Runaway
chapter 20
The fire's burned out. The sky is cloudy and it looks like it may rain again. I look over at Riku and put my arm around his shoulder. He looks... very frigid.
"You okay?" I ask.
"Fine." He says. "I'm fine." He looks over at me. "A little cold, but I'm..." I move forward, or he does- but we're kissing again; just a quick, chaste kiss on the lips, but it's still something. Still something great.
He nuzzles my neck and puts his arms around me. "Nn. I like you." He says, smiling. "You're so warm..." He holds me tighter and I fall over, Riku still attached to me.
"Ri..." Before I can say another world he lifts my shirt up to my chest. What the hell! "What are you doing!" He smiles again as he rests his head on my stomach. He closes his eyes and lets out a breath.
...He is FREEZING. Agh... I don't want to make him get off, but he feels dead.
"Mmm... we should go now." He says quietly. He gets up and reaches his hand out for me; I gladly take it.
Dear God, he's grinning. "Hey," He says. "I'll race you back to the park."
"No way!" I say, "It's way too far for me to run. That would be unfair advantage." I grin. "What's gotten into you?" I quickly add, "I mean, I like it... but what is it?" His grin fades and he doesn't reply.
"Come on then," He says, beginning to walk away.
"Wait up," I say, grabbing my things and getting up. I hurry over and we walk side by side until we reach the park again.
The walk wasn't really that bad, actually. We find our spot near the tree again and rest. He puts his bag in his lap and pulls out a stick of gum. "Nn." I say, poking him in the shoulder. "I want another piece."
"Sure." He says, pulling out an extra piece. "Whatever."
"Thanks." I say, taking it from him and popping it in my mouth. I grin, move his bag and lay my head in his lap. He relaxes a little and begins to stroke my hair. I really like it; I don't know why he doesn't like it when I do it to him. "Your bag is really big," I say, just to make conversation. "What's in it?"
"Nothing, really..." He says. "Spare clothes, but they're probably too small... just junk. Stupid things." I playfully got over and open it. He tries to stop me, but I pull it away.
"Is there something in here I should know about?" I ask jokingly. "Is--" I stop when something catches my eye. "What..." It's the knife. "WHAT THE HELL!" I shout. I bolt up and get off his lap. "Why would you... you.. my GOD!"
"Sora..." He says, hesitantly. He puts his hand on my arm but I shake it off.
"You lying, psychotic... bastard!"
"Sora, just listen to me..."
"How could you DO that!"
"Please, just HEAR ME OUT."
"No, Riku!" I shout, jumping up on my feet. "I'm sick of putting up with your shit. You just... you-- my GOD! I can't BELIEVE you!" I should have known he'd do this. "You know, I thought you had HALF A BRAIN, I really did. I--"
"No, kid," he says, also getting up. "YOU'RE the idiot. If you think I'll just give up something like that after I've been doing it for so long--"
"SHUT UP!" I scream. He doesn't say a word after that. "I can't believe I used to... I thought I might have been in..." I swallow hard, I don't finish that. I pick it up again. "...with you. But... this is really a slap in the face, it really is. Now I know what a STUPID, PATHETIC, person you are. And... I hate you."
"Sora." He says it sternly. "Sora, goddammit--"
"SHUT UP!" I get up and leave. He doesn't deserve what I was trying to give him. I gave him more chances than I should've, and he blew it.
I don't look back as I go over by the lake and sit down. I have my things with me, luckily. I wouldn't want to have to go near him again.
How did this happen? Or, more importantly, how could I fall for his little act? He lied so much, especially when it came to these things.
But why? I was ALWAYS, no matter what, SO NICE to him! As far as I'm concerned, he can just kill himself with that thing. I tried to help, and he clearly didn't want it. I can't fix him and know when to take my leave. I won't let him break me, too.
I put down my backpack and curl up. It's cold out. I hear footsteps in the distance and look over; just Riku. I ignore him.
...He doesn't come near me, though. He stays his distance and stares out at the water. I don't think about how sad he looks, or how cute that makes him seem. As far as I'm concerned, he betrayed me.
Yes.
I let out a sigh and dip my finger tips in the freezing water. Once it gets too cold I lean back a little. I feel the necklace he gave me against my chest.
"My mom gave it to me... She told me to give it to someone special... "
I take it off and hold it over my head, ready to throw it into the lake. Riku's looking over now, tense and wide-eyed... and I can't do it. I don't know why, but I just can't. I slowly lower my arm and hold the silver in one hand.
"If I die...
I don't want you to forget me." Oh, God.
I look down at it as if I'm hypnotized. I feel...completely miserable. Am I over reacting? No, I can't be. He did something terrible.. he.. I hardly realize my grip on Riku's necklace loosens, until it falls into the freezing water of the lake.
"No!" I shout, bending as far as I can to reach it. The grass I'm sitting on is slippery, and I completely fall in.
Ohmygod. I feel as if I'm being stabbed. It so cold and I'm going to die and I can't swim. This is how it's going to end for me? Everyone else my age knows how to swim but me... I am going in such a childish way. Oh, God... dad...Riku... I'm too young to go. I think I'm loosing consciousness. I can't keep my eyes open...
RikuRikuRikuRiku...
Wait. I feel something. Someone's grabbed me, pulling me under. No, no, not under. It's pulling me up...
It's pushing me up and I land on the grass.
Oh my... God. I almost... I... I shake my head and pull myself up on land completely. I hear a small splash and see Riku pulling himself up.
"Let's get you dried off a little." He says, walking off somewhere, and coming back when he finds a towel someone must have left behind.
Jerk.
"I still hate you." I say quietly. He doesn't hear me, or maybe he just chooses not to listen. He wraps the towel around me tight and holds me close.
"You're going to freeze to death if you don't get warmed up." He says. He sits down next to me and reaches over to rub my shoulders. Warmth... "Feels good?" I don't reply. "Are you ever going to speak to me again, Sora..?" A long silence. "Sora... I... I'm sorry." Not going to talk. "But you need to hear me out." No way. "I... need to have my knife with me. It... ah..." I look up at him for a moment; his face is a little flushed. "I have to have it or I don't feel safe." He swallows hard. "I can't... help it."
"But why?" I say so quietly even I don't really hear it, and I know he doesn't.
"It's like some horrible disease."
"You lied to me."
"I don't know why I..." He winces. "This is really hard for me." ... "Sora, say something. This... isn't like you."... "Please, just... anything." Now you know how I feel! God, I just want you to say something sometimes and here we are and... "Sora!" He pleads.
There is a long pause, before I turn to him and grin.
"I got the necklace." I hold it up to prove it. He looks a little surprised for a moment before smiling.
"Oh, Sora..." He hugs me. I smile and hug him back.
"But why do you care if we're speaking or not? I thought you didn't like me."
He doesn't reply for a while.
"You care about me... and no one else ever really cared. You're... special. And if you stopped talking... it would be really weird. Like you stopped being... you." I'm special...? Oh... I feel floaty and so warm inside.
"I'm still freezing on the outside, though." I say to him, before realizing that probably made no sense to him.
"What?" He asks. "Oh... of course." We move around a bit so I'm sitting in front of him, between his legs and he's holding me close to him, his arms wrapped around my shoulders and his face against mine. I turn to look at him and our faces, I realize, are very close. Riku tilts his head a little and closes his eyes. He begins to get even closer when I feel a sneeze in my nose.
"Oh God, no." I say, turning my head quickly. I still manage to see how offended he looks. I let out a loud sneeze and wipe my nose on my sleeve. "Sorry."
"It's... okay." He says, looking a bit shocked. He blinks and shakes his head. Then he smiles and kisses my head.
Well, damn. I think I missed an opportunity for a tongue kiss with Riku. Next time I won't blow it. I sneeze again and again, and then begin to cough. I don't want to be sick. I can't.
"You feeling okay?" He asks. He cares!
"I'm alright." I say.
"Looks like you're getting a cold, but it should pass in a day or so, hopefully."
"Oh... alright." There's a short silence. "You know I only said no because I didn't want to sneeze on you right? Not because I wouldn't want to do anything with you..." He smirks.
"Sure." He says. "But I'm not making out with you until you get better." He winces. "That's not what I meant." Good, he's the bumbling idiot this time. I was getting tired of having that role. He bites his lip. "You just get some rest." I use the towel like a blanket and curl up on the ground. The grass is itchy, but that's okay. Riku lays down right next to me. He puts an arm around me and pulls me close to him. He strokes my hair and face and I fall asleep quickly.
I wake up some time later. The lake is far away. Father away than I remember falling asleep from it...
"I moved you away so you wouldn't roll back in." Riku says, as if he can read my mind.
"Oh... okay." I say, and fall back asleep.
It's dark when I wake up the second time. Riku's gone. I can hear him walking around and sighing. He sits down and runs his fingers through his hair. He lays down for a few moments before getting up. He growls in frustration. I watch him for a few minutes before closing my eyes again. I don't want him to know I'm awake- I don't know why, but I just... don't.
I fall asleep again quickly. Riku isn't so lucky.
--
"Mmm..." I feel groggy when I wake up for the final time, the next morning. I turn around, careful not to disturb Riku, who must have finally gotten to sleep early this morning, from the looks of it. His hair is a complete mess and he's sickly pale and he has bags under his eyes.
I hope he hasn't caught anything, like I have. I take off my sweater and put it over him, even though I'm still cold. I take the towel that must have fallen off me while I was sleeping and put that over him, too.
"Get that wet towel off of me." He mumbles before turning around and is seemingly back asleep. I brush a few fingers through his hair. "Nn..." He flops over on his stomach for a moment before curling up on his side, facing me. His eyes are open just slightly.
"You okay?" I ask quietly, brushing a strand of hair out of his face.
"Nn. So tired..." He mumbles. He smiles a little. "Hey, I should be taking care of you..."
"No, no," I say. "That's alright, Riku. Just get some sleep." He lets out a long breath and closes his eyes again. "Yeah, just get up when you're ready to." I smile at him, but he doesn't see. He mouths something, but it takes me a moment to realize what it is;
"Thank you."
I take advantage of the moment to curl up next to him and rest. No use walking around, I've seen the whole park and I'm not going near the demon lake again. I hold Riku's necklace in my hand and just look at it. It's so beautiful, I love it. Riku makes a noise in his sleep and puts an arm around me. "Nnng..." His fingers twitch. He's dreaming. His breathing gets faster and he begins to move around a bit. He takes a deep breath.
"Riku!" I shout. He bolts up.
"What?" He asks.
"You were having a nightmare. Are you okay now?"
"A nightmare...?" He says, running his fingers through his bangs. "A nightmare." He sighs.
"Is that why you couldn't fall asleep last night?" I ask.
"What?" He asks, kind of alarmed. "No. Not at all."
"What was your nightmare about?" I ask, concerned. He doesn't respond. "You can tell me, it's okay."
"I'd rather not." He mutters. I look at him for a moment, scanning his face.
"Alright." I smile. "You know you can tell me, though."
"Yeah." He says. A pause. "I know."
"You know--" I start, but I'm cut off.
"Excuse me," says a woman. We look over and Riku tenses a little. "But do you two live around here?" I look over at Riku.
"Not... really..." I answer, wondering where she's going with this.
"Do you even have any place to stay?" She asks. I look over at Riku. What do I say to that?
"Uh..."
She sighs. "Come with me." I look over at Riku, who's getting up and grabbing his things. I do the same. We follow her into some sort of homeless shelter. There's an unreadable look on Riku's face. 'You okay?' I mouth.
'Fine', I think he said.
'What's wrong?'
Something I can't tell, and then 'It's nothing.'
'You sure?' I start to mouth, before the woman starts talking. Something about how her parents or something started this place a billion years ago and runaways and other homeless kids stay here. Sometimes they get adopted my relatives or something. (Would my dad find me here?) Sometimes they find foster homes. Apparently, most of them hang around the park, which would explain how they found us.
"...We offer food and shelter and we have a TV room. We want to help all of these kids as much of possible, because most came from broken homes and could use our help." She smiles. "A lot of times they find foster homes and end up really happy." She smiles at us. "I'm sure you two will be no different."
"But I wouldn't want to be separated," He puts his arm around me. "from my boyfriend."
BOYFRIEND?
"Boyfriend?" She asks, looking at me. "No... of course not." There is an awkward silence. "Hey, I'll show you were you can stay. How old are you boys?"
"Fourteen." I say.
"Sixteen." Riku lies.
"Okay." She says. "We have different rooms or different age groups. I think you," she puts her hand on my shoulder, and it feels weird for some reason. "should go in that room right over there. And you," Riku pulls away before she can touch him. "Sorry. You can go in that room."
"Can't I be in the room with my boyfriend?"
"Riku!" I hiss quietly, giving him a look.
"Um..." She thinks about it. "Oh, why not?" She smiles and leads us to an empty bunk bed. "Lunch time is in a few minutes, right now everyone's having some Free Time. I'll show you around more then, that okay?" We nod and she leaves the room. There are some other boys in here, but just one or two.
"Boyfriend?" I ask Riku. He shrugs. Another guy keeps looking over, he looks really young but I know he's my age.
"Hi." He says quietly. I could hardly hear him.
"Hi!" I say. Riku makes a noise that might have been a hello.
"New here?" He asks, then shakes his head. "Well, duh..." He tries to smile. "Sorry." He's really cute, and can't help but laugh. He gives an embarrassed smile.
"My name's Sora, that's Riku." I say. "What's your name?"
"Raye." He says. "Dumb name... I know." He shrugs and goes back to what he was doing before. I go over to him.
"What are you doing, Raye?" I ask him. He's sitting on a bottom bunk one bed away from ours.
"Catching up on school work..." He says. "They have tutors and stuff here..." He's shy.
"You don't have to be uncomfortable." I say. He gives another shy smile and I brush a loose strand of hair over his face away.
I look over at Riku; He has another unreadable expression on his face.
Is it jealousy?
A moment later I hear the woman call for lunch. Raye and the other boy leaves, but Riku doesn't. I go over and sit by him.
"Riku...?"
"Looks like you made a new friend." He says, sounding a little angry. Oh my God, he's really jealous.
"Kind of." I say, smiling at him. "Come on, let's get something to eat. I'm starving."
"We have food." He says. I suddenly remember the trip to the grocery store.
"Chips and old grapes aren't enough for lunch, Riku. When are we going to get another chance for a good meal?" He doesn't respond.
"Okay, okay. I'll ask if we can bring something in here. How about that?" His face brightens a little.
"Sure." He says.
"Okay, I'll do that right now,...boyfriend."
He makes another noise at my little nickname for him.
--
Sorry this was so short. I really couldn't think of more to add. I'll make the next chapter nice and long, though. :D
And myredraincoat, thanks for helping out with this one!