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Clark
shot up, waking from a nightmare. He found himself on the floor of
his bedroom. He was sweaty and couldn't control his body from
trembling. He laid flat against the cold wood floor as he caught his
breath.
When he got up he saw that his clock read 2:56am. Clark
tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't. Flying seemed more likely
than him getting a few more hours of sleep in, so he got up.
After
about an hour of watching mindless TV, Clark was bored stiff, and he
felt tired and exhausted. But yet, sleep would not come.
Clark
admired everyone else for coping with the flaws of a human body; but
he was not accustomed to the weakness it brought, and how easily
exhausted they became. Once again the fear and worry leaked back into
his mind; why hadn't his abilities returned? Why had his body been
giving out more and more lately? Why, no matter how much sleep he
got, the more tired he felt by each growing day?
Clark couldn't
ignore the nagging questions in the back of his mind anymore, and he
pulled out his cell phone to call his nurse, Judy.
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"Yes, I want you to do all the tests on me this time."
Clark rolled up his sleeve as his nurse extracted a blood sample,
"Because you are missing something."
Judy turned
around, to hide the pang of guilt her face would reveal. She
continued on with her physical exam of Clark, and told him what she
had the past 5 times, "Clark, everything seems normal. I'm
sorry; I can't explain the symptoms you claim to have."
"You're
missing something." Clark insisted, "It's getting worse
each day." His voice was edgy with fear and frustration at lack
of answers.
"Clark, I did all the tests, you are healthy. You
are probably just getting used to your new condition. It's probably
hitting you harder than a regular person because you haven't been
used to it your whole life." She reasoned.
"That's not
it." Clark stormed out, scared, angry, and confused.
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"Judith, my word is final. Continue with the medication; Clark can not regain his abilities." Lionel was annoyed.
"But it's having serious side effects. No matter how small the dosage of meteor rocks, it still has just enough effect to strip him of his strength, speed, and X-ray. That serum is doing serious damage to his body!" She hoped he would give her permission to stop the medication she had been giving Clark, unknowingly to him, every two weeks for the past few months.
"He's fine." Lionel hadn't seen any seriously illness in his boy.
"No, he's not! His body is rapidly deteriorating. It's finally have lasting effects, that can not be reversed!" She felt so guilt and angry.
"You don't' know that." Lionel reasoned.
"Mr. Luther, the last tests I did on Clark, confirmed my suspicions. Clark called me in the middle of the night, demanding I do tests. Now you know he wouldn't do something like that if he wasn't extremely concerned. He can feel it now; it's stripping more than just his abilities." She pleaded for him to see.
"He may be worried, but it's normal. He doesn't know how to deal with the everyday struggles of the human body. How can he know what is even to be a justified concern?" Lionel said.
"If you do not stop the treatments now, he is at serious risk for further irreversible damage to his body." She made it clear, so he couldn't humor himself, so he did not have to feel guilty.
"I'll have to take that risk." He said coldly.
"He could die!" She shouted, so angry at his cold-heartedness.
Lionel gave her a dangerous glare, at her outburst, "You will continue to give him the proper dosage." He turned and left.Judy was in tears. She was ruining Clark's health because of her fear of Lionel's wrath. He could destroy her life, if she didn't do as he wished, but how could that justify her actions? She had been playing survival of the fittest, saving her own life by destroying another. And not just anyone- Clark. He trusted her, and she used that trust to betray him. Not anymore. Consequences be damned. She was not only never going to ever drug Clark again, she was going to tell him the whole truth of why his body was failing him.
She knew she was most likely forfeiting her life, but she didn't want to continue living it anymore if she was at fault for Clark's death. Already, the guilt she felt was almost unbearable, especially when Clark reached out to her for answers, with his petrified eyes starring through her. She lied to him, time and time again, saying he was alright, when he could feel it wasn't.
It stopped here.
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Clark
stared down at his desk, oblivious to the class being given around
him. 16 minutes ago he had taken up his pencil, preparing to take
notes, but the pencil shook uncontrollably in his hands, as the
tremors went threw his hand. They had stopped within less than 30
seconds, but Clark was still staring at his hand. That had never
happened before. Clark set the palm of his hand flat against the desk
as it trembled again, this time not stopping at his hand, but
reaching further to his arm. Clark steadied his arm with his other
hand, snapping out of his focus.
He looked up to see Lana
wide-eyed staring at him 2 desks over. She had undoubtedly seen, and
it had scared her just as much as him. Clark hated it. If Lana was
worried, he couldn't even hide behind the thin masquerade that he was
alright. No, once Lana found out about his body's failing state, then
he would really have to face all the fear in his mind, head on. So as
much as he loved and trusted Lana, he had in no way made her aware of
his unhealthy state.
Lana's eyes still gazed at him. He had to
look away, because his eyes could not reassure he was fine.
Clark
practically jumped out the door, when the bell rang. But Lana was
quick to follow him.
"Clark?" She said it as a question.
He knew she meant it as a plea for an explanation, but avoided
it.
"Hi Lana." He struggled to sound normal.
"What's
wrong?" She gently squeezed his arm.
"Nothing." He
lied and forced a smile, but Lana was not deceived.
"Clark,
something has been bothering you lately, and today in class... your
face... you looked so scared." She didn't want to say the word
'scared' because Clark always got defensive when accused of feelings
like that, but he didn't this time. Instead he said nothing. His lack
of denial was a red flag, it was as good as him admitting there was a
problem.
"Is it your dad?" Lana asked, trying to help
him open up, aware of how difficult it was for him.
"No..."
He couldn't lie; he had to tell her, "I just haven't been
feeling so great lately."
Lana's eyes flashed with alarm. Was
he falling back into his depression?
"What do you mean?"
She could never outright ask if he was depressed.
"I...
um..." Clark didn't know why it was so hard to just say he was
sick, but it was. So Lana had to keep guessing.
"Clark, I
know all this stuff with your dad is pretty stressful and you know,
it's alright to feel sad every once in a while." Lana
intertwined her fingers with Clark's, as they exited the
school.
Although Clark did feel a sadness of no longer having a
relationship with his father, that wasn't the big issue, "No,
it's not like that." He took a deep breath, and mentally kicked
himself for holding back so long, "It's my body. I'm not in good
physical shape."
Lana thought that scared her more than if he
had been depressed, "That's why your arm was shaking. What's
happening? Why?" Lana just assumed he had the answers and that
it was going to be the next words of his mouth.
"I don't
know. My tests say I'm healthy, and they can't explain my tremors,
chest pains, or constant fatigue." Clark let her know his
symptoms.
Lana didn't know what to say. No matter how brave Clark
seemed, she knew he was losing sleep over this.
Clark couldn't
stand the look of pain and worry on Lana's face and regretted telling
her; making her worry, "It's not that bad." Clark forced a
grin, as he continued on his path to his car.
"Clark."
Lana knew how eager he was to change the subject, "Are you still
coming over tonight?"
"Yeah." He smiled, but it
immediately faded, as he looked away, and drove
off.
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"Hey, Mr. Kent." Clark flashed a grin, before Lana came into the room.
"Hi, Clark." Lana had felt so good, until she learned of Clark's problem this afternoon. The two men she loved most in her life were getting along, which made her relationship with her father increase it's strength tenfold.
"Hey." Clark gave Lana kiss on the cheek. It would have been more, but Jonathan was in the room, and despite the progress in their relationship, Clark knew Jonathan wouldn't allow him any gesture less innocent than a kiss on the cheek.
All 3 of them turned to the door, as a woman in her earlier 40's walked in.
"Can I help you?" Jonathan asked, having never seen her before.
Clark recognized her at once, it was Judy, his nurse.
"Clark, I'm sorry to come here, but I followed you from the mansion. I couldn't tell you this there." She looked extremely nervous.
"What's wrong?" Clark sensed it was something important.
"Um..." She looked at Jonathan, posing an unspoken question to Clark.
"It's okay, you can say it in front of them." Clark assured her.
"Clark..." A tear slide down her cheek, "You are going to hate me for this... and you should..."
Lana wrapped an arm around Clark's waist and held his hand, showing she was here for support.
"What?" Clark asked, "Just say it."
"I lied the other night when I told you that you were healthy." She had to say this all at once, "I let Lionel manipulate me into drugging you... it was a serum he had made. It had such small traces of refined meteor rock, that it would only strip your powers, and leave you with the normal functions of any other human being. Two weeks ago I started seeing a change in your physical state, as you probably did too. The serum is having lasting effects now... the meteor fragments inside it are attacking your vital organs. At first it just stayed in your bloodstream, but now it has moved on." She couldn't look at Clark, as he waited for his response.
Lana could feel Clark's whole body tense up, "What are you saying? Lasting effects?"
His
question surprised her, as she expected immediate anger. But Clark
needed to know it all first, before he could release his anger.
"I'm
not sure how much damage it has done so far... it should run it's
course and the serum will dissipate in your body. After that, you
should begin to regain everything you lost. But that was before..."
That was what was supposed to happen, but she didn't know, because it
was never supposed to affect him like it was, "There is a chance
that you could recover without almost any real damage, but I doubt
it." She owed him honesty.
"Am I dying?" Clark
asked seriously, because the thought had crossed his mind three time
a day at least.
"No, no." She tried to ease his concern,
"As long as you don't receive anymore treatments."
"Why
would my dad want to kill me?" Clark felt the ultimate betrayal
upon his already heavy burdened shoulders.
"He knew the
effects it was having on you, but he wasn't trying to kill you. He
just wanted your abilities stripped." She told him.
Clark had
all the information he needed, and he was raw with anger, "Get
out."
"Listen, Clark... I'm truly sorry." She
needed forgiveness from him, but he wasn't going to give it, he had
been betrayed too many times. He was losing faith in mankind.
I
could be mean, I could be angry,
You know I could be just like
you.
I could be fake, I could be stupid,
You know I could be
just like you.
"Shut up." He clenched his fists,
"I trusted you... and you knew that. I came to you week after
week asking you what was wrong with me! You lied to my face every
time! You not only weakened me to the point were I couldn't focus
enough to fight back against my father, now you are telling me that
I'm never going to be healthy again."
I thought you
were standing beside me, you were only in my way, You're wrong if you
think that I'll be just like you. You thought you were there to guide
me, you were only in my way, you're wrong if you think that I'll be
just like you. You thought you were there to guide me you were only
in my way, You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you.
"Clark-" She tried to explain how threatening
Lionel could be, but Clark cut her off.
"I don't care about
anything you have to say to me! Get out!" The anger pulsed threw
him so strongly it was hard to stop at just yelling.
Judy quickly
disappeared from the house and into the night, driving off in her
car.
"Clark, are you okay?" Lana rubbed his arm. Clark
was smoldering with rage and didn't trust his tongue, so he said
nothing.
Jonathan felt for Clark. He realized that he truly did
care for Clark, when he felt the need to lash out at Lionel, in
Clark's defense, and it truly surprised him at the depth of which his
feelings for Clark laid.
Clark sat down on the couch; his knuckles
white as he griped the armrest in rage, "I'll kill him."
I
could be cold, I could be ruthless,
You know I could be just like
you.
I could be weak, I could be senseless, You know I could be
just like you.
Jonathan or Lana, didn't have to ask who he
was referring to. He wanted revenge on Lionel. Jonathan could not
help but feel that need to. If he had been Clark, he didn't even know
how he would react. He had, had a wonderful father growing up, and
Jonathan always trusted Hiram, he fell to his father when times were
hard. But what do you do when your father is the problem? Lionel's
betrayal went far beyond any squabbles Jonathan ever had with Hiram.
Lionel had been willing to sacrifice his own son's life, for reasons
unknown.
"Clark, listen, calm down... don't do anything
rash." Jonathan had to try and put out the fire of anger that
Clark was feeling.
"He was slowly killing me... because I
wouldn't love him..." Clark felt such anger at that thought that
it scared him.
On my own,
cause I can't take living
with you.
All alone,
So I wont turn out like you want me
to.
Clark jumped up from the chair and headed for the
door.
"Clark, don't." Jonathan placed a hand on Clark's
shoulder.
"Why? The world is better off with him dead."
Until now Clark had never really wanted his father dead. He hadn't
crossed that line; Lionel had shoved him over it.
"It's not
your place, Clark. You can't do this." Jonathan tried to reason
with Clark, but when you are feeling rage and betrayal that deep, it
is a wonder how he could even speak or hear the words Jonathan was
speaking.
"It is!" Clark screamed, "I'm his son.
And I'm finally going to act like it!" Clark shouted it, and
Jonathan and Lana understood the hidden meaning, because they knew
about how Lionel had killed his parents.
"No!" Lana
screamed and ran out of the house after him.
"Lana, go back
inside." Clark instructed.
"You are going to ruin your
life." Lana had to stop him.
"No, I'm going to make
something of it! If I can stop him... I've rid the world of a great
evil, and my life will make a difference." Clark slammed his car
door shut and disappear in the darkness of the night, as he drove
away.
I could be mean, I could be angry,
You know I
could be just like you.
Lana watched him go with tears in
her eyes. She felt her father's hands on her shoulder, "We have
to stop him."
"Lana..." Jonathan felt the urge too,
but he could not afford to get tangled into the extremely dangerous
battles the Luthers played. He had a daughter and wife to provide
for, and he could not afford to end up dead.
"Dad..."
Lana felt despair grip her heart. She knew that if Clark killed
Lionel it would ruin everything. He would get away with it, as that
was what money bought, but she couldn't be with him. She could not
love a murderer.
Yet she had to let him go, without chasing him,
because she knew there was nothing she could do. If he could truly
kill Lionel, then he wasn't worth chasing after. Yet her heart urged
her to go...
Lana was only sure of only one thing... tonight
would completely shattered whatever was left of Clark's innocence,
because she was certain that tonight would only end in tragedy.
You
thought you were standing beside me, you were only in my way, You're
wrong if you think that I'll be just like you. You thought you were
there to guide me, you were only in my way, you're wrong if you think
that I'll be just like you, You thought you were there to guide me,
you were only in my way, You're wrong if you think that I'll be just
like you.
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TBC...
Okay! I FINALLY got back into the writing groove, I was
having a bit of lack of motivation. lol, sorry for the gap in
updates. You deserve this extra long update since I didn't do any for
like 5 days.
Okay purdy please reply so I don't end up days and
days with writing again. thanks!
Okay, song lyrics by Three Days
Grace "Just like You"