"Who said I was strong?" Clark repeated himself.
"I?" Martha hadn't even realized she had said strong, "Clark, don't worry I won't tell anyone about you're abilities."
"You knew though." Clark was very good at reading people's body language, to see what they wouldn't say. When Martha didn't deny prior knowledge of his abilities, Clark continued, "how?"
"Clark?" Martha couldn't answer him.
"Lana told you." Martha could see a look of betrayal in his eyes.
"No!" Clark believed her. "I? I?" Martha had to make a big decision. "Clark, we all have our secrets."
Clark could see Martha's eyes were pleading with him to just back off, but why should he make things easier on her, after her and her husband made things so much harder on him and Lana, "And your secret is knowing mine?"
"I?" Martha was getting trapped, just lie, she thought, but she couldn't, not while looking at his confused face, begging for answers, "yes."
"When did you see me use my abilities?" Clark was mentally kicking himself; he had tried to be so careful his whole life, afraid of exposure.
"When you were little." Martha said honestly, relieved that Clark assumed the 'how' part already.
"So that is why you guys hate me so much, isn't it?" Clark said.
Martha couldn't bear the mixed look of pain and anger on Clark's face and in his voice.
"No, of course not." Martha said.
"Sure." Clark said sarcastically.
"No?Clark?" Martha need to give him some other explanation, "It's not even because of you."
"You can just admit you don't want Lana being friends with a freak!" Clark said the word 'freak' with such pain and anger.
"No? it's not you!" Martha owed him this one explanation; at least, "It's because of your father."
Clark suddenly got a horrible thought. If Lionel had known, that they knew his secret, he would have silenced them, and Clark was well aware of how he did that. But he still felt intense anger towards the Kents, "What did he ever do to you?"
"Does it really even matter Clark?" Martha asked.
"Yes, because Lana is my best friend, and you hate me, and you are making life so hard for her because of that fact." Clark said bitterly.
"Clark, I honestly think you don't even want to know yourself, but if you do, you'll ask your father." Martha was happy with her answer.
"He isn't evil like you think." Clark wanted desperately to have Martha on his side, he didn't even know why; maybe he felt she was the key to his relationship with Lana.
Martha felt like this might be the only chance she got to know the answer to a question that haunted her for so many years, and without the that answer she could never truly move on, "Are you happy, Clark?" tears filled her eyes.
Clark was caught off guard by her question and her tears, "I donno, I guess. Why would you ask me that?"
"Is he cruel to you?" Martha said referring to Lionel.
"What? He is my father." Clark assumed that gave her the instinctive no, that was in his mind. Why did she care anyways?
"I just need to know that you were treated right. That you are happy." Martha needed a real answer from him.
"Why? You don't even know me." Clark said in a rather confused voice.
"You're right. I don't know you." Martha said in a pained voice.
"What's with you? One day you hate me, and the next day you actually care if I'm happy or not? If you really did, you'd stop forbidding me to see Lana." Clark said pissed off.
"I have, I ?we're not trying to hurt you." Martha was disappointed that she obviously wasn't going to get her answer.
"Whatever, I don't know what kind of game you are trying to play here, with this? this friendly act, but you can't stop me from being friends with Lana." Clark said directly.
"I'm not trying to play any games?" Martha sighed, the thought that Clark assumed any stranger being nice to him just wanted something from him, hurt her. Is that how he went through life? Second guessing everyone's intentions, and justified in doing so? "Clark, thank you for saving my life." Martha turned to leave, letting her tears fall faster.
"Lana, your Mom has known about my abilities since I was a little kid!" Clark said in a nervous tone.
"What?" Lana said feeling extreme anxiety. Thoughts raced threw her head so fast, Clark knew everything; he hated her; he would never speak to her again?
"I was just as shocked as you!" Clark said sitting down next to her.
"How did you know that?" Lana said wishing she could just erase all her memories just to avoid this conversation.
"I just found out! I had to tell you! Your mom was in the road and I had to use my abilities to save her, or else she would have been run over, don't worry she is okay." Clark read Lana expression of fear, "she wasn't freaked out at all. She said she has known since I was a little kid. She saw me so do something. Can you believe that!" Clark said trying to believe it himself.
"Yes." Lana whispered.
"Did you know?" Clark felt uneasy.
"Ya?" Lana's lower lip quivered. She couldn't lie to Clark.
"How come you didn't tell me?" Clark asked calmly, knowing Lana would have a perfect explanation, because it was Lana, who he completely trusted.
"They asked me not to? and I didn't know how to explain?I found out 2 weeks ago." Lana felt her eyes sting with tears, no, she thought, don't cry, "Please don't hate me."
"Lana?" Clark said embracing her, "I could never hate you. Don't cry." He wiped a few tears off her cheek.
"Clark?" Lana's voice wavered from crying, "I'm sorry?"
Clark could feel Lana's body shake with each sob she took, "Lana, it's okay. It doesn't matter. I understand." Clark really didn't understand. He didn't understand why she couldn't tell him, he didn't understand why they had just told her about him, and most of all he didn't understand why she was so upset.
It was 3 in the morning and Clark was sitting outside on the steps, thinking about everything, confused, depressed, and scared of the answers.
Clark heard footsteps and the door slam shut. Lionel came out and sat on the porch next to Clark; and in a sympathetic tone said, "Clark, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." Clark lied.
"You've been sitting here for over two hours. What's going on with you lately?" Lionel asked.
"I don't know! I just? everybody keeps telling me things, like hidden warnings?" Clark could tell his Dad anything. "I don't know why it's bothering me so much? except maybe? it's all adding up to something I don't like."
"And what is that?" Lionel asked.
"That you are keeping something from me." Clark looked his father straight in the eyes, "Something big."
"Clark, what are you talking about?" Lionel tensed up a little bit.
"I donno, I was hoping you could tell me." Clark sighed, "What is the secret behind my adoption? What connection is there between them knowing about my abilities and hating you? Why would you pick me of all kids to adopt?" and then to himself he whispered, "Why does Martha Kent care if I'm happy?"
"Clark... I'll tell you, but you have to know I kept this all from you, to spare you the pain. Knowing wouldn't have made any difference, and you never needed to know. But I would never lie to you." Lionel took a deep breath as he started into his son's eyes.
"I?" Martha hadn't even realized she had said strong, "Clark, don't worry I won't tell anyone about you're abilities."
"You knew though." Clark was very good at reading people's body language, to see what they wouldn't say. When Martha didn't deny prior knowledge of his abilities, Clark continued, "how?"
"Clark?" Martha couldn't answer him.
"Lana told you." Martha could see a look of betrayal in his eyes.
"No!" Clark believed her. "I? I?" Martha had to make a big decision. "Clark, we all have our secrets."
Clark could see Martha's eyes were pleading with him to just back off, but why should he make things easier on her, after her and her husband made things so much harder on him and Lana, "And your secret is knowing mine?"
"I?" Martha was getting trapped, just lie, she thought, but she couldn't, not while looking at his confused face, begging for answers, "yes."
"When did you see me use my abilities?" Clark was mentally kicking himself; he had tried to be so careful his whole life, afraid of exposure.
"When you were little." Martha said honestly, relieved that Clark assumed the 'how' part already.
"So that is why you guys hate me so much, isn't it?" Clark said.
Martha couldn't bear the mixed look of pain and anger on Clark's face and in his voice.
"No, of course not." Martha said.
"Sure." Clark said sarcastically.
"No?Clark?" Martha need to give him some other explanation, "It's not even because of you."
"You can just admit you don't want Lana being friends with a freak!" Clark said the word 'freak' with such pain and anger.
"No? it's not you!" Martha owed him this one explanation; at least, "It's because of your father."
Clark suddenly got a horrible thought. If Lionel had known, that they knew his secret, he would have silenced them, and Clark was well aware of how he did that. But he still felt intense anger towards the Kents, "What did he ever do to you?"
"Does it really even matter Clark?" Martha asked.
"Yes, because Lana is my best friend, and you hate me, and you are making life so hard for her because of that fact." Clark said bitterly.
"Clark, I honestly think you don't even want to know yourself, but if you do, you'll ask your father." Martha was happy with her answer.
"He isn't evil like you think." Clark wanted desperately to have Martha on his side, he didn't even know why; maybe he felt she was the key to his relationship with Lana.
Martha felt like this might be the only chance she got to know the answer to a question that haunted her for so many years, and without the that answer she could never truly move on, "Are you happy, Clark?" tears filled her eyes.
Clark was caught off guard by her question and her tears, "I donno, I guess. Why would you ask me that?"
"Is he cruel to you?" Martha said referring to Lionel.
"What? He is my father." Clark assumed that gave her the instinctive no, that was in his mind. Why did she care anyways?
"I just need to know that you were treated right. That you are happy." Martha needed a real answer from him.
"Why? You don't even know me." Clark said in a rather confused voice.
"You're right. I don't know you." Martha said in a pained voice.
"What's with you? One day you hate me, and the next day you actually care if I'm happy or not? If you really did, you'd stop forbidding me to see Lana." Clark said pissed off.
"I have, I ?we're not trying to hurt you." Martha was disappointed that she obviously wasn't going to get her answer.
"Whatever, I don't know what kind of game you are trying to play here, with this? this friendly act, but you can't stop me from being friends with Lana." Clark said directly.
"I'm not trying to play any games?" Martha sighed, the thought that Clark assumed any stranger being nice to him just wanted something from him, hurt her. Is that how he went through life? Second guessing everyone's intentions, and justified in doing so? "Clark, thank you for saving my life." Martha turned to leave, letting her tears fall faster.
"Lana, your Mom has known about my abilities since I was a little kid!" Clark said in a nervous tone.
"What?" Lana said feeling extreme anxiety. Thoughts raced threw her head so fast, Clark knew everything; he hated her; he would never speak to her again?
"I was just as shocked as you!" Clark said sitting down next to her.
"How did you know that?" Lana said wishing she could just erase all her memories just to avoid this conversation.
"I just found out! I had to tell you! Your mom was in the road and I had to use my abilities to save her, or else she would have been run over, don't worry she is okay." Clark read Lana expression of fear, "she wasn't freaked out at all. She said she has known since I was a little kid. She saw me so do something. Can you believe that!" Clark said trying to believe it himself.
"Yes." Lana whispered.
"Did you know?" Clark felt uneasy.
"Ya?" Lana's lower lip quivered. She couldn't lie to Clark.
"How come you didn't tell me?" Clark asked calmly, knowing Lana would have a perfect explanation, because it was Lana, who he completely trusted.
"They asked me not to? and I didn't know how to explain?I found out 2 weeks ago." Lana felt her eyes sting with tears, no, she thought, don't cry, "Please don't hate me."
"Lana?" Clark said embracing her, "I could never hate you. Don't cry." He wiped a few tears off her cheek.
"Clark?" Lana's voice wavered from crying, "I'm sorry?"
Clark could feel Lana's body shake with each sob she took, "Lana, it's okay. It doesn't matter. I understand." Clark really didn't understand. He didn't understand why she couldn't tell him, he didn't understand why they had just told her about him, and most of all he didn't understand why she was so upset.
It was 3 in the morning and Clark was sitting outside on the steps, thinking about everything, confused, depressed, and scared of the answers.
Clark heard footsteps and the door slam shut. Lionel came out and sat on the porch next to Clark; and in a sympathetic tone said, "Clark, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." Clark lied.
"You've been sitting here for over two hours. What's going on with you lately?" Lionel asked.
"I don't know! I just? everybody keeps telling me things, like hidden warnings?" Clark could tell his Dad anything. "I don't know why it's bothering me so much? except maybe? it's all adding up to something I don't like."
"And what is that?" Lionel asked.
"That you are keeping something from me." Clark looked his father straight in the eyes, "Something big."
"Clark, what are you talking about?" Lionel tensed up a little bit.
"I donno, I was hoping you could tell me." Clark sighed, "What is the secret behind my adoption? What connection is there between them knowing about my abilities and hating you? Why would you pick me of all kids to adopt?" and then to himself he whispered, "Why does Martha Kent care if I'm happy?"
"Clark... I'll tell you, but you have to know I kept this all from you, to spare you the pain. Knowing wouldn't have made any difference, and you never needed to know. But I would never lie to you." Lionel took a deep breath as he started into his son's eyes.