Me no owns Super Smash Bros. Melee and Fear Factor but me do owns the Fear Factor staff thats me maked up. In addition, me has a goodest grammar in the holest widest planet. And also, me no own the practice of yelling very really loud and say it is calmly. It has credited to one of the story in my Favoritest Storys page. Also, many other parts used in this story is credited toward other stories I've read and liked. Imitation is the best form of flattery. :)
After a commercial break-(these episodes are not live, duh)
5:00 AM
The exact same thing as yesterday happens. Every body comes way earlier to the meeting spot and Joe, who arrives at exactly 5:00, is still the last person to reach Wendy's. The exact same things are said and the helicopter lands right outside of the door and Mario, Luigi, Peach, Link, Zelda, Captain Falcon, Mr. Game and Watch, Pikachu, Fox, and the other person, or should I say, people, crawled in the same manner as they did yesterday. They exited in the same manner as yesterday at some kind of desert oasis in the Mojave Desert and did the same morning ritual. The camera did the exact same thing to make sure the audiences didn't die of boredom. Mario, Luigi, Peach, Link, Zelda, Captain Falcon, Mr. Game and Watch, Pikachu, Fox, and the Ice Climbers lined up in front of Joe to listen to the rules of their next stunt.
"THE ICE CLIMBERS? YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! STOP TRYING TO SNEAK BACK IN TO THE GAME AND GO AWAY BEFORE I START TO GET ANGRY!" said Joe calmly.
"No way Jose, we're staying and you can't make us go away!" shouted the Ice Climbers at a calm Joe whose face was NOT red and whose ears were NOT spouting steam. He grabbed a tarantula from behind him and waved it in front of Popo and Nana's face.
"Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee," they screamed and ran away, leaving a huge dust cloud that made the other nine players cough and choke.
"Yokeydoke, this is stunt two, the stunt where you get to eat nasty stuff like bugs and cow testicles," said Joe excitedly, "Yummy delicious! Okay, so the stunt is this. All of you guys will be sitting at a large round table. Between every two chairs, there will be a huge barrel of spiders, beetles, larva, maggots, mosquitoes, frogs, cow testicles, worms, seaweed, and salt. When a whistle blows, you guys will stick your face into the barrel and start picking up food and chewing it and spitting it as liquid into a beer glass that is in front of you on the table. If you fill up your glass, a staff member will bring you another one. You will have one minutes to try fill up your cup or cups as much as you can. When the whistle blows again, spit out your last mouthful of food into the cup and sit in the chair to the right of you. When the whistle blows again, you have to drink the cup or cups of spit in front of you. Whoever finishes their cup the slowest will be eliminated. The trick is to spit a lot of food spit into the cups so that your competitor on the left will have to drink more, therefore, giving them a disadvantage. Everybody got it?"
"Umm…can you repeat that?" said Zelda
"No, too bad that you weren't listening. Just watch everybody else," said Joe.
Everybody was sitting in his or her chairs at the round table. Starting from Link and going clockwise, the seating arrangement was Link, Zelda, Peach, Mario, Luigi, Fox, Mr. Game and Watch, Pikachu, and Captain Falcon. Draw a picture if you can't understand the words
"On your marks, get set," Joe said. He blew the whistle and the time started going on the clock at the bottom left-hand corner of the T.V. screen above the Net-Zero Internet ad.
Link put his face into the barrel between him and Zelda and took a huge mouthful. He nearly puked as he chewed it up and spit it into the tall beer glass in front of him. The spit was a weird greenish color from the seaweed and bug blood. After a few deep breaths, he took another huge mouthful and the same thing repeated all over again.
Zelda muttered some prayers and put her face close to the bug barrel and screamed as an antenna brushed against her face. Fifty seconds later, she took a big mouthful of seaweed, what she thought was the least disgusting of the lot, and chewed it up and spit into the cup. She ducked under the table quickly and barfed all over the bottom of the table and Link's boots, who hadn't noticed because he was too busy filling up his tenth cup with spiders, beetles, larva, maggots, mosquitoes, frogs, cow testicles, worms, seaweed, and salt.
Peach screamed as soon as she saw the nasties in the barrel between her and Mario, and she couldn't bring herself to look at it. After ten seconds, she was so distressed that she sat there with her head in her hands crying and shouting curses at Joe.
"Mama mia," said Mario as he took a huge mouthful of nasty food and spit it into the cup. "Mama mia, doesn't taste-a that-a bad-a. Tastes-a like-a Luigi's cooking-a," said Mario as he took another mouthful, rolling it around in his mouth to relish the flavor.
"Yippee!" shouted Luigi as he dunked his face in the barrel between him and Fox. "Yippee!" shouted Luigi as he chewed with his mouth open and a beetle crawled out onto his chin. "Yippee!" shouted Luigi as he spit the nasties into the cup. Now, repeat that in your head for one minute and you will know what Luigi did for the second stunt.
"Yucko," said Fox, staring at the barrel and Luigi shouting "Yippee" and eating like the fat man he saw the other day at a restaurant. He produced a blender from his pocket and filled it with the Fear Factor concoction. He pressed the blender labeled "Liquefy" and liquefied it at 60mph. Then he poured the whole mixture into a cup. Mr. Ofofo immediately brought him another cup. The whole process took about five seconds. Repeat that twelve times.
Mr. Game and Watch was eating with great gusto and spitting with greater gusto and signaling for more cups with the greatest gusto. How did he do this, you ask. The answer is…Mr. Game and Watch doesn't have saliva or a tongue so he cannot taste the nastiness. Without a tongue, he doesn't have taste buds to taste and without saliva, food does not have taste.
Pikachu watched Mr. Game and Watch eat and eat out of their barrel and got very angry, because spiders, beetles, larva, maggots, mosquitoes, frogs, cow testicles, worms, seaweed, and salt were a Pikachu delicacy. Determined to eat a lot before Mr. Game and Watch ate the whole barrel, Pikachu ate with huge gusto and spit with huger gusto and signaled for more cups with the hugest gusto.
Captain Falcon was confused as he looked at the barrel that he got to have all for himself. Spiders, beetles, larva, maggots, mosquitoes, frogs, cow testicles, worms, seaweed, and salt were the daily, nutritional, part of a complete breakfast, but will not save you money on car insurance meal at F-Zero. That was like asking an Earthling to eat cereal at the disgusting stunt on Fear Factor! Captain Falcon ate and spit like it was a normal meal. This was what he did every day! He was confused at how Peach turned green after looking at his everyday meal.
Joe blew the whistle, signaling the end of one minute. Everybody either barfed and looked relieved or groaned and looked wistfully at the barrel. The results are:
Link made 10 cups
Zelda made half cup
Peach made 0 cups
Mario made 10 cups
Luigi made 8 cups
Fox made 12 cups
Mr. Game and Watch made 15 cups
Pikachu made 16 cups
Captain Falcon made 9 cups
"Everybody move one seat counter-clockwise!" shouted Joe. Everybody moved over one seat. The following chart shows whose seat it used to be, who the person sitting in it is, and how many cups that need to finish.
Link-Zelda-10 cups
Zelda-Peach-half cup
Peach-Mario-0 cup
Mario-Luigi-10 cups
Luigi-Fox-8 cups
Fox-Mr. Game and Watch-12 cups
Mr. Game and Watch-Pikachu-15 cups
Pikachu-Captain Falcon-16 cups
Captain Falcon-Link-9 cups
"On your marks, get set…" shouted Joe. He blew the whistle. Gulp, gulp, gulp, everybody drank the cup of foreign spit, except in Mr. Game and Watch's cups' case, beetle and spider blood and other wet stuff mixed with salt. Link and Fox drank the cups while their eyes watered and boogers streamed out of their nose. Zelda pretended to drink while actually pouring the cups onto the ground. Peach cried and refused to drink her half cup. Mario didn't need to drink anything because Peach didn't spit anything. Luigi said, "Yippee" and drank Mario's spit like a smoothie. Mr. Game and Watch drank Fox's twelve cups, which were fresh from the blender, with THE greatest gusto ever. Pikachu drank Mr. Game and Watch's fifteen cups with THE hugest gusto ever and beat Mr. Game and Watch to finish. Captain Falcon drank the sixteen cups like an Earthling drinking apple juice.
The results to finish the cups of spit:
Mario, Pikachu, Mr. Game and Watch, Luigi, Zelda, Captain Falcon, Link, Fox, and Peach (who is still crying with a half full cup).
"And the person that gets eliminated is…FOX!" shouted Joe.
"WHAT!" shrieked Fox, "PEACH SHOULD BE ELIMINATED!"
"NO, YOU CHEATED BY USING THE BLENDER SO YOU SHOULD BE ELIMINATED!" shouted Joe.
"ELIMINATE ZELDA BECAUSE SHE JUST POURED IT ONTO THE GROUND!" screamed Fox, and with that he took out his blaster and pointed it at Joe. "ELIMINATE ZELDA INSTEAD OF ME AND YOU WILL WALK AWAY UNHARMED! ELIMINATE ME AND YOU WILL SUFFER A DEATH!" Fox yelled.
Joe gulped and said, "Zelda, you are eliminated." Fox lowered the blaster and aimed it at Link as soon as he was going to raise his sword and decapitate Fox. Link backed down and scuffed his feet. Joe winked at Rodneyand as quick as lightning, he confiscated Link's bombs, boomerang, sword, and shield, and Fox's blaster and stuffed them into his pockets.
"Meet me back here at 5:00 AM tomorrow for your third stunt, which is a water stunt,and remember to bring your swim suits. Goodbye and have nice day," said Joe and he drove away to a hotel to get some shuteye.
Zelda walking away, all by herself. Her voice in the background speaks
"It wasnot fair, just because Fox has a blaster and I don't doesn't mean that he gets to stay after cheating in a stunt. I am so angry that I kicked a tree. Fox is such a…(next 5 minutes are filled with cursing and swearing at Fox that the camera does not wish to record in fear that toddlers will go around repeating the curses at Fox, therefore, hurting Fox's feelings).
Meanwhile…back at the hotel…
Joe said, "Hey! Since when did animals talk?"
A/N: Yokie, the second stunt was easier to write than the first stunt, but I think it was shorter by a lot. Please review and say who you think should be eliminated in the water stunt and what kind of swimsuits they should wear (heehee).