Runaway
chapter 22

"For liking me better."

I don't know whether it's the tone in his voice, or the sudden spark in his eyes that suddenly makes me wish he never said that.

Like I'm suddenly in danger.

It's been completely quiet ever since he said that. I wonder if Riku's still awake. I run my finger's through his hair and he grabs my wrist. I jump and instinctively try to move away. He smiles and lets go.

"You're still awake." I say, stupidly. Well, duh.

Riku smiles. "So are you."

"I guess I am." What! That didn't even make sense! I wince and look back at him. "Can't fall asleep?" I ask. He shrugs.

"Just thinking."

I roll over on my stomach and he does, too. He puts an arm around me and pulls me close. Her ruffles my hair. God, he's smiling again. "You like me better, huh?" He says.

I laugh a little.

"Of course I do."
There's a pause.

"I'm not tired." He says suddenly.

"What?" I ask.

"Let's go back to the park."

"How come?"

"Just come on."
He grabs my sweater and tugs at it, trying to get me up.

"Hold on." I say, grabbing my things and standing.
We rush over to the park.

The moon is reflecting off the water in the lake and it's gorgeous.

"Come on," He sneaks off somewhere and I try and follow him.

"Riku?" I ask quietly.

"Over here." He whispers. I feel him grab my wrist and he leads me in a small spot, completely hidden by trees. He sits down right near the water and pats the grass next to him. I sit next to him and lay my head on his shoulder. It's sort of... romantic, really. With the moon and stars... I reach up to brush his hair from his eyes, but he puts his arms around me and pulls me onto his lap. I lean over a bit as he kisses the back of my neck. I sit back up an turn over and try to kiss his lips... but can't quite reach...

I small breeze kicks up and Riku pulls me tighter. He pulls the back of my sweater up a bit and buries his head in my back, using my sweater like a shield or blanket.

"I'm cold." I can still hear him say. I wiggle free and hold my arms out for him. He doesn't try coming near me. I pull him over by his jacket sleeve, so his head is resting on my lap, and I'm stroking his hair. He shudders and sighs and sits up. I look over at him- our faces are really close.

So close, that when I lick my lips, I accidentally lick his, too. I pull away.

"Sorry..." I murmur. To my complete surprise, he puts his hand on my face.

"I don't mind." He says. I can feel myself blush again. This is so uncomfortable. I fall over so I'm laying down, and Riku crawls over so he's looking down at me.

Oh god, this is my dream of him all over again.

"Riku..?" I ask.

"What?" He murmurs.

"Enough." He backs off, a puzzled look on his face. Riku puts his am over my shoulder, now. I lean on him and he wraps his other arm around my waist. "Mmm...Riku...get off." He doesn't do anything. "I'm serious..." He still doesn't move, but instead begins to stroke the back of my neck. "I need to go to the bathroom."
He gets off right away. "I'll be back soon, Riku."

"... Whatever."

I hear something, but I don't know what it is. I begin waling towards this sound...
...and crash right into someone. I freeze, only thinking about the psychopaths and druggies who are probably out in an old park at this hour.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." For a moment, I'm not sure if I'm he one who says it.
But I'm not, and it takes me a few minutes to realize who it is.

"...Raye?"

"What?" There's a pause. "Sora." He says.
I begin to ask him why he's here, but he cuts me off. "Oh my god, I didn't even know you were here. I didn't follow you, I swear. I just like coming out here sometimes. Don't get mad at me. Please."

"I'm not mad." I say. "Just calm down."

"You're not mad?" He asks.

"Why would I be?" I put my hand on his shoulder, and we move away to where we can see better. He shrugs.

"It's just..." I put my hand on his shoulder and he squirms. I change the subject.

"Why are you up at this hour, anyway? And out. Does anyone know you're gone?" He looks guilty for a moment before replying.

"They don't notice I'm gone. I'm not gone for that long, anyway..." He rubs his arms and shivers a little.

"Just as long as it won't get you into trouble..." I take off my sweater and put it around his shoulders.
He smiles.

"Thanks." I pull him close to me. God, I don't know why I'm doing any of this. I like holding Raye. He's wiggly and squirms a bit, but he nestles his head into my chest and clutches my shirt, like he needs me.
And we're kissing again. I hold him tight, and just start really getting into it when he pulls away, like he's been struck.

"Your boyfriend." He says, sounding suddenly scared. I sigh and run my fingers through my hair.
I didn't even think about Riku. "I should go."

I could go with him if I wanted. I could just not bother grabbing my things and just leave.

But what would Riku think? He'd think I'd just been another person to abandoned him. Would he think I used him?

But that's why I'm not leaving him. You like being with Riku, Sora. Remember? He's more important to you than Raye. You love Riku, not Raye.

Right.

"Maybe you should go." I say quietly.
Raye is a little surprised at this, but he nods.

"I didn't mean for this to happen." He says.

"I know you didn't." I reply.

"I..." He tries to stutter out something. "I'm glad I got to see you again."

"Me too." I agree. I shrug. "Who knows? Maybe I'll see you again sometime." His face brightens after I say that.

"I hope so."
There's an uncomfortable silence.

"So... goodbye for real."

"Goodbye for real." He agrees.
He watches as I walk away.
--

I begin to realize all of that really happened as I see Riku, looking around. He was obviously waiting for me, and that makes me feel horrible.

"Hey, Riku." I say, brushing back his hair and giving him a kiss.

"You're back." He says. "You were gone for a long time."

"I was?"
I sit down next to him.

"I was beginning to think you were sick..." I flush after he says that, and I feel something in the pit of my stomach. Guilt?
I brush his hair back again. I know I should tell him I saw Raye. I should probably tell him we kissed once or twice. Or more...

But why should I feel bad? He's not my boyfriend.
Because he cares about you and trusts you, and you just went out and betrayed him, a voice inside my head is screaming, God, how selfish.
No, I'm not...
...going to argue with a voice in my head. Am I crazy or what?

"Sora? Are you okay?" He asks. I can hear concern in his voice, there's no mistaking that.

"What? I'm fine. Just thinking."

"That's a change." I know he's teasing, but I still feel bad when he says it.
He doesn't know a thing. And it's probably for the best. "Hey," His voice snaps me out of my thoughts again. "What happened to your sweater?"

"...What?"
Oh my god. My sweater. Raye still has it.

"I don't know." I lie. "I... took it off and just forgot about it..." He looks at me.

"You're lying." He says. How can he even tell? "I've seen you lie enough times to know when you're telling the truth or not." He sounds stern now. God, I'm in trouble.

"No I'm not." That's good Sora, just breathe. Don't stutter, don't blink a lot, just act natural. "I just don't know where it is." He looks at me for a moment and shrugs.
"Well, I guess you're just air-headed enough to not notice your sweater's gone on a cold night." He's teasing me again, and a part of me hates it.
But I let out a fake laugh, anyway. Just to please him. "Use mine." He says, taking off his jacket. I can see the scars along his arms and it makes me shiver.

"That's okay." I say, giving him back the jacket. He looks slightly offended for a moment.

"What?"

"That's okay." I repeat. "Really, I want you to use it. I'm not cold." He looks offended again.

"Whatever." He turns so he's not looking at me.

"...Are you mad at me?"

"No."
I pull him close and stroke his hair.

"But thanks for the offer. Really."
He smiles a bit.

"Whatever." He says. I kiss is forehead and he's smiling again. He gets up and sits right in front of me, so I hold him tight and kiss him some more.
Oh my god, I was kissing Raye and then I just come over like nothing happened and do the same to Riku.

I push him away and bury my head in my hands.
"What?" He asks. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I say. "I'm just tired. Maybe I should get to sleep."

"Maybe." He agrees, his voice soft and low. I shrug.

"Are we sleeping right here or are we going to move on?"
He shrugs this time.

"Here, I guess. But just a little further away from the lake. You tend to... move a lot when you sleep." That makes me blush for some reason. "But it's safe and hidden; I doubt anyone would find us." He shrugs again.

"I'll just go to sleep when you do." I say with a grin, and sit down right next to him again.

"You should just go to sleep. I'm not tired yet. Aren't you?" He says that in a way that makes me feel inferior. He hasn't spoken to me that way in a long time.

"I guess so but..." I put my arms around him and bury my face in his shoulder. He tenses a little- he doesn't have anything to say.

"Just go to sleep, Sora." He says again, in that cool way that makes me upset.

"I want to stay up with you." I protest. I can't stop myself before I realize I sound like a five-year-old. I can tell he wants to say something, but I'm really happy when he doesn't.

"Suit yourself." He says, staring out into the lake. He gets this lost look in his eyes, the one that kind of scares me. Like he's going to get really depressed and angry and quiet. Again. I brush his hair back and put my hand on his shoulder. "Don't touch me." I pull away.
If he's going to be like that I might as well just go to sleep right now.

"Good night, Riku." I say, getting up and settling down somewhere close enough so I can still see him, but even more hidden behind the trees.

It's only a little creepy.

Riku keeps looking back at me. I make it seem like I don't care.
-

Eventually Riku comes over and lays down next to me. He doesn't close his eyes, and he doesn't try to sleep.

It's only a little creepy.
-

I know I fell asleep, but I don't know how long for.

"Riku?" I ask quietly.

"What?" He hasn't even tried to sleep.

"How long have I been asleep for?"

"A half an hour or so." He says and turns around.

"What are you thinking about?" He doesn't answer. "Is it Raye?" He still doesn't answer. "You know I like you better." I feel guilty as I say it, even though it's true. I think.
--

I fell asleep again, but I now I must have been sleeping for at least a few hours.

"Riku?"

"What?" He sounds groggy, but I have a feeling he hasn't gotten any sleep.

"I saw Raye tonight. I didn't mean to- we just kind of bumped into each other."

He turns around. "What?" He asks. He looks very tired. If he tries to kill me, I bet I could get away.

"I saw Raye and... I kind of kissed him. And we kissed and stuff at the home, too." He looks confused. "I still like you better. I just... something came over me. I feel horrible."

"..."

"Riku?"

"Oh." Is all he says.

"If you want to talk about it or something... you know, I'm really sorry."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I really like you, Riku." I put my arms around him.
Much, much later he turns over on his back, and pulls me up so I'm laying on him. He rests his hands on my stomach and laces his fingers together.

He doesn't say anything for a while, and I eventually drift back to sleep.
--

Sorry this chapter's kind of short. The next two will be much longer. (And posted together, too.) I would have updated sooner, but my internet broke. Literally.

So, I heard this rumor that it's against the rules to reply to reviews and make author notes. when I first heard that, I went HMMM! like Papa Bear AND TK. I just read the site policy, AND the recent updates. There is no rule about making author's notes or replying to reviews. It IS, however, against the rules to dedicate entire chapters to it. Read the rules you lazy bums. THWAK-THWAK.

Anyway,sorry about this chapter. Sort of filler, some fluff, and Sora's inner battles. P