~ Chakotay ~
Chakotay watched politely as the Captain made her speech. Inside, he couldn't stop worrying about her. Ever since the Plak'han, she had been withdrawn, unemotional. She had ceased to feel, and that worried him.
So he was surprised when he heard her voice catch ever so slightly. And that gleam in her eye…was it a tear? Chakotay was the only one standing close enough to her, the only one who could observe her mask of indifference slipping.
No sooner had the tear left it's home that she was gone, off the boxes. He turned to bring some order to the crew, and then thought better of it. Motioning towards Tuvok, who took his place, he hurried off towards the woods.
The white of the Captain's dress gleamed ahead, the light at the end of the tunnel. He should have been able to catch up with her, but his large body prevented him from dodging and ducking all the branches the Captain so easily avoided.
Where the hell was she going? She disappeared from his sight, leaving him blindly thrashing forward. Finally, he broke through the last barrier of foliage.
Kathryn was kneeling on the ground, leaning against Voyager's slender landing gear. Her hair hid her face, but the violent convulsing of her slender body revealed her anguish. Chakotay cautiously stepped forward. He could now see the individual tears falling from beneath her hair onto the dying grass.
Chakotay was unsure of what to do now. She obviously hadn't heard him, and he was hesitant to disturb her. She was so careful of her image, and he knew the last thins she wanted was anyone seeing her in this state. Finally, he decided to leave her be. Just as he was about to head back, he glanced over his shoulder, only to see her watching him. She turned back toward the landing gear, silent now.
To hell with her pride! Chakotay went over and knelt next to her.
"Captain…"
She kept her face down, but a subtle laugh escaped her lips. "It's no longer 'Captain,' Chakotay. I have no ship, no mission." Chakotay heaved a sigh. Why did she have to pick now to be so stubborn?
"What about catching up on your past? Those seven years we should be recapturing?"
A hand swatted at the empty air, gesturing at nothing. "You're all young. You can start over." Another tear fell. Was it from him?
"And you can't?"
"I'm old, Chakotay."
"Hell, Kathryn, a lot of us are! I'm only three years younger than you! Tuvok's older, and he has family waiting! Everyone has family waiting! And yet, everyone is willing to start over! Why can't you be?"
Kathryn now whipped her head around to face Chakotay, who recoiled slightly. Despite the tear-stained cheeks and red eyes, she now exuded power and authority that struck fear into Chakotay's heart. He almost gave in to leaving her there, but a fire rose from within to meet her own iciness. Before he could say anything though, she started her own tirade.
"I've failed, Chakotay! I promised all those people to get them home! And look! I've managed to get nearly a third of them killed! They all died to ensure we would make it, and here we are, stuck on this planet, thousands of lightyears…from home…" Her voice started to fade, her message out. She went back to sobbing, and Chakotay cradled her head against his chest. The sun light was fading and was replaced by twin moons that reminded Chakotay of his homeworld. They sat quietly for a few minutes, when Kathryn broke the silence.
"Chakotay, I don't know if there really is much more for me to live for."
Chakotay looked down at the reddish hair on his chest and thought for a moment. What did she have to live for? She would never see her family again, and, by her standards, she had failed herself…
"You have your crew. Regardless of what you may think, they need you now, more than ever. They look to you for strength." He leaned in a little, so his voice was right in her ear. "And even if that fails you, your angry warrior will always be here for support."
Kathryn's body went rigid at the last comment, and then relaxed back into him. She fell asleep like that, with Chakotay nodding off a few hours later.