Lost
Disclaimer: They're not mine
Summary: See chapter 1
A Fleeting Moment
Huang lead Olivia into the dark, cold interrogation room. She looked around, and took it all in.
There was a steel table in the middle of the room under a dim light. At each side two chairs were resting silently. The room was made of cinder block, and, besides the dim ceiling light, the only other light coming into the room came from a small window. Olivia turned to see what was behind her. All she found was more cold cinderblock, and a two way mirror.
"So, this is where it happened?" Olivia asked.
"Yes." Huang replied.
He and Olivia were alone in the room. Elliot was standing with Cragen behind the two way mirror to watch for any progress.
"I want you to sit here Olivia." Huang instructed, pulling out one of the chairs for her.
Olivia did as she was told. Huang sat in the seat on the opposite side of the table.
"Does this room trigger anything?" Huang asked. "Are you feeling anything, can you see anything?" He asked.
Olivia sat for a moment in silence. She looked around the room, trying desperately to make something be familiar.
"Nothing." She finally said her head down cast. "What happened to me?" She asked, lifting her head so that George could see the tears in her eyes.
"You were sitting in that chair interrogating a suspect. He was sitting where I am, and his lawyer was sitting next to him." George began. "You told him that his mother felt he was useless, and he snapped. He jumped over the table, and threw you up against the mirror. He slammed your head into the glass until you passed out. Do you remember any of it?" He asked.
Olivia tried, but it was if she was hearing the events for the first time. "I'm sorry, but there's nothing." She breathed, trying to keep her tears in.
"It's alright. Listen, we'll try something else." George comforted, sensing that Olivia was getting upset at the whole situation. "I want to try showing you pictures of the man who did this, that may jar something. We can also try playing sounds from your past, or having you smell things that should be familiar to you.Smell is the strongest scent tied to memory." He disclosed. "I also want to do more with drawings. We'll get somewhere Liv; it just may take some time." He finished, getting out of his chair and kneeling down to her level. "We'll get you back, I promise."
"Don't make promises you can't keep doctor." Olivia sighed.
Huang got up form his position. "We can start now." He offered.
"Okay." Olivia said, forcing a smile. "I just need some air first."
"Alright, I'll be upstairs when ever you're ready." Huang said.
Olivia smiled, and showed herself out of the room. "Is there somewhere I can go to get some air?" She asked Cragen.
"If you take the stairs at the end of the hall up, you'll hit the roof. It's a good place to go to clear your mind." He told her.
She nodded with a smile, and made her way to the stairs.
"I thought that would work." Cragen sighed as Huang exited the room.
"So did I." George answered.
"So why didn't it?" Elliot asked, growing increasingly more frustrated with each failed attempt to help Olivia.
"In moments of extreme fear, the brain shuts down. After the event it over, it shuts the memory out to prevent that fear from representing itself in the memories of the event." George began. "In Olivia's case, the brain shut out the memory, but after being hit so hard, it was jarred, and just shut everything out. It's not helping that, subconsciously, Olivia doesn't want to remember the attack." George finished.
"What are you talking about Huang? I talked to her, trust me she wants to remember." Elliot protested.
"Yes, she does, in her conscious mind. But her subconscious mind doesn't want to relive the fear of the moment." George explained.
"But Doc, Liv's been in worse situations before. Why did she choose this one to block out?" Cragen asked.
"Because, this time she didn't only fear for her own life. She was afraid that Brent was going to hurt the baby." Huang revealed. "Olivia's never been in a situation where her child's life was in danger."
"But he didn't even go for the baby." Elliot answered.
"But Olivia didn't know that." George answered.
"Well, if she won't relive the attack, what are we suppose to do to get her memory back?" Cragen asked.
"Well, I'll have to try other methods; try to unlock some other memory, and try to stem off of that. The good news is that usually once one memory is regained, the others come back relatively quickly. We just have to get that one." Huang answered.
"I'm gonna go check on her." Elliot said suddenly. He was finished hearing this conversation. He was tired of all the failed attempts, and just wanted his wife back.
Elliot made his way up to the roof. He spotted Olivia sitting against a wall, staring out at the city before her. She had her legs pulled close to her, and tears in her eyes.
"You alright?" He asked from the door leading to the roof.
Olivia turned to the voice. It was then that Elliot noticed the tear stains on her face.
"No." She answered honestly. "I'm not alright. In fact, I think that I'm about as far from alright as one can be."
Elliot walked over to her, and sat down next to her.
"Do you know how frustrating this is for me Elliot?" She asked her voice cracking. "I thought that once I walked into that room that would be it; that I would remember. Why didn't it work?" She asked in a tone pleading an answer.
"I don't know baby, uh, I mean Olivia." Elliot said, catching himself. "All I know is that eventually, something will work." He said, smoothing Olivia's hair behind her ear.
"How do you know?" She asked.
"Because Olivia, it has to." He sighed.
"I just can't do it anymore Elliot." She said through now gently flowing tears. "I mean, I woke up two days ago, and all of a sudden I was married with four step children, and pregnant. I look at you, and I can see all the love in the world in your eyes, but it means nothing to me." She continued; her words stinging Elliot a little. "I look at pictures of my life, and it's like looking through someone else's memories. Do you know how hard it is to look in the mirror, and to not recognize your own reflection? To not know who you are?" she asked.
Olivia was too tired to care about the fact that she barely knew the man who was sitting next to her. She was falling, and needed someone to catch her, and he was there. She let herself openly sob, and leaned into Elliot's chest. She let him wrap his arms around her protectively.
"I just can't do it anymore." She sobbed.
"Shhh. It's okay." He soothed, rubbing her back tenderly. "Everything's going to be fine."
"Why are you doing all of this?" Olivia asked, raising her head to meet Elliot's gaze with her own.
"Doing what?" Elliot asked softly.
"This." She answered. "Why are you sticking by me like this? I mean, I look at you, and I can't remember a thing. All I've been doing since I woke up in the hospital is cry, yet you have sat with me through every tear. You don't have to put up with all of this. You could have just left from the beginning, it's not like I would have realized anything was wrong." She said with a forced smile.
"I'm doing it because I love you Olivia. And because I know that you wouldhave done the same for me if I was in your place." Elliot soothed. "On our wedding day I promised you for better or worse. This is just the worse. Olivia, I will never leave you alone to fend for yourself." He finished.
"Never is a promise that no one intends to keep." She sighed.
Elliot looked at her confused.
"I'm just saying that forever is a long time to stay with someone who doesn't feel anything but grief." Olivia sighed.
"Well, I just happened to fall in love with that grief stricken person. And I would rather spend forever trying to make her smile, than one day with anyone else." Elliot answered.
"I can see why I loved you so much." Olivia answered. "I can't believe that I could forget anyone like you."
Olivia leaned closer into Elliot's arms. There was something that seemed to be drawing her closer to him. She closed her eyes as her face got closer to his. She was about to let go, and allow their lips to meet when Elliot's watch beeped, and made them both jump, and pull apart.
"That means we need to get going to the doctor's appointment." Olivia sighed.
"Thedoctorcan wait a minute." Elliot whispered, not moving his face away from her.
"No, she can't." Olivia answered. "I'm sorry Elliot, but I just can't." She said, raising herself off the ground, and heading back into the building.
Elliot sighed in disappointment. He thought that she was making a breakthrough, but it turned out to be nothing more than a fleeting moment.
He got up, and followed his wife down to the car.
TBC... I just love giving a little, and then pulling it away! (lol!) Keep reading and reviewing!