Chapter Two; Dean's Natural Black Ass

Ginny stared at me from her little wooden chair.

"Are you serious?" she croaked, her eyes wide.

"Um….yes?" I didn't know if it was a rhetorical question or what, so I just answered her with the truth.

"Unbelievable."

She just sat there, shaking her head. I was wondering when she was going to start hugging me and telling me what a great job I'd done, kissing Malfoy. Yes, I know he's my arch enemy forever more, but come on. He's so damn hot. And I had kissed him.

"Well, he is pretty hot, but…You made out with Draco Malfoy!"

I raised my eyebrows. I mean, I know she has trouble in History of Magic and all, but I really thought her attention span lasted longer than that.

"Yes. Just like you said."

At that Ginny's eyes flamed up.

"Like I said? Oh no…no way are you going to pin this on me, Hermione."

I was getting confused. Pin it on her? She had told me to find a boyfriend only the day before, for God's sake! She had practically given me permission to go ahead and kiss Malfoy!

"It's bad enough that you go and kiss that idiot, and tell me that you enjoy it, talk about his "hot abs" and stupid eyes, but now you're trying to blame me?"

I was sinking lower and lower under the hospital blanket. Only my brown eyes peeped over the edge. I glanced around to make sure there were no heavy objects she might have konked me with, possibly knocking me unconscious again.

"Well you can just forget it, missy."

Have I ever told you that I do not like being called missy? No? Well, that M-word really gets on my nerves.

"Hey! Ginny, you're the one who's been ranting at me for the past two years to find a nice, sweet guy to make my boyfriend before someone else does!"

Which was when I stopped short. That sentence was all wrong.

Correction number one. Malfoy is most certainly not a nice, sweet guy. I'm not even sure if he's human.

Correction number two. Malfoy as my boyfriend? That would not be a pretty picture. Mainly for reasons including we hate each other.

Correction number three. About the part that says before someone else does? Yeah, TOO LATE Hermione! I don't think there's one single person who has seeing-abilities who hasn't spotted Malfoy and Pansy having some fun in the library and making eyes at each other at dinner. I have been victim to countless hours of distracted studying in the library because of the giggles and strange noises coming from behind their favorite book case.

So all in all, I didn't have much to defend myself with.

Ginny seemed to know the argument was pointless, anyway, since she just turned around and stomped out of the ward.

Isn't it nice to know best friends always support you no matter what you do?

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When I was lying there, by my pitiful self, I started wondering how I had gotten here. To the hospital wing, I mean. All I could remember was that I had blacked out, and when I opened my eyes again, I was lying in these lovely sheets.

And then I realized. Malfoy must have carried me here, or something. Or he might have left me there on the stone cold floor, and assumed someone else would come and pick me up.

But, you know, we had kissed and everything, so I doubt he had done that. I hope not, anyway.

And how had Ginny heard that I was in the hospital wing? She hadn't heard the story, that I know, because the first she asked me when she saw I was conscious again was "What did you do now?"

But how could she know that I was in the hospital wing but not know what had happened? I couldn't ask her, since she's so mad at me.

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"HA! WELL YOU CAN KISS MY NATURAL BLACK ASS!"

What a wonderful greeting. These were the first words that met my delicate ears the moment I stepped into Gryffindor common room.

My head snapped around, and I saw Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan glaring angrily at each other. I wanted to point out to Dean that the expression he had just yelled was screamed mostly by black girls, but it didn't look like a very good opportunity, due to the fact that he was regarding Seamus in a way that…well, if looks could kill, a certain Mr. Seamus Finnigan wouldn't exist right now. And I didn't want to draw his fuming attention to me. I'd already been in the blinding white of the hospital to last me the next two weeks, thanks. Even with the sheets.

"They aren't the only two arguing," I muttered to myself and made my way over to the two squishy armchairs by the fire.

"Hermione!" Ron was facing me from one of the armchairs.

"Where've you been, Hermione? Ginny was looking for you, and then she asked for the Marauder's Map…" Harry craned his neck around the back of his armchair.

So that's how she found me.

"I was in the hospital wing." My big mouth answered immediately.

"What were you doing there?" Harry frowned.

Oops.

"Uhh…" Crazy excuses involving killer sheep and spoons poking me in the eye raced frantically around my head.

"I ate something funny for dinner last night. I didn't feel too good." I garbled.

Which would never really be true in Hogwarts, since the house elves totally make sure there's nothing weird in the food, so unless you're allergic to something, you wouldn't get sick because of dinner. And that's really nice and all, but the house elves shouldn't even be working here free of charge in the first place. But don't get me started on that.

But it worked, anyway. They both just shrugged and turned back to their homework.

They have so obviously never read Hogwarts: A History.

My heart sank just then. 'Cause I realized that I had last night's homework to catch up to, and that I had missed a whole day's worth of work and the teachers must have given homework for tonight, too. And I doubt McGonagall would believe my dinner story, unlike these two dunces here. Especially since we had a really simple dinner yesterday. I mean, who gets allergic to mashed potato or beef and then eats it?

So I trudged up to my dorm and retrieved my bag. I dragged it down the stairs again, and pulled up a chair at the table where Harry and Ron were sitting. I dumped my books on the table.

"Can I copy from you guys?"

Thud.

Ron had just dropped a particularly boring-looking leather bound book. Harry stared at me.

"Hermione? Maybe you should go back to the hospital wing. I'm not entirely convinced you're cured." He said. Ron was apparently speechless, according to the gaping mouth and bulging eyes.

"Ha. Ha. Please?" I made puppy eyes.

They had no effect whatsoever.

"Are you crazy?"

Probably. Afterall, I made out with Malfoy and I didn't puke.

"Come on you guys…I have so much catching up to do, and I really don't feel like doing homework right now! I'm exhausted and it would be so much easier if I could copy, just this once."

"Exhausted from what? Sneaking Victor into Hogwarts and snogging him in the closet?" Ron seemed to have been revived.

Snogging? You have no idea.

"No." I grabbed their books and parchment. I scanned their work, and knew from general knowledge of the topic that it was all wrong.

"Um…never mind. I think I'll do it myself."

I climbed back up the stairs, my bag trailing behind me. In my dorm again, I tossed it over in the corner and collapsed on my bed. I yawned. Why was I so tired? You'd think passing out and then spending the rest of the day lying down would leave you full of energy. But it seemed my get up and go had got up and gone. I rolled over.

I should have jumped out of bed, grabbed my bag, and started working there and then. I should have at least attempted to do some of the homework I hadn't done the previous day.

But I didn't. My eyes sagged, and I fell asleep. It was going to be a tough day tomorrow.

A/N: This was a bit of pointless chapter, wasn't it? Ah well…please review! I'll try and make it more interesting next time.