::Sand In My Shoes::

::Chapter One::

Author's Note:

Inspiration comes from the funniest places. I was listening to Dido's 'Sand In My Shoes' (from her 'Life for Rent' album) and suddenly I saw Riku sitting in an apartment curled up against some unknown (at the time at least) lover, in the urban sprawl that couldn't be the Destiny Islands, looking completely miserable.

Then BAM, next thing I knew, there were images of holidays and romance between Riku and Sora! YAY!

At first I was a little sceptical, I thought I was going a little bit crazy because this plot seemed so original and new and needed little guidance to work it to perfection. However, I began to think about the physics of the fic.

A two week holiday equals fourteen days, then I can add a few days either side from Riku's point of view and everything began to fall into place.

This is a first person fic, and the first time I've ever tried to write anything from Riku's POV in first person. Be Kind…

I hope you enjoy SIMS (Sims! YAY!) as much as you've enjoyed my other fictions, hee hee hee…

I've re-used the OC parents from STF for convenience, and seeing as they don't play a major part really…

This fic is dedicated to Kieshar, this was my 'relaxation' fic. It was addictive to write. Good luck with your comics, you lovely, lovely woman.

Disclaimer:

Uh, right. I don't own anything. Buh-bye!

Warning: Shonen-ai and lemon in this fic. You don't like it then don't read it, okay?

'I'm perfectly fine.'

'Stop fussing over me.'

'I'm not a porcelain doll.'

'Why is the light so bright?'

'I'm not at home… What happened?'

::At Home::

Tuesday 31st July

I opened my eyes, the light was bright and my nostrils were filled with the smell of detergent. The kind they use in hospitals… I looked around, my mother, my cousin, but no sign of my lover…

Where was Errol, now when I appeared to need him most?

"Oh Riku, hon, you've finally woken up!" My mother, Amy Cordele, squealed, throwing her arms around me. I didn't understand why I was here… I felt perfectly fine.

"What happened?" I asked. My mother released me, shrugging.

"Apparently the doctors think it's stress related. They think you've been over-working yourself and that you should take a break. When I explained to them what you did they said that it was most likely some kind of stress-induced blackout…" His mother garbled. Riku frowned…

"Right…" He added as she continued to talk, she'd moved on now to slagging off his boss, she always did…

Riku was right underneath the current CEO of a massive organisation that practically monopolised the music industry. It had amazed his employees how he'd managed to get to the top so quickly. The answer had been to sleep his way through quite a few, blackmail some others and work damn hard in between.

Now he sat there, with his fat cat wage, and purred contentedly until the current CEO popped his clogs and let him 'snatch the cream' as it were.

"Anyhow, they suggested you get away from it all for a bit. You know, away from the stress. They said that you should just pack your bags and go. Of course, I'm all for it, hon, you look so tired…" She babbled on. Riku sighed, looking to his cousin for some intervention. Sephiroth just smirked, refusing to come to Riku's aid.

"Fine, mom, as long as you shut up!" Riku snapped. His mother shut her mouth instantly, her eyes tearing up and her bottom lip quivering. Riku squirmed with guilt.

"C'mon mom, not the lip thing," He pleaded as she tried to stop her lip trembling dramatically. He sighed.

"I'm sorry," He said, and the tears dried up instantly. Sighing once more, Riku idly twirled his hair around his finger.

Perhaps a holiday wouldn't be so bad? He and Errol could have some fun in the Caribbean for a few days…

"I'll book you a holiday you'll never forget!" His mother promised. He tried to stop her, but she was already gone. Sighing he glared at his cousin.

"I thought she was supposed to be trying to de-stress me, not cause me more… Thanks a lot by the way for all your help!"

"Don't mention it."

Wednesday 1st August

'What a dream…'

I turned over in my bed, swallowing as I saw Kairi there beside me. We had agreed last night, it was the last night we'd ever stay together, under the same roof. Kairi had managed to sponge an apartment off her work, and that was fine by me, I loved this apartment, it was my bedsit first!

I felt a little guilty. I was splitting up with Kairi because I wasn't interested in… her… anymore. Well, I wasn't interested in women anymore to be honest. I had realised that when I'd begun to dream of him.

He was nameless. He was faceless. He didn't have anything that set him out from the crowd. Somehow, I knew he wasn't just a figment of my imagination, he was real, somewhere…

This man's name, I knew that at least. His name was Riku, and he was utterly alone. I had never seen anything in his life. I had never seen him clearly. But I knew the emotions, I could feel those clear enough.

I heard his thoughts sometimes too. Occasionally I would fall asleep and wake up inside his mind, often he would be making love to his partner. I would always listen to his thoughts, trying to imagine what it would be like it that was me.

Sad? Yep, but I don't mind.

Here I have Kairi, though. She's a babe. I know that. She's the hottest catch on the island, and she's in love with me. All I want though is to push her away.

I don't love her. I thought I did, but I don't I was in love with the way she made me feel about myself. But I realised the first time I had sex with her; she wasn't what I was looking for. She was my first, she would supposed to be special. I had saved myself for her all these years but…

It was all for nothing…

I turned away, but then I heard Kairi sit up.

"You dreamt of him again, didn't you? I heard you muttering his name. Who is he Sora? Do you know him? Is Riku your pet name for someone I know?" She demanded. I sat up, refusing to face her. I hadn't led her to believe that Riku was a person from the island, but if she thought that, I encouraged it. How could I leave her for someone within my own mind?

"Riku is Riku. He's in pain. He got stressed out and went into hospital… He wanted his lover to be there, he wasn't…" I explained. She took a deep breath.

"Then perhaps you should go to him then?" She asked, haughtily. She threw the duvet off her legs and stood up, pulling on her clothes roughly.

"We promised we'd still be friends Kairi. Please don't leave me this way… You know I've always looked to you for everything… Friendship foremost. Please don't hurt me this way…" I begged. She turned her blue eyes to me, before sighing.

"You say not to hurt you but you've hurt me so bad Sora. You've hurt me more than I could ever hurt you… I'll forgive you Sora, but only because I still love you… Damn… I doubt there'll ever be an end to my feelings…" She trailed off. I bit my tongue.

It wasn't my fault that Kairi had fallen in love with me. Perhaps it was because I had led her on, though I don't remember doing. I just remember her walking into my apartment one day and proclaiming that she loved me and that we were meant to be together.

If any girl says that who is halfway hot, no guy is going to say no. It's a sure-fire way to get your leg over. I'll admit, my motives weren't all that pure…

"I'm sorry Kairi," I whispered. She nodded, before proceeding to pack her things. The sun rose over the island and it made the sea sparkle like a gem, and the various plants and animals awoke.

I watched the sea, listening for the door to slam. There it was…

Kairi was gone from my life, no longer able to tie me down…

'I wonder what's in the fridge?'

Saturday 4th August

I lazily flicked the TV over, trying to find something a little mentally stimulating. Instead all I found were reality TV shoes, documentaries on washed up pop stars sticking cocaine up their nostrils and kid's cartoons.

Sighing, I turned off 'Spongebob Squarepants', picking up my well-read volume of 'The Works of William Shakespeare' and removing the bookmark.

"Oh Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou?" A sarcastic voice called. I looked up smiling.

"Errol!" I put the book down, springing to my feet to meet him. Errol looked hot that night, with his black shirt and pants. I hurled myself at him, like a stupid eager puppy greeting it's master. I hadn't seen him since before I had been in hospital.

"Glad to know you missed me," He joked. His short black hair was messed up, there were shadows under his eyes… He originated from Spain, it was his Mediterranean features that attracted me to him in the first place.

"Of course I did!" I chuckled, pushing a kiss against his neck. I continued upwards, leaving a trail of kisses to his lips. He turned his face away.

"Not tonight Riku. I'm tired," Errol said, pushing me away. I blinked up at him, then watched him remove his shoes, help himself to my fridge and turn to TV onto one of those brain-numbing reality TV shows.

'Not tonight Riku, I'm tired…'

He'd been saying it a lot lately. Errol had never stayed the whole night, he'd never invited me round his place, and sometimes he wouldn't even hold me.

But I trusted him with everything. They keys to my apartment, a joint bank account, my heart… Perhaps I trusted him a little too much?

"You just going to stand there?" He growled. If anyone else had said that, I would have snapped at them. But it was Errol, so I complacently sat down beside him, curling into a ball and staring at the screen, unseeing.

It was then the phone rang. Errol didn't move to get it, so I stood up, answered the phone on it's fourth ring.

"This is Riku speaking," I said softly. I always had to be quiet when Errol was around. He didn't like me to be 'feisty'. He said he liked his lovers to be quiet and gentle. So I was. Anything to keep him happy.

"Hello, darling, it's me, mom," She said, kindly. I smiled.

"Hey mom," I replied brightly. I took the phone into the kitchen, so I wouldn't disturb Errol's TV watching.

"I booked the holiday Riku. You fly out on Monday. I booked you into a hotel in the Destiny Islands, they are beautiful, I saw it on a holiday show and it looks perfect for a stress fee holiday. You'll be there for two weeks. I'll be over with the tickets later!" She trilled. Riku smiled.

"Thanks mom. I'm really looking forward to spending sometime with Errol away from the city."

"…"

"Mom?"

"Er, Riku, honey, you weren't listening to me in the hospital were you? You're going to go on holiday alone. I couldn't possibly afford to pay for both you and Errol… You haven't told him about this have you?"

"No… I can't go without him mom…"

"I'm sorry honey. I thought you knew…"

"It's… okay… Drop the tickets by later…"

"I'm sorry…"

She hung up. I stared at the receiver. I wasn't sure how Errol would take this… He always got insanely jealous whenever I left, as though I would cheat on him as soon as I was out of his sight.

"Who was that?" Errol asked. I smiled at him, nervously.

"My mom… Er, Errol, could you turn that down? I need to talk to you…" I said quietly. He turned the TV off, turning to me.

"Yes?" He demanded. I looked into his chestnut eyes and felt my throat tighten. What was I so afraid of?

"You know I was in hospital, right?" I began. He chuckled.

"Of course I knew," He replied. That stung. He had known I was in hospital and yet he had never come to see me. A painful thought…

"Well, the doctors prescribed a holiday, as apparently the whole thing was caused by stress. I left my mom to book the holiday… She only booked for me to go…" I trailed away, holding my breath. Errol blinked at me.

"And?" He asked. My mouth fell open.

"You're not angry?" I inwardly felt both pleased, humiliated and slightly put out by the fact that Errol didn't think it was such a big deal.

"I'll find ways to pass the time. How long is it? A month?" He asked, turning the TV back on. I looked at my feet.

Over the next half an hour I didn't say anything. It wasn't required of me to. And that night I felt that feeling again. That I wasn't as alone as I thought I was.

That someone, somewhere, could love me like I loved them…

Monday 6th August

I sat in the airport, drumming my fingers against the table. I had nothing to do for the next hour or so except to listen to my headphones and think about life. When I thought I about it…

Was I truly happy with Errol? I loved him, sure, but did I like him? I wasn't so convinced anymore.

Is it possible to be in love with someone without liking them? I want someone to wave a magic wand and make Errol love me, but it seems that I'm destined to never be loved.

He's too good for me. He's beautiful… Me? I'm probably just the rich mug who funds his activities.

How many times had I bailed him out of jail? How many times had I been fed lies? How many times had he thought of me as a stupid idiot for not seeing it?

"All passengers to the Destiny Islands on flight XG 458-418 departing at 10:00 please make your way to Gate 14. The plane must take off early due to restrictions on air travel. I repeat…"

'Good job I got here early.'

I picked up my small backpack that contained my CD player, a book and some flight snacks (I don't trust airline catering ever since that time… No, you don't want to hear about that…) and trudged over to Gate 14.

I sat down on the plane, listening to the babble of the pilot about safety restrictions on the plane. However, I perked up when I heard him explain why we had to leave early.

"The Destiny Islands are only small, and the airport is on the nearest mainland to them. A ferry is needed to get to the islands and there are no guarantees that the service will be running constantly. Due to the weather forecast for the Destiny Islands, we have been advised to get you there early so you can catch your various ferries. Thank you for listening, we will be taking off in a few minutes," The pilot switched his microphone off.

I sat there, happy in the knowledge that I would be staying in some backwater place that was quiet and peaceful, where I could think.

How could I know how wrong I'd be?

Monday 6th August

'We're all going on a- summer holiday. We're all going where the- sky is blue. Fun and laughter on a- summer holiday. For me and yoo-oo-ooou, for a week or twooooo.'

I chuckled to myself from behind the counter of the café. The Destiny Islands ran most of it's economy off tourism, so a lot of places catered only for tourists. There were a few places that weren't too touristy, that was where the locals hung out.

The place where I worked, The Paopu Café, was on a small islet that could only be access when the tide was out. Of course, there were boats to get people across to the small collection of shops that offered more authentic souvenirs of the island.

In other words, this was the cultural section of the holiday resort where all the refined people came.

'Or, in short terms, it's where the old farts come.'

I sighed, then served an old woman, who ordered a coffee and a muffin and proceeded to badger me about various tourist attractions on the island.

"Are they any good?"

"Could you recommend the best time to see them?"

"How much does it cost?"

The questions went on and on, but I think it's against my nature to be annoyed. Although I'd have rather been left to do my job, (the queue was getting longer and longer behind her) she relieved some of the monotony of my work.

"Thank you so much. Here, buy yourself a strong cup of tea. You look like you need it," She handed me a ten dollar bill and didn't wait for any change.

I served the angry mob that had formed behind her, offering them free cookies for their troubles. I neglected to mention to them that those were the out of date cookies that I was supposed to be taking home later.

It seemed that no one noticed…

Ending Notes:

I must end there, as the next chapter is all about Monday 6th August and I can't write too much about it here. I hope you liked this first chapter. I'm quite pleased with it actually. It's got quite a good bit of length too, which I was unsure whether it would have at first.

When I look at my writing I can see a steady progression. From Things I'll Never Say, through TWL, Heartagram, STF and finally this fic. I think I've come a long way in the year and a half I've been writing on …

R&R