Part Four
Alyson was sitting in the library, so it was Saturday and nobody would really be there. But she couldn't stand being at home anymore. Being there alone was getting to be too much for her. And though there weren't that many people here, it was more than what she had at home.
Things were going well with Dawn. It had been a couple weeks since the concert. Though lately Dawn had been acting strange. Suddenly she didn't want to spend so much time with Alyson as she did before. Now Alyson was spending more time at music lessons and other things while Dawn stayed at home.
At the concert Dawn seemed perfectly happy. Everything went smoothly and Alyson ending up getting a standing ovation from the crowd. But it was a few days later that Dawn started turning. Alyson asked several times what was wrong and what she could do to help but Dawn denied her everything.
They were both in need of some time away from each other. It had been three days since they last spoke, when would time be up? She tried calling the Summers' house more than a few time to get a hold of Dawn but she was always out or too busy to talk. The last phone call she made she sent a message by Tara.
"Just tell her that I love her and whatever it is that's bothering her, even if I caused it, I'm still here for her." Alyson said sadly into the phone. Tara wanted to cry when she heard that.
But she never got a phone call back. So Dawn must have been really mad at her. What did she do to Dawn to deserve this kind of treatment? Even at school Dawn was cold and unsociable with her. So Alyson left things alone. She didn't try to bother Dawn or call her anymore. They passed each other in the hall and Alyson turned the other way. If Dawn was hell bent on breaking her heart, then Alyson would do it back.
"Might as well get some work done." Alyson said to herself. She got up and left down the aisles to get a book.
Meanwhile, Dawn, Willow, Tara, and Buffy entered the library. They took the same seat that Dawn and Alyson use to sit at. Dawn noticed some books on the table that she had first seen Alyson at. But the owner wasn't there.
"Its been a long time since I've been to the library." Buffy looked around.
"So Dawn, where's your girlfriend at?" Some cheerleader said in a snotty voice. "Thought you two dykes went everywhere together." She grinned and shot a smile at her friends who were laughing. Alyson came from around the corner. She saw the girl talking to Dawn and caught a piece of the conversation.
Dawn tried to ignore her. But Buffy was about to say something to the girl. Alyson came walking by and reached out her hand to catch the girl by the throat. In one fell swoop, Alyson had grabbed the girl by the throat and shoved her up against the book shelf. She tightly held the girl against the bookshelf.
The girl was choking for air but Alyson just pressed harder.
"Don't talk to her like that ever again. As a matter of fact, don't talk to anybody like that ever again." Alyson said through clenched teeth. "Do you understand?" The girl couldn't speak and she didn't try to. With every word that Alyson spoke next she pushed harder at the girl's throat. "Do." Push. "You." Push. "Under.." Push. "Stand?" She nodded quickly and Alyson let go.
The girl fell to the ground gasping for air. She held on to her throat.
"You're nothing but a whore and a dyke." She spat out. Alyson had her back to the girl. She was grabbing her books trying to ignore the girl. "Slut. Dyke. Whore. Tramp. You know that you've fucked every guy and girl in the school. Everybody knows that you've been through rehab for drugs and that you use to slice your arms in the bathroom." She taunted. Alyson felt rooted to the floor. Tears welled up in her eyes.
"Hey! That's enough!" Buffy stood up in the girl's face.
"Oh what? Is she fucking you too?"
"Ginger Lopez! That is enough out of you!" The librarian drug the girl away.
Dawn sat in her seat watching Alyson. She hadn't moved yet. But then suddenly she grabbed her things and took off out the door. Dawn was tempted to run after her but she couldn't.
"Melinda, have you seen Alyson?" Dawn questioned. It had been a week since the library incident with Ginger. Alyson had been out of school the whole week. Melinda shook her head. Dawn was starting to worry about the girl. If what Ginger said was true then something terrible could have happened.
The girls had decided to spend another day at the library. Dawn sort of hoped she would run into Alyson so that she would feel better about what happened between them. Things needed to be patched up.
Dawn looked around the room for Alyson.
"Its not that I don't trust you, I just worry about you. Alyson!" A male called out to her but she didn't stop. She kept on walking by and took her seat at the table. "Ally, are you alright?" He came up to her.
"Look you've made it perfectly clear that you don't trust me so you can kindly walk away for now. I have work to do." She whispered harshly. She got up and left down an aisle. Dawn went after her to see what was wrong.
"Alyson what's wrong?" She said in a loving voice.
"Everything and then some." She didn't hang around. Alyson had on a long sleeve shirt but the right sleeve was pulled up a bit. Dawn caught sight of a large white patch on her wrist.
"What the hell happened?" Dawn grabbed Alyson's arm and pulled up the sleeve. There were cuts all over her arm. She jerked it back quickly.
"Nothing. I'm busy right now." She walked backed her seat with Dawn on her heels.
"Alyson what happened to your wrist?" Willow, Tara and Buffy looked at the two girls.
"I slit it okay? I went home last week after that with Ginger and slit my wrist. Are you happy now?" Tears hung in her eyes. She sat down, hiding her face from everybody else. "What they say about me is true. All the rumors about me being in rehab and cutting myself is true. I'm not fit to be around people. I'm just a lighting rod for pain." Alyson grabbed her things and left for her car.
Dawn ran out in the parking lot to stop her. "Wait! Don't go!"
"Why shouldn't I?" She stopped to face Dawn.
"Because I love you, you idiot!" Dawn yelled out.
"Then why have you been avoiding me lately?"
"I got scared okay? Being with a girl is something that I've never done before and it scares me sometimes. I'm so sorry that I hurt you okay? I'll never do it again." Dawn took Alyson's hands within hers.
"No, no, don't make promises that you can never be sure of. You never know when you might hurt me so don't say never." She pulled Dawn close to her to give the girl a hug.
"You'll forgive me then?" Dawn said into Alyson's chest. There was sorrow in her voice.
"If it means that I get you back then yes I'll forgive you." Alyson pulled back and looked her in the eyes. "I think that we need to sit down and talk this all out and get all the insecurities and pain of the past out of the way so that we can get to loving each other completely."