Title: Painful Memories
Author: Gremlin15
Disclaimer: I do not own Sirius, Remus, or any other thing that seems familiar in the HP universe. I do, however, own the plot.
Warnings: Slash-ish Remus/Sirius.
Please Review
Remus refuses to remember.
Sirius refuses to forget.
But sometimes the memories just flood him. And for some strange reason the ones with Sirius in them bring warmth and love, not the bitter anger they should have. Remus never was able to blame Sirius for the deaths of James and Lily and Peter. He knew his friend could never be a murderer, it just wasn't in his blood.
But sometimes the dementors wouldn't let up and then he would forget. And it hurt so much to feel the memories being torn from him. Especially the ones with Remus in them. Those were the memories that kept him going, and they were being ripped from him little by little.
They all tell Remus to let go.
They all tell Sirius to give up.
But Remus knows it wasn't Sirius. Deep, deep down he knows Padfoot couldn't do it. James was the only person who would agree with Remus now, and James was dead. Remus couldn't explain it, but so many things didn't add up.
But Sirius needed to keep going. Because he wasn't going to die without telling Remus that he wasn't the killer. He wasn't going to give Voldemort, to give Peter that. He had to keep going, because he couldn't die before he knew Remus still loved him.
Remus hates the pity.
Sirius hates the vulnerability.
Because Remus never did like pity. Even after he was bitten by the wolf he would accept no pity. And now, now that Sirius was locked up he still refused the pity. He just wants someone to believe him. But no one does. No one understands Sirius like Remus does. No one knows that Sirius would never do that like Remus does. No body believes in Sirius like Remus does. So Remus will keep fighting for Sirius, he'd do anything for him.
Because Sirius always loved the high of feeling invincible. It hurts more hearing his own screams than it does loosing most of his memories. Except for when those memories concern Remus. Then it feels like his souls is being torn from him and he doesn't mind screaming. He'd do anything for Remus.
Author's Note: Yeah, I'm on a bit of a Sirius/Remus kick. I'm writing a novel length story based on the Marauders and their romances, including Sirius/Remus, so keep an eye out for it. Especially if you liked this story and want to see a normal Peter.