On Boyfriends

When Miriallia Met Yzak

Author's Note: Alright, it's been a busy month for me! School trip to Japan! It was cool, but it kept me from the com... well, anyway, here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it, and here's the standard disclaimer.

The boys of Gundam Seed (Destiny) do not belong to me. Or else, DearkaYzak would be CANON. Not FANON.

I think I might have clued Lacus in to the whole Dearka – Yzak thing. Either that, or there's another reason why she's extra smiley today. (Never smirky. Lacus Clyne, is never, ever smirky.) It's just that we were discussing how guys were all irritating, which naturally led me to the subject of Dearka and Yzak. Miriallia Haww does not like arrogant bastards. Which, I suppose, is why Yzak Jule and I didn't get off to the best of starts.

Starts, I hear you say knowingly. In case you're thinking that after a while, everything became peachy-keen between us, don't get me wrong – it wasn't just the start. I still happen to think Yzak is a conceited guy with a stick up his ass (with an expression to match it, no less). Just that now, he's a little more tolerable, now that the stick's not the only thing up his ass.

After a bit of hindsight, our first meeting probably went down in Dearka's little black book as 'The Day I Suffered A Lot of Pain'.

In fact, later on in the day he called me, like a sweet, dutiful boyfriend does. Only, our phone conversation went something like this.

'Hello, this is Miriallia Haww speaking.'

'Miri.' Please imagine here a tone of unimaginable pathos and heartbreak. And you know what? I think it was actually genuine.

'Dearka? What's wrong?' It's generally thought impossible for most humans to inject so much utter tragedy into their voice. To do so, you generally have to be 1) Kira Middle-Name-Angst Yamato 2) an anime character who's just found out he's fighting his childhood best friend and 3) a Dearka who's just been rejected by one Yzak Jule.

'Yzak's not talking to me anymore!'

Imagine my utter silence. (What could I have said? Oh, poor darling, it's okay, baby, he's such a bastard, he doesn't deserve you?)

'And I don't know why!'

Imagine my utter, utter silence. (What could I have said? Oh, sweetie, don't cry, it's just, you know, that time of the month, it'll be okay in a couple of days...)

'Miri?'

Maybe I should have said it. As it was, I said, 'Well, maybe he's just tired today, or something.' (Well done, Miriallia, forever the voice of reason when you know you really want to be the voice of snark…) 'Did you do anything to upset him?'

'No!'

'Was he angry at you yesterday?'

'No!'

'So it must have been something you did today,' I reasoned, resignedly carrying the phone with me to the kitchen to get a cup of tea. This was going to be a long conversation. 'This morning? Was he angry yet?'

'No!'

'So... the two of you went to work, I presume?' I waited for Dearka's noise of assent before continuing. 'And then... lunch?'

'Sheesh, I was with you all through lunch! Miri, that's what I'm telling you, I can't think of anything I've done today to make him even remotely mad, and worse, he swears he's not mad at me, but he has that pissy look on his face that screams he's mad at me,' Dearka finally finished. One breath, not bad.

'He could be mad at someone else?' I suggested. Dearka dismissed it immediately. You see what I mean? Dearka has spent so much time tiptoeing rings around Yzak's incredible temper that he's immediately capable of identifying a I'm-Pissed-at-Work, a I'm-Pissed-at-the-World-in-General, a I'm-Pissed-at-Assrun-Zala, and a I'm-Pissed-at-YOU-Dearka-and-you-had-better-find-out-why-very-very-soon-and-come-placate-me-or-you're-locked-out-of-the-bedroom-for-the-next-week.

'Okay. You've known Yzak longer than me. What have you done today out of the ordinary? Even if it's a really small thing.'

'NOTHING!'

'Nothing? You sure?'

'Wait. Lunch with you. Generally I eat lunch with him.'

Bingo.

'Bingo.'

'Miri, you can't be telling me Yzak's jealous about me eating lunch with you.'

'I shrug, Dearka. I shrug.'

Actually, when I thought about it, it was quite possible. If Yzak had been a girl (something I'm still not quite sure of), he'd probably have stormed up to me and said something along the lines of 'What the hell do you think you're doing with my boyfriend'. Worse, he? she? it? would have bitch-slapped me without warning. (Oh I shudder. I shud-der.)

So essentially, Miriallia Haww had been on her way to see the newspaper editor, to hand him the latest photos (Remember, Miri, this editor wants no pictures of the ZAFT army getting their arses kicked, those are for the other editor, the one who secretly believes Dullindal is an alien mushroom bent on terrorizing the world) of Impulse kicking ass, and her phone rang in the lobby of the newspaper building.

She realizes it's Dearka Elthman and picks up the phone. (The phone seems to be featuring a lot in her life lately.) 'Dearka? What's up?'

'You free for lunch, Miri?'

'I will be... in about half an hour, maybe?'

'Great. There's this really nice little restaurant off Main Street; it has the best pasta. I'll pick you up?'

'Fine by me – I'm in the ZAFT Herald Headquarters. Just wait outside, if you don't mind – I have to see the editor.'

'Will do. See you in half an hour, then!'

So Miriallia Haww, shutting the phone and putting it away, simply proceeds to get on with her perfectly civilian life. And then, half an hour later, Dearka Elthman is waiting outside the building, waiting to get her for lunch. She tells her reporter friend goodbye. The reporter friend raises an eyebrow. 'You're going on a date with Dearka Elthman? I thought he was gay with Jule?'

I shrug, my dear friend. I shrug. (You see, there are too many things in life that are out of our control. You must learn to shrug and go with the flow. Zen... that is truly all.)

(Right.)

So Miriallia hops on down the stairs and then gets into the car. All good. Dearka drives like a madman – a habit probably picked up in avoidance of paparazzi trying to catch him being 'gay with Jule' (not that he isn't! even if the two themselves didn't know it at that time!) So they go, they park, they find a seat at nice little café. It has good ambience. Even after I 'broke up' with Dearka, I still liked going there. Of course, now I'm stuck with the ship's cafeteria... no offense to the cook. (I wouldn't want to offend a woman with the arms of a man. A very strong man.)

So lunch proceeds. The pasta is good, and Dearka is good at telling stories – or at least, gossiping. Miriallia likes the idea of blackmail, because who would ever have guessed that at one point Athrun had loud- emphasis on the loud there! – fantasies of one of his childhood best friends? (These teenage boys... if you can't get your fiancée to sleep with you, settle for second best and jerk off to images of your best friend? It's wince-worthy, I tell you.)

And so lunch proceeds. Dearka talks of the people he has to meet now, people who glance at him and see only the green uniform. He is generally pissed off by people like this, and can't do anything about it, but at least most of the time the people who piss him off piss Yzak too, for some reason. And if you piss Yzak off he'll generally decimate you. (Unless you're Zala. To date, Yzak has never managed to get the better of Athrun Zala. It's the uke-complex acting up in the presence of a more dominant male, and please don't tell Dearka I said that.)

And so lunch proceeds. (Is that line getting a little old by now?) Okay, lunch continues. And it continues fine until another car screams up to us. (That habit learned in avoidance of paparazzi trying to catch him being 'gay with Elthman'.) And one Yzak Jule gets out, looking as if he expects the world to fall at his feet and worship. (It's the hair. Guys with good hair are always terribly egoistic.)

'Yzak!' Dearka calls, smiling. (He didn't know the shit he was getting into, the poor boy... the cogs in Yzak's mind must have already been turning the minute he saw Dearka with me. Can't kill the girl, but can put Dearka through hell and back...)

'Dearka,' Yzak greets, turning to Miriallia Haww. Immediately Miri decides she does not like Yzak Jule. (Arrogant people have lovely mannerisms but the eyes always, always, always give them away. For Yzak, that's not necessary. Everything screams arrogant.)

'Oh, Yzak, this is Miriallia Haww. Miri, Yzak Jule.'

Miri is determined to be polite. 'It's nice to meet you.'

'Nice to meet you too.'

Neither of them offer their hands for a shake.

'I've never heard Dearka mention you before, Miriallia.' Just who the hell are you and why the hell are you eating lunch with my boyfriend?

'It must have slipped his mind, I suppose.' Insert false laugh here. 'But I've definitely heard a lot about you.' Who are you? The jealous ex? And I'll eat lunch with anyone I please.

'Yes, Dearka is like that,' Yzak admits gracefully, staring pure murder at me. You should be glad we're in a public place.

'You two have known each other quite some time, haven't you?' Rawr. I'm terrified.

'You could say so.' Keep your paws off him.

'Yes. Dearka has told me a lot about you.' Miaow.

Silence ensues. Yzak turns to Dearka, tells him that there's a meeting at three. Drives off.

Dearka is oblivious. (Ah, happy are the ignorant.)

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was How Miriallia Haww Met Yzak Jule.

Author's Note: How was it? Review! Remember, reviews are crack to an author and she needs them to live or she will die of the hunger and not be able to write anymore...