Lost

Disclaimer: Not mine

Summary: See chapter 1

I'm What?

Olivia was released from the hospital the day after she woke from her coma. Elliot did as Huang told him, and took her home.

"This is our apartment." Elliot said as he opened the door to let Olivia in.

She walked in, and looked around; like it was the first time she had been there.

"It's nice." Olivia smiled.

"Well sure you think that." Elliot smiled. "You completely redecorated when you moved in."

"Oh, well, looks likeI have good taste." Olivia smiled.

She walked down the hall, and opened the first door she came to. It was Elizabeth's room. "Is this one of your daughter's rooms?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, it's Lizzie's." Elliot answered, walking over to join Olivia in the door way. He had told her all about his kids, and showed her pictures so that she could put a face to each name.

Olivia walked over to the room across the hall. She opened the door to find a blue, sports themed room. "Well, this must be your sons' room." She smiled.

"Yeah." Elliot answered. "You helped him put that snowboard up on the wall." He told her, pointing to the mounted sporting good.

"Well, good to know that I'm not an evil step mother or anything." Olivia smiled. Elliot joined her smile, until he noticed her facefall pale.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Olivia answered. Some things never change. "I think it's just the hospital food. I've had an upset stomach all morning."

A sudden thought swept over Elliot. Olivia was having morning sickness, but had no clue that she was pregnant. "You don't have to look into all the kids' rooms." Elliot said, trying to stop her from finding the nursery–in- progress at the end of the hall.

"No, I'm fine, really. I want to see them." She walked to Maureen and Kathleen's room and opened the door. "This must be… Maureen and… Kathleen's room, right?" Olivia asked, proud that she remembered the names.

"Yeah, hey, why don't I show you your room?" Elliot offered.

"There's still one more to see." Olivia answered. "What is it, a guest room or something?"

She walked over to the door, and opened it. She stood, a little confused at what she saw.

In front of her was a bare room. It only had primer on the walls. There was a white basinet in the middle of the room, and a white crib still in pieces standing against one of the walls. There was a box containing a changing table under the window, and a pale yellow rocking chair in the corner.

"What is this?" Olivia asked finally, and quietly.

"Liv..." Elliot began, not knowing what he was going to tell her. "Olivia, I think you should sit down." He managed. Olivia allowed him to lead her into the living room, and onto the sofa.

"Why is there a baby's room in the apartment?" Olivia asked slowly.

"Liv, now, I know that I should have told you when you woke up, but Huang was afraid that it might be too much for you to handle." Elliot began.

"What would be too much for me to handle?" Olivia asked cautiously.

"Liv, I don't know how to tell you this, so I'll just say it. You're 3 months pregnant." Elliot finally revealed.

Olivia could feel the sting of tears in her eyes. It was something that she now knew all too well.

"I'm what?" She asked in disbelief.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Was all Elliot could think to say.

Olivia just stared at the floor. She placed her hand on her stomach, and let the tears in her eyes slowly fall. "You mean to tell me, that I have a baby inside of me, our baby?" Olivia asked.

Elliot nodded his head.

"I can't even remember that." Olivia said in frustration. "I need to be alone." She said, once again pushing Elliot's hands away, when they only tried to comfort her.

"Where's my bedroom?" She asked.

"Down the hall on the right." Elliot pointed. He was hurt that Olivia was pushing him away, but knew that he had to give her the space she needed to get better.

"Olivia." Elliot called softly as he knocked on the bedroom door about three hours later. "Liv, I made dinner."

"I'm not all that hungry." Olivia said. Elliot knew that she was frustrated.

"I know, but sweetie, you need to eat." He said, opening the door a little.

Olivia opened it the rest of the way. "Okay." She said through a tear stained face. "And Elliot, I don't mean to be hurtful, but please, could you just call me Olivia, at least for now?" She asked, passing him and going to the table.

"Yeah sure." Elliot answered, trying to mask his hurt. He kept telling himself that he needed to help her get better, no matter what it did to him.

"Smells good." Olivia smiled.

"Well it should, it's your favorite." Elliot said.

"Oh, well than, that explains it." Olivia said her face dropping. Elliot could tell that she was getting more and more frustrated at each memory she failed to find.

"It's okay Liv; just give it time, you'll remember soon enough." He comforted.

Olivia took her seat, and picked at her lasagna. She really didn't have much of an appetite. She had too much on her mind. There was a baby growing inside of her, and she couldn't remember how it got there. How could she be a mother to a child that she didn't even know if she wanted?

Olivia was pushing her food around with her fork when Elliot noticed that she was no longer wearing her wedding rings. Olivia felt his eyes on her, and looked up at him.

"What?" She asked hesitantly.

"You took off your rings." Elliot said quietly.

"Oh." Olivia answered. "Look, it's nothing personal or anything. It's just that, it didn't feel right wearing a ring that symbolizes eternal love for a man I don't even know. Is that okay with you?" She asked.

"Yeah, yeah it's fine." Elliot lied, trying to hide his hurt. He wasn't sure if he was more hurt that she didn't have the rings on, or that she hadn't noticed how it made him feel. The old Olivia could always read his emotions. "You have to eat Olivia." Elliot pushed, changing the subject.

"I know, I, I'm just not very hungry." Olivia sighed.

"For the baby Olivia." Elliot urged.

Olivia just shook her head. "The baby I know nothing about you mean?" She asked in a mocking tone.

"Hey Olivia." Elliot began. He got out of his seat, and knelt down in front of her. He took her hands in her lap. "You're not alone in that one. We only found out that you were pregnant a month ago. No one knows a whole hell of a lot about this kid." He smiled.

Olivia's eyes lit up a little. At least she wasn't the only one in the dark about his one. "Well, am I having a girl or a boy?" Olivia asked with a small smile.

"We don't know yet Liv. You have the sonogram to tell tomorrow; if you still wanna go that is." Elliot answered truthfully.

"I do." Olivia answered. "At least that way I'll know something that everyone else knows." She smiled. "It's just so hard, ya know?" She asked, switching gears.

"What is?" Elliot asked.

"Standing on the sidelines of my own life." She answered, looking him in the eyes. "I can look at all the pictures, and listen to all the stories I want, but it's like looking through another person's past. I just want to remember Elliot." She pleaded.

"You will, Liv, you will." Elliot whispered. Inside he had no idea if his Olivia would ever be the same again, but he couldn't let her know that.

"Yeah, well, right now, I just want to go to bed." Olivia sighed, pushing herself out of the chair. "Would you be terribly hurt if I just slept on the couch tonight?" She asked meekly.

"No way Liv. You are not sleeping on the couch in your own home." Elliot demanded.

"But Elliot, I just, I'm comfortable with sharing…" Olivia began, but was cut off by Elliot.

"That's fine Liv, and I didn't expect you to sleep in a bed with me tonight. I mean, technically we just met two days ago. I'll sleep in one of the kid's rooms tonight. You take the bedroom." Elliot soothed.

"Thank you." She answered quietly. She made her way to the unfamiliar bedroom, and began looking of pajamas.

In the third drawer she looked through she finally found something to sleep in. She changed into the sweat pants and tank top she found, and got into the bed.

It was easy for Olivia to fall asleep that night. She was so tired, partly due to the frustration she had been feeling all day, and partly due to her head injury. She was glad to sleep; when she slept she wasn't straining to recall her lost past. Sleep was peaceful to her, and that's what she needed.

Elliot cleaned the dinner dishes while Olivia rummaged for pajamas and got into bed. He remembered a time when he and Olivia would clean the dishes together. Usually she would wash, and he would dry. Even at home they couldn't share the partner ship that hey had at work. The normally boring chore never ceased to turn into something crazy. Elliot would either snap his towel at her, or Olivia would spray him with the hose attachment. Elliot smiled at the memory. He had taken all those moments for granted in the past. He wished he could escape back to them now.

He finished the dishes, and just left them to drip dry in the drain board. He went into Dickey's room, and unbuttoned his shirt. This was going to be his room until Olivia let him back in.

He crawled under the covers of his 13 year olds bed in his boxers. He lay alone in the dark, with the covers pulled tight.

His thoughts drifted to Olivia in the other room. He knew that she was upset, and scared. He wanted to hold her in his arms; to tell that she was going to be okay, and to make everything better. He wanted to take her hurt away, but he couldn't. The only person who could help her now was her. She needed to work to regain her memory. He knew that she could do it; Olivia was the strongest person he knew, he just wished that she didn't have to do it alone.

Elliot rolled over in the small bed carefully. This was a twin, and he was use to a king. He finally allowed his eyes to shut, and sleep to overtake him. At least in his dreams he could hold his wife again.

TBC... tell me what you think