Ok, finally got some criticism, very pointed in fact. I don't like it much but I do respect people for voicing it since my fiction can grow because of it.
Lots of people seem to think that a Jiriaya trained Naruto from the start would be a lot stronger then Sasuke. Ok, I'll give you that but I'll give you my main reason for going by this route. A hyper powerful Naruto at this point would be boring. If he could take on team seven's opponents in the forest and win every time then beat Kiba a short time later you'd get bored after a while. Ok so how's he going to do it this time? What new technique will he dazzle us with? And so on. Maybe I should clarify several things about Naruto's training and jutsu in this story.
For starters...saying Naruto could beat Jiriaya in a no moves barred fight hands down. Now normally I would agree with you. Jiriaya is after all a legendary ninja taught by the most learned ninja ever. But what do you think of when I say "no moves barred"? Don't you think that being around a perverted old man your whole life might effect a certain "trademark" Naruto move? Since I won't be revealing it in the story until the month between the prelims and finals I might as well say it now. I'm talking of course about the Sexy no Jutsu. You think it's powerful in the real storyline? Think about a sexy no jutsu that has been perfected after years of work on a single pervert. Naruto by now knows Jiriaya's every weakness and can use them against him. In the regular storyline the sexy no jutsu doesn't have much effect on Jiriaya but imagine a sexy no jutsu so perfect that it had double the effect of the Harem no jutsu used on Ebusa(sp). I was thinking a massive geyser of blood rocketing Jiriaya to untold heights only to come crashing down to be pummeled to within an inch of death by a, at least in Jiriaya's mind, perfect nude women hellbent on teaching the old fart a lesson. Ultimate pleasure, aka the perfect women, mixed with ultimate pain, aka a near death beating. I'd say that's worthy of Jiriaya's fear and respect.
Another item on the list is Naruto's power level relative to Sasuke's. This is a bit harder to explain. Right now I'm going on the idea that Jiriaya and Naruto were focusing on chakra control and absolute mastery of jutsu. Naruto is notorious for underpowered or incomplete jutsu. I set out to remedy this. In my story Naruto is more like Sasuke, a perfectionist when it comes to jutsu. He has to have everything down before he begins work on a new jutsu. Having twelve years of exclusive training allows for this type of learning. Sure he doesn't have many jutsu but its more then he regularly has and the ones he knows are nearly perfect when performed. Most likely Jiriaya was often away playing the lecher which left Naruto to practice his techniques and not learn new ones. The Rasengan and the Summoning will come later, during the break between matches just like Sasuke's Lightning edge, not during and after the exams like in the normal story. Another issue that is in the same area in question is his taijutsu abilities. He is better at it then normal and considering Sasuke is better in this story as well and Naruto is at almost the same level as Sasuke means he's actually quite good. Maybe at Lee's speed with his weights on and about his level in attacks minus the lotus moves. (That will be an interesting match up when I write Lee's challenge, if I do) Naruto's use of the Naruto Rendan was a special move that he included in his jutsu just because of its use of shadow clones. Otherwise I'd be inclined to agree that its not that special.
The last major area in question is that of the nine tails chakra. Probably the hardest one and the one I've actually thought the least about since we skipped over its first use and haven't gotten to its second use yet. Jiriaya was more concerned with strengthening Naruto along normal lines for most of the time. He wanted the boy to slowly absorb the nine tails by gaining strength himself. He didn't want to involve the other chakra seeing as Naruto hadn't known about its origin at that point. But when Naruto accidently let some of the red stuff slip like I said it made Jiriaya take a closer look at that problem. The subsequent reading of the scroll opened up the path for training in that area which will happen again during the interlude between matches. This time however it will be much easier and much more profitable for Naruto.
I hope that answers some of the question people had about the story. I am always willing to take criticism of my work. Feel free to email me at either of my two addresses, Swiftlh2@yahoo.com or lmhoover@puc.com or chat with me online using MSN messenger and the yahoo mail address if you feel that the problem needs serious discussing. I'll talk even if you just want to chat. I'm always looking for someone to chat with especially if you want to talk about writing or anime. Since my normal friends aren't on much at all any more.
Ok, that's it. I should have another chapter up by tomorrow, Saturday at the latest. Right now I'm trying to watch the first exam and get it down pat so I can feel confident when I change things. I'm also really looking forward to the next episode of both the manga and the anime which I should be getting friday/Saturday. Until then...happy reading. *Salutes his readers and marches off to watch naruto and write some more fanfiction.*
Lots of people seem to think that a Jiriaya trained Naruto from the start would be a lot stronger then Sasuke. Ok, I'll give you that but I'll give you my main reason for going by this route. A hyper powerful Naruto at this point would be boring. If he could take on team seven's opponents in the forest and win every time then beat Kiba a short time later you'd get bored after a while. Ok so how's he going to do it this time? What new technique will he dazzle us with? And so on. Maybe I should clarify several things about Naruto's training and jutsu in this story.
For starters...saying Naruto could beat Jiriaya in a no moves barred fight hands down. Now normally I would agree with you. Jiriaya is after all a legendary ninja taught by the most learned ninja ever. But what do you think of when I say "no moves barred"? Don't you think that being around a perverted old man your whole life might effect a certain "trademark" Naruto move? Since I won't be revealing it in the story until the month between the prelims and finals I might as well say it now. I'm talking of course about the Sexy no Jutsu. You think it's powerful in the real storyline? Think about a sexy no jutsu that has been perfected after years of work on a single pervert. Naruto by now knows Jiriaya's every weakness and can use them against him. In the regular storyline the sexy no jutsu doesn't have much effect on Jiriaya but imagine a sexy no jutsu so perfect that it had double the effect of the Harem no jutsu used on Ebusa(sp). I was thinking a massive geyser of blood rocketing Jiriaya to untold heights only to come crashing down to be pummeled to within an inch of death by a, at least in Jiriaya's mind, perfect nude women hellbent on teaching the old fart a lesson. Ultimate pleasure, aka the perfect women, mixed with ultimate pain, aka a near death beating. I'd say that's worthy of Jiriaya's fear and respect.
Another item on the list is Naruto's power level relative to Sasuke's. This is a bit harder to explain. Right now I'm going on the idea that Jiriaya and Naruto were focusing on chakra control and absolute mastery of jutsu. Naruto is notorious for underpowered or incomplete jutsu. I set out to remedy this. In my story Naruto is more like Sasuke, a perfectionist when it comes to jutsu. He has to have everything down before he begins work on a new jutsu. Having twelve years of exclusive training allows for this type of learning. Sure he doesn't have many jutsu but its more then he regularly has and the ones he knows are nearly perfect when performed. Most likely Jiriaya was often away playing the lecher which left Naruto to practice his techniques and not learn new ones. The Rasengan and the Summoning will come later, during the break between matches just like Sasuke's Lightning edge, not during and after the exams like in the normal story. Another issue that is in the same area in question is his taijutsu abilities. He is better at it then normal and considering Sasuke is better in this story as well and Naruto is at almost the same level as Sasuke means he's actually quite good. Maybe at Lee's speed with his weights on and about his level in attacks minus the lotus moves. (That will be an interesting match up when I write Lee's challenge, if I do) Naruto's use of the Naruto Rendan was a special move that he included in his jutsu just because of its use of shadow clones. Otherwise I'd be inclined to agree that its not that special.
The last major area in question is that of the nine tails chakra. Probably the hardest one and the one I've actually thought the least about since we skipped over its first use and haven't gotten to its second use yet. Jiriaya was more concerned with strengthening Naruto along normal lines for most of the time. He wanted the boy to slowly absorb the nine tails by gaining strength himself. He didn't want to involve the other chakra seeing as Naruto hadn't known about its origin at that point. But when Naruto accidently let some of the red stuff slip like I said it made Jiriaya take a closer look at that problem. The subsequent reading of the scroll opened up the path for training in that area which will happen again during the interlude between matches. This time however it will be much easier and much more profitable for Naruto.
I hope that answers some of the question people had about the story. I am always willing to take criticism of my work. Feel free to email me at either of my two addresses, Swiftlh2@yahoo.com or lmhoover@puc.com or chat with me online using MSN messenger and the yahoo mail address if you feel that the problem needs serious discussing. I'll talk even if you just want to chat. I'm always looking for someone to chat with especially if you want to talk about writing or anime. Since my normal friends aren't on much at all any more.
Ok, that's it. I should have another chapter up by tomorrow, Saturday at the latest. Right now I'm trying to watch the first exam and get it down pat so I can feel confident when I change things. I'm also really looking forward to the next episode of both the manga and the anime which I should be getting friday/Saturday. Until then...happy reading. *Salutes his readers and marches off to watch naruto and write some more fanfiction.*