Runaway

chapter 14

"Hey Riku?" I ask, his head still resting on my lap. "You think we should get up again?" He shrugs. "Come on, let's get up." He does. I hate this. I hope the meds wear off soon. I'd rather have him be annoyingly pissed and stubborn than this... zombie state he's in. And I though he was bad before.

This is enough. Right now I just want out. I don't even know how I feel about Riku anymore. It's not love and maybe it never was. Maybe it was just one of those crushes that last a week and then you can't stand him anymore...

But I don't want to hate him. Okay, sure, he's been getting on my nerves and been ungrateful for what I've been trying to give him...

Who am I kidding? We're not even friends. We can't even be friends! He doesn't want it and I'm not sure if I want it either... It's all too much. Everything-- too much stress. Too much responsibility.

I want to scream it out: Rather be anywhere but here right now. Anywhere but here! I hate this! I hate this whole world! I hate the people who had to make it this way for us! Riku's dad. Everyone at our schools. My mom. My mom's deadbeat boyfriend.

Ah shit. I haven't though about him in years and I don't need to start now.

"Hey Riku?" He makes a monotonous "I hear you" noise. "I looked at your pictures." Well, now's a better time to tell him any other. There's no other way he won't freak out and won't be this emotionless ever again. I'm throwing away that stupid medication.

Gods, I feel like crying. Stupid Riku, he's spreading his misery around like a cold.

"Oh." Is all he says. He doesn't sound angry, frustrated, murderous. He sounds like nothing. But it should wear off by evening, right?

"Yeah..." He almost looks uncomfortable, but not exactly. Oh well, when the meds wear off I'll probably get creamed, but that doesn't matter now. Too bad. If I still liked him that way I could've told him right now. Oh well. I shrug. "Sorry." Now he shrugs.

"Yeah..."

We don't talk after that.

When I told him I saw the photos, it was still morning. Now the sun's high in the sky and Riku's meds are wearing off. Already? Man. Maybe I didn't give him enough. I think I read the label wrong. But there's no way in hell I'll give him more. No way.

"Hey, Riku?" I'll bet he's pissed.

"What?" He says, teeth clenched.

"Oh. You're pretty mad huh?" He doesn't say anything. "Hey, I'm sorry."

"Shut. Up."

"No, really, Riku. You have the right to be mad and all, but I just want to say I'm sorry." He turns to look at me for a moment, raises his hand and smacks me. I let out a yelp and now I'm on the ground. Holy SHIT, that HURT.

"Ow! Geez! What was that for?" I get up again, rubbing my cheek.

"I told you to just shut up!" Oh god. I've never seen him this mad before.

"I was just trying to apologize Riku!"

"Goddamn I hate people like you." His face is kind of red and he's breathing hard. "I hate people like you so damned much." He's speaking slowly. Just making everything worse. No... I'm not going to cry or feel bad. This isn't all my fault... "I told you not to look at the pictures." He's growling. "Why can't you do something simple like that! I told you not to look at them! Why in the hell--" He's at a loss for words.

He gets right in my face an grabs my shirt collar. Oh crap. "I hate people like you!" He screams. "Stay out of my life!" This time I slap him, but not very hard. In all his rage I don't think he even noticed much. He just lets go.

"What's your problem, Riku!" It's my turn to yell. "All I do is try to be you FRIEND, someone you can TRUST. I have been nothing but kind to you no matter what angsty crap you're going through at that one moment!" He has been ungrateful and selfish. I made ONE--TWO. I make TWO mistakes and now he HATES me! "You act like you're the only person who's EVER felt bad! Well let me tell you, you're selfish and it's no wonder you've never had friends!"

Damn, that felt great. ...But the look he gives me... Suddenly he bolts off running.

I run and catch up in a few seconds. Either I've gotten faster or he's gotten slower. I tackle him to the ground and lay on him for a moment before rolling off and catching my breath. He turns and punches me and I punch back. Now he's on top of me and once or twice I get on top. We're in the middle of no where beating the crap out of each other like some jerks who got kicked out of a bar or something. He gets on top again and the pain is unbearable. Ow... I gasp for breath and I reach up at him. "Stop..." I whimper. This is worse than what the gang was doing. I'm dead... I'm dead for real. He really means it this time. I'm dead... I'm dead... My arms are still reaching up at him, so this is my last resort: I try and tickle him.

It stops him at least. He's still over me, looking at me, almost disturbed. I let my hands wander across his chest, stomach, and even trying under his arms to get him to laugh.

It's useless.

He can't even laugh and now I look like an idiot. I try for the stomach again and he looks away, his hair covering his face. He looks at me again, the sides of his mouth turning into a small smile. I roll on top of him and tickle him more. He's grinning now. He's trying not to laugh but it doesn't work. He bursts out laughing before getting into a coughing fit and laughing again. I'm laughing too. Dear God, what are the chances of this happening? I'm not even touching him anymore but we're still rolling on the ground laughing. He tries to get up but just falls back again, now laughing so hard tears are running down his face. He gasps for breath and wipes it away.

I can't breathe anymore. I forget about the anger and the pain. It doesn't matter anymore. I think I'm starting to break through the wall Riku's built.

Awesome.

"Come on," He chokes, trying to stop the laughter. "Let's go." He gets up and I follow. He's not laughing anymore, but he still has a smirk on his face. The sun's setting now.

It's dark and we're lying on some grass, trying to get to sleep. It's really late, but neither one of us can fall asleep. The stars are all shining and twinkling. Riku has his eyes closed and I see his chest rise and fall as he breathes.

"Hey, Riku," I shake his arm. He opens one eye.

"What is it?"

"Look at the sky. At the stars." There's a long silence.

"They're gorgeous."

"So are you." I blurt out. He turns to look at me, a puzzled expression written across his face. I look right into his eyes until I feel myself blushing and turn my gaze to something else. Until I realize I'm staring right at his crotch and have to look up at the sky again, my face probably redder than a tomato. I hear him move around a bit before settling down. He's curled up and his eyes are closed. I get just a little closer to him and lay on my stomach. "Good night, Riku."

"'Night..." He mutters.

It's morning already but I don't want it to be. Mmm... Riku's arm is wrapped around me, I think. I feel and smell his jacket against me.

No... it's not Riku exactly, but his jacket is draped over me. I slide my arms into the sleeves and curl up, burying my face into my arm.

That's funny. Riku's not trying to wake me up. Maybe I just woke up before him or something. I sit up and stretch, my eyes shut tight. The jacket's so nice and comfortable. I open my eyes and look around.

Riku's gone.

Okay, yeah. Only three pages but this is how I planned it in my head. :P My last update was already getting pushed off the page after, like...one day? So I figured it was time to update again. But wow! It only took me two days to get this one done:P Well, maybe one day and an hour or something because I started writing at like, 1 AM- right before I went to bed, which resulted in some strange Runaway dreams. Okay, enough of my rambling.

R&R appreciated.