A/N: Thanks for all those reviews! They make me so happy. I forgot to credit what Dean was yelling at Seamus. It comes from the movie "Bringing Down the House". Thank you, ocardevoli for reminding me!

Chapter Three; He Knows

I woke up with Lavender in my face. Not that she's a monster or anything, but gossipy airheads are not exactly the kind of people I'd like to talk to first thing in the morning.

I groaned and rolled over – coming face to face with Parvati who was squatting on that side of the bed.

I groaned and rolled over again, thinking there must be some free space, but Lavender grabbed my arm and tried to pull me out of bed.

"Come on, Hermione! You should have been up like, half an hour ago!"

"AH!" Her words hit me in the head like a hammer. Shit, I realized, my stomach disappearing somewhere in the region of my knees. I haven't done any of my homework!

I knew I'd never make it, plus, I was half an hour late…I'd be lucky if I made it to class, let alone do my homework.

What am I going to do? I wrung my hands, jumped around and started breathing so hard it came out as tiny snorts. It's a thing, okay?

Parvati raised an eyebrow at me and Lavender just looked plain weirded.

"Are you okay?" Lavender asked me.

"Yeah, you are freaking me out, Hermione. Stop it."

I stopped. Took a deep breath. Thought about what I was going to do. Didn't know what I was going to do. Started freaking out again. Hey, I'm no good in any crisis.

"You guys have to help me!" I pleaded. Those two aren't the most reliable people in the world, but they were the only ones around.

"With what?"

"My homework!"

"You haven't done your homework?" Parvati was looking at me like I had just told her we should be bestest friend forever and ever, and giggle in the night over a midnight feast and play ponies and braid each other's hair.

But realistically, not before she had straightened and sprayed and styled my hair, or something. The Three Deadly S's.

Back to the point.

"Well, we're going to get anywhere panicking," Lavender said. She seemed to be focused. Don't ask me why, though. I mean, my reputation and image as the nerdy walking magic-encyclopaedia was at stake, here. "Do you know any spells or something that can like, do your homework for you?"

I really thought she was joking. It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard in my life. That was, until I realized she kinda had a point.

"Huh…" I stood there for a few seconds, wondering where I was going to get that kind of spell. I certainly didn't know one. Normally I don't approve of these kinds of cheats.

Parvati checked her watch.

"Forty minutes."

"OKthanksguysseeyoulaterbye!"

I grabbed my bag and dashed out the girls' dormitory.

"Hermione, wait! You're totally wearing the same thing as like, yesterday!" Lavender called after me.

If only Fred and George were still around. They would definitely be able to give me a homework-doing spell. And it hit me. Lee Jordan! He wasn't in the common room, so I hurried down to the Great Hall. I bet he was just finishing up his breakfast.

Lee had been the twins' best friend, and they had done all their silly pranks together, and I knew he had to have something that could help me. And he probably did, if only I ever got to talk to him about it.

Because as I was half running down some hall, not really looking where I was going, a certain flying someone started pelting me with chalk, and then dumping a trash can on my head, causing me to trip and land on my hands and knees.

"Argh!" I turned and sat on my butt and peeped under the rim, hurt and pissed off and covered in classroom garbage.

"Peeves!" He grinned evilly at me. "Peeves, I will get you, I swear to God, this is not the right time to be messing with me!"

He adjusted his stupid ugly bow tie and opened his mouth.

"Oh you'll get me, will you? Are you quite so sure? Because really, if you are, I'm thinking that I could get you right back."

Completely nonplussed, I wondered what the hell kind of tactic was this?

"And how, exactly, would you get me back?"

He flipped around and regarded me from his upside down position.

"I could tell."

I slowly got to my feet. Tell what? That I haven't done my homework? Sorry Peeves, but everyone in class's gonna know anyway.

He smiled maliciously, turned the right side up, and paused before he sang:

"Granger and Malfoy, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes LOVE-"

My heart dropping like it's hot, I wildly tried to grab him out of the air, but he just circled higher above my reach.

"-Then comes MARRIAGE-"

"Peeves! Shut up! Please shut it, God damn it!" I yelled.

But he had to finish.

"-Then comes the baby in the baby carriage!"

I expected him to stop there. But he just sang louder.

"That's not all, no, that's not all-"

"PEEVES!" I screamed and hurled the trash can at him. He stopped. I looked around frantically but the hall was deserted. I just prayed no one had heard.

Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!

"How the – what – you were? – you know?"

Why thank you, Captain Obvious.

"How do you know?"

And a horrible thought struck me.

"You weren't - there?"

Peeves' toothy smile widened.

"Nice show, Granger! I always knew you had a thing for that Slytherin."

Ignoring this comment, I knew I was in deep, deep shit. My mind raced for something I could use in this situation.

"Fine! Go ahead and tell everyone! See if I care," I tried. Reverse Psychology. People say it works…

His eyes lit up. "Perfect!" he cackled.

Crap.

"No! I take it back. Ok, Peeves, please don't tell anyone! I swear, if you tell anyone, I will die!" I begged.

"Can't promise anything, Miss Smartyhead!"

And he let out the rudest noise from his rear end and zoomed away on fart power. What a disgusting little man.

My heart was racing. My face was flushed. My hands were shaking. And my mind in total panic as I stood there, all alone.

A/N: I'm so sorry I've been absent for so long, but I haven't had my computer forever, due to vacation and moving to a different continent and all that. Review! Please please please.