Author's note: very sorry for the long wait: long business trip with limited internet connection and no time to write. Have now managed to finish the last chapter: hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 14

By the time the admiral got Kara to sickbay there was no sign of major Cottle and his team, which Adama took as a good sign that meant they were still working on Lee. One of the nurses confirmed that he was in surgery as she took Alex from Kara to give him a check over and a good clean. Kara's eyes followed him as he went, as if she couldn't bear to let him out of her sight. Adama watched her carefully, noting the new collection of bruises on her arms, just visible through the accumulated filth of days on New Kobol and from the Cylon raider.

"You should go and get checked over too." She wrapped her arms around her body in a protective gesture.

"No, I'm OK."

"Well at least have a shower. Don't take this the wrong way Kara, but you stink." This raised a slight smile.

"Yeah, those raiders don't come in 'lemon fresh' scent." She still wouldn't move. He knew why and decided that he needed to push her.

"Go on. I'll stay here and I'll send someone to fetch you immediately if there's any news. You're going to feel much better once you're cleaned up and you might not get another chance for a long while once they bring him out of surgery."

She eventually went but joined him again after barely fifteen minutes considerably cleaner. They sat outside the operating room and felt the familiar lurch of the FTL drive as the Galactica jumped back to the fleet.

"So much for a new start on New Kobol."

"Yes, not quite the haven we had hoped for was it? According to our telemetry there's quite a big hole in now it anyway. You going to tell me what you two got up to down there as I take it you were the cause?"

She gave him a brief, unemotional account of what had happened to them on New Kobol. After her story was finished they were both quiet for a while, thinking over the events of the past week. Adama's thoughts and memories were on his old friend Saul whom he would sorely miss. His remembrances were interrupted by Kara's quiet voice.

"I'm very sorry sir."

"Whatever for, Kara?"

"Well it would seem that I've managed to kill your other son this time." He took her hand and looked at her seriously.

"Firstly, as far as we know he's not dead: Cottle wouldn't be taking all this time if there was no hope of him surviving and secondly, just like with Zac, it wasn't your fault, Kara. You didn't pull that trigger; the Cylon did."

"But if I'd been quicker re-loading my weapon….." The tears started to fall again.

"Don't torture yourself with ifs and what might have beens, Kara. It probably seemed like it took forever but was actually only a matter of seconds. If you ask Lee, he would say that he'd do the same thing again to save his son."

"I know, but I can't help thinking this way." She looked up at him, eyes huge pools of anguish. "I love him so very much."

"I know, I know." He patted her hand and held it tightly as they continued to wait.

-

Major Cottle sighed as he came out of the OR. Gods he needed a cigarette! He looked at the two people in front of him and wondered about the best way to deliver the news that he had to give them. In one way or another he seemed to spend half his time talking about the condition of a member of this family, but usually it was to Lee and he had come to appreciate and value that young man's no nonsense approach to any bad news that he received. He wasn't so sure how these two were going to react, especially as the news was very bad indeed. He set his face in his 'prepare for the worse' expression, which Adama picked up on immediately.

"He's gone hasn't he?" asked the admiral, his voice just an agonised rasp.

"No, we got him back and he survived the surgery. I expect him to live as long as we can keep him free from infection."

"There's a but to this isn't there doc?" responded Kara, her face fearful.

"I'm afraid that there is and it's a big one. You have to understand that he was very, very badly injured. I couldn't save his arm: we had to amputate just above the elbow. We won't know whether his head injury has affected his sight or brain function until he wakes up." Kara couldn't help letting out a sob. The doctor took her hand. "There's worse I'm afraid. I had to take out five bullets, most didn't do significant damage but one of them was lodged in his lower spine and it clipped his spinal cord. There's a lot of swelling so we can't tell the true extent of the damage yet, but it's almost certain that he'll be paralysed."

"Oh Gods!" Kara brought her hand to her mouth to try and stop herself from crying out. Adama and the doc grabbed her as she swayed.

"Can we see him?" she managed to whisper.

"Of course. Don't expect much from him for the next few days. I'm going to keep him pretty heavily sedated for a good while. He's lost a lot of blood and will be very weak." He took her hand and placed Lee's wedding ring into it. "We took this off. I thought you'd want to keep it for him," he said gruffly.

Adama took Kara by the arm and guided her through to the recovery room. She dropped down into the chair next to the bed and let the tears flow. He couldn't move from the foot of the bed at the sight that greeted him. Lee, his beautiful boy! He could hardly bear to look at him. There were monitors and tubes everywhere. He was uncovered from the waist up, with various dressings covering where the doc had removed bullets from his side and shoulder. Adama had to drag his eyes away from the bandaged stump of his left arm. The left side of his face was also heavily bandaged. Lee had always been so alive, so full of energy and purpose, even when he had been angry with his father, that Adama found it next to impossible to see him like this. Memories started to flit through his brain. The first time he had held his son when he'd been minutes old; his first words and his first steps. He remembered the last time that he had seen his son in a hospital bed after a ten year old Lee had fallen out of a tree and sustained a severe concussion and broken leg. Even then it had been because he was trying to be the best: reaching for the best fruit on the highest branch. After that the memories became hazier as his career kept him increasingly away from his family and his marriage started to disintegrate, but all the things that they had been through together more recently since the Cylon attack came flooding back to him as he stood there looking down at the still form of his son. He thought of all the strength and support that Lee had given him over the last two years, as both his son and his CAG, and realised that he was going to have to return that support with interest if they were to get through this. He had to steady himself by gripping the bed frame to stop himself from breaking down. He felt Cottle's hand on his shoulder in a gesture of comfort. The doc wanted to say something like 'it's not as bad as it looks' but in this case that wasn't really appropriate.

Kara lifted her head and wiped her face. She turned to Cottle, anxiety apparent in every gesture.

"I had to drag him, doc. I had to; I couldn't do anything else to get him into the ship. Did I cause the paralysis?"

"No, the bullet did the damage," he told her gently. "What you did might have contributed to the swelling, but you also saved his life by getting him back here so quickly."

"Is there anything we can do, doc?"

"Just be there for him. Talk to him." She nodded, a look of grim determination settling over her features.

So started their long vigil. They tried to make sure that one of them was with him at all times, but that was difficult, especially for the admiral who couldn't leave the ship to run itself with their current lack of experienced executive staff. The majority of the vigil therefore fell to Kara. Although she should have taken the job back, Adama left Helo as the temporary CAG so she could concentrate on Lee. Helo agreed readily because he too knew that there was no way that she was in the right state of mind to fly a viper at the moment.

After three days the doc decided he could start to withdraw the heavy sedating meds, but it wasn't long before that decision looked to be premature as Lee started to twitch and moan. He was fighting against the restraints holding him to the bed.

"What is it doc? Is he seizing? Is this something to do with his head injury?" asked his worried father.

"No, I don't think so. It's more like he's dreaming as he returns to consciousness, but we need to stop him; if he carries on he's going to worsen the damage to that spine."

Suddenly Kara knew what she had to do. She went to the phone and made a quick call then returned to the bed, speaking close to Lee's ear.

"It's alright Lee, we're safe. Thanks to you we're both safe, just like you promised."

Moments later Cally appeared carrying Alex. With a quick word of thanks Kara took him and moved back to Lee's bed.

"Its OK Lee, look he's here. You saved him. He wasn't hurt at all." She laid the baby down as close to his father as she could get him. Alex reached out and touched his father's face, chortling away happily, and within a short time Lee's frantic struggles had stopped.

From that moment on she was determined to keep Alex with Lee as much as possible. She had kept him away at first, wanting him to have as much of his normal routine as possible and also from wanting to protect him from the sight of his father so hurt, but after seeing Lee's reaction to him she knew that keeping him with his father was essential to Lee's recovery. She set up camp in his cordoned-off area of sickbay, with a camp bed for herself and a cot for Alex. The first day that Lee opened his eyes it was to see his son playing at his side. The little boy was proving difficult to keep in one place now that he had just about mastered crawling, but in this case she didn't stop him as he crawled up the bed. It may only have been baby talk but she thought he distinctly said "da da". Lee tried a weak smile and she knew that she was doing the right thing by keeping his son close to him.

Lee came in and out of consciousness over the next couple of days but gradually became more aware. That meant that the moment that Kara had been dreading was coming closer: they had to tell him about his injuries. That moment came one afternoon when the doc was doing a check of all the dressings and removing the majority of the bandaging around Lee's head. They had already agreed that if an opening came to tell him today then they would take it. The doc seemed to think that he was strong enough now. He seemed very satisfied with the progress as Lee's eyes successfully followed the pencil held in front of his face back and forward.

"That's good. Vision seems normal and no obvious signs of brain damage." Kara knew that was her cue for some cute remark about not having much brain to damage, but she was too wound up to even try.

"Any pain behind the eye, headaches?" the doc went on.

"Nothing significant. You must have me on some extra strong stuff, doc; I can't feel anything."

Kara couldn't help a sob escaping at the irony of that comment. The doctor took that as his entree and explained to Lee as gently as he could the extent of his injuries. Lee lay still, giving no indication of having heard Cottle at all, just staring at the ceiling. Kara sat quietly, holding his remaining hand, not trusting herself to speak without breaking down at the heartbreaking look on his face. They couldn't seem to get any reaction out of him at all; he just shut down. His father tried as well but with no success. Everyone came to visit him, from the president to Cally, but he wouldn't speak to any of them. Then one evening she came back from giving Alex his bath to find Lee lying with his good arm covering his eyes and his shoulders giving a tell tale heave. She quickly put the baby down and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Its OK Lee, it's OK." She didn't know what else to say and just rubbed his arm up and down in a gesture of comfort. Her relief at finally seeing some reaction from him was palpable, but the pain evident in the sound of his sobs was almost more than she could bear. Eventually he had cried himself out but he still lay with his arm covering his face. She left him to himself for a moment and went to see that Alex was safely settled down to sleep. A quiet voice behind her made her turn.

"I won't contest it if you want a divorce, Kara." He was staring at her with a look of grim determination on his face.

"What the frak are you talking about Lee?"

"I'm not the man you married any more am I Kara? I don't want to make you stay tied to a cripple."

"What sort of talk is that? I didn't marry you just for your body."

"If I remember rightly you married me because you were pregnant."

"That determined the timing of our marriage but not the reason for it. I married you because I happen to love you, you stupid idiot; that's not changed just because you're a bit bashed up. I can't believe that you think I'd be that frakking shallow. I remember the vow I took at our wedding even if you don't: together through ill-health and adversity." She took a deep breath. She couldn't get angry with him, but it was very important that she make him see that they could get through this together. "Now you listen to me Lee Adama and you listen good. This is a completely understandable initial reaction to what's happened to you, but I need you to be positive, Alex needs you to be positive." She stroked his face, feeling the muscles quilting under her fingers as he tried to control his emotions. She held her gaze to his, her eyes bright with her own tears, and willed him to be strong. It was only after a slight nod from him that she was satisfied that he was on the way to getting over this initial hurdle of acceptance. "Besides you're not getting rid of me that easily," she added, a slight smile to peeping out. She reached into her pocket then took his right hand and slipped his wedding ring on to the third finger.

"We'll keep it there until we can find you some sort of replacement for the other hand."

"I had to give you the choice," he said quietly. "But I'm so very glad you didn't take it."

"I know," she replied, her voice one of gentle understanding of this honourable man.

"Would it be considered pathetic to ask you to hold me?"

"Of course not. That's what I'm here for." She contemplated for a moment how he was lying and the various tubes and wires still attached to him. She carefully climbed onto the bed on his 'good' side and slid her arms around him, her face close enough to his to allow a quick kiss.

"Better?"

"Mmm."

"Good. Now sleep!"

They exchanged a soft kiss in lieu of words of love. She watched as his eyelids fell shut and didn't re-open.

In the depths of their darkest times, when there seemed to be no hope of escaping the Cylons, she had tried to prepare herself for the fact that he might die. But even in those times she had never begun to contemplate that he might come back to her alive, but so broken that he would never be able to hold her in his arms again, would no longer be the strong rock that she leant on, so weak that even giving her a smile was an effort. Viper pilots either made it back or they didn't; there was rarely much in between. Now they would never know again the exhilaration of charging their vipers together wing to wing through a 6G dive. One thing was for certain: the great Apollo would never fly a viper again.

Yet as she lay there, just holding him, a strange feeling of contentment settled over her. She had been struggling to find a balance in her life; a clarity of purpose. Well now she had one. Her internal battle between the old Starbuck and the new; the wife, the mother and the viper pilot, was now over. In the face of his terrible injuries, the sacrifice that he had made to save their son, nothing else mattered but to give Lee everything that she had to help him recover. As she lay watching the even rise and fall of his chest she realised the depth of her love for him; a love that she knew would survive this and every other adversity the universe threw at them. A chapter of their life together had been closed but a new one was just beginning. She tightened her hold on him and let herself sleep.

THE END