Disclaimer: Don't own YYH.

Chapter 18: Koenma Attacks

How can it all be true? How can this be? How can everything I've ever known be such a big lie?

I really don't want to believe them. I hate being caught off guard. That was why stealing was such a passion for me. I was never off guard. I kept everyone else off guard, but I never did it myself. Now, I don't know what to think. Part of me is still skeptical, but it's all but vanished. Somehow, I know this is why they're doing this. They need me to steal this mysterious item. And they won't let me out of here until I do.

It's so strange and alien—so true. How can it be true?

It just all fits. I can't explain it.

This all makes sense. But really, the only real evidence I have (and need) are the circles labeling me a Farnsuga—an angel, when a demon touches me. But I know. Now I know that I am being held captive by demons and humans—working side by side. When did such an unlikely alliance occur? If the demons want the living for their reincarnation and inevitable escape from the demon world, why on earth don't Yukina and Hiei kill everyone living here and get a true human body? Moreover, how did they escape from the demon world if they don't have a living body?

There's definitely more to this than I can comprehend. If it is even true.

No. Forget it. Like they said, this is just denial. My anger was when Yukina and I fought over why humans like food. This is finally the semi-acceptance part. I can't keep denying this. There's no way that it can be false. It all fits.

I think the main hurdle now is actually convincing myself that I want to believe it. I don't. Definitely. But it would be kind of cool, if it were true. I'm supposed to steal from the new self-appointed leader of demon world and get out with the item alive. Wouldn't that be amazing if I could? Stealing from demons…now that is a klepto's dream come true. If I came back out alive, if I could say that I beat God with my skills…oh. Now that it just too delicious to comprehend. All that joy…

But at the same time, it will definitely be very dangerous. It doesn't matter if I have Shakra power. As long as they don't actually touch me with a tentacle or a weapon, demons can still attack me indirectly. If they ever find that out, I'll be toast. Unless I can heal myself with the light pillar again.

God, I'm getting a migraine. I can't believe it. I can do all of this stuff. Why did I never notice it?

I guess I never really had the reason to go all Shakra-ish. No demon that I know off ever attacked me, thank God, and if they did, they probably didn't live to tell the tale.

What exactly is Shakra, though? Some kind of positive force, I think they said. That's why I am marked "angel" whenever a demon touches me.

But I'm not an angel! Why was I given an angelic gift is all I do is break God's ten commandments?

1. Do Not Kill: Hah. I just killed my own parent. That still bothers me.

2. Do Not Steal: (laughs) I crack myself up.

3. Respect Your Mother And Father: I don't know what the hell happened to my mother, but I can't necessarily respect her if I don't know where she is, and Daddy got his head cracked open by me. Again, another shot commandment.

4. Do Not Lie: I've been lying by not turning myself in to the cops. My God, I really am going to hell.

5. Do Not Covet Your Neighbor's Ass/Wife: Who the hell wrote that? He must not have been all seeing because we all sure get a kick out of it present-day. I can safely say I was never jealous of my neighbor's donkey or their butt, neither so was I jealous of their wife (hopefully) but I do want their riches and I take them. Double violation. Haha, if you change around the syllables of Ass/Wife, you get asswipe. Do not envy others asswipes. Heh. God, I really do have a sick mind after all. Are all kleptos like this?

There are others that I've undoubtedly violated as well. I only remember the obvious and/or funny ones. I sigh. Am I going to go to demon land because of how bad I've been when I die?

Because the world truly does hate me with a flaming passion. Imagine. The Japanese Jesus tried to kill me. The Bible has been killed by all accounts. Jesus is not allowed to turn evil! For one thing, he resisted the evil temptation demon and got hanged for it. Or was it crossed? I don't know anymore, because it's been so long since I gave religion any thought. But anyway, the thing was that he revisited evil.

I gasp. I have it.

"YUKINA!" I yell.

Wow. This time she was very fast. It's like she teleported. She dangerously rattles the plate that has another ham sandwich. Goodie. "What?" She asks. "You can't be that hungry."

"I just realized why Koenma turned evil."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, Koenma, hereby referred to as Jesus, died for our sins. It figures, you know, God kills his own kid because he's pissed at the bad people. But anyway, after we killed Christ, he got pissed off at both his dad and us for doing that, so he finally rebelled. That is why he fights his father day by day. It's vengeance."

Yukina blinks slowly. After a moment's pause, "No."

"Why not?"

"Koenma didn't die for your stupid sins! He was never living! And he never wanted vengeance either! There was nothing to get vengeance for, unless you count a whole board of morons most unfortunately named the Unbiased Spirit Jury, and then, he could have just kicked them off the squad. Who is Christ?"

I gasp. "That's right. I guess Japanese are not primarily Christian. So, what are you?"

Yukina gives me another weird look. "What religion? I'm not sure. I am generally very open-minded to them all."

"Really?"

"I assure you of that. Enma is just the leader of the spirit world. He encompasses all religions, I suppose. He always found it strange that you humans all thought him about 300 separate beings. All religion is basically one and the same, except, they may be polytheistic or monotheistic, many gods or one god. I can't really answer that, whether he is the only and religions like that of the ancient Greek are false. Enma is just the king. There are probably separate cavities for other gods in his department—"

"Gods have departments?"

"Of course! How do you think they manage the living realm? Oh, there's lots of things for us to do. Like formally declare war and sue each other. So yes, I can imagine that some of the leaders of the compartments can be considered Gods and Goddesses. It just depends on whether or not they are formally recognized by the religion."

"What about Atheists?"

"Why on earth are you asking me these questions? How should I know? Kara, I'm not even a spirit."

"Are Atheists false?" I ask again.

Yukina sighs heavily. "No, not necessarily. Of course there has to be something that manages the living realm. All humans know that. They just see Enma as another Heaven official, not a king, and so they say that there are no true Gods or Goddesses, just many managers."

"So, if they trust science rather than religion, that still means they are the same as all others?"

"All other what?"

"Religions."

"Technically. They just look at things a bit differently—"

"So, Enma as a king may or may not exist?"

"D-depending on the religion…"

"So, Enma himself may not exist?"

"Wha—NO! Of course he exists! He's the almighty power!"

"But atheists say he doesn't exist as an almighty power, just as an official!"

"He is an official! The very highest in rank!"

"So that makes him king?"

"Technically!"

"But atheists don't believe in a king. So, he can't be the highest official and a king at the same time. Enma is a false king. We'd better work on dethroning him."

"No! He is a king!"

"Tell that to an Atheist."

"But Atheists are wrong, then! Enma is a true king!"

I smile sweetly at her, and she realizes what she just said. So much for open-minded Yukina! I was wondering how hard she'd be to crack. Now I know. They are all prone to cracking. I made Hiei crack with telling him he was bisexual. I made Kuwabara crack telling him he was an ape. Yukina's weakness is what exactly Enma is. Hahaha. I wonder what Kurama's weakness is?

Yukina suddenly laughs. "I remember my brother telling me about you and that uncanny ability."

"Wha-what?" I'm ruined already!

"That thing you just pulled on me. Prove something that is completely opposite of what I mean. You really are a natural. Why do you do that?"

I sigh. There's no use pretending. "It's fun to crack people. I dunno. I've always loved to do it. And I usually was able to. I started because once I tried to stiff a waiter on the tip. He caught me and showed me a sign: Tips Are Essential To Our Waiter's Well-Being. Or something like that, anyway. And this short little man was all pissed off over it, so I turned around the sign completely and in the end, he couldn't stop me. I think I caused him permanent brain damage, and I didn't have to pay." I laugh. "And then there was the one when the scumbag mistook me for a prostitute and started coming on full throttle and I made him run away with my words chasing after him. It was really funny. I think that was the one died two days later when he stepped into traffic. His gang buddies said that all he talked about was the 'mean whore'. Really. People who join gangs are weird. They rat on you. And—why are you looking at me like that?"

Yukina is gazing at me with one of those weird relieved expressions like she did when I said I wanted to hear their side of the story. I realize now that she was just happy that I was ready to accept them. What is this happy face for?

"Oh…nothing." She says, but the relief doesn't die from her face. "I'm just so happy."

"Why? I didn't get raped that night?"

"Yes. Well, no. It's you. Because Koenma—"

There is a loud snap like a gunshot. It came from my right. I snap my head in that direction. I see nothing. It must have been beyond this room.

Another snap. I actually jump, and so does she. And then, a scream of a bad machine erupts unceasingly. We wait several seconds, and the sound only intensifies. I put my hands over my ears, but the sound is not blocked.

"What is that?" Asks Yukina in her now-considerably-squeakier voice. "I've never heard anything like that…"

"Did something break?" I ask, now worried myself at her expression. "Like, it wouldn't be a support beam, right?"

At this, her eyes widen in panic. "The oxygen." She whispers. "No…Yusuke…"

She jumps up from her chair. "Stay here." She commands. "If you get any voices in your head…no, never mind. You're coming with me. I'll protect you."

"Yukina? From what?" I ask.

"Hush." She puts down the plate with the uneaten ham sandwich and grabs a key from the inside of her baggy sleeve. She leans down for my waist iron, fumbling in her panic. Finally, she undoes that, and now only anchored by my feet, I have to grab the edges of my table to stop from falling forward. She does the right leg. I fall to the right and tenderly put my foot on the ground. She does the left leg. I drop completely, tripping and almost falling over. She catches me in time.

I stand up shakily, and find that almost instantly I can't walk. I've been so immobile for so long…

I barely have time to get used to being upright without the help of metal when she grabs my left hand and starts dragging me through the door. With her other hand she holds her kimono so she won't trip. On our way out, I grab the ham sandwich.

I look around. The halls are very white and completely square. About twelve-by-twelve feet floor and wall.

"Bite?" I ask, shoving the sandwich in her face.

"No!" She says. "Kara, this is more serious than anything…"

"Fine. More for me." I say, stuffing half of it in my face.

"Be serious!" She yells, and I stop being a pain just out of surprise. No one ever yells at me. They just don't.

I finish my sandwich.

"Rar are we gowig aah why?" I ask, my mouth still stuffed with sandwich.

"To stop that horrible popping." She says. "That was the oxygen. For Yusuke. I guess you know he was unconscious?"

I swallow hastily. "Uh, no! No one bothers to fill in the hostage!"

"Kuwabara said he told you, that runt! Ugh." My god. She's really scared and that's making her mad. "You know how Yusuke had lots of casts?"

"Yeah. Hard to miss." We fly down the hall ever faster.

"Well, Koenma was attacking him with the same pain that he attacked you with in the tunnel."

"Then why can't I be completely incapacitated too?" I ask, putting on a fake pout behind her.

"The anti-demon healing light. You healed most of yourself. There wasn't much left for me to do. Now, Yusuke cannot heal himself, and there is only so much that can be done for a human with demon power. So, he just keeps getting weaker and weaker. Koenma and his legion of demons are so much stronger than Kurama or I. We are the only healers around here." As we're moving, the sound is increasing. It's sort of like standing next to a screaming fire alarm for an hour. It does things to you.

"If he keeps getting attacked, why aren't I?"

"He keeps going outside because he thinks he can handle the pain. He's so stupid. Anyway, we built this fortress a while back so Koenma can't get in. Recently, though, Yusuke took a major fall from the pain because Koenma super-centered it in his heart when he went outside again. He went comatose as a result. Until he wakes up, he needs a special oxygen tank to live. And that's what popped. I could tell. But Koenma found him and the rest of us with that stupid action. He's going to kill him now that he knows where he is. And I think we just found his action."

"Why didn't Koenma just attack Yusuke directly and finish it? I mean, the oxygen tank?"

"He can't. We have a special guard on Yusuke. But not on the oxygen tank."

"But he's your leader! By all means, leave the thing keeping him alive prone to attack!"

"So you can imagine what would happen if he dies." She says grimly. "Almost there…"

We take a sharp right and come across a very tall brown door that is slightly ajar. She flings it open with all her might, and she runs in, still dragging me by hand. The screaming of the machine climbs two notches in volume. I'm getting a headache.

"Damn it!" She says, as no one else is here yet. It's so loud that I can barely hear her, but I can still that she really is panicked. She runs to the sleeping dark-haired boy in a low, simple, white-sheeted cot, finally letting go of my hand. She kneels and instantly places her pale hands on his green-shirted chest and almost immediately lights them with that same blue fire that I can now admit to be icy demon power. The air gets cold again, but not like before. She isn't attacking now. She's healing. And it's a much nicer kind of cold. The blue slowly spreads to the rest of his body. I can see her wincing because of the noise.

The boy stirs slightly. It's definitely Yusuke—vegetable form. I walk closer to him. He's sweating badly, and there are veins sticking out on his head and neck. There is an air mask over his mouth and nose, but I can see no cloud of just oxygen in it. The stuff in it is off-white. He has no air. And the machine seems to be under his bed. It's making the earsplitting racket that I heard earlier. A machine malfunction.

"Remove that mask on him!" I say loudly. "He should still be able to breathe better than he is now!"

"We can't!" She yells. "It's stuck there so we can be sure it doesn't come off!"

"WHAT KIND OF THING IS THAT TO DO?"

"THE FUCKING MACHINE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO MALFUNCTION! WE DIDN'T COUNT ON KOENMA FINDING US!"

"That's what happened? He made it break down?"

"YES! Damn it…damn it…" her power increases, and it gets colder. But…Yusuke's condition isn't changing.

I hear huge thuds on the door and shouting from the other side.

"Kara, run out to the window and tell them they aren't to come in. If we keep the door shut, there'll be less chance of another attack." She sounds considerably calmer.

I run up to this tiny round window and scream it at the top of my lungs. From the lone window, they nod and keep staring in. It's Kuwabara, Shizuru, Hiei, Kurama, and lastly Keiko, who looks especially tearful. What is it with that girl and Yusuke?

I run back down. Yukina is doing nothing to help despite her valiant efforts. She's only straining herself. Yusuke keeps worsening.

I bend down and scurry under the bed, lying completely flat facedown. My ears are dying as I get closer, but what choice do I have? I weasel past Yukina's kneeling body and get closer to the machine. It looks exactly like human technology: a transparent tank of what appears to be nothing sitting on a metal base. The large tube runs from it to Yusuke's mouth.

So where is the leak? Defying what my stricken ears are telling me, I feel all around the tank. It feels completely solid to me. No cracks, no crevices, no nothing. How exactly did Koenma make the oxygen disappear?

I can't find anything. Instead, I feel the cord. It seems to be fine as well. I feel all the way up. I get out from under the cot and don't release my hold on it. I finally stand back up, (major relief on my ears), and follow the cord with my fingers again. Finally, moving around Yukina, I finally meet Yusuke's mask. Nothing on the actual cord…what about the mask itself?

I cup my hands over the mask, and let my nerves explore it. It seems fine.

I sigh. Back to square one.

I drop back down underneath. There must be something I missed!

I feel all over the tank again, employing all thief skills. Nothing. Did I really think something would just appear?

Unless…

Maybe he didn't break it.

Maybe he just substituted the gas inside…

Of course! Yusuke is breathing poison!

In a panic, I violently try to claw the poison out of the machine, stabbing it again and again with my fingers. Nothing. The tank is made of rock.

I try the cord again, dragging myself back out and trying to tear the cord apart. If I can stop the gas from coming through, then I can stop his death.

Nothing. Also made of rock.

"HE'S BREATHING POISON!" I yell at Yukina. She turns to me, shocked. "KILL THE MACHINE COMPLETELY!"

She looks at me, and then nods, bending down under the cot. She doesn't even flinch when she gets near the machine. I continue to scrap the cord. Nothing.

Last chance. I go to the mask again and start trying to pry it off. Nothing. What can I do to pry it off?

I reach inside my body again. I check viciously to see if anything is on me that can pry this off his face.

All I feel is gray robe. I don't have that lock pick anymore. I try to pull off the mask one more time with my bare hands and nothing happens.

It struck me right then how completely useless I was. All I could do was stare at this poor guy's face in horror. He's turning blue, and many other shades as well. And there's nothing I can do.

Nothing. This is the first time I can't do anything. I saved myself from my dad. I robbed every New Jersey Bank. But I can't save this poor soul from a death by gaseous poison.

This isn't fair. I was never prepared for something of this great magnitude.

Yukina stops playing with the machine down below, climbing out and shrugging harshly. She tries to heal him some more. I'd love to help heal him, but I don't know the first thing about it.

I stare at the dying boy.

Yukina exerts the last of her energy and promptly falls over in a dead faint, her blue hair swirling around her on the floor.

Now officially very scared, I whirl around and open the door so the others can come in. They do. Really, really fast. The Long-Legged Mr. Hair shoots in first, Kuwabara right behind him. Hiei sidles in as though we have all the time in the world. Shizuru and Keiko are the last, because Keiko is sobbing her heart out into Shizuru's shirt.

I want to scream at her to get over it. I am pushed to the very edge of the room. Kuwabara screams something at the dying Yusuke about how he's not allowed to die because they have to fight. Hiei stays off to the side, his stony expression unreadable. Shizuru tries to comfort Keiko.

Kurama yells, "EVERYONE OUT!"

This is such unusual behavior coming from him that everyone complies. Kuwabara scoops up Yukina and they all go out. I wait, though.

"Go!" He says. "You'll catch it on fire again!"

The whip. A memory of that night comes back to me. The lean man with the whip that I caught on fire. The anger at him comes back. "I'm staying."

Kurama glares at me, and grits his teeth, but I don't budge. He sighs and turns around. He digs around in his shaggy mane of hair and pulls out a perfect rose. He says quietly, "Rose Whip."

At once, the thing elongates and turns into a long green whip about six feet. Rose petals fall all around him in a lovely, Barbie aura.

Back to the whip. Thorns branch out from its snaky, green body. This was the spiked whip that nearly broke my leg. I can indeed see the fiery singe at the tip, where touching me destroyed its essential plant-ness.

Kurama raises it back, and does that same tiny flick of his wrist. In a second, the whip vanishes, and the tube from the machine to Yusuke's mouth breaks in half. A foul smelling stench fills the air upon impact. That was indeed poison. The earsplitting screech dies, and all of a sudden, I realize that I'm half-deaf. Pandemonium dies. Kurama withdraws his whip back into that rose and sticks it back in his hair. He motions for the others to come back in.

He did it. That whip really did save us after all.

I stare at Yusuke as Kurama is finally able to yank off the mask on his face. Now perfectly fine, he relaxes a bit, but keeps shaking and sweat horribly.

We did do it. We saved Yusuke.

But were we too late?

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A/N Evil cliffy! HAHAHA! Review!