Much Evil
Chapter 2
By shadows/of/flame

Thanks everyone:) Evian shall die soon, by reviewer's request... but there will be lots more brainhurting before that unfortunately XD

"Metal Heads? I didn't know you liked killing them Torny!" Evian exclaimed, her grip on Torn's arm becoming stronger.
He could have sworn his hands were going blue from lack of blood to them.

Jak and Daxter were still very amused by this pigheaded girl, and they hadn't quite tired of watching her make Torn angry time after time.

"Hey... did anyone else notice what her name is backwards?" Daxter hissed to Jak, and a smirk made it's way onto the renegade's face.

"Come on, Metal Heads don't kill themselves." Torn muttered, and Evian squealed loudly in his ear.
"OMFG! I'm going METAL HEAD HUNTING WITH TOOOORNYYYY! YAAAY!" she squealed, again, right in his ear, and the poor elf reminded himself to take earmuffs of some description along...

"We'll wait here for you guys to come back, if you don't mind." Jak snerked, exiting as quickly as possible without getting burnt into ashes by Torn, and Tess only too happily let them into the Underground despite Torn's rather loud groans of protest.

"Make sure all your safety gear's on before we go Torny! It's oh so dangerous out there, what with all the metal heads and all. I don't want my littl' dah-ling to get boo-boos!" Evian simpered, releasing one of her arm's grips on Torn for a moment...

...he breathed a sigh of relief as he took to getting her other filthy human hand off him...

...when she patted him on the head!1!

He froze as she repeated the action several times, his dreadlocks wanting to crawl off his head in protest.
Now she would have to suffer, and suffer good.

Torn knew if the Underground actually had windows, Jak and Daxter would be peering out the windows laughing at him.
He had a large desire for a shower now, as he was sure the Mary Sue carried some sort of evil, festering disease.

"Come on Torny! Let's go!" she giggled, dragging him to a zoomer with her oh-so-unhuman ultra human strength.
A lot of people noticed this strange girl who was lacking in elven ears, and started whispering.

What was she doing in Haven City?
Where were her pointed ears?

Needless to say, she was ridiculed a lot, and of course, she got very upset about that and clung to Torn tearfully.
He wished he could just shoot her in the head and get it over with.

But she would have to suffer a more long and slow death than that. The Mary Sue had caused him too much misery to have a quick and painless death, so, unfortunately, he would have to endure her germs longer.

The more he suffered, the more she did later on. A fair trade, as long as disinfectant was not too far out of reach once she was take care of.

"We're here." the ex-commander muttered gruffly, prying himself from her grip and unsuccessfully trying to get off the zoomer without falling over. He knocked Evian down with him, and she started giggling.

"Ooohhhh! Toooorny, you beast you!"
Torn resisted the urge to bitch slap her. "Ashelin's the only one for me." he hissed, getting up and sticking a gun in her face.

His short fuse had nearly completely fizzled out, and Evian was grating severely on his patience.
"But, Tooorny!" her bottom lip wobbled in protest to this act of violence, and tears started streaming out of her eyes.

He hadn't know tears could stream until that very moment. "Just go back home, you stupid sook." he snapped, shutting her up momentarily.
"I am NOT a sook! But the fanfictions say that I have to admit I am and make him feel sorry!" she whispered too loudly, and Torn pretended with all his might that he hadn't just heard that.

He pulled a mega huge rifle out of the zoomer's trunk, and dropped it into her hands.
She had only just stood up, but the rifle was so damned heavy she nearly fell over again.

"That's what you're hunting the metal heads with. Can we get going now?" Torn asked irritably, wondering how quickly this could have been done if he'd just blown her head off from the start.

"But Torny! It's far too heavy for my delicate Mary Sue fingers!" she whined, her high pitched tone breaking windows several miles away.
"That's the only gun I brought along besides my own, sorry." Torn replied with a smirk, securing his earplugs in before loading his two pistols.

"Why can't I use yooooour guuuuun?" she whinged, breaking a few more windows. Torn, however, was now thankfully immune to the high pitched squeal.
But, the whinging soon turned to crying, which didn't work, and breaking things, which hurt her more than it hurt him.

Torn started boredly walking towards the forests' main metal head nest, and Evian soon realised she was being left behind.

"HEY! Fanfiction rule number 8394! No leaving the hot female love interest behind! HEEEY! ARE YOU LISTENING!" she screamed, and Torn shot and killed an invisible metalhead that was lurking behind her left ear.

"Did you say something?" he smirked, knowing that hunting with her would be more fun than he thought.

"N...nope. Hey! I said WAIT UP!"

'I knew her being quiet was too good to be true...'

Part 3 - When Metal Heads actually decide to do favours for people.
Coming soon to a computer screen near you...