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"Hey, Judy, I'm here to see Clark." Lana greeted Clark's nurse, whom she had befriended during Clark's two week coma.
"Oh, Lana, he told me he didn't want any visitors." Judy told her.
"Oh, tell him it's me." Lana smiled.
Judy didn't return her smile though, "Lana, he said no one."
"Oh." Lana couldn't hide the hurt on her face, and Judy tried to comfort her,
"He is probably just having a bad day, he's still having chest pains and all."
"You're probably right." Lana brushed it off, she'd just come back tomorrow when he was feeling better. He must have been pretty bad off, if he didn't even want to see her.

I wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone
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Clark watched Lana leave, and his nurse re-enter his room. He turned away from her gaze, he couldn't take it. She had been his nurse all his life, and one of the few women he ever trusted.
She walked over to him, and slowly pulled out the tube that connected to his I.V., but left the needle in, so she could give him his treatments for tomorrow.
"How are you feeling?" She asked, but the way she said it, it felt like it went beyond normal nurse and patient talk.
"A lot better." Clark said truthfully, "It doesn't hurt when I take deep breathes anymore, and the numbness in my legs is almost completely gone."
"And emotionally?" She asked caringly.
"I'm fine." Clark lied. Why would she ask him that?
"You sure?" She asked.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Clark said, raising an eye brow, putting on his mask that hid all his emotions.
"I don't know. But you won't let Lana see you, or your father. Lex is about the only one you will see." She pointed out.
Clark didn't like her sudden interest in his personal life, "So what." He said defensively.

And I'm feeling alone
And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With no where to land

"I'm just saying... you seem..." Judy didn't know how to say it without insulting Clark. She had watched him grow up over the years, and he became such a spoiled brat, and was always daddy's little boy. She never thought much of Clark, but she had a fondness, that you can't help but get after helping someone grow up, and seeing what it was really like for them, "different." She finished.

And all I see
It could never make me happy
And all my sandcastles
Spend their time collapsing

Even if Clark had only been awake from his coma a week, and he hadn't gotten out of bed yet, she definitely noticed a big change in his personality. Usually he was outspoken, and being as spoiled as he was, demanded things all the time, and criticized her when he was in any pain, blaming her. When he was little and anything went wrong, he would scream for his father, and yes he wasn't quite that juvenile in his father's companionship anymore, but some things never change, or so she thought.
What could have possibly made him want to drive away the two people who had been in his life the most? She was on the top of the list of people, who despised Lionel, but he was even worse when things didn't go his way; and Clark refusing to see him, definitely made him more irritable.

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough

Clark was the opposite, barely showing any emotion, which to her, struck her as the most drastic change. She couldn't even count how many times his temper would get out control, even as a small child and he would throw a fit, or scream, or curse at her. They never had to be big things either; tiny things regular people, who weren't spoiled to death, wouldn't have thought twice about.
"Bad different?" Clark snapped her out of her thoughts.
"No" she said honestly. "and yes." She never told the truth about the Luthors, due to their hot tempers, but Clark's personality change swayed her judgment.
"What did Lana say?" Clark couldn't resist asking any longer. It was the 4th time he had refused to see her, and she had to have known by now, that none of it was an accident.
"She was hurt; and worried about you. Kept asking if you were improving, and to let her know when you'll be up to seeing her." Judy said, finally seeing a tad of emotion coming off of Clark.
Clark looked away, obviously miserable.
"Clark" She walked over to his bed, "Lots of people experience depression after traumatic events, such as yours. It's very common." Judy knew that even if Clark knew he was depressed, he would never admit it. Lionel had always treated things like that as weaknesses.
Clark's lack of denial was as good as a red flag, that he was depressed and knew it. Her heart went out for him.
"I'm not sure if medication would work, normally I would say no, your metabolism is too fast for any drug to work, but now, I think it might help." She said.
"No." Clark didn't like her treating him like that, like he was weak. "I'm fine." He felt the need to prove it, as he slid his legs off the bed, and set his feet on the cold ground, and tried to stand up. He was holding on to the metal bar on his bed, for support.
"Clark, sit down, you don't want to over due it." She noticed Clark's arm shaking a great deal, as it tried to support him.
Clark's body forced him to sit back down, and Clark felt the challenge though, and he had failed.
Why was his body acting like this? It never had been so weak for so long. Was something really wrong? He tried to ignore his fearful thoughts, but he couldn't and they just added to his heart full of pain.

I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress
Nobody's listening
Hand full of anger, Held in my chest
Nobody's listening
Uphill struggle, blood, sweat and tears
Nobody's listening
Nothing to gain, everything to fear
Nobody's listening

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4 days later

"Clark." Lionel said rather coldly as he entered the Clark's normal room, "What's going on with you?"
"What?" Clark was using the patience he had learned over his experience, to prevent screaming at his father.
"When you were sick, I let it go." Lionel said, taking a step closer to Clark, "But there is something definitely wrong with you. You haven't even had a real conversation with me since you woke up."
Clark just shrugged his shoulders, not trusting what he would say.
"If something happened to you in your accident, you better tell me." Lionel threatened.
"Why?" Clark challenged.
"Because, I'm your father and I can't protect you unless I know what's going on." He said, but Clark thought it just all sounded so fake.
"And I can't trust you until you tell me the truth." Clark countered.
"Listen, I don't know what kind of rebelliously teenage phase you are going through, but you better remember who you're dealing with." Lionel didn't even try and mask his inner evil, he was getting sloppy and Clark smiled at that thought.
"Trust me, I've never known so clearly who I was really dealing with." Clark said it in the way, that told you knew more than you said.
"I don't know what you think you are trying to accomplish, but I would take a step back, son." Lionel said coldly as he left the room.
Clark hadn't really thought of what he wanted. He was 70% sure he could bring his father down for murder. But was that what he really wanted? He hadn't thought past the immediate future. Clark was slowly getting past his anger for Lionel, and it was horrible. Because after the anger, all that's left is sorrow. Clark wished he could stay mad forever, so he never had to feel the pain of losing a father, emotionally, at least. He knew it sounded bad, but he wished he never knew how evil Lionel was, how Lana could end up, that he loved the Kents.
All it did was torture him. He couldn't love Lionel anymore; he couldn't let Lana know how much he loved her, and the Kents would never love him in the way he loved them. They wouldn't even love him at all.
It's true, what you don't know, can't hurt you.

And I feel stuck
Watching history repeat me
Yeah, who am I?
Just a kid who knows he's needy
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Clark finally had enough strength to go back to school, and he had never wanted to go back more. He needed the distraction. There was still a panic nerve going off in his brain, because he hadn't regained any of his powers, or his super strength. At best he was in the condition of an average person, and that thought didn't give him any comfort.
He felt a small hand grab his arm, and turn him around, as he was face to face with Lana, who was moments away from tears, "Clark, what did I do? Why do you hate me all of the sudden?"
Clark had rehearsed this confrontation, but he wasn't ready for it, "I don't hate you Lana."
"Then why won't you talk to me? Let me see you?" Lana felt so rejected.
"Lana..." Clark gathered all the courage he had, as he prepared to do something he never thought possible. He felt like Clark Kent, "The accident changed me... I... I just realize that we aren't meant to be together."
"What?" Lana wiped a tear off her cheek, something Clark resisted doing.
"I'm sorry." He tried to act as if it was easy for him.
"But..." Lana shook her head, confused, hurt, and a little angry, "When you woke up, you told me you loved me. The way you kissed me... how can you say that, Clark?"
"I..." Clark couldn't think of an answer that wouldn't hurt her more, and would fulfill his plans.
"After everything we've been through?" Lana couldn't believe Clark could just so easily brush her aside, "I still don't get it... even if you don't want to date me... I was your friend before I was your girlfriend, Clark." She said, wanting him to give her a real explanation, "Why would you just completely ignore me? You don't even want to be friends?" Lana felt that was what Clark was wanting, complete severance of their friendship.
Clark had learned to be patient, and to control his temper, and his outbursts, but he had a re-lapse, "Because, I can't be friends with you without wanting more!" He yelled as he walked away from her.
Lana had never felt so rejected, hurt, and humiliated, as she stood there in the hallway crying as people all stared at her, because of how Clark blew up at her.
He confused her so much, and she knew he wasn't telling her the truth. Clark tried to hide what he felt, but his eyes gave him away. He was the one who was so willingly to just throw away everything they had, yet he was yelling at her?
Lana didn't know what was going on with Clark, because he wouldn't let her, and she knew he had a reason for that. When he was sick, she was so sure once she talked to him, he would just apologize and say he didn't mean to blow her off time and time again, that he loved her, not break up with her.
Lana couldn't forget their moment after he had woken up. She was going to find out the real reason, maybe it was what he said, but she couldn't believe that in her heart. If he really could just forget her so quickly, then she would gladly end their friendship, if he could pretend like that, fake all the emotions they shared together, he wasn't anyone she ever wanted to be with.

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough...

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&TBC . . .

Song lyrics by Linkin park and Switchfoot,.
Okay please R&R I love your feedback, it inspires me to write more