Disclaimer: I don't own em'
Title: Cale Diaries
Rating: PG
Episode Reference: Pilot
Fic Reference: Someone to Watch Over
Feedback: Always Welcome! Just email me at afanofda@yahoo.com
A/N: Logan enjoys an unexpected miracle as he starts to put his life back together.
Chapter 11: Friday May 17, 2019 - Miracles Come in Different Forms
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday May 17, 2019
9:30 am
I'm sitting here by the window waiting for Bling to finish setting up the training table for our first rehab session. Yesterday I was so impatient for us to start but this morning I'm hoping that Bling will take his time setting up. Now that it's here I am extremely nervous about today. Am I really ready? Will I be able to do the work? Will my body cooperate or will I fall flat on my face? I don't trust myself anymore. My judgement is unreliable. Bling seems to think that I am ready. I just hope that I don't disappoint him.
As I look out the window I can't shake this feeling of being watched, that there really is someone out there. Maybe my angel is back today hiding on that roof across the street. It would be so nice knowing that there was someone else out there watching out for me, pulling for me. I could use all the help I could get right now.
1:00 p.m.
Before we even got started I gave Bling a hard time about how short our session was going to be. Only one hour. What could we possibly accomplish in an hour? Bling said it would be enough. He was right of course. One hour was more than enough. By the end of our session I was exhausted.
We worked on core stability and muscular endurance. Bling guided me through a series of exercises for abdominals, arms, chest and back. He helped me get situated lying on my back on the training table. He stood at my side and stabilized my legs as we began with some abdominal work. We didn't do a single situp. Instead he had me focus on isolating and contracting each muscle group. Bling mentioned that my injury was at thorasic vertebra number eight "T8". As a result I would have varying amounts motor control in my abdominals. He described each muscle group as we progressed, upper abdominals (rectus abdominus), diagonal abdominals (internal and external obliques), lower abdominals (transversus). I have no trasversus control at all but I do have good rectus control and a little control of my obliques. They are significantly affected by my injury, but if I focus hard I can feel a contraction. Bling was very impressed that I could do that. He said I had excellent abdominal control relative to the location of my injury and that it was a strong base to build upon. Still I was surprised at how difficult even a few simple contractions could be.
Then we moved on to the bench press. Bling placed a couple of dumbbells in my hands and moved to the head of the table to spot me as I worked through the repetitions. The weights he offered me were laughable. They were almost no weight at all. But it was all I could do to complete a set of ten repetitions. Finally Bling helped me into a sitting position. He supported my back as we completed several more upper body exercises. He kept up a constant commentary as we worked, explaining each exercise and its purpose, giving me technique cues and encouraging me along. I learned more about strength training in our session today than I had in my whole life previously. After twenty minutes I was breathing hard and wasn't able to do much more. Bling said I did good work. I can't believe how much I needed to hear that.
We spent about ten minutes stretching the areas we had just worked. It felt so good to relax into the stretches and allow the tension of the workout and the day to ease out of my body.
Then Bling completely shocked me by what he said next.
"Okay, now we will work on the range of motion in your hips, knees and ankles. Even though you can't feel it right now I want you to think relaxed and free. This is one of the most important things we will do each day even if we do nothing else. We need to maintain the elasticity in your leg muscles and to keep the synovial fluid moving in your joints. This is essential for you to be able to walk again." He said it so calmly and matter-of-factly there appeared to be no question in his mind that I would walk again.
Walk again?
Bling spent the remaining time working on my legs. I was just a passive participant in this part; there wasn't much I could offer. So I just lay there repeatedly replaying in my head what he had just said. "This is essential for you to be able to walk again."
I haven't even thought about walking again. I so hope it is true. I would give anything for that to happen. But I can't even consider walking right now. It seems too impossible, too far away. All I want right now is to be able to get out of this chair on my own.
9:00 p.m.
Bling introduced me to the slide board this afternoon. It's really just a simple tool that assists me in completing transfers into and out of the wheelchair. After yesterday's fiasco I know I don't have the strength to do that by myself right now. Bling seems to think I'll be able to in a few weeks but he gave me the slide board to use in the meantime. All I need to do is place one end under my hip and the other end on the couch or bed then slide my self over. The board supports my bodyweight so it is surprisingly effective and simple to use. I tried it dozens of times today, getting the feel of it and each time my grin grew wider and wider. I couldn't help it. It felt like a miracle.
Bling gave me a precious gift today. He gave me back some of my freedom. I wasn't expecting any miracles today, but I still received one. Maybe there really is an angel watching over me.
Now I can get in or out of the chair any time I want. It's a most amazing feeling being able to perform that simple act by myself. I can slide onto the bed by myself and read for a few hours. If I'm thirsty or want a snack I can climb out, go to the kitchen, get what I want and return. If I get tired of reading in bed I can slide into the chair and be back here at this window in moment. If I want to sit on the couch while I do some writing I can do that as well. I can do these things without asking for Bling's help. I can do them by myself.
BY MYSELF. These are the most wonderful words in the universe right now. I did not know what freedom was until I lost it. Now after all these weeks of forced dependence I know what it is. I know how sweet even a taste of freedom can be.
It's only 9:00 p.m. but I'm exhausted. I'm trying to finish this off but I can barely keep my eyes open. Today took more out of me than I anticipated. I could go to bed I suppose, although normally I don't really like to. I usually prefer falling asleep in the chair or on the couch rather than asking Bling for help with the transfer onto the bed. But now I can do that by myself. So maybe I will go to bed.
Maybe I will.... Just because I can.
Title: Cale Diaries
Rating: PG
Episode Reference: Pilot
Fic Reference: Someone to Watch Over
Feedback: Always Welcome! Just email me at afanofda@yahoo.com
A/N: Logan enjoys an unexpected miracle as he starts to put his life back together.
Chapter 11: Friday May 17, 2019 - Miracles Come in Different Forms
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday May 17, 2019
9:30 am
I'm sitting here by the window waiting for Bling to finish setting up the training table for our first rehab session. Yesterday I was so impatient for us to start but this morning I'm hoping that Bling will take his time setting up. Now that it's here I am extremely nervous about today. Am I really ready? Will I be able to do the work? Will my body cooperate or will I fall flat on my face? I don't trust myself anymore. My judgement is unreliable. Bling seems to think that I am ready. I just hope that I don't disappoint him.
As I look out the window I can't shake this feeling of being watched, that there really is someone out there. Maybe my angel is back today hiding on that roof across the street. It would be so nice knowing that there was someone else out there watching out for me, pulling for me. I could use all the help I could get right now.
1:00 p.m.
Before we even got started I gave Bling a hard time about how short our session was going to be. Only one hour. What could we possibly accomplish in an hour? Bling said it would be enough. He was right of course. One hour was more than enough. By the end of our session I was exhausted.
We worked on core stability and muscular endurance. Bling guided me through a series of exercises for abdominals, arms, chest and back. He helped me get situated lying on my back on the training table. He stood at my side and stabilized my legs as we began with some abdominal work. We didn't do a single situp. Instead he had me focus on isolating and contracting each muscle group. Bling mentioned that my injury was at thorasic vertebra number eight "T8". As a result I would have varying amounts motor control in my abdominals. He described each muscle group as we progressed, upper abdominals (rectus abdominus), diagonal abdominals (internal and external obliques), lower abdominals (transversus). I have no trasversus control at all but I do have good rectus control and a little control of my obliques. They are significantly affected by my injury, but if I focus hard I can feel a contraction. Bling was very impressed that I could do that. He said I had excellent abdominal control relative to the location of my injury and that it was a strong base to build upon. Still I was surprised at how difficult even a few simple contractions could be.
Then we moved on to the bench press. Bling placed a couple of dumbbells in my hands and moved to the head of the table to spot me as I worked through the repetitions. The weights he offered me were laughable. They were almost no weight at all. But it was all I could do to complete a set of ten repetitions. Finally Bling helped me into a sitting position. He supported my back as we completed several more upper body exercises. He kept up a constant commentary as we worked, explaining each exercise and its purpose, giving me technique cues and encouraging me along. I learned more about strength training in our session today than I had in my whole life previously. After twenty minutes I was breathing hard and wasn't able to do much more. Bling said I did good work. I can't believe how much I needed to hear that.
We spent about ten minutes stretching the areas we had just worked. It felt so good to relax into the stretches and allow the tension of the workout and the day to ease out of my body.
Then Bling completely shocked me by what he said next.
"Okay, now we will work on the range of motion in your hips, knees and ankles. Even though you can't feel it right now I want you to think relaxed and free. This is one of the most important things we will do each day even if we do nothing else. We need to maintain the elasticity in your leg muscles and to keep the synovial fluid moving in your joints. This is essential for you to be able to walk again." He said it so calmly and matter-of-factly there appeared to be no question in his mind that I would walk again.
Walk again?
Bling spent the remaining time working on my legs. I was just a passive participant in this part; there wasn't much I could offer. So I just lay there repeatedly replaying in my head what he had just said. "This is essential for you to be able to walk again."
I haven't even thought about walking again. I so hope it is true. I would give anything for that to happen. But I can't even consider walking right now. It seems too impossible, too far away. All I want right now is to be able to get out of this chair on my own.
9:00 p.m.
Bling introduced me to the slide board this afternoon. It's really just a simple tool that assists me in completing transfers into and out of the wheelchair. After yesterday's fiasco I know I don't have the strength to do that by myself right now. Bling seems to think I'll be able to in a few weeks but he gave me the slide board to use in the meantime. All I need to do is place one end under my hip and the other end on the couch or bed then slide my self over. The board supports my bodyweight so it is surprisingly effective and simple to use. I tried it dozens of times today, getting the feel of it and each time my grin grew wider and wider. I couldn't help it. It felt like a miracle.
Bling gave me a precious gift today. He gave me back some of my freedom. I wasn't expecting any miracles today, but I still received one. Maybe there really is an angel watching over me.
Now I can get in or out of the chair any time I want. It's a most amazing feeling being able to perform that simple act by myself. I can slide onto the bed by myself and read for a few hours. If I'm thirsty or want a snack I can climb out, go to the kitchen, get what I want and return. If I get tired of reading in bed I can slide into the chair and be back here at this window in moment. If I want to sit on the couch while I do some writing I can do that as well. I can do these things without asking for Bling's help. I can do them by myself.
BY MYSELF. These are the most wonderful words in the universe right now. I did not know what freedom was until I lost it. Now after all these weeks of forced dependence I know what it is. I know how sweet even a taste of freedom can be.
It's only 9:00 p.m. but I'm exhausted. I'm trying to finish this off but I can barely keep my eyes open. Today took more out of me than I anticipated. I could go to bed I suppose, although normally I don't really like to. I usually prefer falling asleep in the chair or on the couch rather than asking Bling for help with the transfer onto the bed. But now I can do that by myself. So maybe I will go to bed.
Maybe I will.... Just because I can.