tidus raised his right hand and rubbed the back of his neck rather sheepishly. "It's nothing. Really."

"No," I pressed. "It's not nothing. It's something. Now, what was it?"

He didn't say anything.

Suddenly it hit me. "You're afraid."

He blushed. " . . .Yeah. Guess I am." He rubbed his neck again, his cheeks darkening even more.

"Why?" I questioned. I was afraid, too, but I wanted to know what could scare my near-fearless lover.

"I guess . . . I dunno, I don't know what's going to happen."

"It's just magic," I pointed out practically.

"Yeah, but she said she needed us to do the magic with her, and I've never done anything that powerful. You know me, haste and slow are all the spells I need."

"But that doesn't mean you should fear powerful magic."

"I know, I know, but . . ."

" . . .But you can't help it?" I finished for him.

He nodded, looking away.

"Hey," I said quietly, gently pulling his head onto my shoulder. "Don't worry about it, okay?" I whispered into his hair. "Myena knows what she's doing. She told me she's done these things so many times she could practically do it in her sleep."

His grasp around my waist tightened. "I know. But I just can't help it. I feel like something bad's going to happen."

I smiled a little and pulled his head close so that his forehead touched mine. My lips gently and briefly pressed against his. "I'll protect you. Promise. Nothing bad will happen as long as I'm around you."

He reached a hand up and placed it against my cheek, rubbing my lips with his thumb. "I love you, Yunie," he said quietly. "Don't you ever forget it, okay?"

I ran my hand over his chin and giggled. "You need to shave."

He smirked. "And the award for best ruined moment of the year is . . ."

I laughed again. "I love you too, Dusty. And I always will." I leaned my face forward a tiny bit, so that our lips were millimeters apart. "No matter what."

*~*~* ([Once again, that means a new character's POV.])

"It's fairly simple, really," Myena assured Yuna, Rikku, and I a few hours later. "All you have to do is say what I tell you to."

"You get the easy part," Theo, who stood behind Myena, remarked. "Arel, Myena, and I have to do the complicated bits."

"Well, yeah," Rikku agreed laughingly, "because you guys have more experience with this kind of stuff!"

It was two o'clock by the time Yuna and I decided to get out of bed, and two-thirty when the Angels showed up, each of them carrying a bag.

Myena opened her own sage-green satchel and pulled out three white bundles of cloth. She handed one to each of us and glanced briefly at Arel. The other Angel nodded and looked at those of us from Spira.

You three need to take a cleansing bath. I can set one up, but, well, I need somewhere to do it.

Rikku nodded. "There's a bathroom upstairs. Here, let me show you where." With that, the girl bounded up three stairs to a small landing and waited. Arel grabbed his bag and followed her up the rest of the steps.

Yuna giggled a little, drawing everyone's attention. "They make a cute couple, don't you think?"

Theo glanced at Yuna. His eyes held some strange sort of envy, and I frowned as he shrugged disinterestedly, as if he hadn't noticed. "I suppose so." The man's voice was nonchalant. I wondered what exactly it was that he was hiding.

*~*~*   ([WARNING: rambling, ahoy!])

"In here." I moved to grab the doorknob . . . at the same time Arel did.

His hand covered mine over the brass knob and stayed for a moment.

Not knowing what to do next, I slowly turned the knob, and the Angel pulled his hand away from mine so quickly that I wondered if my skin had somehow burned him.

I ignored the blush that was quickly spreading across his face and motioned to the bathroom.

The angel smirked. Ladies first. Even his mental voice was mocking.

I threw him a sarcastic smile and decided that I'd show him. Using the technique he taught me, I thought the word "Cute" and imagined myself literally pushing the sound from my mind.

The man's head snapped around and he stared at me, then slowly grinned. You're getting better, Rikku, he commented as I walked past him.

A triumphant smile spread across my face as I perched on the edge of the sink.

Arel was really a lot more interesting than most people noticed. I didn't know what it was about him, but something in the way he moved, or how his eyes looked when in deep conversation, entranced me. Sometimes I couldn't stop watching him.

Like now. His sleeves were rolled almost all the way to his shoulders, exposing muscular arms and various scars as he waited for the tub to fill with water.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I didn't want to leave, and I figured Arel would get suspicious if I just sat there staring at him for the whole time.

He looked glanced at me and then at his supplies. The Angel nodded and moved to the side, picking up a large jar of tiny green crystals. I'm going to pour these in the water. You just stir it around with your hands and make sure it settles out even, okay?

I nodded and hopped off the counter, plopping onto my knees next to him. The water made a gentle swish as I swirled my hands in it. I heard the pop of a lid being pulled off of something and the tinkering of the small crystals falling onto the bottom of the bath.

A moment later I heard Arel's voice in my mind again. Okay. That's enough.

I nodded and pulled my hands from the water, drying them with a towel. "What else can I do?"

He handed me a white candle and motioned toward the rim of the tub. Set it up around the outside.

I nodded and placed the beeswax pillar in a corner where the porcelain of the bath joined the tiled wall and turned to Arel. He put another candle, this time a dark, rich blue, in my hand and started on his side of the basin, setting out bars of scented soap, flowers, and more candles.

I sighed upon seeing how Arel had unknowingly made a simple task into a work of art and plopped the candle that still rested in my hand unceremoniously next to the white one.

--

A few minutes later the bath was ready for whoever was to use it. I stood to go, but suddenly felt something brush against my leg. I looked down and saw Arel looking up at him, his hand lightly resting just above my knee.

Stay, he coaxed, his mental voice quiet and seductive.

I smiled a little.

The Angel blushed. I . . . need your help with this next part.

I said nothing as I sat back down, but the smug look on my face spoke enough. The possibility that he only wanted me to stay because he enjoyed my presence made my heart soar.

He put his hands over the water and, after motioning with his head for me to do the same, closed his eyes.

I, of course, obeyed the unspoken command.

I heard him in my mind again, his words holding a strangely soothing quality to it, like a murmur that floated lazily inside me. Just close your eyes. Breathe deeply. Imagine that there's a white light flowing from the ground into your legs. It swirls into your body, through every organ and limb, until it gets all the way to the tips of your fingers. Imagine it's coming out through the pores in your hands, and falls into the water below them.

It was a lot easier than I had thought it would be. I obeyed his every command, concentrating as hard as I could on this task. There was a strange feeling in my chest, one I had never felt before. It was as though golden butterflies were flying around my lungs, being absorbed by the alveoli there and circulated through my entire body. The sensation made me want to laugh and dance and sing and run, all at once, but I managed to overpower the urge and stay where I was.

Then the last thing I expected happened. A voice to my right echoed off the walls, quiet and gruff from lack of use, but still strong and sure.

"Lady Epona," the voice began, "great goddess of water, I ask of thee, aid us now."

Confused questions rattled in my mind. Who was speaking? The only people in here were Arel and I. I knew that I wasn't the one speaking . . . so that meant it had to be my companion. The idea seemed strangely foreign to me, but I supposed it wasn't impossible.

"Great Mother, I ask of thee, purify this water. Make it cleansed and pure with thy great power, that it may pass this cleansing magic to those who bathe in its pure, holy light."

So Arel was finally talking. It was so strange to hear him through my ears instead of in my head, because when a person projects his or her voice to you using their psyche instead of their vocal chords, you don't really hear the specific words. You hear what they're saying the same way you hear your own thoughts: without real distinction, just something that suddenly pops into your head. The reason you know you aren't just thinking it is that you can feel the presence of the other person in your head. It's really hard to explain through words; it's one of those things you need to experience on their own.

Then, for some reason I couldn't understand, he started to speak the spell in rhyme.

"Great Epona, remove any blight,

In this water with thy shining light.

By all the force of land and sea,
As I do will, so mote it be."

He repeated the short poem a few times, giving me the feeling I should join in. But, as I opened my mouth to do so, the Angel fell silent.

Okay, Rikku. That's all we have to do.

I opened my eyes. "That's it? Just say some stuff and imagine other stuff?" Wow, Rikku. You sound brilliant.

Arel, however, smiled kindly. That's it, he assured me. It's a pretty simple spell.

I shrugged: hey, anything was fine with me, as long as it worked.

Um, Rikku . . .

"Yeah?" I responded cheerfully, secretly hoping that he was going to kiss me, before getting a hold of myself. He wouldn't want to kiss me. He was at least two years older than me.

But the Angel turned to face me and, still kneeling, pushed himself the tiniest bit closer to me. Thanks.

I frowned a little, wondering why he was thanking me. I hadn't done anything worthy of his appreciation.

Sensing my confusion, or reading my thoughts (something I really hoped he couldn't do), he explained, You know, for helping me and the others out so much. We wouldn't have been able to do any of the things we did if it weren't for your help.

I smiled. "It's what any decent friend would do," I answered simply.

There was a pause, and then an unidentifiable look slowly enveloped his eyes. Friends? Is that all we are? I was hoping that. . . perhaps there was some way. . .

The sending of thoughts stopped without an end.

". . .Yes?" I prompted, finding myself somehow nervous.

The Angel pulled himself onto his knees (he had been sitting on his heels before) and inched one leg forward, so that he was leaning scant inches in front of and slightly above me. Perhaps there was some way that we could some day be more. If I weren't so terrified of the inevitable kiss that was rapidly approaching, I would've been amused that Arel was so blunt and to-the-point, even with such an intimate statement as the one he just made.

I knew I was staring, and I knew it was rude, but I also knew that I couldn't look away, not even if I wanted to. . . which, of course, I didn't. "Can't we?" My voice came out as a whisper: anything louder would have ruined the moment.

Arel reached up a hand to my face, resting his palm against my cheek, and lifted my face gently towards his own. Though I knew it was coming, my eyes widened in shock when his mouth closed lightly over mine, then slowly, my eyelids closed.

*~*~*

I remember a case Theo, Myena, and I took on Earth once. Our orders were to investigate a demon that had concentrated its power in the body of a perky little gothic girl named Rachel. This creature made her do things she didn't want to: she'd black out for hours at a time, seemingly for no reason, while the demon possessed her and forced her to do its will.

On this specific case, we had to follow Rachel into an abandoned place the teenager had called an "amusement park." The park contained stands that we were told used to house games with stuffed-animal prizes or food that was sold to park visitors. There were great hulking forms made from bent steal and decaying wood (Rachel informed us that these were old rides that were too dangerous to use anymore).

In a turn of events, we ended up following Rachel (who, unbeknownst to us, was being possessed by the demon and trying to kill us all) onto one of the dangerous attractions that we later found out was called a roller coaster. The creature we were trying to kill had used its power to put the coaster back into use, sending us along a wild ride that quite nearly brought about our demise, until Myena and Theo thought of a counter-curse to turn the spell back on the demon.

The ride, once I looked back on it, would have been much more enjoyable if our lives weren't in great danger at the moment: the cars moved along the tracks at a speed that was wild and scary, wonderful and terrible at the same time.

That was what it was like for me to kiss Rikku. It felt like my body was being pushed forward at hundreds of miles per hour, being hit by many different emotions at once. On the one hand, it was wild and exhilarating, making my body pulse with life that it hadn't felt in years. On the other hand, it felt scary and forbidden, kissing a girl who was younger than me than anyone, save my partners, knew (Angels are near-immortal, and can look the age of twenty, as I did, for undeterminable amounts of time).

I was also acutely aware of her taste, more so than any other girl I'd ever kissed; when my lips met hers, I was reminded of the scent of sea and sand, of the way salt water tastes when accidentally swallowed while swimming, of the way it felt to revive something that hadn't seen life in centuries, of the Al Bhed's love for adventure and risk. While our lips were locked, I could feel everything that was important to her, everything she valued in life. I felt the severe love for her Al Bhed family and her favorite cousin, with whom she currently resided, the pain of how much she missed her Home, where, I had been told, her people had been united under one roof for the first time in many, many years.

All these thoughts and emotions passed through me like lightning; fast and hard, in a way that takes your breath away for a few moments, causing me to wonder if she was feeling the same rush of emotions from me. Did she feel my love for Myena, the sister whose relationship to me the Spirans had never been told, my pain at being taken from my home and brought to the Silver City to work the will of a ruler I had never seen? Did she feel anything I felt?

Or did I only get this rush because I was an Angel, and possessed powers that she didn't?

*~*~*

"What's taking them so long?" Myena muttered angrily. "Arel can cast this spell in five minutes, tops, and they're been in there twenty at least."

"Maybe they're making out on the bathroom floor?" I suggested, giggling like a ten-year-old.

Theo shot me yet another glare, but quickly regained his "I couldn't care less" attitude.

Frowning lightly, Tidus mused, "I think you hit a nerve, Yunie."

My gaze fell to the floor as I puzzled over the Angel. He was an enigma, of that much I was certain. I couldn't understand anything he did. But that was no surprise. If I knew what he was doing and why, I wouldn't need his help with this.

He sighed. "I am going to go check why it is taking so long." That was what he said, but what he meant was "I'm going to prove you wrong."

Myena sighed as well. "Excuse us for a minute, okay? I have to go talk to him."

*~*~*

What's wrong with you today?

Myena's voice echoed through my mind, and I sighed. Nothing, I responded, my thoughts carrying my anger to Myena's mind.

You're a liar, Theo. She said calmly. You're not getting attached to her, are you? If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: You can't become anything more than a savior to your charges, or you'll set yourself up for heartache. Just remember what happened with Kari.

I glared angrily at her. She didn't need to say that. She had no right calling upon my past the way she had. You do not have to remind me. Do you honestly think a single day goes by that I do not think of him, or what I did to him?

"Theo . . ." My partner spoke with her voice, instead of her thoughts and touched my arm gently.

I shrugged away from her. "Stop it. I did not need your condolences after it happened, and I do not now. You are not my friend, Myena. You are nothing more than my partner, okay?"

Her eyes fell to the ground. "Yeah, okay. Whatever." With that, she turned and headed towards the staircase. When she reached the top step, she hesitated and turned toward me again. "And Theo? Even if I'm not your friend . . . you're mine, whether you like it or not, and it's a friend's job to look out for her friends."

My patience was gone. "I do not care, Myena. You are one of those stupid people who makes the mistake of thinking that everyone cares about your input, well, you know what? I do not. I do not need your advice, and I do not need your sympathy for something I did years ago. Just stop."

"No, Theo," she replied angrily. "You stop. You stop pretending it was so long ago that it doesn't affect you any more."

"What makes you so sure it does?"

In one quick motion, she grabbed the end of the bandage that I'd wrapped around my hands that morning and tugged. The long, thin piece of linen fluttered a little in the air, as though upset at being disturbed from the position it had been in all day, then fell to the ground.

A little gasp escaped my lips. I tried not to look at my bare hand, but, like all things you will yourself not to do, the effort made something in my brain itch. I couldn't keep my eyes closed any longer: my eyelids slowly slid apart, and the bright red stains my mind had put on my hands stood out against my pale skin. It had taken me months to finally accept that the bloodstains I saw whenever I happened to glance any part of my hands weren't really there, that they were just an illusion I saw whenever I felt guilt about my first task as an Angel. It took me a year or more to admit that there was some small part of me that was insane enough to distort things I saw beyond all recognition.

These stains were what told Myena that I did, in fact, still care about what I had done five years ago.

"Just as I thought." Myena nodded grimly as she said this, for some reason beyond my comprehension.

Anger boiled in my veins, turning my blood to liquid fire. I could no longer contain my temper, and when I spoke, I couldn't control the words that came out, or the volume at which I spoke them. "Shut up! Just drop it! Do you think that I cannot feel regret? I can! And do you know what I regret now? I regret the fact that cursing in Eden can get me executed, because you know what I want to say to you now?" My voice rose in volume with the knowledge that I couldn't be punished in Eden for what I did on Spira. "Just shut the fuck up! I think I regret murdering my best friend more than you do, seeing as I was the one holding the fucking knife! I am the one who is fucking insane because of it! I do not need you to tell me how I should or should not feel about someone! Do you know what it is like to murder someone you love? Do you know how it feels when you carve out their heart and hold it in your hand while it tries to pump blood that is not there? Have you felt it wrench your heart when their last words are 'I love' and they die before they can even finish their sentence? Do not talk to me about what I have done to Kari, Myena. You have not gone through the shit I have, do not pretend you have!"

I didn't stop because I ran out of things to say. It was just that, at that moment, I suddenly realized that I was shouting at the top of my voice: everyone who had been in the house at the time of my outburst had come from wherever they had been to watch the cool, calm Theo who never let anything get to him when he finally lost it.

There were five people watching my outburst. One of them looked at me in confusion mixed with distrust, one in anger, two in confused pity, and only one with something resembling understanding. I met Arel's eyes, ignoring everyone else, and a silent understanding passed between us. When I walked down the stairs, shoving roughly past Tidus and Yuna, who had probably heard me screaming at Myena and came to see what was going on, he followed.

I couldn't stand to be in that place anymore. The entire house was throbbing with Lilith's power, her influence. I could feel her presence in every room, and, honestly, it was overwhelming. I had to get out of there.

I closed my eyes and concentrated (on what, I don't know, just that I had to concentrate). An image of the Besaidian shore flashed in my mind, and I clung to it. In my mind I saw myself sitting there, on the beach, my legs held up against my chest.

I held my hands out in front of me, palms facing away from me, my arms making a ninety-degree angle with my body. I quickly pulled them up and outward so they drew a circle in the air. I could vaguely hear the voices of the house's inhabitants and my partners trying to answer their questions.

"What's he doing? Arel? Myena?"

"He... Dagda! Arel! He's teleporting!"

Don't worry, Myena. I'll follow him.

"Hurry up! He's flickering!"

I've already got his signal. I know exactly where he'll be.

"Then follow him! You know I can't lock onto him, what with how mad he is at me now."

The voices faded behind a sudden rushing in my ears. I was being pulled in all directions at once, being forced forward and pushed backwards at the same time, moving everywhere at thousands of miles per hour. Then, suddenly, I felt the sun on my bare skin, the sand underneath me.

My eyes opened and I looked up, allowing the sun to scorch my retinas as I lay back from my sitting position.

Arel's head intruded on my vision as he leaned over me, his expression neutral.

"Do you mind?" I didn't feel like dealing with anyone right now. Why couldn't they leave me alone? "You are blocking my view."

"Of?" Arel turned his head to look in the sky, shading his eyes with his arm to keep the sun's rays, searching for whatever I was looking at.

"Of the sun." It took me a few seconds to realize he spoke with his voice instead of his mind. "You are talking again?" I needed to think of something, anything, besides Kari, who'd been summoned to my thoughts by Myena.

Arel laughed. "Sorry, would you rather I didn't?"

I shook my head a little and smiled slightly. "It is... nice." A blush crept up my cheeks as an unknown embarrassment coursed through me. Why was I embarrassed? This was just a friendly conversation between friends. Nothing to be embarrassed about.

It wasn't as though I were in love with him.

I smiled a little to myself. No. I wouldn't fall in love again. Especially not with a fellow Angel. I wouldn't repeat my mistakes again. Emotions take too much work to control, anyway. They hurt too much.

My fellow Angel grinned. "Well, thanks, I guess. Can I join you?" he motioned with his head to the spot on the sand next to me. When I nodded and propped myself up with my elbows, he lowered himself onto the ground, sitting with his bent legs crossed over each other. His eyes met mine, and he flashed me one of his contagious smiles, his eyebrows arching a little.

A small laugh escaped my lips. Arel was the only person who could cheer me up when I thought about Kari. He always was. When Kari had died, I tried to cry myself to sleep as silently as possible, but Arel always heard me. He came into my room every night for weeks after and stay up all night with me, letting me cry on his shoulder. There were times when he felt like my only friend, the only thing left in the world that was good.

I missed those nights. I learned so much about Arel then, while he said whatever came to mind in an attempt to soothe me and keep me from thinking about Kari. He told me about is home in the Summerlands, told me about the things he did there when he was young. It was then that I learned that Myena was his twin sister, and that she was one of four sisters and two brothers.

All I wanted now was to be able to cry on his shoulder again, to have one of his arms around me, his other hand running over hair, for him to calm me with his gentle voice until I fell asleep against him, only to wake up an hour later after a dream of what I did to Kari haunted my sleeping mind, and find him there still, sitting on the edge of my bed, his arms still around me. I wanted things to be like they used to be again, before we were too afraid of the misconceptions of anyone who saw us like that.

My thoughts were pulled back to the entire reason I was out here, and I pulled my eyes my friend's. "She did not need to say those things, you know. She should not have talked about him like she did. Just because he is dead now does not mean he never lived."

Arel nodded. "You're right. Myena doesn't really have much respect for the dead. She never has, honestly. When we learned that Ezra was killed in a raid, she barely turned the stone."

I ignored his strange idiom, passing it off as something from his homeland. "Ezra? One of your brothers?"

He nodded. "He was also one of Myena's best friends. He was the closest to our age at the time."

"How old were you?"

"Eleven, I think. Maybe twelve. Ezra was thirteen at the time, that I remember, because my mother sobbed over and over 'he was only thirteen' at his cremation."

I shuddered. "I am sorry, Arel, but I can't help but find that practice barbaric."

"That's not the point. Mader was bawling, as was most of our family, and Myena didn't shed a single tear. The moral of the story is" – at this point he stretched out and lay down next to me – "she doesn't mourn the dead. She told me once that after a person died, it was like they weren't people anymore. That she already had too many living people to worry about – at that time we helped our mother care for our own younger siblings as some of the other children in the village — to waste thought over the dead. And I guess once you get out of the habit of caring about certain things, it's hard to get back into it, seeing as she had very few people to care about once we were taken to the Silver City."

I sighed. "I suppose I am to blame, too. I overreacted."

Arel gave me a crooked grin. "You could say that again."

I punched him lightly in the arm, pretending to be offended, but a smile played on my face as well.

The smile faded quickly, however. "I understand why she said what she did. I mean, she was only looking out for me." I paused. "It just... hurts. Like ripping open a wound that has just healed."

Arel's look turned neutral, as well. "I know." He looked hesitant. "Do you want to talk about it?" His arm draped itself over my shoulders.

I shrugged, keeping my face emotionless even as my eyes filled with tears.

"Theo . . ."

I couldn't stand the kindness in Arel's voice. The tears spilled over and coursed down my cheeks as I pulled my legs up to my chest. I rested my forehead on my knees and, though I was willing myself not to, sobbed uncontrollably. I could vaguely hear my partner say my name again, but all I could comprehend at that moment was one simple thing: I was here and Kari wasn't. I'd never get to see his smile, hear his laugh, or even talk to him again. The reality of these thoughts, though I'd thought them millions of times in the past five years, hit me with the force of a brick crashing into my stomach at hundreds of miles an hour.

I felt an arm wrapping around my waist, gently pulling my close against a muscular chest. I rested my head on Arel's shoulder as I did so many years ago and wept, for Kari, because he was no longer here, and for myself, for the same reason.

And Arel, trustworthy, dependable, Arel, as always, was trying to calm me in the same way he had so long ago, smoothing my hair, whispering to me. My arms tightened around his waist involuntarily, but he didn't seem to notice. My hand rested on his lower back. He didn't notice that, either. Or maybe he did, and he was just ignoring it. He did, however, notice when my hand "accidentally" slipped down an inch or two.

"Hey, do I look like I'm taking advantage of you, Theo?"

I blinked, turning my head to look at him. "Uh . . . no. . ."

He grinned. "Then stop taking advantage of me."

I smiled a little, my tears slowing themselves to little sniffles, and I rested my head on my friend's shoulder again.

"Theo. . ."

"Yes?"

"You're not coming onto me, are you? I mean . . . I've told you before, I'm not--"

"I know, I know. You like women, and only women. I have not forgotten." My smile widened to show I meant no offense, and I again turned my head to look at him. "That does not mean that I cannot hug you, does it?"

"No, but it means you can't grope me."

"Fair enough." I sat up, leaning away from him, and wiped my eyes on the back of my hand. I snorted a little, refusing to meet Arel's eyes. "I feel like a little girl."

This made him laugh. "Hey, little girls aren't the only ones who cry."

"They are in Eden." Sexist though the statement was, it was true. Most boys didn't shed a single tear from the time they were eight, when they started training, until they got their first wings, because everyone cries when they first get their wings, even if some deny it. You'd cry, too, if your back were splitting almost in half.

My friend shrugged. "I guess adults in the Summerlands are more caring towards their kids. We don't get called names for showing emotion."

"You make it sound like children in Eden are paraded around town and get things thrown at them if they cry." Though I hated how my world was run, and who was running it, it was still my home, and this jab at its people and our outlook on feelings stung a small part of me.

Arel blushed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to insult you." Though I knew he could read minds when he wanted or deemed it necessary, I also knew he was excellent at reading people's emotions through their voice and body language, so I knew he wasn't using his powers.

I shrugged. "Do not worry about it. I mean, Eden makes itself an easy target for people from other dimensions."

He laughed and looked up at the sky. "It's getting late. We should get back to the house," he advised, standing.

I stayed where I was, shifting my position only to look up at him. "She will not forgive me."

My partner smiled. "She will. After all, you got angry, not her."

"Thanks, make me the bad guy." I smiled to show that my comment was meant only in fun.

"Well, you deserve it." He offered me his hand, which I accepted and used to pull myself up to a standing position. A muscular arm slung itself over my shoulders, and I flashed a sunny grin to the man on my left, no longer upset in the least. "But don't worry," Arel continued. "Really. She won't mad. I promise."

"How do you know, Mister Psychic?"

"Because I'm talking to her right now."

It was then, when he said that, that I noticed his eyes were slightly out of focus, the way they get when he's Sending. I let out a sharp breath in a mockery of a cough, looking toward the ground as we started toward the house. "For how long?"

Arel shrugged. "A while."

The conversation ended, allowing for us to walk on in companionable silence the rest of the way.

*~*~*

"Myena, what just happened??"

I was sitting on the stairs, my fingers massaging my temples and leaning so the railing supported my side. My vision was slightly dim, and I feared that I felt a migraine coming on. The last thing I wanted to do was answer questions from my charges. I would much rather lie down in a dark room and concentrate my energy on healing myself. Selfish though it was, I didn't feel like dealing with anyone right now, not after I'd spent so much energy arguing with Theo. Absorbing his anger like I had while we were communicating with thoughts had zapped almost everything in me. I needed to build my strength back up if I was going to lead the exorcism tonight.

I inhaled deeply. "Theo teleported. It's something us Angels are taught to do. It's very difficult; most of us prefer walking or, for the more experienced, flying. Theo always had a natural talent for it, though." I shrugged. That was as much of an explanation as they'd get from me until my head started to work again.

Yuna, who'd asked the question, nodded, satisfied.

It was Rikku's turn. "Where did he go?"

Why couldn't they shut up? These people should be psychic. Then they would know that I wasn't in the mood to answer questions. I just shrugged again in response to the blonde's question. "Hell if I know. When he was younger, right after his first task as an Angel, he discovered a minor, uninhabited dimension. He didn't tell anyone about it but Arel and me, so maybe that's where he went."

"Who the heck is Kari?"

I sighed. I knew this would be coming. "I'd say you should wait for Theo to tell you himself, but Brigid knows that, if it's up to him, you'll never know. And, since you all overheard us like that, I think he made it your business to know . . . and since those two ran off to who knows where, they made it my duty to tell you the story.

"Kari was a friend of ours. Well, I personally didn't know him well, but he slept in the same barrack as Arel and Theo. The three of us all at least knew of him, but he was . . . well, let's just say more than a friend to Theo. At least, that's how it seemed. But whether or not that's true isn't important. If friends were all they were, they were certainly good friends. The best, actually. They'd been through a lot together by the time Kari died. Too much to get into now.

"Now, it's important to understand one thing about Eden. Angels are warriors, and that's pretty much it. If you're born with some sort of disability, and you're male, you're killed on sight, no questions asked. If you're female, they wave it, but you can't get any sort of education, no matter how minor your disability is. Basically, your life path is set. Your only point of living is to get yourself pregnant. Sometimes they allow women to run their own shops or the like. But that's not the important part. If you're born healthy, you start training at age eight. For two years, you learn how to read and write Angelic, and you learn basic arithmetic, and, of course, basic fighting skills. When you turn ten, you become an apprentice. From then on, you learn only skills that can be used on the battlefield, basic defense and offense magic, and advanced fighting. This is all an apprentice does until dusk, when they're let off of classes and have free time. A person is an apprentice until they turn seventeen, when they're promoted to a rank called kouhai for a year. A kouhai studies under a pre-selected Angel for a year, and then they become an Angel themselves. As soon as they become an Angel, they're given two partners. The three Angels are assigned tasks, missions, whatever you want to call them, by the ruler of Eden. We don't know his name, but I can't tell you what we call him, because it will call his attention to us, and I'm not supposed to be saying any of this.

"Obviously, Theo and Arel are my partners. I was lucky to have my own brother assigned to me. That usually doesn't happen. But anyway, our first task was to take out another group of Angels from our year. We were each assigned one of the three, and we each had to kill the person we were assigned to. I was assigned to an Angel named Evelyn. She was a sweet girl . . . sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing by killing her. I don't remember who Arel was assigned to. We each had specific instructions to carve out our assingments' hearts and present them to The Na-- to our leader." I paused a moment as Rikku gasped in disgust, then continued.

"Theo was assigned to kill the leader of the group, as he was the leader of ours. The leader was, obviously, Kari." I stopped, trying to gather my thoughts. "I don't know much about what happened when Theo confronted him, only what I was told afterwards. Apparently Theo cracked under the pressure. He couldn't take the idea of killing his best friend, so he tried to tell him what was happening. Our ruler wouldn't stand for that, so he took over Theo's mind and made him kill Kari." I stopped, wondering what else I should say. Should I tell them about how Arel and I overheard our leader crying every night after that? I decided that, while that was unnecessary, there was something else about the Angel they should know.

"I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but did you notice those bandages Theo had his hands wrapped in this morning?"

My three listeners nodded, almost in unison.

I continued, "They're there for a reason. You see, the night after he killed Kari, he saw his friend's blood splattered all over his hands. It didn't go away, either, no matter how raw he scrubbed his hands. I remember stumbling in on him while he was trying to get it off. The water he was washing his hands in was red, yes, and, yes, it was mixed with blood, but what Theo didn't know was that it wasn't Kari's blood in the water. It was his. He'd been scrubbing them so hard, and for so long, that his hands actually started to bleed from the friction." This summoned another horrified gasp, except this time it was from Yuna. "I grabbed his hands to try and stop him . . . but his eyes . . . if I ever forget the way they looked that night, it'll be a blessing from Dagda, that's for sure. I don't think I've ever been scared of him in all the years I've known him except that night. He was looking at me, but it was like he didn't see me, like he was looking through me. He just kept whispering 'I have to get it off,' over and over. I called Arel in, and together we managed to cast a sleep spell powerful enough to actually work on him. We bandaged his hands for him and carried him to bed. When he woke up, he took off the bandages and still saw the bloodstains. He washed his hands again, not as hard as he had the night before, but the stains still didn't come off. He just put the bandages back on and didn't say anything about it. He did that every morning for months until he finally realized that blood wouldn't come off, because they weren't really there. It was almost a year after his first task was completed that he accepted the fact that part of him wasn't exactly right, that, you know, part of his mind had gone crazy enough to make him see things that weren't there. Now, he only sees the bloodstains when he misses Kari or feels guilty about what he did to him."

There. Now they knew everything they needed to. I looked around at me audience as they digested this story. Maybe I should have given them a more condensed version. It was a lot to take in in one sitting.

"Any questions?" I asked weakly, trying to break the uncomfortable silence that always followed the stories I told.

The Spirans all shook their heads.

"Poor Theo . . ." Yuna murmured, more to herself than anyone else, but Rikku nodded in response.

"Yeah," the blonde agreed. "I had no idea . . . he seems so happy all the time . . ."

"I don't think it bothers him as much anymore," I explained, "so that's why he can act so happy so much. I mean, it was five years ago, after all."

Myena.

Upon receiving my brother's thought, I jumped like a scared rabbit, even let out a little yelp, which called everyone's attention to me. Make it quick, I responded simply, knowing that my response was received more faintly than usual, due to the blinding pain growing in my head.

Are you okay? My twin's mental voice flooded me with his concern, making me smile a little.

Migraine. I wasn't strong enough to Send long sentences. Dagda knew I'd pass out if I tried.

I see. Well, Theo and I are on our way back.

Tell him I'm sorry? I'd realized in retelling the story that, though I didn't mourn the dead, I knew Theo did, and it was foolish of me to have forgotten this.

Tell him yourself. We'll be there in a minute.

I nodded before realizing he couldn't see me. Okay.

There was nothing else to do here. I stood slowly, but instantly regretted it as a wave of nausea passed over me. I steadied myself on the railing with one hand, placing the other over my stomach and willing it to calm itself. I shouldn't have used energy on healing myself, because now I felt a little tipsy, like I'd had a little too much to drink, but I wouldn't let myself puke all over Yuna's carpet.

I turned to the brunette. "Theo and Arel are on their way back. I, personally, have a migraine. Got anywhere I could lay down for a little while?"

She nodded and stood to show me into her own room. It was nice enough, though I'd expected it to be like the cluttered, messy room with posters on the walls and drawings and such tacked up everywhere I'd wanted when I was her age. Yuna's room was painted a pretty, pale sea green color, and the only thing on the floor was the carpet that matched the walls. Her bed was wooden, with designs carved into the headboards and footboards, and made very sloppily. A writing desk, also wooden, was the only cluttered thing in the room, with papers, pens, books, and a comsphere all strewn haphazardly over its surface. On the wall across from that was an armoire, again made out of wood, sharing the same carved design as the bed. On the wall next to that, a few feet away from the bed, was a couch that seemed to have been thrown in there for the hell of it, its gaudy print of huge red flowers clashing with the other furniture in the room.

Yuna touched my shoulder, as if questioning why I hadn't taken a step past the door. Blushing a little, I walked slowly across the room to perch awkwardly on the edge of the other girl's bed. She pulled over a chair from her writing desk next to the bed and, after sitting down, allowed her fingers to gently hover on my forehead, barely touching my skin.

By that time in my life I'd been around magic enough to know when someone is going to cast a spell, and I could tell that Yuna was about to heal me. The air around us had shifted slightly, began pressing gently against us. Then something I never expected to witness here in Spira happened.

Yuna started glowing.

Slowly at first, starting at her feet, then the light quickly climbed her legs and torso, until her entire body seemed to be shining. I had to close my eyes tightly against the light the girl was emitting.

A familiar cooling sensation filled me as I absorbed the girl's spell. A feeling of lightheaded tiredness came over me, giving me the almost undeniable urge to sleep. It was all I could do to stay awake until my partners returned. When they did, I'd ask them to transfer some of their energy into me. I knew Theo, at least, would agree to, what with how guilty he apparently felt. My brother, however, was a different story. He always warned me about receiving emotions in Sendings. He'd probably consider this reaping what I sow. Arel always used that term. I wonder if he even knew what it meant. He knew the literal meaning: Our family, like many in our village in the Summerlands, were farmers, so he'd obviously know what reaping and sowing meant, but I could never tell whether or not he understood the expression. He used to do that a lot when we were younger, using words or expressions whose meanings he didn't even know, then finding out his usage was completely wrong. My twin was such a cute little kid.

This was my last thought before aforementioned brother peeked his head in. He Sent something to Yuna, I assume, because she nodded and pulled her hand away. Mumbling something about helping Rikku with a task she probably made up right then, she bowed herself out of the room.

Arel took her seat next to my bed with a light sigh. "I suppose you're about to ask me for energy?" He held out his hand to me.

I muttered, "Only if you're quiet. Yuna managed to cure some of my migraine, but you know how these things are. Sound hurts." Even my own voice was hurting my ears.

He nodded, smiling a little as I took his hand.

The flow started immediately. I stifled a light gasp at how strong his energy was. He'd been strong ever since I can remember, but this was just amazing. It felt like he was pushing all his energy to me, allowing to take as much as I need. I manage to contain the urge to drain him completely.

And the urge was great. It always was. Whenever anyone presented me with the full force of their energy, it was all I could do not to greedily take it, every last drop, leaving behind no more than an empty shell and the mind inside it. The call was there, always, urging, enticing, seducing me in its sweetness. I could barely keep my wits about my as I absorbed the Arel's power through our touching hands. The craving made me wild, made me an animal, made me want to suck out all his life and leave him a shell, empty but for its sleeping mind. Even if I did, he wouldn't die. I had done it to him before, back when I was younger and less experienced in denying the call. He slept for weeks, though, in a nearly comatose state, until he had regained his former energy.

Suddenly my flight of ecstasy ended. I opened my eyes in confusion, and saw that Arel had pulled his hand from mine. Looking slightly guarded, he murmured, "You were getting close, Myena. Watch yourself."

I sat up, wondering when I had lay down and crossing my arms lightly over my chest. My eyes were also guarded, slightly offended at the fact that he thought I didn't know my limits. "I'm neither stupid nor inexperienced anymore. I can control myself, you know."

"I do know you, Myena. You can control yourself, just not well." A mischievous light sparked in his eyes, but I denied him the fight he was looking for. I was jumpy now from the large amount of energy I contained. In reconciliation, I placed my hand on my twin's shoulder, pressing some of the excess of what I'd received back into him. I think he appreciated the gesture. He knew how hard it was for me to give up the rush he had given me. If you've ever drunk about fifteen cups of coffee in rapid succession and followed them up with a couple ounces of pure sugar, you'll know how it feels to hold so much of another person's life force.

I stood up, hopping gingerly from foot to foot, still a little hyper. Okay. It was time for me to calm down, I decided. I took deep breaths, counting in my head to seven each time. Inhaling for seven, holding for seven, exhaling for seven. Inhaling, holding, exhaling. Inhaling, holding, exhaling. This half-meditation calmed my mind enough for my to think, though I still had a small caffeine-like high rushing through my veins.

I opened my eyes, eyes that I knew now looked cool, calm, and composed, though I still kept most of my caffeine-like rush. "It's now or never. Let's get this bitch out of our lives and go home."

*-.-*

Oh my God. First of all, I'm so, so, so very sorry for the wait. And while we're apologizing, I'm sorry this chapter a) sucks so hard and b) doesn't even include the exorcism. But it's eighteen pages in size eleven font and almost 10,000 words (man no kotoba!), so I thought it was long enough as-is. Next chapter will definitely include the exorcism, so don't worry. And yes, despite everything I say, you all know cutting this chapter short is just an excuse to keep DOE from ending so soon.

Yes, my lovelies, Dreams of Eternity is slowly coming to a close. After this chapter, there are two left. One of which, as you know, is the exorcism, and the last one, well... you'll see. Muaha. Torture. But not.

I again apologize for the insane, insane length of time between updates and for all the broken promises, though most of them were to myself. Get it out before Kosaikon, get it out before Otakon, before BAAF, before Christmas, before the New Year, before Katsu... This chapter has been chafing my ass for far too long, so here it is. Hee. Chafing my ass. I don't even know what that expression means.

A lot's happened in eleven months. I got a boyfriend who has been and hopefully always will be a ray of light in my constantly darkening outlook on life, and though I know he's never going to be reading this (or at least not any time soon), I feel like I should mention him, because he's one of the main reasons it took me so long to get this out. Fie on you, Fin-fin, you distracter of the kitty! Also, I started high school, which took up a huge chunk of my time, considering the mass amount of homework my teachers feel obliged to give freshmen so they're stuck inside for hours at a time instead of shooting up and having wild, unprotected sex in the back of their parents' car. Or something. So yeah. Speaking of high school, I started seriously studying Japanese history and language. Related to that, but more recently, I had to stay off the computer for two weeks straight so I could entertain our two Japanese home-stay students. A week before that, I was in Florida, and between that start of the school year and now, I've been busy almost every weekend.

So yeah. There's the end of my excuse list. At this point in time, I believe thanks are in order. In no particular order, first, I want to thank my Fin-fin, of whom I spoke earlier. Even though he had no idea what I was talking about all those times I ranted to him about this or one of my other writing endeavors, he always listened and gave me the best advice he could. He's probably the only thing that makes me happy, and one of my wonderful muses and I have no idea what I would do without him. Second is Shad. She is, beyond any and all doubt, my best and most helpful muse. She's helped me so much with absolutely everything I do, especially writing, and has given me more tricks of the trade than I can even think of. Hugs and smiles to her, and everyone who doesn't already know her go look her up right now as Th' Lady Shadow and read her stuff. She's a goddess of the written word. Third, I just have to thank Merry. She's also one of my best muses, and also my art/fluff slave, though she rarely admits to the latter. She's such a groovy cat and my oldest and best friend. She also gets hugs and smiles, especially for all the beta-ing she's done on this chapter, not to mention on DOE as a whole. Last but definitely not least is Anthony. He's probably the only reason this chapter is finished, because of his constant but completely necessary nagging. Go read Reluctant Visitor now!

Also big shiny hearts and boxes of Valentine's candy that are on sale now at your local drug store to all my readers who've stuck with me for so long. I wouldn't be here if not for you guys. I love you all so much. Seriously. You guys rock.

Don't worry. I'll shut up soon. But could those of you who've read this far please-please-please go read my new one-shot The Quiet Things? I'd post the link, but last time I posted a link in a fic it just showed up as a blank space. So, it and its summary can be accessed through my profile. I'll love those of you who do read it forever...! Really...!

And wow. No that I've written an eight hundred-word author's note, I'll leave you in peace.

Again, I'm sorry for the wait!

Signing off,

~E.N.