A/N Thank you to sweetie-pie-Ginny for her praise, while the other reviewer, Zeke can go to hell. I do not own Harry Potter but I can do what I want with it, that's the whole point of this website. Loser.
When the twelve students walked in, they each gaped in awe. The main common room had a giant fireplace and 4 leather lounges spread out surrounding it. A few metres back were five 4-seater study tables. On each side of the room was a spiral staircase, each leading to the boys and the girl's dorms.
After about half an hour of gaping, the boys started making their way u the stairs to their rooms. As Harry opened his door he was dumbfounded. He discovered that each room had a theme, and his (lucky for him) was the 1970s. The walls of his room were covered with posters of The Rolling Stones, The Clash, The Sex Pistols, The Clash etc, with not a speck of wall to see, it was all posters and on his bed was a peace sign blanket with his luggage. On the rest of his furniture were ornaments, collectables etc. Under his ying and yang rug he found an empty trapdoor. He unzipped his toiletries bag and took out about 10kg of drugs consisting cannabis, heroin, crack, ecstasy, a few boxes of cigarettes, a few beers, a bottle of bourbon, a packet of condoms and a few Playboy magazines. "I love being Dumbledore's pet," he said to himself as he closed the door and replaced the mat.
Meanwhile, Ron walked into his room finding the whole room either pink or red. The bed was heart-shaped and the walls were red made from sponge (like the walls in mental institutions) and the carpet was long, soft and pink. He couldn't help but notice the amount of white bunny's he saw everywhere.
"Heya- whoa!" said Harry walking past.
"What?" said Ron.
"You lucky bastard, you've got a Playboy themed room!" said Harry enviously.
"So?"
"It's a muggle thing. It's basically a porn industry, also a fashion name," explained Harry.
"So, I'm in a sex haven?" asked Ron.
"Well, yeah," said Harry looking at his toes.
"Oh HELL YEAH!" said Ron.
"Would you shut up, Weasel!" yelled Malfoy from his room.
"Why, what's your theme?" said Ron smugly.
"Mexico, there happens to be heaps of posters of Mexican models in my room and about 10 bottles of Tequila." Malfoy replied smirking.
"Oh, so you spent your summer in the muggle world, Malfoy?" asked Harry.
"Well yes," said Malfoy, "I know, it's very unlike me, but I went to America and I happen to find your muggle girls very, very easy."
"America, eh?" asked Ron, "So you'd have heard of the Playboy Mansion?"
"Why yes, are you dreaming of something that'll never happen, Weasel?"
"No, I wouldn't be too sure about that, Ferret, just take a look at my room."
"What the- oh, so you think you're so good, Weasel? I think that theme has gone to waste, you won't be having anyone in there," said Malfoy.
"Oh and did I mention that my parents won 52 million galleons in the wizard lottery at the beginning of summer?" said Ron smugly. (and it was in fact true. Where do you think they got the money for their summer holiday?)
"Yeah sure, I'd love to stay and talk with you but, well I don't want to," and at that Malfoy turned on his heel back to his own room.
Meanwhile, the girls decided to make their way to their rooms. Once Hermione got to her room she was somewhat satisfied. There was a magenta feature wall with 3 white walls. She had a white four-poster bed with pink sheets and blankets. Her furniture was fairly modern. She got her bag and lay out on her desk a hair straightener, an electric hair plucker, a mobile phone, a pager and an electric toothbrush. She had done her research and managed to work out how to make electronics work with magic.
She walked in her private bathroom and opened her eyes with bewilderment. Her bath was the size of a pool, with a diving board, a shower with shower heads going down the sides and one at the top, there was a Jacuzzi, a Japanese toilet and a porcelain basin with a combination of Christian Dior and Lancôme products in her cabinet. This was every girls dream bathroom. The bathroom design was the same for every other student in both dorms.
"I hate the mother fucking Arsenal fuckers!" shrieked Pansy from her room.
"What is it, Panse?" asked Malfoy worriedly as he was running towards her room.
"Oh fuck off Draco, I am not getting back with you!" she yelled.
"I told you I am sorry," he pleaded but discreetly so as not to tarnish his 'playboy' reputation.
"Draco, or Malfoy as I'd rather call you, you called me desperate ugly pug just weeks before summer break and now you expect me to forgive you just because everyone else loves you? Why don't you go fuck yourself!"
"Hi Malfoy," said Hermione. She wanted to catch him while he was dignity stricken. "How was your summer?"
"Whoa..." he said looking her up and down, noticing her change in figure and hair.
"Seeing something you like Malfoy?" she said smugly.
"What?-No you stupid whore!" he said timidly and walked rather quickly.
She knew she had developed in figure and attractiveness; she was going to use it to her advantage to get revenge on her most hated enemy.
To the bad luck of the Golden Trio, their first class was double potions with Snape, but this time, they were going to make it fun. The only Slytherins in their potions class were Blaise and Malfoy, while the majority were Gryffindors.
As Snape walked in he stood at his desk and began his 'Welcome Back' speech.
"….Now I trust you all know the rules for each class, no running, no horseplay," he paused to sit down but a loud farting sound echoed the room as he took his seat. The class erupted with laughter. He quickly stood up and pulled a whoopee cushion out from his seat and looked at it with disgust.
"Who the fuck did this!" he yelled. The class remained silent except for the sniggering of the Golden Trio.
"Oh, you think its funny Mr Potter and Weasley, and you Miss Granger? Detention, this Saturday night."
They didn't care, it was worth a detention.
"That was great thinking, Hermione," Ron complimented. They were both sitting on Harry's bed while he was looking for his wand. As he was rushing around, he managed to accidentally move his mat, but he was too caught up to notice. Ron noticed the trapdoor and decided to open it.
"Oh God, Ron-what the hell is all this?"
"I wouldn't know, it's all muggle stuff."
"Damn right! How many drugs has he got in here?"
"He must be very sick," said Ron, clueless to what it all was, "Oh look, Playboy!"
Hermione blinked at him and continued going through all the drugs.
"What the hell are you doing!" yelled Harry.
Hermione jumped and faced him, he was boiling mad.
"What are condoms?" asked Ron.
"All you had to do was ask," he said and Hermione heaved a sigh of relief. Harry got out a few straws and his bag of heroin.
Hermione open her eyes the widest they had ever been, while Ron raised his eyebrow and screwed up his face in confusion. Harry passed Ron and Hermione a straw and sniffed the contents of what was now laid out on the table. Ron looked at Hermione and shrugged and decided to follow Harry's lead.
Hermione shrugged after a while and joined her friends in their session.
After about an hour, they started to get really high. Hermione dashed out to room with her frilly scarf and her beat box and made the boys follow her to the common room. It was about 9pm and the rest of the dorm were showering or retiring to their rooms, but not the Golden Trio.
Hermione turned her beat box to full blast playing Black Tongue by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs and started singing into her brush on the table. Ron and Harry joined
Hot
Ahh
You can keep your black tongue
Well I found at the mortuary
You know their gonna want some want some
Were high in the bathroom, gonna have a pack soon
with this you will regret
just let it be yeah yeah yeah
Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh ow!
Sonny kept his ring on
Red tape so ordinary
Love that thing like you was gone gone gone
Lets do this like a prison break
I wanna see you squeal and shake
Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh ow!
Boy you're just a stupid bitch,
and girl you're just a no good dick
Hot
Ahh
Were gonna keep it in the family
Yeah well you know well were on the run
You know their gonna want some want some
Were high in the bathroom, gonna have a pack soon
With this you will regret
just let it be yeah yeah yeah
Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh ow!
They continued singing but managed to wake up the rest of the dorm. Blaise and Malfoy ran out in just their boxers to see what the hell was going on. Cho and Pansy ran out with wet nails and silk dressing gowns. The rest were on sleeping pills. Immediately, when Hermione saw Blaise, the heroin had caused her to jump on to him and start making out. They fell on the couch and continued making out.
Malfoy, stunned, looked at the couple on the couch and then at the bag almost empty and realised what had taken over his enemies. He was in the mood for fun and decided to try some while encouraging Pansy and Cho to join in. They were both reluctant but eventually got hooked on the stuff.
The three of them managed to finish the rest of the bag, but it took out most of its affect on Cho.
Suddenly, a new song came onto the beat box. Malfoy found it vaguely familiar until he remembered it was the song he was listening to while he was having sex with an American cheerleader. "Jet," he slurred and he noticed something hard in between his legs which caught the attention of Cho.
So 1,2,3, take my hand and come with me
because you look so fine
and i really wanna make you mine.
I said you look so fine
and I really wanna make you mine.
Oh, 4,5,6 c'mon and get your kicks
now you dont need that money
when you look like that, do ya honey.
Big black boots,
long brown hair,
she's so sweet
with her get back stare.
Well I could see,
you home with me,
but you were with another man, yea!
I know we,
ain't got much to say,
before I let you get away, yea!
I said, are you gonna be my girl?
Well, so 1,2,3, take my hand and come with me
because you look so fine
and i really wanna make you mine.
I said you look so fine
and I really wanna make you mine.
Oh, 4,5,6 c'mon and get your kicks
now you dont need that money
with a face like that, do ya.
Big black boots,
long brown hair,
she's so sweet
with her get back stare.
Well I could see,
you home with me,
But you were with another man, yea!
I know we,
ain't got much to say,
before I let you get away, yea!
I said, are you gonna be my girl?
Oh yea. Oh yea. C'mon!
I could see,
you home with me,
but you were with another man, yea!
I know we,
ain't got much to say,
before I let you get away, yea!
Uh, be my girl.
Be my girl.
Are you gonna be my girl!
Yea.
Only when the song ended Malfoy was so numb he just realised Cho's mouth was in between hi legs.
They suddenly disappeared into the night.
Pansy meanwhile, decided to join Harry and Ron on the table.
"Dude, I am sooo stoned!" yelled Ron over the top of Fucken Awesome by Spiderbait.
"You're high, dumbass!" Harry screamed.
The whole night was a blur to everyone, until morning hit.
A/N Sorry for the cliffy, but I'm so tired now. I'd like to thank Jet, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Spiderbait for adding affect and I will post a new chapter this weekend.