A/N: So, we received several reviews from people saying things like (said in a whiny voice) "That's never how Artemis would act" and "You're totally ruining him."

You know what, if you don't like it, you don't have to read it. It's that simple.

Now, both of the authors have read "Opal Deception" (we both read my copy, by the way…) and we know that this isn't how it turns out, but I'm the one with the binder and I feel like posting something.

Like I said before, if you don't like this story, sucks to be you because I'm posting whether you want me to or not.

Oh, and this story was written entirely by Nikki Lamont, not me (the person typing this is Nicole Blaseckie, owner of Myndi and this account).

Disclaimer: The only characters that are owned by the authors are Serenity Shizuka, and Myndi McKerson, unless otherwise noted. All other characters (Arty, Butler, Root, etc) are copyrighted to Eoin Colfer and his lawyers

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"Find anything good?" asked Myndi as she casually filed her nails while lying on her bed.

"No," replied Serenity who was seated on the floor in front of Myndi's bed with a laptop on her crossed legs, "Absolutely nothing to see. And Myndi?"

"Mmm?"

"Why do you bother to file your nails? Never get them the way you want and end up having a fit."

Serenity could almost see the steam issuing from Myndi's ears as she responded, "I do not! I file them just fine! And I never freak out! Ever!" she was now standing with one hand on her side and the other stretched out, file in hand, looking for all the world like she might stab her roommate.

"Calm yourself, Myndi. There's no need for that. I apologize."

"Damn straight you do."

Serenity sighed. Myndi was great, but she far was too….angry sometimes. "Ad…hoax…fancomic…fanfic…hoax…oh, what's this?"

"What the eff is that damn beeping! I thought you pirated that popup blocker software!" Myndi practically screamed.

"I did. It's not a popup."

Suddenly, Myndi was calm. She placed her nail file on her bedside table and strode to where Serenity was seated, then crouched to see the small computer screen. "It's…"

"A fairy site. A good one at that," Serenity said.

"I can see that, dumbass."

"Oh, what a compliment."

"Stuff it."

"What do we do?" Serenity asked.

"Trace it, I guess," Myndi replied with a shrug.

"Very well."

Myndi puffed herself up into an important-looking stance, "Very well," she mimicked, "my blondie-roomie-slave."

Serenity paid her no attention, "Oh…" she mumbled.

"What? What? What the fuck is it!"

"Fowl."

"Great. Stinky things."

"No, Fowl."

"Birdies?" Of course Myndi was just playing at this point, she knew exactly who Serenity was talking about.

"Artemis Fowl…that's a lovely name…"

Myndi rolled her eyes, "You're such a sucker for mythological names."

"So what if I am?"

Myndi looked into her eyes. They shone with mischief and an urge to shoot/stab something. Somehow, this look didn't frighten Myndi in the least. It never did.

"We should find him," Myndi suggested.

Serenity scrolled through the main page, "Yes. But we should contact Root first and let him know we're taking care of it."

"Let's go then!" Myndi said, going to the corner of her room and pulling the metal strongbox that served as a weapons locker out from under a pile of laundry.

"No lasers," Serenity ordered, knowing full well the lasers were what Myndi was going fo.

"Why not? They're so much more fun."

"PP7's this time. Lasers are much more easily detected by sensors," she explained rationally.

"Pfft. Fine. Have it your way," Myndi said, rather disappointedly.

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A/N: That was a short one.