Death Bring What You Will
"Aoshi would you mind passing the bread?"
Aoshi looked up from his dinner of piping hot noodles he had prepared himself. Silently he grabbed the bread basket from his left and handed it to Misao, sitting across from him. As she took it his fingers brushed lightly against hers.
Misao cheeks tinted red, and Aoshi abruptly looked back down to his dinner. Ever since that night nothing had been the same between them. Every word, every touch was suddenly complicated and embarrassing. That night, it was only a week ago. It all happened so fast it almost seemed a blur to him and now his heart was filled with regret and shame and yet something was there he'd never known before.
"Aoshi?"
He snapped back to reality. "Yes Misao?"
The young eighteen year old before him sat back on chair and ripped a large portion from her butter bun. "I asked how your day was."
"Fine," he stated blandly and returned to his bowl of noodles.
Misao frowned at his frigidness. Why did everything have to be so difficult and make everything so awkward for them? "Good," she said and put her empty bowl in the kitchen sink and walked out into the living room leaving Aoshi the way he liked to be, alone.
She sighed and strolled over to the mantle, letting a cold quietness settle over her. Picking up a picture frame surrounded with incense and candles, she stroked the image with affection. Was he looking down at her now? Watching over her and Aoshi in his house?
It was just two months since Okina's funeral, that fateful day in August. To Misao, she was sure the shock had really settled in. Perhaps her subconscious was playing a devious trick on her, that Okina would one day walk through that door again. He would go sit in his favourite lounge chair, now dusty with an aura of emptiness, and tell stories of where he's been all this time; of the places he's been and give Misao little trinkets he picked up on the way, just like he used to.
But Okina wasn't coming back and Misao knew that, even if deep inside she didn't want to accept it. That day at the funeral, it was open casket. That was the last time she saw him, his deeply wrinkled face for the first time in a long time looked strangely placid in death. She remembered crying into Aoshi's strong chest, placing a white lily on Okina's chest and tears. That's all it was for a long time; just tears and brooding silence. Then Okina's possessions were divided amongst his family and she and Aoshi had inherited the house. She couldn't help but wonder why he'd leave it to her and Aoshi to share…
"Misao?"
She placed the picture back in its place of honour and lit a candle, leaving the scent of matches in the air. "Do you think he died in pain?"
Aoshi walked to her side and looked up at the knowing picture. "I don't know Misao. But I know that Okina would've only wanted to go out fighting."
Misao felt the sting of tears growing in her eyes and a hot constriction in her chest and sat down on the couch to shed her tears with a numb expression on her face. She'd gotten to used to crying that the emotional outbursts didn't come as much anymore.
Aoshi saw Misao through the reflection on the picture frame. It was the same scene last week…Misao's pain was stabbing at him. Every shrill wail echoed in his heart, breaking down his high barriers that were already cracked. He wanted to take away her pain and he wanted reassure too, He remembered sitting beside Misao embracing her warmly, even though it felt curiously awkward. Slowly her tears died down, but she was still drunk with anguish. She rested her head on his chest studying his features, gliding her fingers over his face resting them on his lips, so delicate and tender. Then without words they found their comfort in each other, a reassurance that consoled them for at least that night and ended with mixed feelings, troubled feelings on his part the following morning.
He was a good few years older than she. Memories of watching her grow up were still very vivid in his mind. He should feel ashamed and guilty the trouble was he didn't and that was a problem. Every time he saw Misao he felt that connection they shared now, a connection that should have ever existed, not on that level. He tried to control his thoughts and feelings. But this proved a more difficult task then expected. Aoshi never had feelings like this for anyone before; they ran wild and free and he didn't know how to deal with them. He imagined this was how pubescent teenagers felt during their younger years.
"Aoshi?"
Aoshi turned to her, putting his hands in his pockets just for good measure. She was looking up at him, her big midnight eyes red with tears.
"Yes Misao?"
"Do you regret…what happened between us?"
There was strange silence stretched out between them. Each passing silence confirmed Misao's worst fears. Her eyes started to flood and her chin quivered. Aoshi kept a steady gaze betraying no emotion. Misao quickly buried her head in a pillow, mortified and heartbroken. Aoshi couldn't look at her this way. Turning back to Okina's picture he prayed for a answer, a reason for all this madness.
"No."
Misao looked up from her pillow, a blank look on her face. "What?" she murmured.
"I don't regret it Misao," confessed Aoshi, his back still turned to her. "For a long time it was all I wanted. To be close to you, but..."
Then he felt Misao's arms wrap around him, her cheek resting against his back. The feeling was still surprising to him, yet not unfamiliar nor unpleasant. Looking up Okina, a man he'd failed to learn so much from was still trying to teach him now in death. Was this what he intended when he left the house to him and Misao? Did he know about the secret affections they both shared for each other?
"Aoshi," Misao said softly into his back. "You know I have no one else but you now."
Aoshi turned around and met eyes with Misao. They were the eyes of the woman she was looking back at him. A woman that wanted desperately to be with him, the only man she ever loved.
"I'm not going anywhere."
A/N: Kind of strange how this idea popped into my head, but I won't get into that now or ever. Hoped you all liked it, one of my few oneshots. Well liked to know what you thought of it so manners everyone andreview. Toodles!