Looking back at me
I see that I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong like a drug that gets me high

Clark knocked on Lana's door, with sweaty hands.
"Is Lana there?" Clark asked nervously, as Martha opened the door.
"Yes... come on in." She said it politely, but Clark knew her voice held no fondness for him, why would it? It hurt.
Clark stepped in the house, and it felt so strange. As he sat down on the couch, he was overcome with a powerful feeling of not belong, and being out of place, like he had never felt before. And that is saying a lot, when you are a Luther and the only one left of a species.
"What are you doing here?" Jonathan asked coldly as he caught sight of Clark. He wasn't sure what was going on between him and Lana, but he did know that he had never seen his little girl in so much pain before, and Clark seemed to be the cause of that.
Clark couldn't blame Jonathan for not wanting him around Lana, hell, he didn't want himself around her either, "Listen, I'm sorry I hurt Lana, but I'm not here to cause trouble." Clark hoped he wasn't lying.
Lana came down the stairs, "Clark." She looked at her father, and then back to Clark, not sure what was coming, "Let's go in the loft, and talk."
"Okay." Clark shot Jonathan a sincerely apologetic look, before following Lana out of the house.
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What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way
I am
I never meant to be so cold
I never meant to be so cold

Clark walked up the flight of stairs that led to the loft. It definitely didn't look like it had, when it was "Clark Kent's fortress of solitude." But it had a small couch, which Clark sat down next to Lana, on.
Clark hadn't thought of anything else all day; all he could do was run different scenarios threw his head, but he still wasn't ready for this, he never would be.
"Okay..." Clark didn't know how to start. He was dying to explain his heart to her, and it was tearing him apart.
"Clark." Lana was trying to help him, since it was obvious hard for him, "Its okay."

Cold to you
I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand
On my own again
Cause now I can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high

"Lana, when I said I woke up from my coma and realized we weren't meant to be together, I wasn't lying." Clark started.
Lana's heart sunk, and her facial expression didn't hide it.
Clark held her hand, "This might sound crazy, but I swear, it's true. During my coma, I saw my, our future..." Clark felt awful, having to admit it, "It was horrible. Lana, you weren't happy... and I was the reason. I was so cruel to you, and you couldn't escape me. I was evil." Clark continued, without letting Lana comment, he wasn't sure if he could continue if she did, "and there is no way I could ever be with you, knowing there is the chance that you'll end up like that. I know what you are going to say, that it won't happen, and I would have said the same thing, but it could, and if it did, I couldn't live with myself." Clark was actually more afraid that he could live with himself, like in the future.
"Clark, you don't even know if that was real." Lana said.
"It was real." That was about the one thing, Clark didn't doubt.
"Clark, we all have our flaws, but you aren't evil." Lana knew that much.
"They start out as flaws and turn into bigger things, and with all my power, it's would be so easy for me to just turn." Clark admitted his fear.

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me there's just no hope
I never meant to be so cold

"But if you know this, if you don't want it to happen, you can change it. Clark, YOU, not some future you, decides who you are going to be. You can make it so it doesn't turn out that way." Lana didn't know what Clark saw in his future, but it had scared him.
"That is what I'm doing. The one assurance that I won't hurt you is that I don't be with you, at all." It made so much sense to Clark, so Lana had to see.
"Clark, you are going to hurt me more by doing this, to prevent something that might not ever happen." Lana said, as a tear rolled down her cheek, as she realized how committed he was.
"It seems like that now. But I still have the same evil in my life, like Lionel."
"What about Lionel?" Lana thought it was too random of a reference, to not have significant meaning.
"He's evil, Lana. He is a big part of why I become so cruel. He influenced me." Clark told her.
Lana had never heard Clark talk about his father, other than perfect, and basically his ro-model, and it surprised her, but she thought she understood maybe a little, "Is that why Lionel... hurt you? Because you found out something?" Lana guessed Clark had probably uncovered some past evil Lionel had done.
"No, he was pissed because I wouldn't love him." Clark thought it summed it up best.
"If you see the evil in him, how can he influence you?" Lana pointed out.
"I'm still me, and I'm still Lionel's son." Clark said, more to himself, than to Lana.
"Clark, the fact that you are even willingly to go threw with all this shows you've changed." Lana let more tears falls.

Clark had to look away from the pained expression on her face. Lana was making so much sense, too much sense. He wanted to listen to her, and give in. But sometimes you feel weak, and when you feel weak you just want to give up and give in, but you have to search deep within you and find your inner strength and pull it out of you. It'll give you that motivation to not give in, and not fall, no matter how bad you want to.
"Lana," He squeezed her hand, and moved closer to her, "Please, please, just forget me." He cupped her neck and chin with one hand, as the other wiped tears off her face- something he had resisted doing earlier, "You are so incredible. When I look into your eyes, I feel like I can see your soul, and it's superior to anything I can even imagine. Any guy who meets you will want you. Let him love you."
"I don't want another guy." She cried, "And what about you. You can't just numb all your feelings, Clark. That is how you are going to end up evil."
"Lana, I found the greatest thing of all, and I'll be happy that I even knew you for a day. So please, forget me. Please." Clark wished he really felt that way. But once you know someone like Lana, you can't help but get addicted.
"Clark, there is no one else like you..." Her voice quivered, it was true on so many levels, "There is no way I could ever forget you."
Clark had once told Lana, that he felt like glass around her, because she could always see right threw him. This was no exception, as she looked into his eyes, and saw how committed he was. If it had been anything else, she would have been flattered by how much he loved her, enough to give up what he wanted, but by doing what he thought was right, it meant never seeing her again.
"Clark." She moved closer to him, "Please, I'm asking you not to do this. If it does end up I'm not happy, it will be my fault, not yours."
"Lana, I wish I could believe that." Clark looked away from her.
Lana felt fear, like she had never known before; grip her heart; as she sensed the end was near. She had to do something, she loved Clark just as much as he did her, and she was going to fight.
"Clark." She cupped his face, forcing him to make eye contact with her, "I'm asking you, please, if you love me, don't do this." She begged him.
"I'm doing this because I love you." He looked back at her with the saddest eyes she would ever see in her whole life.
She leaned down and kissed his bottom lip, before fully kissing him, and he let her. She parted, for a second, to look at him, before she kissed him again. This time he kissed her back. She had her arms around his neck.
Clark didn't know a kiss could mean so much; make you feel so much; realize so much. He wrapped his arms around her, as he slipped his tongue into Lana's mouth, raising the passion of the kiss, if it was possible, because it wasn't just a kiss; it was all their emotions wrapped up into a single action.
The kiss slowly wound down, until Clark gave Lana a last peck on the lips. They sat there for a full minute starring at each other, neither one wanting to talk, afraid to ruin it.
Finally Clark slowly leaned in and gave Lana a kiss on the cheek, then he got up off the couch and left.
Lana watched him go, confused. Why would he kiss her unless he realized they could be together unless... he was saying a final good-bye?
Lana wasn't sure if she wanted the answer. It could be so great, or the worst thing to ever happen to her.

What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way
I am
I never meant to be so cold
I never meant to be so cold

TBC...
song lyrics by Crossfade "cold" Please R&R
Sorry I would have updated yesterday, but my comp went crazy and deleted my whole update, so I had to rewrite it again. sorry if it sucked, but if you ever had to re write something, you know how much you Don't want to do it. lol, sorry.