Runaway
The sun is setting now, and neither of us have said anything. I don't want to break the silence, Riku seems so deep in thought, and I don't now what I'm supposed to say to to think of it, it did feel good when his body was pressed against mine...maybe he'll do it again... NO! What am I supposed to do? Say "Oh, Riku! Touch me!"? He'll think I'm retarded...okay, I need to get my mind off him.
It's gotten dark out now, and my eyes aren't used to the pitch dark yet; so I'm sticking real close to Riku. A few times I've bumped into him, or gotten "too close to him" and he'll start walking faster. I wonder how late it is now, I put my watch in my pocket, along with my map, and I'm too tired to get them.
"We should probably find some good place to get some rest for the night." says Riku. Thank goodness!
"Okay," I reply and yawn.
Once we find a nice a good place I collapse on the ground, I'm tired and I don't care if it's slightly uncomfortable. Riku lies down right next to me, back facing me. I'm sure he won't mind if I scoot a bit closer to him... He turns his head slightly to look at me for a few seconds and then just goes to sleep. And so do I...
The next morning, I wake up when the sun's rising again. I see that Riku's awake, too, and it looks like he's been up for a while. He's staring at sky, obviously lost in thought. I wonder what he's always thinking about?
Somewhere in the back of my head a voice is saying 'Maybe he's thinking about you!' but, Riku's not like that. Is he? I walk toward him (he moved a bit further than from where I was sleeping) and put my hand on his shoulder, which he quickly shakes off.
"What were you thinking about?" I ask
"Nothing that concerns you." He says, slightly bitterly.
"Fine, sorry."
"Come on." Riku says standing up.
"Now?" I ask "Can we rest a little more?"
He shakes his head.
"Okay, I'm coming." I say, grabbing my things and then catching back up with him. "Riku, I had a weird dream last night." I know he probably doesn't care, but I feel like this is important. "It was about my dad, and I think I know where he is know! I know where I want to go now!"
"Oh really?" He says, not a spark of interest in his voice. I don't want to tell him about my more vivid dream about him or rather us, I start blushing just thinking about it. What would he think of me then? I sigh rather loudly, why is this so hard? I know I can't be in love with him! We're boys. And he doesn't like me. Not in that way, not in anyway. AND I DON'T CARE.
... Though I keep telling myself that, though I keep trying to convince myself I don't care if he doesn't love me...I'm lying, aren't I? It hurts so bad. I know we've only known each other for two days, but can you blame me?
"Riku?" I ask, he looks at me and I think I'm blushing a bit "Nevermind..." Riku mutters something under his breath and ignores me for the next few hours.
Soon we get to another town, still pretty empty. More open stores and houses, but it still feels eerie. Riku talks to me more, which still isn't much, but it's progress. And when he talks to me, he isn't AS rude. It's been almost a week since I left home. I'm sure no one even knows I'm gone.
"Hey, Riku," I ask again, I won't chicken out this time "What do you think about guys...liking other guys?" He doesn't say anything... Is he suspicious? "Riku?" He just looks at me for a few seconds and shrugs his shoulders. "Do you thinks it's gross... or wrong?" Maybe I'll get a real answer this time.
"...I don't know." He says quietly. I don't understand him, is he upset with me?
In other news, I don't feel any pain from my bruises anymore, most of them have cleared up. And I can walk longer without having to rest, so that's pretty good.
"Riku," I ask "Where are we now?" He keeps walking and doesn't reply. "Are you mad at me?" Riku just shakes his head. "Are you ever going to talk to me again?" I ask, annoyed. He shrugs "Maybe." Is all he says. Ugh.
Nothing happened at all today. The sun just set, and when we sleep I try to get close to Riku without him realizing I'm trying to do so. Tonight I fall asleep before he does...
I wake up again in the middle of the night, Riku's already fallen asleep, and he's not facing me. His skin is so pale it looks like he's dead. I poke him a few times and he rolls around. Now that he's facing me I can see his chest rising and falling when he breathes. I reach out to toy with his hair a little before I wake him up, I'd have so much explaining to do if he caught me. Heh.
-
Even about a week later,everything stays the same. We walk in silence and sometimes I ask Riku questions that he never answers. Everyday my stupid crush on him gets bigger, I wish I didn't like him! I groan.
"Hey, you okay back there?" Riku asks, by the tone of his voice it sounds like he's almost criticizing me somehow.
"Fine," I reply weakly. I'm not fine.
I don't need as much rest anymore, for I few days I'd been getting a good, long night's sleep. But now I wake up after I have dreams about Riku. "Riku..." I say quietly. Riku looks at me oddly, I think he heard me.
A few hours later we rest, then hours later we'll go to sleep. Then the day repeats. Sometimes we'll get to another town if we go faster than usual. Riku is still a complete mystery to me. He'll talk to me a bit more, but we never really talk, like have a real conversation. And he doesn't sound as cold when he talks to me, but he's anything but friendly.
Nothing happened all day, once again. The sun is setting again and finally Riku talks "What's wrong with you?" He asks. What's wrong with me? What wrong with me! He continues "You've been acting like a sick puppy since about two or three days ago..." Sick! Maybe lovesick! He doesn't know how I feel!... How could he?
"I'm fine." I reply "Really, I-I haven't been getting much sleep...that's all..." He nods, he stops and waits for me to catch up with him again. When I do he reaches into my pocket. I think my brain stopped working, his hand rubbed against my hip several times, and he pulls out my map and unfolds it. When he's done looking at it, he throws it at me.
"Come on, the sun's already set, we should get some sleep." He says. I can only nod slightly, I know he'll see me blushing even in the pitch black.
Once we get settled I fall asleep before him again, and then wake up after a strange dream. This time, though I know he wakes up somewhat easily, and it's risky, I put my arms around Riku's neck and dig my face in his back.. ...It feels really good, I wonder if he'll ever let me touch him when he's NOT sleeping. That sounded perverted didn't it? I sigh again before falling back asleep, still close that our bodies are almost touching.
It's another afternoon of walking in silence, I don't want to talk to him because a know I'll say something stupid. I have a strange feeling he's mad over something that I did, he's been extra quiet and won't even look at me anymore. ...Or maybe he's avoiding me because he feels the same way? No, that's not it, I did something wrong.
I don't know how long we've been walking anymore. For some reason today it seems like forever, maybe it's the awkward silence that makes it seem like Riku's not even here? I fall behind again, but Riku doesn't even tell me to hurry up like usual.
"Riku?" I ask quietly "Are you okay?" No answer, so I try again "Did I do something wrong?" Nothing, not even a nod. I sigh again. What did I do! Why does Riku hate me? Why can't I do anything right when I'm around him? (Which is always...) I. Want. Answers!
Once we get settled down for the night, a LOT earlier than usual, Riku still won't even acknowledge my existence. Riku, what's wrong with you?
Riku's laying down still not facing me and I don't know what to do! Why can't he just tell me what's wrong? I go to talk to him but he's already sleeping. He's been taking breaks all day today, also. I'm so damn worried about him! I lie closer to him than even the previous nights and try to fall asleep...
I wake up again in the middle of the night. Riku's still sleeping, but now he's facing me at least. I reach out to stroke his hair a bit again, it's become a habit to me almost. My hand is still on his hair when Riku, from no where GRABS my wrist really hard...
HE WAS AWAKE! WHAT!
"Um..." Think fast! "Good morning!" Oh that was weak. He begins glaring at me and it's really freaky. "R-Riku?"
"What do you think you're doing?" he snaps at me, still keeping his voice quiet, at least he's talking to me.
"I was...uh..." Great. Of course I go and get myself caught. "Riku, are you okay?" Maybe this'll work "It's no big deal."
"What do you think you're doing?" He asks again, impatiently.
"Riku..." What now? "I'm sorry, I didn't know it would bother you, I thought that--"
"You thought you can do whatever you want with me." He finishes
"No!" How could he think that!
"Then what?" he asks again "Just because I'm sleeping you think you can have your grimy hands all over me?"
"No! Riku just listen!" His grip on my wrist tighten and it feels like he's breaking it. He finally lets go eventually, I don't know what's wrong with him. How could something this small get him so upset? He scoots away from me and turns to his other side so he can't see me. I put my hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry..."
"Just. Don't. Touch me."
I get my hand off him and lay back down. I mutter "I'm really sorry, Riku..." before drifting back to sleep.
We're still in the nearly empty town. Population: Slim to nill. I feel like I'm going crazy, and it's Riku's fault, or is it my own? I don't love him...it's only a crush. I try to lie to myself again, but it's still not working.
"Come on," says Riku, "I'm going this way." Shoot! I almost missed him talking to me! He's so quiet... He turns a corner and I almost loose him; I run up to him and walk right next to him so I can never (almost) loose him again.
I hear sirens in the distance again, this time they're getting closer... no, it's not one, it's a lot. Riku grabs my arm again, and looks around for another place to go, but one of the cars drives in front of us, stopping before it even got close to hitting us. Riku is about to head the other way when the more cars surround us, Riku's skin is so pale it looks inhuman.
"Sora!" Shouts a voice I know. Stepping out of the back of one of the cars is...MOM! I start breathing harder as I see Donald and Goofy step out, too. Riku is getting nervous, too he looks like he's going to bolt any minute...well, not without me!
"Sora!" Shouts Goofy, as he and Donald run toward me, "Where were you?"
"I was..." I start, why should they know? "Why did you come here!"
"To knock some sense into you!" says Donald
"Go away!" I scream
"Not without y--" Goofy started, but stops once he saw Riku, who looks like he's ready to fight whoever comes near him.
"What's he doing with you?" asks Donald, glaring at Riku.
"Why do you care?"
"You've been hanging around him too much."
"What do you mean!" What's he talking about? How does he know Riku?
"He's a criminal!" He shouts "Don't you watch the news?"
"But Riku's not--" I don't watch the news, but I know Riku's not a criminal.
"He is!" Donald tries not to yell, "He really is! Now COME HOME!"
"NO!"
Soon my mom runs to the three of us.
"Why were you with that...that bitch!" She says, loud enough for Riku to hear.
"He's not--"
"Did that slut force you to leave?" She asks
"NO!" I shout "I left on my own will!" Then I run back in front of Riku. Wait, why is he still here?
Once the police get a good look at us, a few start walking toward me again. No, they aren't coming for me...they're coming for Riku... one of them grab one of his arms and the other takes his other arm and he starts struggling and threatening them.
"Riku!" I shout, "What's going on!" He just ignores me. I didn't expect an answer, anyway. Suddenly, Riku seems far away, now. Riku...
Mom snaps me out of my thoughts as she grabs my arm. Ouch.
"When we get home you are in HUGE trouble." She growls just loud enough for me to hear.
I finally get enough courage to stand up to her. "I'm not coming home."
She glares at me "Of course you are."
"No! I'm not! I'm never coming home! I want to be with Riku! I WANT TO FIND DAD!"
She squeezes my arm. "You are coming home. In one piece is a different issue." I HATE her. "You are NOT going to be near that whore!"
"Riku's not a whore!" I scream at her.
I somehow get my arm away from her and run to help Riku, but Goofy stops me.
"Sora," He says "You have to come home. You'll die out here." He looks like he's about to cry, I've never seen him sad before.
"But what about Riku...?" I ask "What about him?" I think I'm going to cry now too, damn it. He stops. It feels like everything has stopped.
"You love him, don't you?" He asks, for some reason, I really don't feel embarrassed. I force a smile, "I do. I really do." I guess I didn't notice Donald standing right next to me, too. "Sora, I didn't know that you were like that..."
"I'm not..." I try to explain "Well, Riku's the only guy that I've ever liked this much..." Goofy nods and Donald does, too. "I'm sorry guys."
"Go," Says Donald "Go be with him."
I've never seen Donald or Goofy like this before. I turn around to look at Riku, who kicks one of the police. He then lets go of one of Riku's arms so Riku turns and rips his arm from the other policeman's grasp.
"Bye guys, I'll miss you." I say before Riku grabs my arm and we run off, away from the police, away from my mom, away from everything. Before they completely vanish from sight I scream "I HATE YOU, MOM!"
How long have we been running for? I'm so exhausted that I want to collapse right now. He finally stops, and I see that the sun's setting again. We go behind a few back alleys and finally find one so hidden that no one can find us. Riku's really shaken up, he just sits against the wall with his legs against his chest and his arms around his legs. He rests his head on his knees, when I put my hand on his shoulder he jumps and looks at me.
"Riku," I say as calmly and seriously as I can "You need to tell me about your home. You need to tell me why the police are after you. You have to."
He looks at me sadly. I now notice that his aren't cold, but just so...sad.